Chapter 5: Computer Jokes

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group

Reads: 168

How do you know when your computer is not working?

When you can't turn it on.

How do you know when your computer is working?

When you still can't turn it on.

How'd you know you are a successful writer on a word processor?

When you can type a poem on your word processor and print it.

How do you know you are a super successful writer on a word processor?

When at least one person other than your parents has read your poem.

How'd you know you're a successful film-maker?

About 15 minutes after you get your smart phone out its box.

How do you know that you're a super successful film-maker?

When you have filled up 10% of your hard drive.

How do you know you're a successful music maker?

When you can make music without actually being able to play an instrument at all.

How do you know you're a super successful music maker?

When 10 people have seen you play in a bar and a million people online.

How'd you know if you're a successful digital artist?

When you've painted your first digital painting.

How do you know you're a super successful digital artist?

When you have also worked out how to make a slide show of your paintings.

How'd you know when you're successfully living the web lifestyle?

When the only thing you do with your computer is look up other people's poems.

Also, when you have an Internet connection.

You've still got social skills and you have a computer.

When the only thing you do on your computer is watch television shows that were just earlier on the normal television.

When you go to bed at nights and you can remember what you did that day.

You sleep normally having used a computer.

You've not looked up anything about conspiracy theories for the last few days.

You have just been looking up things about conspiracy theories and watching them or listening to them or reading them.

You can actually remember something you've read about conspiracy theories.

Nobody thinks it's strange when you talk about conspiracy theories.

People start coming around to see you in real life that don't also have computers. Or your friends do all have them but don't talk about them.

You don't work with computers and use one at home as well.

You do work with computers and don't have one at home.

Nobody knows you've got a computer and they think that you have good social skills as well.

People don't ask you what you have been doing on your computer anymore. They know because of what you're saying. That is, you've watched movies, listened to pod casts and caught snippets of news they haven't already all heard also and still find interesting you saying them.

You live a completely normal life and still have a computer in the corner of your room.

Your computer is not also your television in your living room because your living room television is also your computer.

You are wired for everything but only use it for a few hours per day.

You still lie in your bed and listen to the sound of traffic going past for entertainment.

Nobody cares what you do on your computer when you spend all day on it.

If anybody knew that you used a computer, they would laugh.

Alternatively, if anybody knew that you used a computer, they wouldn't laugh.

If people saw a computer in your home, they would ask you how you used one. But this is despite having one for 12 years themselves.

Nobody is jealous of you for being smart when they can see your computer in the room but they still want to hear your conversation.

Also, nobody asks you for tips on marketing anymore when you're only talking about business reality shows.

When you can remember the last time that you went out for a walk that people stop asking you about computers. As well, this is even if the same people encouraged you to use one beforehand.

People think you're normal. As well, it is despite half your room still being taken up by computers, paper files, pads and pens.

You have books on a normal bookshelf anyone might have had in the past but today you have still actually read them as well.

People also ask you even just conversationally what the name of the last book you read was and expect a normal answer you had read one.

The End


Submitted: December 05, 2020

© Copyright 2022 Earnest Long. All rights reserved.


  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Other Content by Earnest Long