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I was a nervous wreck when I got myself ready to go out with Richard last night. I didn’t want to overdress so I just wore my figure-hugging blue silk dress and didn’t go overboard with my makeup. For years I’ve dined with men to discuss what they wanted from me and never once was I nervous. It was just a job to me, but this was different. I know it wasn’t a date, but I couldn’t believe I was going out for dinner like normal people do.

So, last night Richard picked me up on time at seven pm. He took me to his favorite Italian restaurant for our meal. I love Italian food. I was impressed with his taste in wine, it was the best I’ve ever tasted. I could’ve drunk the whole bottle, but I didn’t. I knew I’d start getting naughty if I did. I wanted to be on my best behavior. 

Richard was a totally different man last night. He was so relaxed. We talked about all sorts of things. Our childhood, our parents, and favorite subjects at school. When he began to tell me about his time at university, I thought it was going to be boring. But I was wrong. I can’t remember the last time I’d laughed so much when he told me his embarrassing drunk moments at the parties he’d been to on campus.

When it was time to leave, I began to feel a little nervous. I didn’t know how the night was going to end. Men only take me out for meals to tell me their desires and what they would like me to do for them, but this was a totally different situation I was in. I didn’t understand why Richard was being so nice to me.

What did he want from me?”

Apparently, nothing.

He pulled up outside my house and left his car engine running. We just talked for a few minutes. I thanked him for the meal. His gorgeous green eyes gazed at me as he thanked me and told me he’d enjoyed the evening.

I thanked him again and stepped out of his car. My heart raced as I walked towards my front door. I couldn’t stop smiling. He waited until I was safely inside my house before he drove away.

Was I disappointed that he didn’t try anything on with me?

No, I wasn’t. It made me feel good.

…………………………………

It’s been a week since I last saw Richard and I haven’t worked. Richard has still got my work mobile. I will admit I was bored out of my mind until I came across a tv series called Lost. Between binge-watching Lost and shopping I haven’t done anything else.

As I walked towards Richard’s office, I could see him leaning against the wall, gazing out of the window with his hands in his pockets.

I suddenly felt nervous. I took a deep breath to control my nerves. “Are you looking for me?” I confidently asked.

Richard jumped a little and spun around. “Where have you come from?” He asked with a smile as he walked towards his desk.

“I parked around the back today. It’s the only place I could find. So, were you looking for me?” I laughed as I sat opposite him. My dress rode up my legs as I crossed them.

“I was just getting some fresh air.” He said as he sat down at his desk while taking a good look at my legs.

I’ve noticed a few times him looking at them from the corner of his eye. I think he’s a leg man. I never catch him looking at my boobs.

We stared at each other for a while in silence. He opened the folder in front of him, then looked across the desk at me.

“I guess you’re going to be Mr. Professional now, aren’t you?” I laughed.

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Ok,” I sighed. “Let’s get this over and done with.”

Richard cleared his throat and smiled a little before he looked at his notes.

“Right Jessica, we have spoken about your submissive roles a few times, but you have also stated that you like being dominant too. I know that you enjoy the submissive roles but how do you feel when you are playing the dominant role. Do you let any of your personal emotions out, like anger or frustration?”

I stared at Richard not knowing what to say. My heart thudded in my chest. Something dawned on me. I’ve been telling the man I’m falling in love with, about my life as a whore. I felt myself falter a little and closed my eyes. I felt sick. What does he really think about me when our sessions are over?

“Jessica, are you alright?” Richard quietly asked.

I opened my eyes. “Yes.” I forced a smile. I had promised Richard I would tell him everything. I took a deep breath. “There was a client I used to see. All he wanted to do was lie on my sofa with his head on my knees and talk while I stroked his hair. There was no sex involved. He just wanted someone to talk to. He would talk about his business struggles, but it was mainly about his wife. When he and his wife had sex, it was just vanilla; she wouldn’t even let him go down on her. He did tell me he had a fantasy. I asked him what it was, but he was embarrassed to tell me.”

“Didn’t that worry you?” Richard curiously asked.

“No,” I shrugged feeling lower by the second. I looked towards the window as I continued to talk. “I never instigate a client session. They have to approach me with what they want. It took him a month to pluck up the courage to tell me. After he told me, we discussed everything that he would like to happen. I was quite surprised. He was such a quiet gentleman. It just goes to show you never know what’s going on in people’s minds.” I awkwardly shuffled in my seat trying to make myself comfortable. “On the night of our session, he texted me five minutes before he arrived. I unlatched the door so he could walk straight in then stayed in the kitchen so he couldn’t see me. He went straight to the bathroom and had a shower. He then went into the bedroom and lay naked on the bed to cool down.

Dressed in a black negligée and black heels. I sneaked into the bedroom. He was pretending to be asleep. I raised his arms above his head and cuffed him to the bed then slapped him hard across the face. Before he could react, I pushed a ball gag into his mouth. I tied his legs to the bottom of the bed so he couldn’t move.

I told him, if he was a good boy and did as he was told, he could eat my pussy. He nodded. I took a riding crop out of the cupboard and smacked him on his balls with it. He bucked his body with the sting of it.”

 

Richard raised his hand to stop me talking. “How did you feel when you had that control over him and what was going through your mind at the time?”

“It made me feel powerful.” I choked a little laugh. “And I don’t know what was going through my mind at that moment.”

“Ok.” He sighed. “Continue.”

I stared at Richard. I don’t understand why he wants to know what goes through my mind when I’m with a client. I honestly don’t remember. I took a deep breath and carried on. “Anyway, I whipped him several times on the balls. He squirmed around on the bed groaning. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I didn’t think it would happen, but his dick started to go hard. When his cock was rock hard, I told him he wasn’t allowed to cum as I whipped it on the tip. Tears streamed down the sides of his face as he nodded. I took the ball gag out and uncuffed him. I yanked him up and tied a collar around his neck. I clipped on a leash and ordered him to get on his hands and knees. I walked him around the apartment whipping his ass with the crop to keep him under control while his dinner was warming up in the microwave. When it.”

“You made him dinner?” Richard asked. He looked confused.

“Yes.” I nodded. “It was his favorite dish, spaghetti bolognese.”

Richard closed his eyes for a few seconds. I wondered if this was getting too much for him. I wanted him to tell me that he didn’t want to hear anymore, but he didn’t. He opened his eyes and looked at me. My heart sunk when he told me to continue. I looked down at the floor. I realize I’ve got it wrong; he isn’t interested in me. But I’m right about one thing and that’s he just wants to hear my stories. If that’s what he wants, then he can have them.

“I made him kneel on the floor while I sat at the table eating his food. Every now and again I’d drop some on the floor and tell him to eat it. He’d eat it like a dog while I placed my foot on his head and whip him with the crop until he licked the floor clean.

He’d paid for two hours, so when there were about fifteen minutes left. I sat on the sofa with my legs open. He kneeled on the floor in front of me begging like a dog with a throbbing hard-on. He knew he had to pleasure me first before he could cum. When I gave him permission, he grabbed my hips and pulled me to the edge of the sofa and plowed his tongue deep inside me. I bucked against his face moaning and gasping with pleasure. My core was on fire as I gripped onto his hair pulling his face into me, demanding he made me cum. His tongue swirled inside my soaking wet hole. My body tensed as my orgasm exploded through my body. I crushed his head between my thighs as he lapped my juice like a dog. When I was satisfied, I told him he was allowed to cum. His body began to jerk. He let out one almighty groan as he blew his load over the floor.”

I stopped talking. I’d barely looked at Richard when I was talking. I felt like I was going to cry and didn’t know why.

“So, you didn’t have sex with the client then?”

“No.” I shook my head. “He just wanted me to humiliate him. He wanted to give me oral because he’d never done it before.”

“Did you see him again after?”

“No, but do you know what?” I half-smiled. “I saw him one afternoon while I was shopping, and he thanked me.”

“For what?” Richard curiously asked.

“He told me after the evening he spent with me, he didn’t fantasize about being humiliated anymore. He told me he began to fantasize about taking control of his vanilla wife in the bedroom. And after tasting my pussy he wanted his wife’s. One night he plucked up the courage and took control of her and she loved it. Their sex life has improved, and they are getting a little bit naughtier with each other. Now it’s her knees he rests his head on and tells all his business worries to.”

“And how did that make you feel?” Richard asked.

“I was genuinely happy for him but for a split second I felt a little bit jealous,” I answered.

Richard leaned forward against his desk. “Of what?” He asked

“That he’d got someone to go home to at night and talk to; and I hadn’t got that.”

“Do you still feel that way?”

I could feel my heart sinking inside. “No.” I lied. “I only felt like that for a split second.”

“Jessica,” Richard sighed. I could see he knew I was lying. “You know you can talk to me anytime. You have my number.”

My heart thudded in my chest as I gazed at Richard. The gorgeous, funny, charming, professional gentleman who has everything going for him. I want someone who I can cuddle up to at night and talk about my troubles. I’ll never have that with him. “Talking on the phone isn’t what I’m looking for,” I said as I stood up to leave.

Richard glanced at his watch. “You don’t have to go yet; we’ve still got some time left.”

“I don’t feel too good; I need to go home,” I mumbled.

“Oh right.” He said as he scratched his head.

I’m not sure, but I think he looked disappointed that I was leaving early. I guess it was my imagination. “I’ll see you next week.” I lied as I forced a smile. I’d made up my mind to never return.

“Jessica,” Richard called as I walked towards the door.

“Yes?” I said turning to face him.

“I found out this morning there’s been a cancellation at the unit. We will be leaving 9am Friday. I’ll phone you later to discuss the details, ok.”

I nodded and walked out.

 

When I arrived home, I lay on my bed and sobbed like a baby. I never think about the things I’ve done with clients. When it’s over, it’s over. I forget about it and move on. But just lately I’m having to remember the things I’ve done, then talk about it.

When I first met Richard, I enjoyed teasing him with my stories. I wanted him to fuck me. But it’s different now. I want more from him. I know that will never happen and that’s why I’m not going back to therapy. It’s wearing me down.

I feel dirty.


Submitted: July 13, 2020

© Copyright 2022 Kitty Hall. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Dick Wood

I wonder if Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung had similar therapy sessions with their patients?

Mon, July 13th, 2020 3:03pm

Author
Reply

They might have done lol. :)

Mon, July 13th, 2020 11:14am

Trixie

Evaluation of ones decisions in life can be very painful especially for some one who has never done this before. Even if she falls for the therapist and it’s not returned she could gain a lot from trying to figure out why she avoids emotional attachment. Great chapter. I wonder what Richard was thinking when he closed his eyes.

Mon, July 13th, 2020 6:54pm

Author
Reply

Thank you. Jessica has never sat back and thought about the things she does until now and she's realized she doesn't want to be like that anymore. You'll find out what Richard was thinking when he closed his eyes in the next chapter. :)

Mon, July 13th, 2020 12:58pm

K Knowles

I feel sad for Jessica I hope she does go back to talk to Richard

Wed, July 15th, 2020 4:33pm

Author
Reply

She will see Richard again. :)

Wed, July 15th, 2020 1:57pm

DampKitten

I love this transformation that you have orchestrated with Jessica. Phycologists would say that she is 'doing work'. This is the pain of introspect and self analysis. It's painful for Jessica because, as she admitted to herself, she's never done it. She never looks back. She never analyzes what she has done or why. She leaves it behind. Now, Richard is asking her to dig it up. That's what psychologists do.

There's a difference between Jessica's original efforts at recalling her 'encounters' and her present efforts. Originally, those stories were an attempt to disarm and seduce Richard. They were an 'advertisement'....a "See what I can do for you" billboard. It was an attempt at control and domination which Richard managed to avoid.

Jess admits that she likes control. She likes the dominant role. She likes cuffing a guy to the bed and whacking his willy with a riding crop. And we have to recognize that even when Jess was playing the submissive, she was still enthralled by causing a reaction. Though she may have been potentially in danger, she reveled in the fact that she had a man's attention and he was paying her for it. That's a form of control.

Richard is slowly getting her to recognize things that she wants which she has denied to herself, namely a normal life and a normal relationship. No doubt, Jessica's reasoning for avoiding these things is fear. In a normal relationship, we hand over control...sometimes all of it. But we at least agree to sharing. More importantly, we agree to trusting and dependence. These are things Jessica fears.

So, it's hugely important to point out how Jess feels as she heads to her house after her date. She's invigorated. For once, somebody spent time with her for who she is and not for what she can provide. She's not a piece of meat. She's a person. Richard wanted to show that to her. It surprises Jess that she feels that way...that she's elated to have not solicited a physical approach from Richard. It doesn't surprise your reader at all that she's happy. Your reader understands Jessica better than she understands herself, and that's a literary accomplishment when you consider that you are writing from her perspective and not 3rd person omniscient.

We do forget for a moment that Richard is not as subjective as he pretends. He has feelings. He's successfully camouflaging them. If he were unsuccessful at this, he would also be unsuccessful with Jessica. For now, she can't know his attraction. She can't know that she has an effect on him. Because if she did, her focus would be shifted from herself to Richard and the work would be over.

Jess has suddenly become ashamed of something she previously flaunted. It's as if Richard has lifted a veil. And you point out Jessica's body language to show it. She looks away. She looks to the floor. That's excellent. It's a revelation, and Richard has to be beaming inside about this session, regardless that it was cut short. He has made enormous headway.

Really excellent job in showing this new development, Kitty. This is an awakening.

Thu, July 16th, 2020 12:24am

Author
Reply

Thank you. Jessica is evaluating herself and doesn't like what she sees. She was happy at first to tell Richard her stories to try and seduce him but now she's struggling to tell him.
You're right, it Jessica knew Richard was attracted to her, her focus would definitely shifted. Richard knows that and has done a good job hiding his feelings. :)

Fri, July 17th, 2020 6:13am

Spyguy

Wow, so he just penetrated her hard shell! Now a unity can truly begin, if she will let it!

Tue, July 28th, 2020 10:34am

Author
Reply

Richard has definitely gotten to her now, but she will fight it. :)

Tue, July 28th, 2020 4:52am

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