Social Sex

Social Sex

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: True Confessions

Summary

Everybody dating online is vulnerable to hearing that they need to step aside for the object of their affection's next challenge, and everybody at some point looks at what they have and thinks that they can do better. The sea is so full it becomes a feeding frenzy of daters chasing the next floating morsel, thinking every bite not yet chomped might make a more perfect meal. The distraction floating before me arrived in a message that simply said hi and nothing else. Clicking through this brief email led to a woman's profile that was scantly filled out but illustrated with jarringly salacious photos. This woman who sent me a single word greeting was young and in incredible shape. One of her pictures was a closeup of her ass in yoga pants with a caption boasting that hard work pays off. Another photo was a closeup of her bust with a caption teasing that buying her a drink might pay off, too. I messaged this new woman for a date and she promptly sent back her phone number.

Summary

Everybody dating online is vulnerable to hearing that they need to step aside for the object of their affection's next challenge, and everybody at some point looks at what they have and thinks that they can do better. The sea is so full it becomes a feeding frenzy of daters chasing the next floating morsel, thinking every bite not yet chomped might make a more perfect meal. The distraction floating before me arrived in a message that simply said hi and nothing else. Clicking through this brief email led to a woman's profile that was scantly filled out but illustrated with jarringly salacious photos. This woman who sent me a single word greeting was young and in incredible shape. One of her pictures was a closeup of her ass in yoga pants with a caption boasting that hard work pays off. Another photo was a closeup of her bust with a caption teasing that buying her a drink might pay off, too. I messaged this new woman for a date and she promptly sent back her phone number.

Chapter1 (v.1) - Social Sex

Author Chapter Note

Everybody dating online is vulnerable to hearing that they need to step aside for the object of their affection's next challenge, and everybody at some point looks at what they have and thinks that they can do better. The sea is so full it becomes a feeding frenzy of daters chasing the next floating morsel, thinking every bite not yet chomped might make a more perfect meal. The distraction floating before me arrived in a message that simply said hi and nothing else. Clicking through this brief email led to a woman's profile that was scantly filled out but illustrated with jarringly salacious photos. This woman who sent me a single word greeting was young and in incredible shape. One of her pictures was a closeup of her ass in yoga pants with a caption boasting that hard work pays off. Another photo was a closeup of her bust with a caption teasing that buying her a drink might pay off, too. I messaged this new woman for a date and she promptly sent back her phone number.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: February 27, 2015

Reads: 1707

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Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: February 27, 2015

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Selections from "Social Sex" by Jason Kinkade

http://www.amazon.com/Social-Sex-Jason-Kinkade/dp/1502938073/

CHAPTER TWO

Fifth Lover – Eve (Religious Coworker)

The fiercest demon to escape from hell came to Earth to inhabit the body and torture the mind of the first woman for which I had overwhelming feelings. Bipolar Disorder is ugly. Its sufferers are victimized by profound mood swings that exhaust their soul and, in enough time, alienate them from even their most dedicated supporters. I'm not a doctor so to better understand my fifth lover's disease I swallowed a handful of her medication and spent hours tripping balls. When I came to, I knew she wasn't ruining our lives on purpose. Demonic possession is real.

For the first time as a college graduate, I had a job that came with a little dignity. I could come and go as I pleased, set my own schedule, and make independent decisions about how to tackle my responsibilities. I was working in a mental and behavioral health company as a case manager for children with disabilities. The system is screwed up and an entire book could be written about its problems but, for now, this summary works:

Truly evil men have figured out how to turn people's suffering into dollar signs. Workers at the very bottom, who just want to help the less fortunate, tend to trade jobs between agencies thinking the next will be better. Unfortunately, the experience is always the same. An honest worker gets assigned an enormous amount of work that nobody could possibly finish. He or she has at least two puppet middle managers that exist to demand more and more fraudulent billing. Those managers are squashed by the directors above them, telling them that their teams aren't profitable enough. The misery pours down like vomit. This description isn't coming from a disgruntled and lazy staff who got fired. I was one of the few who knew how to game the system in a way that benefited clients and made me look good. My way wasn't easy but since I was lauded as a model employee, I believe it gives me the right to make these criticisms and not be dismissed. When the time came, I quit on principle like Jerry Maguire did. I also went around and drew penises midway down everyone's yellow sticky pads, planning that I would be gone a few weeks before they started finding cocks.

When I first got hired, I was coming and going as I coordinated with schools, parents and supports for my little clients. The children on my caseload helped me more than I ever helped them. I toiled to improve their lives and they showed me great gratitude. A boy's family was so poor he only got two Hot Wheels for Christmas and of those he tried to give me one. This redeeming work that I did made me feel better about my past bad behavior.

Eve got hired after me. Eve was six years older and that only made her hotter. She was stunningly beautiful with long, curly black hair and the best body in the office. She also knew she had power over men and she loved it. I watched her get to know her team, and guys would humiliate themselves trying to welcome her or earn the right to show her how to do something. A guy a little older than her thought he was gaining interest because his jokes landed a laugh but then at the moment when it would crush him the most she announced he was so funny she was reminded of her dad. Ouch! I felt the sting from across the room.

I only got to talk to Eve when she needed a special computer terminal that was close enough to my cubicle that I became the easiest coworker to chat with during load times. During one of these occasions logging on, Eve started weeping and I genuinely asked her what was wrong. She shared quite a bit and said that she was Christian and had saved herself for marriage. Her only criteria was that her husband had to be a pastor. She settled on a music pastor (close enough) but he turned out to be fat and had a small penis. She now considered herself past her prime and without having ever been satisfied like she deserved. She just wanted to be desired and made to feel like a woman.

Some events change the course of history. A meteor wiped out the dinosaurs and allowed the ascension of mammals. The serendipitous discovery of penicillin made serious infection treatable. I told Eve that if she wanted to get laid that badly then I could be very discreet.

I regretted the words that left my mouth, thinking I was probably headed to HR for at best a sexual harassment video or at worst a pink slip, but Eve wiped away her tears and thanked me for the offer. She explained that although she saved herself for her husband and is now getting divorced she has to stay true to her Christian values and begin saving herself for her second husband. I told her that plan sounded reasonable and that I hoped she understood I was surprised by the earnestness of her story and couldn't think of a more appropriate response on the spot. At least she seemed happier, and we went about our day.

Three hours later she called me and asked me to fuck her after work.

I went to Eve's apartment in a state of shock because something like this just doesn't happen to me. Sure enough, when she opened the door and I saw lit candles all over the place I knew she hadn't changed her mind. She sat me down on the couch and clarified that she only wanted to accept half of my offer. She just wanted to make out, cuddle and be touched. She paused and added that she also wanted to be carried to the bedroom. This was turning into a whole production but I thought she was sweet and I wanted her evening to feel special so I picked her up, carried her into her room and laid her on the bed. I kissed her softly, touched her gently, and undressed her as she fell deeper and deeper into an ecstasy she claimed she had never before experienced. Turning her on was turning me on! I couldn't believe how into this she was and how she was completely losing herself to feelings she had apparently never had before. Wondering where was her real boundary, I started giving her some deeply pleasing oral sex.

The chemistry between me and Eve was amazing and probably never duplicated with anyone else. Eve was fully satisfied after our first session and I got more from going down on her than I would have from anything else. Having been mindful of her religious goal, I hadn't removed my pants or tried to penetrate her. She seemed to be playing by some rules that made sense only to her, and she bashfully told me that during our time together just now she had peeked at my erection and knew it would have felt wonderful. I told her that this intimacy could end today where we were leaving it or she could come to me again as long as she stayed comfortable with her decisions. Eve told me that we would never do this again.

I fucked Eve's pussy, ass and mouth a combined 100 times. She would ask me to pick her up before work and we'd fuck. She would ask me to meet at my apartment between appointments and we'd fuck. We would plan dates but then stay home and fuck. Eve and I could not stop fucking each other. We would take turns being deliriously horny and wake each other up in the middle of the night to fuck. Eve and I fucked. Eve wanted to fuck and be fucked in every conceivable way like she was making up for lost fucking time.

The fucking was so good that I destroyed my job, relationships, and probably impacted my sanity so much that I may never be fully sane. The first time Eve lost her mind was about a day after we put my penis in her vagina, despite her saying she wanted it and me trying to talk her out of it. We had sex at her apartment but then she came over to mine unannounced and incensed, and demanded that we get down on our knees, cry and pray to God for forgiveness. When she felt a little better she decided that we should have sex again, too.

Thus began a vicious cycle where Eve would seek me out for sex, enter a religious crisis, reach some resolution, get horny again and start over. The resolution stage usually involved me participating in a church activity with her. Clearly a charade, we would intermittently act like a couple so she could at least pretend we were committed to a godly relationship and may even get married some day. The religious crisis stage once involved Eve having her mom call me to read from the Bible. Eve's mom also gifted me an abstinence book meant for teenagers. I argued with Eve's mom that the religious upbringing was doing to the Bipolar Disorder what grease does to a fire. I firmly believe that Eve could have managed her mental health challenges more effectively without being at war with Satan and wanting to punish herself for every sin great and small. I also broke down in the same phone call with Eve's mom and professed my unyielding love for Eve. I was nuts, too.

Eve and I were two fucked up mental health workers with our own abundant mental health problems. And I regret the many times our sideshow got in the way of my ability to render service to the children and their families I was assigned to help. I knew I couldn't do my job and I assumed Eve wasn't doing hers because she spent the whole day texting me. If I put my phone away for an hour long meeting I would have 60 texts from her ranging from how much she loved me and wanted to spend her life with me to how much she despised me and which coworkers she had managed to turn against me. Work fell more askew as more coworkers witnessed and became annoyed and bothered by the lovers' quarrel between me and Eve. When events came to a head, the person who went to HR first had the upper hand.

Eve went to my boss and HR with a list of grievances. She was mad at herself but the anger and disappointment manifested in her hatred for me. She complained that I burdened and distracted her at work, and then gave a presentation on why I should be fired. Since she and I had been close, she knew that I sometimes let children from my caseload swim at my apartment pool, or that I had bought them food, paid their way into enriching events, or had done any number of things that the company training manual listed as unethical and not professional. A date was set for HR and my boss to meet with me, and I knew I was screwed. While planning my defense, I converted some angry voice mail Eve left me on my cellphone to computer audio, so threatening messages from her could play one after another on a CD. I also had a service plan and review of progress that case managers use for clients, that Eve had instead used to create behavior goals for me to direct my treatment of her in our relationship. The documentation of Eve's bipolar antics piled high.

When I sat down for my meeting, I noticed that the two women from HR had three notebooks full of rantings from Eve. I thought for a moment, strumming my fingers on my mountain of evidence, and slid it aside. I discarded everything in favor of a new and better strategic defense. I preempted HR and apologized for everything. I said I took responsibility for whatever Eve had told them, that it was all true, that Eve was an excellent staff, and that her only lapse in judgment was dating me. I told HR and my boss that I accepted my fate and to please not punish Eve. The meeting had been scheduled for 90 minutes but was over in ten.

I won the breakup.

I was not punished for anything. Eve didn't realize that management already knew I breached boundaries with clients. I made the company tons of money and could do whatever I wanted. If my car needed an oil change, I took clients with me and billed for independent skill building. If I wanted to see a movie, I took a client with me and billed for modeling appropriate behaviors in the community. The whole company was a sham operation! I wanted to spend the least amount of time on site possible and spend my days chilling in the community with cool kids who appreciated my time and thoughtful advice. My counseling in the community approach even grew into official programs that made the company that much more money. The company eventually went too far and these group outings were no longer fun for kids but that is beside the point. While trying to get me fired, Eve made herself look like a dingbat. HR declared Eve could only use the company's East office and I could only use the company's Northwest office. I hated the East office and now had a legitimate reason to miss meetings there. I preferred working in the community but in the times I absolutely had to be at the Northwest office I now knew there was no chance of running into Eve. So nice! Eve screwed herself. She struggled to build rapports with clients and families and spent nearly all her time hiding in an office. Now she wasn't allowed to be in the building closest to her apartment. Fuck you, Eve, that's what you get!

Then Eve won the breakup.

Having been Eve's second lover, and the only one she enjoyed, I never saw this coming. Eve moved on quickly and started a relationship with her high school sweetheart. She broadcast to the world that she was reunited with her soulmate. Seeing the love of your life with somebody else is an unimaginable pain. I sometimes had to drive home in the middle of my day just to sit in my apartment and be sad. I was able to function at work while in a tumultuous relationship with her but not while she was in a healthy relationship with somebody else. I had never been so depressed. And then never so angry. Eve's main criticism of me was that I wasn't Christian. She had dumped me excessively but then always came back for more sex just to break up with me again over my lack of faith. Eve had already proven herself a hypocrite many times but imagine my surprise when I learned her new boyfriend was openly living as a douchebag.

Plenty of guys believe their ex girlfriend’s new man is lesser than them but that isn't the case now. For all practical purposes, the guy has me beat. He is confident, social and successful. His downfall is that he is a social media moron. I looked the guy up and he was the manager of a popular global gym. He had recently converted his Twitter account into an advertising tool for his position, forgetting that he had previously posted a plethora of date rape jokes, disparaging comments about women, racist and homophobic rants against servers and wait staff, and more pictures of beer than anyone would want to look at. That's all fine if it makes him happy but I couldn't shake all the times Eve told me I was a horrible person for not being Christian. Was this guy Christian and that made all his horrible comments OK? I printed his Twitter feed which included his recently posted coupons to new customers and previously posted gay bashing and mailed the package to his corporate boss. Fired. I guess, Christian or not, that shit is not OK. Of all the men Eve could have replaced me with, she chose a meat head body builder that publishes hate speech online.

Eve and I were never face to face again after HR separated us, and it took three years before I could go a full day without thinking about her. I believe she took on the personality of her new boyfriend and his exercise cult because I saw a couple pictures of her down the road, and her once beautiful body was now overly muscular and gross. If Eve needed CrossFit as a new obsession to replace reading the Bible then everything worked out for the best. I know she will always have Bipolar Disorder but without her soul hanging in the balance of every decision she can probably live her life and be happy.

I try not to think about her but I vividly remember a time I thought she was going to scream at me but she instead sat me down and gave me deeply pleasing oral sex. We knew each other's bodies but not each other's minds.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Fourteenth Lover – Nevaeh (Store Manager)

Be careful with online dating.  For awhile, I felt like the sorcerer's apprentice from Fantasia trying to put away the magic.  It can't be done and people get hurt.

If the goal of online dating is to find the love of your life and enter into a relationship with them then I succeeded.  Twice.  The same woman, two times.  Except it turns out I don't believe in happy endings, and I'd rather just encounter my soulmate once, be able to think of her when I need to, and move forward alone on my path to peaceful oblivion.  I met a girl so great that I want to remember her in a bubble and never find ourselves sitting around a table together solving bills, and no longer be of consequence to her when I'm old and shitting myself.  There's probably a less perfect person for me and if there isn't then I'm still OK.  Every human is made of seven billion atoms and with mass mostly comprised of oxygen, carbon and hydrogen, and yet somehow the last woman I dated came together in more harmonious construction than anyone else and achieved this perfection without even needing a full five feet of height.

I live in Tucson and Nevaeh lives in Phoenix so we are separated by two hours of driving.  I found her on the dating site after I depleted my supply of local women and the algorithm started recommending matches from outlying areas.  The whole endeavor seemed comical by now and after finally gaining a degree of shame I was nearly ready to delete my account for good.  But I messaged Nevaeh because she was just so freaking cute, with her short stature and oversized smile, and she wrote back quickly.  We fell into a fast back and forth conversation and before long she provided her phone number and began texting me.  She alerted me to her upcoming birthday and I reflexively added that information into her profile on my phone.  Which is also the only reason we stayed in contact, because after a lull in our communication and never making plans to break down the distance my phone reminded me to wish her happy birthday.  I now know, from the benefit of dating her, that the birthday greeting was a well received pivotal moment following a series of missteps she had been taking in her dating life.  Nevaeh and I agreed to meet, and she volunteered for the first car trip.

Nevaeh is a decade younger than me.  She is 22 and I am 32.  She also has a three year old son whose dad is, you guessed it, an asshole from the Border Patrol.  Nevaeh, having come from a tumultuous multicultural upbringing and then finding herself a teen mom, was still able to do very well for herself.  She stuck with her high school job in a girls' clothing store long enough to become its general manager, making far more money than I ever could doing social work.  The discrepancy in pay and already knowing of her chain from its controversy in selling sexualized styles to prepubescent girls, not unlike the ones on my caseload, was initially unsettling.  But Nevaeh couldn't be nicer and from her perspective she makes the little girls who come into her store feel good about themselves.  And since she picked me to date out of all her options her success fed my male ego.  Unfortunately for spending time together her job stole all of her attention and so our first date actually played out in slivers over a week, culminating with her sleeping over before we even had a full conversation.  She simply walked in my apartment door and spoiled me with the sugariest lips I ever met.

I did temporarily lose control of Nevaeh's sex drive.  She is absolutely insatiable and although I could keep up with her the first night, my confidence began to wither in each subsequent encounter and I acquired fear that I'd perform even worse the next.  We shared such passion and chemistry that we devoured each other every chance we got but she kept going way past my empty tank.  I was also driving myself crazy trying to see her multiple times a week, tacking on sleepovers to work trips that only took me halfway to her.  While the relationship was still new and full of limerence, I did something unbelievably stupid and sent her a letter saying long distance dating wouldn't work.  When she confronted me with my cowardice, we met in Casa Grande, the midpoint between Tucson and Phoenix, to talk.  I laid my feelings out that the sex was overwhelming to me and I'd like to get to know each other better, and she seemed to be on board though she texted me later and said I had put too many doubts in her head to move forward as a romantic couple.  I was still embarrassed about not being able to get hard for her the last time we had sex, and compensated by sending her one, two or 20 too many pictures of my dick during its recovery.  Our text conversations dwindled, I mailed her a couple cards just to let her know I was still thinking about her, but we mostly stopped talking for 50 days.

In the beginning of those 50 days, I annoyed my coworkers with my depression and didn't do much more than feel sorry for myself.  My officemate introduced me to Maca Root Extract and told me to take it every day to fan a roaring libido.  I implemented this daily supplement, started exercising, did away with alcohol, caffeine and masturbation, and rebuilt myself better than before.  When Nevaeh finally said hi, I felt good enough to put this wheezing relationship to death and bluntly told her that I moved onto fucking a redhead.  My admission shocked and surprised her but remarkably also won me an invitation to her son's cowboy themed birthday party.  Then Nevaeh disappeared again in the days leading up to the party, which left me and my coworkers debating whether I should still go.  Common sense said no but the agitator in all of us thought it would be funny to go out in a blaze of glory by showing up as Toy Story's Woody just to make everyone uncomfortable.  Except Nevaeh broke her silence a day before the party to make sure I was still coming and I went and left a positive impression on her family members.  I was back on Nevaeh's romantic radar as was imminent makeup sex.

Sex with Nevaeh was now euphoric and even better than all previous times.  In our first night reunited, I outlasted her and she took a turn waving the white flag of defeat.  It was a triumph of the Maca and just how much raw desire I have for this woman.  Just the smallest amount of attention from her keeps me happy for days.  Her sweet face is burned into my memory when I close my eyes, and I stand in awe of the good humored and accomplished woman she is every day.  She has acting aspirations and if she finds the time then I think she will succeed in Hollywood, too.  A night with accidental butt sex earned me my first I love you from her and I'll never forget hearing those soft spoken words in her little angelic voice waft out into the night as she fell asleep beside me.  Such love is also fertile ground for cognitive dissonance, or the psychological tendency to deny discrepancies between preexisting beliefs and new information.

Time loop stories are so compelling to me because they show how such tiny and seemingly insignificant events can bring about amazing changes to individual or shared histories.  So many things had to go right and wrong for Nevaeh and I to get together and back together: A birthday text, a slutty redhead, even a small fire in her store all impacted us coming together from over 100 miles apart.  This second time around I didn't go crazy trying to see her as much, which allowed for more planned and reasonable quality time, and I didn't exert myself trying to pleasure her beyond my abilities and she still reported high physical satisfaction.  But like H. G. Wells' time traveler, I started noticing cracks in our utopia.  For one, Nevaeh chooses to invest in her store at the expense of her home.  Her house is condemnable but I didn't notice until after the twentieth or fiftieth time we had sex.  I looked around and thought I should be stripped of my child welfare credentials for not seeing the roaches in the pile of dishes cemented to the sink, last year's now roasted Christmas tree sheltering rodents in the backyard, wads of hair from her two fuzzy cats clinging to everything and coming out of my lungs when I coughed, the omnipotent smell of feline waste, the pee stained walls and floor of the two non-functioning bathrooms, the lone hanging shade still affixed to the not originally opaque sliding glass door, the hodgepodge of discarded food in the fridge now giving birth to new genesis, and the rolling hills of trash including the massive garbage mountain I tripped over in the middle of one night.  Giving this hardworking single mom the benefit of the doubt, I on three occasions cleaned everything for her and then watched as she recreated the same messes.  I couldn't reconcile how she could run a successful business but not pick up for her kid... and the neglect bothered me.

Nevaeh's lifestyle finally impacted my health and well being.  When the little boy caught Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease from his cousins, I still went to visit Nevaeh and help take care of him.  And even though adults aren't suppose to easily catch Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease, guess which loser immediately broke out in hot red splotches and a nuclear fever? This one.  Realizing our renewed relationship remained a deadend and then telling Nevaeh brewed over into a shitstorm.  The thing is, Nevaeh makes a great dream girl for me.  She is smart, funny, young and beautiful.  Nevaeh does not make a great real girl for me.  I can't relate to her youthful independence since I was such a late bloomer and neither of us can just pack up and move.  Nevaeh took me to the end of my dating journey, showed me the edge of a wonderful universe, but after seven happy months I knew I had to leave.  For both of us.  On the way out, I suggested some social services she may not be aware of that could help with her son and she rightfully took great offense.  I once wondered what it would be like to gaze upon Nevaeh's face as she became my wife, then I made the choice that took her from loving me to detesting me, and in the future she won't even think about me.  I don't care how much sense the breakup makes, or how much of my girlfriend's wardrobe reeked of cat urine, seeing our affectionate photos she once boastfully shared with friends on social media come down hurt. 

Now it will be a long time if ever before I open another online dating profile.


© Copyright 2019 Jason Kinkade. All rights reserved.

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