Beautiful Agony

Beautiful Agony

Status: Finished

Genre: Erotica


Status: Finished

Genre: Erotica


He took me away from everything. He made me feel. He made me love. He hurt me in a way that was acceptable. He swept me off my feet. He loved me. I loved him.


He took me away from everything. He made me feel. He made me love. He hurt me in a way that was acceptable. He swept me off my feet. He loved me. I loved him.

Chapter1 (v.1) - Beautiful Agony

Author Chapter Note

My name is Lexus, and this is my story. I've been through a lot in my life, and experienced many things. Everything changed when I met Tristan again three years later. He was my escape from all the pain I felt. Love can be the worst and best thing to happen to someone. For me it was a bit of both.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: July 06, 2014

Reads: 3879

Comments: 1

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: July 06, 2014



Authors note: This story has sex as a main element, but to teenagers and young adults sex is big part. Or at least it was in my experience. Enjoy! xoxo,Lara

Every time he spoke to me sent the memories of all the harm he caused rushing back as if it had just happened. I always feel as if my throat is going to close up and that the dam would break and I would dissolve into a fit of tears. He never even knew he affected me. I didn’t want him to. But I couldn’t keep pretending I was okay. I thought when my mom and I left him it would be okay that he wouldn’t do that to me anymore. My self-esteem was low enough I didn’t need him making me question myself. I wish he would just hit me instead. After thirty seconds of sobbing in the bathroom corner, I walked out to face him again with my signature smile and made up face. Everything was fine. Right? I could do this. He’d drive me home in a minute. I could get through this. I never could tell him off, if I was to dare and tell him anything or tell him I wasn’t well or I got a bad grade he would just blame my mom. That wasn’t right. It was his fault. Standing up straight I slid into the booth smiling.

“Ready to go dad?” I asked. I could do this. I just had to hold on until I got home. Dear god his beer looked real appealing right now. Anything so ease the pain.

 He looked up at me with a scowl  “Fine. You won’t ever talk to me anyway, and you only ate a small salad. You need to gain wait Lexus.”

 I took the deepest breath I could and looked him in the eye and sweetly uttered “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Well I do. Your mother screwed up your immune system and you need to eat a bit of dirt not this organic crap. You always lie to me and tell me what I want to hear.”

Okay Lexus you can do this. Inhale. Exhale. Just smile. “I’m doing my best. I like healthy food. I’ve got to get home soon. I have plans at six.” Okay maybe I don’t have plans, but I need to get the hell out of here.

The ride home was silent other than his constant chastising. I wish he didn’t have the power to hurt me. But goddammit he does, I don’t know why I want his approval. I don’t know why I want him to love me. I don’t even want to see him. Ever again. Never fucking ever. But what can I do mom and I need the child support, and she doesn’t need a lecture. Although I wasn’t exactly the perfect daughter at lunch so he will probably call her with one anyway. By the time I unlocked the door to my house I was shaking. I won’t I cry. I won’t. I can’t. I’m fine. Though no matter how many times he lectures me every time rips of the old Band-Aids and it hurts. It may not make sense. Well I guess it does. But I really fucking hurts. I remember everything he has ever done. Even if he is nice one day, I remember. How do they expect me to forget? God I just want it stop hurting. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. Not point out how my rips stick out, how my hair is thin at the ends, how my eyes look dark. The fact that I have some curves and my thighs almost touch. God I shouldn’t have eaten that cake yesterday. I’m so pale. I’m sorry I’m not perfect I really am. I throw off my Henley, vest and tug off my jeans. I continue my inspection of myself. Oh fuck. My head. I think I’m crazy. I storm into the kitchen grab the bourbon and toss back a shot. Ahh that’s better. God I’m really a fucked up person. Dashing to my bathroom I grab the knife and run it across my thighs. I like the pain. I don’t press hard enough to draw a lot of blood. I don’t like blood, but I like pain. I wash my hands and put antiseptic on the cuts I just formed. I’m not your typical self- harmer. I don’t do wrists, and I don’t want anyone to know. Sometimes it just centers me, the pain I mean. You all probably think I’m fucked up now. And you would be right to be honest.  I hear my IPhone buzz it jerks me back to real life. Now don’t get the idea that I’m rich because I have an iPhone a few fancy clothes and a massive load of shoes. I used to be, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. I smile when I see a text from my friend Kenna

 ‘Hey babe. I hope you’re okay. I’m guessing you’re not though cause your saw that jackass of a dad. Anyways there’s a party at Tristan’s tonight. Max invited me and there’s gonna be alcohol and boys to take your mind of things. ‘

God do I love Kenna. To be honest I don’t really have many friends and the ones I do think I’m a perfect little smart kid. Okay I’m not little I’m actually really tall. I really need to get out of my head. Seriously it’s a war in there.  I’m not normally a party person not that I get invited. My mom won’t be home into 10:30 tonight and I can always text her. I’m “trustworthy”

‘Sounds great, I would love to get trashed right now. Can you come pick me up?” I send.

‘Babe I’ve got to get ready, Max will come grab you. Wear a top that shows of your boobs, jeans and those boots with a heel you always wear. Xx’

Okay Kenna’s a bit interesting. I love her though. She sends her boyfriend Max on errands for her all the time. She’s got him wrapped around her well-manicured finger. I like Max to be honest and I’m not going to lie he’s hot. I really need to get ready now because knowing Max will be here soon. I don’t even know why I’m going to this party. But I am and I really should get dressed. I dash into my room and grab a black lace bra and boy shorts. Just in case anyone sees that, and this is a Tristan Daniels party so I should expect to see a few third base’s on the sofa. I reach for the dark denim jeans I was wearing earlier, there a size 0 and their starting to get a little tight. Damit. Alright now I need to find a top that shows of my boobs as Kenna requested. I decided on this navy black halter top with buttons down the front. Let’s just say it definitely does stuff for my tits. I always wear closed toed shoes not flip flops like the rest of the Florida population. I’m a bit of an anomaly. I’ve got dancers feet and no one has time to keep those pedicured, so closed toed wedge combat boots it is. Hair time. Oh dear lord, my hair. I guess I’ll have to go for the mused look with loose waves it is. My auburn/ dark brown hair falls In the middle of my chest. It never stays in place either but I’ve come to except that. Not bad. Makeup time. I need to look a touch older so I reach for a black kohl liner and smoke out my eyes. I’ve been blessed with thick lashes so I never need more than a little mascara. Powder I definitely need though. I hate being a teenager. And my pale skin never helps to hide anything. I fucking love whoever invented concealer to cover dark circles and spots. Okay done. I’m pretty, I’m not going to deny that adults tell me all the time. I’m just not “hot” as they call it. I look innocent although I don’t do bright colors or leave the house without makeup. To be honest most guys are afraid of me, I’ve got a personality. And no one really knows me. I’m jerked out of my often found reverie by the honk of Max’s Audi which I’m pretty sure would cost about half my house. My life is full of rich kids. Fuck me. I grab my purse check for me house key and toss mints into the bag. Max smiles when he sees me. He’s a flit and everyone knows that. But Kenna’s a slut to be honest but I love her for it. She gave me condoms for me 15th birthday for Christ sakes. I’m still a virgin don’t worry I’m not that fun. I’ve been close to the line before though, pretty much everything that doesn’t pop my cherry is okay with me. For some reason I want to save that for an actual boyfriend.

“Hey Lex you look good, tired but good” Max says

“Jeez thanks. We picking up Kenna?”

“Yeah. You might want to button your shirt if you don’t want to get oogeld all night” Max warns while peeking at my chest.

“Good advice, but I honestly could use the ego boost. Even if it’s subtle. I had a shit day.”

“I figured as much, you’re not much of a partier”

“That’s a point. Everyone knows it. Any advice for me?” I ask

“Always. Put a condom in your bra. I’m friends with Tristan’s friends and trust me they’ll like you’re beautiful and different.”

I don’t really have time to process what he says because he speeds up and jerks the car on to Kenna’s street. He really shouldn’t be allowed to drive a fast car.

“Fucking hell Max are you trying to kill me?” I chastised

“Loosen up Lex, and if you think my driving is wild don’t get into a car with Tristan. You know what his dad does for a living right?”  Max says with a mock scowl.

Everyone knows who Tristan is his dad is a sodding racing legend. But I have known him for ages not that anyone knows that. I met him on vacation once and he happened to be my first kiss, not that he knew that. He’s two years older than me. I didn’t even know who he was at the time and I never even thought I’d see him again let alone be going to the same school as him. But there I go getting a scholarship to a fancy private school. The week Tristan and I spent together three years ago was one of the best times of my life. It was just two teenagers that liked each other and were surrounded by adults. We got to know each other, but when the week was over we just parted ways. I never expected to see him again. So imagine my surprise when I find out he goes to the same school as me. I knew he lived in Florida, but it’s a big state. We never really talked, and I avoided his parties. I don’t even know why the hell I’m going to one now. I don’t think he would even remember me, our school is huge so we never really see each other. We run in different groups anyway. I remember him though. You kinda remember your first makeout/ first kiss even if you are a tad tipsy. I always wondered why he liked me. He’s hot and when I say hot I mean smoking hot. He’s got piercing blue eyes and the softest blond hair, and he’s actually taller than me.

“Yeah course I do. And sorry you know I can’t help but be a tad responsible, I’ll need some more tequila before I get to the fun me.” I squeak

I always seem to be fun when I need to get out of my head which is usually after I see my dad. Max’s and my conversation is cut short by Kenna’s signature squeal as she hops into the back seat.  Kenna's wearing black shorts, a red lace tank and matching wedges. Her long blond hair flows down her back. I've always been envious of it.

“Hey babes. Omg Lexus nice choice on the shirt. I approve”

Then Kenna reaches across and starts French kissing with Max. Thanks Kenna this isn’t awkward at all. I started laughing.

“Kay sorry Lex, but how can I see him and not want to maul him” she says with a wink.

“I need a drink.” I say

“I’m on it. Drive Max”

“Hold on”

Ten minutes later we started to pull into Tristan’s driveway. He lives on the beach and to say he lives in a mansion is an understatement.

“You ready babe?” Kenna asks

“Let’s do this” I unfold myself from the car as Kenna started dragging me inside the house, letting Max follow behind.

Oh. My. God.

This is definitely a party. I can feel the bass of the music and people are making out everywhere, just as I expected.  The hot blond with his back facing the door turns around, and that is not just the hot blond it’s Tristan. Oh fuck I can’t breathe.

“That your date Kenna?” Tristan asks

Damn his voice is sexier than I remember.

“Oh yeah isn’t she hot” Kenna says as she pulls me in for a kiss.

Before you get all crazy thinking I like girls, I don’t for your information but Its Kenna’s MO and I know guys think it’s hot, so I kiss her back. This is one of the reasons I love Kenna she’s almost as crazy as me. And Tristan sort of gave her the perfect opportunity. As we pull apart I see Tristan’s wide eyed stare as well as Max with a smirk.

“Well hot damn, who is this?” Tristan demands

“My names Lexus.” I say in the sexiest voice I can manage. For a second I think I can see a speck of recognition flash across his eyes. Of course he wouldn’t remember me with the number of girls he fucks on a daily basis I wouldn’t expect him to.

“Welcome to my house Lexus, have fun” he smirks

“Come on babe” Kenna grabs my hand and drags me to the bar.

Okay there’s a wet bar in the middle of his house. Jesus Christ.

“You realize you just ditched Max right?” I ask

“Nah I didn’t ditch him, he and Tristan will just spend the next twenty minutes talking about how hot we are”

“This is why I love you” I chuckle

“Love you too. Pick your poison.” she gestures to the bottles of alcohol

I grab grey goose and pour it into my glass along with some cranberry juice. I usually stay away from sugary drinks and beer. I’ve got food allergies and personally just prefer the hard liquor.

“Nice choice” Kenna says as she makes her own drink.

“I need it, and a few more” I whisper

I toss back my drink.

“Well then. Let’s go dance before you get too trashed” she chuckles

I look around the room and see half-dressed people dancing on table and doing body shots. Oh fuck me I’m out of my league. Kenna pulls me to wear people are dancing and starts moving her hips all sexy. Oh god. How am I supposed to act all sexy? Oh dear god. Okay Lexus you can do this. I look up and see Kenna dancing with Max and she gives me an encouraging smile. I’ve got the hang of this. It’s not exactly classical ballet, but I can move my hips. I like this. Tristan’s friend Colton walks up behind me and starts dancing with me. Why the heck is he dancing with me? Then I feel something vibrate against my hip. Oh shit my phone.

 I turn around and look up at Colton and apologize with my eyes. I walk over to the bar. It’s quieter over there. I pull out my phone. Ugh it’s not even a phone call it’s a text from guess who? My dad.

‘I’m disappointed in your behavior today. Has your mum been telling you bad things about me again? We need to have a word about this’

Damit. Breathe Lexus. It will be okay. No it’s not. Who am I kidding? I grab the bottle of vodka off of the bar table, and push through the crowd to get outside. Any word from my dad and I feel like my throat is going to close up. I run down the steps at the back of the house to get to the beach. Okay I can breathe now. Inhale. Exhale. Oh fuck. Don’t cry. No.No.No. I pop the top on the bottle and chug it back. Ewww that tastes like nail polish remover. Note to self don’t drink vodka straight. Okay that’s a bit better now. Oh god why is it so hot. I need to move to Antarctica. I think I’m tipsy. Whoopsies. Tipsy Lexus is interesting let’s see how this night goes. I shrug off my top, leaving me in my tight vest and bra. Ah that’s better I can breathe. I start when I feel a cold hand on my shoulder. I turn around and standing in all his glory is Tristan. This is definitely not helping with my breathing.

“You alright?” Tristan asks in a voice that sends heat pooling in my lower belly.


I shake my head and say “Yeah I’m fine”

“Which is it?”

I look at him puzzled

“I asked if you were okay and you shook your head no but said your fine”

“Um yeah sorry. I’m fine”

“Did Colton try something?”

He was watching me? Me?

“Uh no that’s not it.’

“You’re shivering, are you’re sure you’re alright” he asks rubbing my shoulders

“Yeah I’m fine I’m hot actually it’s got to be a hundred degrees out here.”

My phone buzzes against my hip again, and I pick it up to see it’s my dad. Again.

“Fucking Hell” I curse

Tristan looks at me puzzled with his eyebrows raised in question.

“Oh sorry nothing” I say as I toss my phone onto the sand next to my top and take another swig of the vodka. Burning. Ahh that feels nice.

“Mind if I have some of that?” he asks.

“Oh yeah sure, sorry it’s yours anyways. Um here” Lexus stop rambling now. Shut your trap.

“Sit” Tristan pats the sand

So I do.

“What happened to your shirt?” He asks

“I got hot”

“Yeah I can see that” He looks at my chest

I blush and nod.

“So what had you running out here like a bat out of hell?” he asks.

“Um just my phone” I squeak

“Yeah sure my phone scares the hell out of me to sometimes” he mocks sincerity

“It was nothing. I just need to get out of my head” I say as I reach for the bottle of vodka and toss some back.

I shiver as it goes down. I’m definitely tipsy now and on my way to trashed.

He looks up at me and my breath catches in my throat. He leans in a kisses me. It’s tentative, but then I start to kiss him back. I open my mouth and he slips his tongue inside. I reach around and grab his hair and press him to me. He moves and nips at my shoulder and neck. I shiver. He lays me onto the beach and he’s now on top of me kissing my neck. Oh. My. God. Why is he kissing me of all people? I pull him back to my mouth. God can he kiss. He moves his hand up under my tank and caresses my ribcage.  I moan into his mouth. He pulls back. Oh crap what did I do?  He stares at me with this look that sends warmth down to my bones.

“Come on” he says as he drags me toward the water.

I give him a questioning look.

“Swimming” he smirks.

Oh what the hell. I unzip my shoes, pull my shirt over my head. He looks at me with his ice blue eyes. I realize he’s shirtless now and our clothes are on a pile on the sand. God he’s hot. My eyes roam his perfectly formed abs and tanned skin. He’s got a few tattoos but they only make him hotter. I realize I’m so pale and feel a twinge of self-consciousness. Which is toned down from the alcohol. He looks at my jeans with a raised eyebrow. Oh shit. If I take them off he’ll see my cuts.  Improvise Lexus. Okay I can do this.

“I’m not wearing any panties.” I say with a chuckle as I put my feet in the water.

I think I hear him mutter a “Fuck”

I start to swim out into the water when he grabs me and I wrap my legs around his waist. I’m atoning my graceful and mildly sexy moves to the vodka.

“Hi” he says.

“Hi” I echo

He reaches and tucks my hair behind my ear. It’s always falling in my face.

“You’re beautiful” he compliments

I laugh. “You must be drunk”

He gives me a pained look. “I’m going to beat up whoever made you feel this way about yourself”

“You don’t even know me” I sigh

“You don’t think I remember you?”

“Um. It was a long time ago. I’m not that special.” I look down

He actually recognizes me?

“Lexus look at me” He tilts my chin up “You’re beautiful. I knew something was familiar the second you walked into my house.”

“We only spent a week together, and I honestly never thought I’d see you again” I smile

“I’m glad you came Lex.”

He leans in to kiss me again. I’m surprised he can still hold me up like this. He bits my lower lip, and caresses my tongue. He grabs my hips and pulls me tighter. I whimper in pain. Oh fuck, my cuts. Bad idea Lexus. Tristan notices and pulls back.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, no I’m fine it was nothing”

I grab his hair and pull him to my mouth.

 We’re interrupted by Kenna’s chirpy voice.

“Um. HELLO. Lexus.”

I look up embarrassed, and Kenna and Max are standing on the beach.

“Oh um hi” I squeak

 “We have been looking for you for ages. You disappeared!” Kenna scolds

“She’s fine, don’t worry” Tristan says

“Yeah we can see that” Max chuckles as he looks to our pile of clothes

I blush.

“Let’s go inside and dry off” Tristan says.

I unlock my legs from him and wade to shore. I grab my clothes and boots. Tristan drags me through the house. I get my fair share of looks but what did I expect I’m soaked and with the infamous Tristan.

“Come on” Tristan leads me upstairs.

“Where are we going?” I ask

“To get you dried off, I don’t care how hot it is outside you’ll get the chills”

He drags me into the second door on the left. My breath catches. This is a bedroom. Dear god. This does not look like an 18 year old guy’s room. I look around and see a massive king sized bed with black silk sheets. It’s perfectly made up.

“Uh this is my bedroom, there’s an en suite bathroom through that door”

Oh. My. God. I’m in Tristan Daniels bedroom. I’m just me.

“Oh okay thanks.”

He grabs a towel and strips off his remaining clothes. I stand there gawking like an idiot. Really Lexus.

“See something you like?” he smirks.

I blush, and look down to the floor. He walks over and tilts my chin up.

“You can look and touch all you want” he says

He presses a hand over my heart.

“Breathe Lexus. I don’t bite, unless you want me to of course”

I look into his eyes. They look so complicated and I can just get lost in them, just like two years ago. I had gone to see a race with my family in London. You can put the rest together, but his father was one of the race car drivers. I’ll tell the rest of that story later, don’t worry.

He grabs me and pulls me toward him and covers his mouth with mine. Oh god I can’t believe I’m doing this. I run my hands over his back and pull him closer towards me. I trace the tattoos that cover his ribcage and back. They are the most intricately done vines I’ve ever seen. I distantly wonder what they mean. He then backs me up against his bureau. He slips his hand under my shirt and pulls it over my head. Why did I even bother putting it back on in the first place? He grabs my ass and lifts me onto his bureau. I moan into his mouth, and he chuckles. I can feel it vibrate throughout my body. I shiver. He reaches behind my back and unclips my bra with one hand. I’m glad I wore my pretty one. He steps back and drinks me in with his eyes. I feel nervous and self-conscious. I have a compelling urge to cover myself, but I just cross my arms in front of me. He grabs my wrist to uncover me.

“Don’t cover yourself Lex. You’re perfect.”

He reaches to the door and flicks the deadbolt. Oh god. What am I doing? I don’t even know but it feels really good. He looks into my eyes, and brings his mouth to mine. He slips his tongue around mine, and I kiss him back. He pulls away and kisses my shoulder and clavicle. He brings his hand up and caresses my full breast. I always have liked them there a full C cup. I drop my head against the wall and he moves his mouth down and slightly sucks against my pebbled nipple. Oh my god this feels amazing.

“Tristan” I moan

He chuckles again. The bastard.

His hand moves down to my jeans and snaps open the button. He grabs my ass and pulls me towards him. I can feel him and god does it feel good. He slides me to stand on my feet and starts to pull down my jeans. Oh fuck. He can’t do that he’ll see them, god he’ll run away then. Won’t he? I have to stop him. I catch his hand.

“Trust me. I won’t hurt you.” He brings his mouth to my breast again.

Any rational thought I had has just ran outside the door. He drops to his knees and kisses my hip bone and starts to work my jeans down.

“Tristan, I’m fucked up” I manage

“You and I both baby”

I know what he’s going to see but I can’t seem to stop him. I wince as me jeans slid over my thighs and I hear his breath catch. I know he’s seen them. He doesn’t stop though he just pulls them off my legs and tosses them to the floor.

“You said you weren’t wearing panties. Liar” He chuckles

Has he not seem them? Does he not care? Oh god. He kisses my hip bone and the outside of my upper thigh. He has to have seen them now. There not deep but there is a lot of them. Why didn’t he recoil?

“Who did this to you Lexus?” He coos

I look to the ground, and close my eyes. Inhale. Exhale. I can do this.

“Oh baby I’m so sorry” he says

He stands up and crushes his mouth against mine. He doesn’t hate me? He still likes me? Is he drunk or something? Why is he still kissing me?

I push against his chest. He stares me down with his ice blue eyes.

“You don’t hate me?” I ask

“Why would I hate you Lex?”

“You saw them. I like pain. That doesn’t make you hate me? You never even talk to me at school. Why would you want me now?” I stammer

“Oh no. I just didn’t think you’d want to see me. I don’t deserve you. I don’t hate you for them baby, I just wish you didn’t have to or want to.”

“I’m so sorry” I say

He stands up and grasps my hand and tugs me toward the bathroom.

“Wait why did you stop? You don’t want me anymore?” I blame my candor to the amount of alcohol and hormones 

“Oh god no. You’re perfect. But I’m not going to take advantage of you, you’re drunk and upset”

“But didn’t you want me earlier? Oh god I’m sorry. “

“Look at me. You’re hurting, I’m not going to do something you’ll regret.”

“Oh great I’m breakable now” I say with a sigh.

He shoves me against the wall. Oh. My

“You’re not breakable, I don’t think you are. I’m just not going to fuck you like this. Okay?”

Why hello Mr. Dominant. When did he get this way? I stupidly nod my head.

“Now come on Lex. People are going to wonder where we are and the last thing I want is you having to deal with the questions.” He says

“Yeah. Um okay. My jeans are wet.”

“Obviously. I think there’s a hair drier in my bathroom somewhere. Id offer you something of mine to wear but I have a feeling that’s going to draw more attention to you, than a pair of damp jeans.”

“I uh. Yeah. Thanks. “I stutter

He directs me into the bathroom. There is a huge black marble vanity, and massive stone shower with multiple heads.

“You can rinse off if you want” He says

Then and only then do I realize that I’m topless and only in my lace panties. I wrap my arms around my chest.

“Hey don’t get shy on me now” he chastised

I blush. I step into the shower grab one of the shower heads direct it to my legs and turn it on. I rinse off everything that the salt water touched, and step back out of the shower. Tristan looks me up and down, and passes me a towel.

“Um. Thanks” I stammer

“Mhmm. Here there dry” he passes me my jeans

I wrap the towel around me and pull my panties down my hips, and hand them to him. I’m atoning that sexy move to the fact that I’m tipsy. His jaw drops open.

“Damn” he smirks

I wriggle into my jeans and drop the towel. He hands me my bra and shirt. I take a peek into the mirror.

“Oh crap” I gasp

“What?” Tristan asks

“I look awful”


He grabs my newly covered ass and lifts me onto the vanity, and tilts my chin up so my eyes meet his.  He kisses my nose.

“You. Are. Beautiful.”

I smile.

“You do realize your mine now right?” He asks

“ Wh- what?” I stammer

“You. Are. Mine. As. In. My. Girlfriend.” He punctuates each word with a kiss.

“I thought you didn’t do relationships” I inquire

Tristan Daniels doesn’t do relationships everyone knows that. He does quick but wild fucks with every attractive girl he sees. But he doesn’t do relationships.

“I do now” he replies

“But. But. Why would you want me, you didn’t want me before?”

“Lexus. You were 14 in London, and I didn’t want to ruin your reputation at school. But I can’t stay away from you. And we really need to work on your self-esteem. You’re amazing. ”

I blush

“I was a two months away from being 15 for your information. And I don’t want you to stay away either.” I say with a smile

“You say that now, but my life is crazy.”

“So am I.” I pull him in for a kiss

“Let’s go back to the party, and start letting everyone know your mine. Assuming you want that. ” He says

“I do. But be warned I’m fucked up. Just letting you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“You and me both baby” he whispers.

Walking down the stairs back to the party was like walking down the aisle. Everyone was staring at me. Goddam they all think I was fucking Tristan upstairs. I don’t even have time to process because Tristan grabs my ass and pulls me into a kiss. I don’t kiss him back at first feeling shy in front of everyone. But tipsy courageous Lexus comes out and pulls him closer to me. I caress his tongue with mine and bite his bottom lip as I pull back. If anyone didn’t know that something was going on between us, they sure as hell do now. Oh god I’m in over my head. I came here thinking I was just going to drink myself into oblivion and now I’m dating Tristan Daniels. I didn’t think he would remember me let alone want me. I look up to him like a dear in headlights. I idly wonder what time it is. Oh shit where my phone is.

“Um. Do you know what I did with my phone?” I say as I pat my pockets.

“Yeah it’s still in my bedroom, you can get it later” he says as he drags me toward the sofa.

Kenna trots over dragging Max along “Hey babe. What’s up? Oh my god I love this song. Oo dance with me. “

“Sorry about her she’s totally trashed” Max says

“Obviously “I chuckle

“So are you two like doing it now? I’ve been trying to get Lex to loosen up for like ever and I mean you’re hot and from what I’ve heard are great in bed so you’re like perfect..” Kenna rambles to Tristan

I jump out of my seat and cup my hand against Kenna’s mouth. I swear my face is on fire.

“Uh um, sorry about her” I stutter to Tristan

He cracks up in laughter. Sexy laughter that makes heat pool in my belly.

“I can see why you love her, but I’m not going to have to share her with you right?” he asks

“Nah she’s mine “Max pipes up

“ Mhm. I’m anyone’s who wants me. Lexus. Dance. With. Me” Kenna stammers.

She pulls me onto the dance floor, and starts moving to Jason Derulo’s Talk Dirty. I swear Kenna makes every move sexy. My classical Ballet training doesn’t exactly teach me how to move my ass. But it does make me lithe and flexible, which comes in handy fairly often. I take a peek at Tristan who is now chatting to Max. Out of the corner of my eye I see a blond from my Trig class snorting coke off of a knife. I’m not a prude but drugs bug me. I try to steer Kenna away from parties where that drugs are a part of. She had a problem in her sophomore year. We don’t talk about it, but I keep an eye out for her. Maybe it’s the nerd it me, I’m not even sure. I’m jolted out of my contemplation by Tristan’s hand on my shoulder pulling my back to his chest. He can dance, and I mean really dance. Thank god because I have no idea how to dance this way. I feel like we shouldn’t be doing this in front of people because that’s how sexual this feels. I feel that familiar tug in my lower belly. Oh god I want him. I honestly don’t usually want anyone so much. I mean I’m a teenager I have needs but this is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. 

“You need to stop moving your hips like that Lexus” Tristan grates out

I turn around and face him.

“Oh I’m sorry I’m not very good at this dancing thingy”

“No that’s not the problem you’re too good”

I raise my eyebrows in question

“If you don’t stop moving your hips like that I’m going to push you up against the nearest wall and fuck you till you scream” he says

My breath hitches in the throat. Oh. My.

“I thought you didn’t want to do that while I was inebriated” I say with a smirk

“I didn’t, but I don’t seem to have much self-control around you”

“I like you that way”

“Oh fucking hell” he mutters

I’m once again being dragged up the stairs to his bedroom and Kenna and Max send me off with a knowing smile. I stumble up the stairs, and Tristan pushes me through the door and tosses me on his bed. God I want him. He runs his fingers down the side of my torso.

“Tristan” I cry

“Shh I’ll make it better” he coos

It’s like he just knows that I want him so much it hurts. This all happened in one night. Dear god. He pushes my shirt up my stomach and I sit up to pull it over my head. Weren’t we just here like twenty minutes ago? He reaches behind my back and unclips my bra. I brush the straps down my shoulders. I grab fistfuls of his shirt and pull him to my mouth. He pulls away to toss off his shirt. He is so way out of my league. He gazes my unclothed chest and smirks. I can’t help but chuckle nervously. My thoughts are instantly hindered by is mouth traveling down to my breasts. He caresses every inch of my torso. I have no clue what I’m doing when I reach for his belt buckle.

“ Nonono. Naughty Lexus” He mock scolds.

Okay I’m confused here isn’t he the one that has me on his bed? I look down in rejection. He tilts my chin up.

“You’re still inebriated as I recall you saying, I’m keeping my word when I said I wasn’t going to fuck you but I never said anything about making you come.”

Oh. Fucking. My.

I have lost the ability to speak.

His hand skims down to my hip bone and pops my jean button. He painstakingly pulls down the zipper. He slips his hand underneath my panties. I hear him make a husky growl of some sorts, when he finds me wet. He brushes his thumb across the thin strip of hair on my mound.

“Please Tristan” I beg

He slips his hand between my folds, and rubs against my swollen nub. I toss my head back in ecstasy and moan.  Dear God does he know what he’s doing with his hand.

“ Ahh god” I moan

He presses a finger inside me, and continues his torture against my clit.

“Oh fuck. Don’t stop” I cry

He applies more pressure with his thumb and circles it.

“Ohmygod.” I moan as my muscles start to contract.

“That’s it baby come for me, come against my hand”

That sends me over the edge. I come screaming his name. I’ve had an orgasm before but that was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I’m not exaggerating. When I come back from my intense climax, I notice Tristan’s hand is still against me coaxing me through the last ripples of my orgasm. He sighs and pulls his fingers out of me. He slips his finger into his mouth and it take me a second to realize which finger it is. The finger.

“ Mhmm. Sweet” he says

I cover my eyes with my hand.

“Dear god. That was. Um. Thanks” I stammer

“Course. Lex?”


“You’re a virgin?” he asks/states

Oh shit. I’ve been fingered before but the guy couldn’t tell I was a virgin. At least I didn’t think he could. I’ve never really had a boyfriend but I’ve had some sexual experiences. What Tristan just brought me to was nothing like the last time someone fingered me, and nothing at all like getting myself off. Great he probably won’t want me now that he knows I’m a virgin. Another thing to add to my list of imperfections.

“Uh yeah.” I say with my eyes down

“Has someone done that to you before?”

Crap more personal questions. Maybe that’s what relationships are all about. I’m not sure.

“Yeah, I’m not a complete innocent”

“I see that” he says with a chuckle

“ Mhmm” I’m having trouble forming coherent sentences

“Did I scare you off earlier when I made that comment about fucking?” he asks nervously

Oh my god. He’s nervous. This is so cute.

“Nah. You just turned me on.” I say

He laughs. This is good.

“Was that okay?” he gestures to my unbuttoned jeans.

“Are you seriously asking me that? Did you not hear my begs and cries? If that’s what an orgasm is supposed to feel like I’m keeping you in bed for the next month.” I say with a smile

I really should learn to shut my trap though. Really Lexus, was that necessary?

“Well your welcome then.” He says

Okay what am I supposed to do now. Am I supposed to get him off? How do I do that properly? I’m usually just a tease.

He leans into kiss me. Oh god I can taste myself on his lips. Okay Lexus be sexy. You can do this. I use my upper strength to push him done on the bed and straddle him. We both have our bottom half’s clothed save my zipper and jean button. I grind my hips against his and kiss his shoulder blade and idly trace his tattoos. I grab his hair and move his mouth to mine. I take control of the kiss, caressing his tongue with mine. I can do this, he won’t be happy with someone that doesn’t know what she’s doing. So I can pretend I know what I’m doing like I do with the rest of my life. I reach for his belt buckle. He grabs my wrists and before I know it I’m underneath him.

“You don’t have to do that Lexus “he smiles

“I know I’m just trying to make you happy” fuck being tipsy I’m always to honest.

“You make me happy, not what you can do for me” he says

I don’t have time to process what he says because my phone goes off on his drawer set. I curse as I jump out of bed to grab it. Okay its only 9:30 good I’m not past curfew. My heart skips when I see my dad’s calling, and that I have six missed calls. If I don’t answer it will just make things worse. I shoot Tristan an apologetic look and put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I say

“Lexus. I’m disappointed in you. Do I need to have a word with your mum?”

His English accent makes my stomach turn. He’s so goddamn condescending. I put on my sweet voice.

Sorry daddy. I’ll be more honest with you in the future. No need to speak to mum.”

My accent coming back out makes me sick. I hate anything that has to do with him. I hear his sigh on the other end of the line. I know I can tell there’s a lecture coming on.

“ Umm dad I would love to talk, but Kenna is waiting for me. We are studying for our history test on Monday we have got finals. Talk to you later”

I press end call and throw my phone to the floor. Good thing I have a good case.

“Fuck” I mutter as I run my hands over my face

Tristan looks up at me with his deep confused blue eyed stare. I could easily get lost in him.

“You okay?” he tentatively asks.

“Yeah sorry just part of my fucked up existence”

“I’m sorry baby. It’s not your fault.”

“I know if just feels that way. God I’m so fucking sorry this shouldn’t be your problem”

“I’m here, I can’t believe I didn’t make you mine sooner. “  He sighs

I don’t even know what to say so I just look at him through my hazel eyes.

“You know for such a pretty girl you shouldn’t swear so much” he mock scolds

I’m happy for the change of subject.

“Well I can be dirty sometimes” I say with a smirk.

“You want to hide up here for the rest of the night?” he asks

“Hell yes” I chuckle.













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