Virtually Lovers

Virtually Lovers

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Summary

"The teasing and anticipation of impending outcome is breath taking" To the outside world, Lucy is an outwardly unremarkable married mother of one, living in an English country cottage. But she is also a published, yet anonymous author of erotic romance. Her two identities are kept utterly separate, even from her own husband. That is until the delicious Theo strikes up an online conversation with her and starts to break down the carefully-constructed wall which separates her two lives. In their steamy, cross-continental virtual relationship, Lucy discovers something entirely unexpected; a writing partner, a sexual equal and most importantly, a friend. As virtual erotic sparks fly, Theo and Lucy smoulder in each other’s online company. But will there ever be an opportunity for them to meet in person...and what the hell would happen if they did?

Summary

"The teasing and anticipation of impending outcome is breath taking"

To the outside world, Lucy is an outwardly unremarkable married mother of one, living in an English country cottage. But she is also a published, yet anonymous author of erotic romance. Her two identities are kept utterly separate, even from her own husband. That is until the delicious Theo strikes up an online conversation with her and starts to break down the carefully-constructed wall which separates her two lives.

In their steamy, cross-continental virtual relationship, Lucy discovers something entirely unexpected; a writing partner, a sexual equal and most importantly, a friend. As virtual erotic sparks fly, Theo and Lucy smoulder in each other’s online company. But will there ever be an opportunity for them to meet in person...and what the hell would happen if they did?

Chapter8 (v.1) - Chapter 8

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 21, 2020

Reads: 77

Comments: 1

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 21, 2020

A A A

A A A

[Lucy]:So, what does our leading man want?What’s his motivation?’

The dark winter evenings were lengthening, as time moved them relentlessly towards Christmas.Having managed to grab themselves a spare moment, Lucy was intent on trying to develop their story.In recent weeks, she had put a concerted effort into her writing, but still found it a struggle to make progress.Perhaps it was because she was right in the eye of the storm of the story being created.Besides, how could she possibly be expected to view her obsession with Theo objectively enough to craft it into a work of fiction?

Yet, Lucy also knew she had to be brave and understand what Theo truly felt about her; what his expectations from their online relationship were.After some consideration, rather than asking him outright, she’d decided to be purposefully sneaky, knowing full well that the characters in their story represented the two of them and hoping that he might not notice.

[Theo]:Clever.

[Lucy]:What?

Lucy’s heart was already beating a little faster as she waited for him to call her out.

[Theo]:Whether you realize it or not, by asking about our character’s motivation, you’re trying to figure out the plot for our personal lives.

Lucy didn’t dare answer him.She didn’t want to lie if he asked her outright as to whether she’d set this up on purpose.Despite that, she was desperate to know his answer and breathed a long sigh of relief when, after a short pause, he continued to type.

[Theo]:So I’ll play along.Our male lead has been in a number of committed relationships.His entire extended family is based on them, so it’s easy to imagine he can be happy in one.But he’s learned that after several years, he starts to feel trapped, as the partner he initially fell in love with, begins to drift away.Navigating the delicate waters that married life demands - children, work, home – he welcomed and thrived on the challenge. Except the one thing that mattered the most – the connection that cemented the relationship always disappeared and he was left with a construct of life that resembled a plastic cage; one where he would have eventually chewed off his own limb in order to escape. But despite the pain, he feared disconnecting from the things that he loved from within that cage.

[Lucy]:Sweetheart x

It was entirely inadequate but her dear friend, across the other side of the world, was pouring his heart out to her and she wanted him to know that she was there with him.Feeling the pain right alongside him.Theo went onto describe his three key relationships over the past twenty years of his life where cheating, distrust and chronic mental illness all played a part.Having heard the details, Lucy felt that any one of those relationships would have put most men off women for life.Theo began to conclude.

 [Theo]: As a result of a litany of bad relationships, his perception of loving completely has become skewed.So now, the thought of being exclusive to one person makes his stomach sick.

Suddenly feeling an empty, hollow version of herself, Lucy’s own stomach experienced sympathy pain, as it sank like a stone to the bottom of a murky pond.

[Lucy]:So what’s his best case scenario?What does he want from her?

Lucy had to quickly amend her typing, before pressing send, having previously typed ‘What do you want from me?’ in her haste to converse.

[Theo]:He wants human connection.Honestly. Openness.Playfulness.

[Lucy]:He doesn’t want her physically?

[Theo]:He wants her very, very much.He is trying to navigate his emotions against what his body needs.But he knows he couldn’t ever offer monogamy again.Part of himself will forever remain locked away now; protected against the risk of future injury. 

[Lucy]:And that’s how you feel too?

[Theo]:Yeah. I just know I’m a bit of a hot mess when it comes to love and long term.I tend to want to be monogamous; to run off into the sunset and there are times when I wish I could do just that.Scoop you up… but my track record speaks for itself.I’ve concluded that variety is key – we have variety in all other aspects of our life, after all.Why not sexual partners?So my ideal would probably be best provided through a swinger’s lifestyle.

[Lucy]:You mean sleeping around?

[Theo]:That’s a gross oversimplification.It’s a lot more than that.You have trust within your own relationship, which includes the freedom to have sex with others.

Lucy suddenly understood the saying about your blood running cold.A chill had encompassed her entire being as she’d read Theo’s words.She couldn’t even comprehend being with somebody long-term where she and her partner openly had sexual intercourse with other people. It was the very contradiction of what she had always understood a loving relationship to be.On the other hand, Theo had become one of the key constituents of what made it worth her while to get up in the morning.He was fast becoming a part of her.And if she was going to continue to communicate with him, she had to accept that was what he wanted.She was in too deep to walk away now.

[Lucy]:I thought…Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought now.

[Theo]:It would kill me if I knew I was hurting you.I care about you a great deal, sometimes I think more than I realise. You are very special.But we live five thousand kilometres apart.

[Lucy]:I can't help having feelings.  I can't see you as just a sex object to have online fun with.  You are somuch more than that.I am so crap at this kind of thing.

[Theo]:You are incredible at this kind of thing.It’s called being human.

[Lucy]:But we have this most incredible connection.

[Theo]:Yes, we do but it can’t ever be anything more – you must be able to see that?What kind of a dick would I be, trying to make a move on you, you with a child and sort of married.I fear we would fall for each other and I’m not good for you long term...monogamy is obviously not something I can commit to.

[Lucy]:So, just to recap…lol

[Theo]:OMG lol

[Lucy]:I process information.It’s what I do.Deal with it.

[Theo]:Shit stirrer.

[Lucy]:So the best case scenario is that we are great friends who, if possible, meet up and fuck and then return to our normal lives until the next time.  Correct?

[Theo]:That makes sense to me.

Lucy swallowed away the tears that were threatening to rise up and engulf her.In stunned silence, she sat and gazed at the words on the screen which began to swim in front of her.How could she have got it so wrong?She must have some kind of genetic abnormality which prevented her from separating love and sex.It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been entirely honest about his intentions from the offset either – she was simply one of his many online “friends”.She was so stupid sometimes, it literally made her cringe. Realising that time was dragging on and Theo would eventually become suspicious about the absence of her response, she began to type.

[Lucy]:I’m sorry, Theo.The phone’s ringing.I’ll speak to you later.

Lucy’s index finger hovered over the ‘Send’ button, but her honesty prevailed.They didn’t lie to each other.That was their first rule.The whole truth, and nothing but the truth.Deleting her words, she tried again.

[Lucy]:I’m sorry, Theo.Something needs my attention here.GTG.

Well, that was true, Lucy tried to justify to herself as she quickly logged out.Her insanity clearly required a good deal of her attention.Plus she needed to find some tissues, to mop up the tears which had started to stream down her face.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Lucy didn’t sleep much that night.By four o’clock the following morning, she found herself dressed in her running gear.With Dexter at her heels, she raced through the neighbouring darkness, casting moonlight shadows on the tarmac.The only light was cast by the pale, yellow orb hanging unsupported in the dark, navy blue sky, it’s perfection ruined by a pearl-white iridescent streak from a single Gatwick-bound flight.As she turned into the neighbouring forest, Lucy was just able to pick out the silhouette of a gnarled oak tree standing proudly on the nearby hillside.Early morning cobwebs brushed across her bare arms, informing her of what she already knew; it was ridiculously early, so she was the first person along the path that day.

Following ten minutes of fast-paced running, almost as though to punish herself for her recent behaviour, thoughts and perceived weakness, Lucy eventually collapsed to the ground in the corner of a distant field. Through the strange blue-grey, pre-dawn light, an owl hooted in the distance.Lucy swiftly broke down, dissolving into huge wracking sobs, fat tears running down her glowing face.Instinctively, Dexter ceased his rabbit chasing, instead choosing to curl up against her shuddering body, licking her salty face in silent sympathy.

As she sat slumped in the darkness, a myriad of thoughts churned through Lucy’s confused mind.How could she have got this so wrong?Misunderstood so completely?Theo had spoken to her as though she were a close friend; a lover. Numerous phrases replayed in her mind, as though trying to justify that her feelings for him weren’t entirely unwarranted.Of course, she knew she didn’t love the man; how could she?They’d never even met.It wasn’t like she’d fallen in love, like one of those crazy women you read about, who write to a death-row inmate and end up getting married.But she couldn’t deny that she’d fallen for his mind, his spirit and his good soul.She had been foolish enough to dare consider what the dream of her and Theo together would look like and now it had come back to bite her.

Whichever way you sliced it though, once again she’d allowed her soft, loving heart to rule her thoughts and actions.Instead of learning from past mistakes, Lucy had been sucked into a scenario which had, albeit for only a short moment, looked dangerously like love.But this time, it was different.A significant physical distance existed between them, meaning that Theo didn’t ever need to know about her stupidity, her weakness.She vowed that this self-indulgent display of tears would be the last time she’d allow herself to cry over the loss of what might have been.

Gradually, the intensity of her sobbing lessened until, at last, her final tear had fallen.It was dawn now; the start of a brand new day.And as the sun started to light up the early morning sky, Lucy knew that things had to change.With her arm around her faithful canine companion, she envisaged two paths ahead of her, knowing she must select one.The first option was to allow her relationship with Theo to wither and die. Had the mere thought of that scenario not sent a chill to the centre of her being, she might well have realised that was the sensible option.She reminded herself that her response was born from her emotions and as it was those very emotions that had created this scenario in the first place, they could scarcely be relied upon to make an informed decision.However, as never speaking to Theo again was simply too much of a distressing scenario to even contemplate, Lucy quickly examined the alternative.

The second path was to return to the fray and continue to correspond with Theo but with a ‘Friends with Benefits’ mindset which was, incidentally, exactly the way he seemed to visualise her.She could care about him as a friend and discuss sex, but the first hint of any romantic feelings or emotions, would be shut right down. A quiet, lone voice in the back of her mind, which Lucy dutifully ignored, reminded her that a previous partner had also suggested a ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship, with catastrophic consequences.But option two was simply the lesser of two evils, and therefore must be her chosen path.

Levering herself to standing, Lucy wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands and began the long walk for home.She had no desire to run anywhere now.As Dexter streaked ahead of her, delighted to be on the move once more, a third option fleetingly appeared in Lucy’s mind like a Mayfly.Was Theo simply saying such things to exercise her emotions?To explore the scenario for the depth of their story? It was an optimistic consideration which Lucy immediately quashed; he had his faults, but he would never be so cruel as to toy with her affections in that way.No, she must acknowledge that Theo didn’t want her, like she wanted him. And the sooner she accepted the stark reality of that situation, the sooner she could pass through these doldrums and continue forwards with the rest of her life.

-------------------------

Hi there!  All my books are available from Amazon and free to those of you who have Kindle Unlimited.  For more information and freebies, please visit www.fenellaashworth.com

-------------------------


© Copyright 2020 Fenella Ashworth. All rights reserved.

Chapters

Add Your Comments:

Comments

Other Content by Fenella Ashworth

More Great Reading

Popular Tags