Made To Be Broken

Status: Finished

Made To Be Broken

Status: Finished

Made To Be Broken

Book by: AMS1971

Genre: Gay and Lesbian

Book by: AMS1971

Details

Genre: Gay and Lesbian

Summary

At age 14, Noble Richmond becomes devastatingly aware that he is gay. Being raised in a Christian home and church, Noble believes that being gay is a sin, and desperately seeks God's healing and deliverance – telling no one of his secret. Now, nine years later, Noble is engaged to a Christian girl, Rebecca, who he believes he is genuinely in love with. Convinced that God has answered his prayers and delivered him from the sin of homosexuality, Noble sees his future with Rebecca as bright and promising. But when Rebecca's step-brother, Jonah, shows up at their engagement party – Noble is forced to question his deliverance and finds himself struggling with emotions and desires he insists is not natural for one man to feel for another.

Summary

At age 14, Noble Richmond becomes devastatingly aware that he is gay. Being raised in a Christian home and church, Noble believes that being gay is a sin, and desperately seeks God's healing and deliverance – telling no one of his secret. Now, nine years later, Noble is engaged to a Christian girl, Rebecca, who he believes he is genuinely in love with. Convinced that God has answered his prayers and delivered him from the sin of homosexuality, Noble sees his future with Rebecca as bright and promising. But when Rebecca's step-brother, Jonah, shows up at their engagement party – Noble is forced to question his deliverance and finds himself struggling with emotions and desires he insists is not natural for one man to feel for another.

Chapter42 (v.1) - EPILOGUE (pt. 1) : "Circle Of Promise"

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 18, 2014

Reads: 635

Comments: 3

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: May 18, 2014

A A A

A A A

EPILOGUE

(pt. 1)

 

“Circle Of Promise”

 

“Only God could stop me loving you

Only God could tell me not to

He sent you from Heaven

Just to make my dreams come true

When he opened the door

That you came walking through

Only God could stop me loving you.”

 

- Only God Could Stop Me Loving You,  TOBY KEITH

__________________________________

 

 

 

“So what do you think?”

Sitting in the passenger seat, lost in deep thought, Jonah’s question brought Noble back to the here and now. He glanced up. “About what?”

“About dad and Colleen opening their home to foster kids.” Jonah’s eyes were on the road, a smile playing tauntingly at the corners of his lips.

“I think…” Noble’s lips tightened and he looked out the passenger window. “I think it’s amazing.”

Jonah chuckled softly. “That little guy they had there tonight was sure a cutie.”

Noble smiled and murmured, “Yeah, he was.” The last thing he’d expected when they’d entered Mason’s home – was to be greeted by two year old little boy in an aviator cap. His first thought had been that he belonged to Keith’s family, possibly his nephew, and had come with Rebecca and Keith. But Mason had soon informed them that they had been talking for awhile and decided to become foster parents. Noble wasn’t shocked by this news, though it was unexpected. Mason had a heart the size of Texas, and it broke in a big way when he thought about all the kids out there without families or people to care for them.

Two-year-old Jory was their first foster child, and kind of a test. The agency suggested they take him in on a trial run, make sure this is really what they want to do. Both Mason and Colleen were clearly already in love with the boy and Noble suspected they might not want to let him go should he be adopted. But he couldn’t blame them, Jory had done a swift work of stealing all their hearts tonight.

“Check this out.” Jonah grinned and opened his phone then handed it to Noble.

“What?” Noble took the cell, and a sudden unexpected knot formed in his throat as he stared at the background pic on the display; Noble asleep in Mason’s recliner, with Jory crashed out on his chest. He licked his lips and smiled. “You took a picture.”

“Of course.” Jonah chuckled and glanced at him, eyes glowing warmly. “You think I was going to pass up that shot? It was too damn adorable.”

Noble laughed softly and looked at the picture again. The boy had seemed to attach himself to Noble, following him from room to room, crawling into his lap whenever he sat down, and ultimately, falling asleep on his chest before Colleen finally took him and put him to bed. Noble had tried to tell himself not to let the boy burrow too deep into his heart, that his presence in their lives was temporary, but one look in those big beautiful eyes and Noble was gone. He glanced at Jonah. He guessed he just had a weakness for beautiful boys.

“Maybe we should get one.” Jonah said suddenly then winked at Noble.

Get one?” Noble shook his head and laughed. “They’re not puppies that you buy from a pet store.”

Jonah chuckled. “I know that, silly. But even so…”

Images of Jory’s bright eyes and smiling face filled his head. Noble’s chest tightened. “I overheard Rebecca and Keith talking.” He said quietly. “About considering adopting Jory, after the wedding.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. Of course not.” Noble murmured. “I think they would give him a wonderful home.”

Jonah smiled softly. “But you want him…don’t you?”

Shaking his head slowly, Noble said, “He would be better off with them.”

“Why?” Jonah wondered, “What’re we – dysfunctional?”

“Not you.”

“And you are?” Jonah frowned.

Noble shrugged. “I didn’t exactly have the best parental examples.”

“Noble.” Jonah reached over and rubbed his hand down the back of his head. “You are nothing like your parents. You would make an amazing father.” He smiled. “No doubt much better than me. ‘Cause I’d probably let the kid get away with everything.”

Noble ducked his head, and smiled. “And make me the bad guy who enforced the rules?”

“Um…” Jonah looked thoughtful, then grinned. “Yep.”

“So you’d really just be more like the kid’s older, unruly brother.”

“Yeah, something like that.” Jonah chuckled.

“Mm-Hm. That’s encouraging.”

Jonah grinned. “Well look on the bright side – I would need lots of…” He winked. “…reprimanding.”

“Shit.” Noble laughed and shook his head. “You’re determined to get that spanking, aren’t you?”

 “Oh hell yeah.”

 

......................

 

Jonah’s heart refused to calm and instead went wild in his chest. He knew they were just talking, even joking – and the idea of them seriously considering taking in a child at this point was probably so far out of the realms of possibility that it wasn’t even really a rational option. Still…he couldn’t deny the excitement it filled him with. It was crazy, he knew, to even think about. His and Noble’s relationship was still fresh and new, they had yet to bring up the word marriage. And the responsible thing to do would be to take their time, get settled with each other before even considering adding a child to the mix. But he couldn’t get the vision of Noble and Jory out of his head; the two of them asleep in the chair, Noble’s hand resting gently on the boy’s back. If every day of the rest of their lives could end with that picture – Jonah couldn’t ask for more. It was perfect. And Jory even looked like Noble. Jonah had seen the resemblance the first time the boy had crawled up into Noble’s lap. And he’d fallen in love with him right then and there.

Yes, he had no doubt that Rebecca and Keith would give the boy a great home life, and love him to pieces. But why couldn’t they just have one of their own…and let him and Noble take Jory?

What’re you thinking, man? You guys aren’t ready for this. Don’t push it. He glanced at Noble who was still looking at the picture on the phone. The man adored Jory – but he’d just went through a major change of lifestyle, coming out and working at accepting himself for who he was. He was still working through issues and insecurities, to some degree still struggling with his beliefs. This stuff didn’t just magically disappear overnight. Jonah knew it wouldn’t be fair of him to seriously suggest they try to raise a child at this point. They had all the time in the world to talk about kids. But not all the time in the world to talk about Jory.

Maybe that was it. He didn’t just want any kid; he wanted Jory. And so did Noble, even if he wasn’t ready to be a father yet. Or didn’t believe he was. But Jonah knew better than that.

You haven’t even made love to the man yet and you’re already wanting to adopt a child together? Maybe you just need to slow down, take it one step at a time.

That was true, he knew. But being with Noble…everything felt like a possibility, and there was nothing he didn’t want to experience with him. He wanted marriage, and a family. And he couldn’t help feeling eager to get their life started.

“Are you okay?” Noble asked.

“Hm?” Jonah cleared his throat then looked at him. “Yeah. Why?”

“You went quiet there all of the sudden.”

“No, I’m good.” He touched Noble’s face and smiled.

Noble licked his lips slowly and ducked his head. “Jonah,” He said quietly, thickly. “I wasn’t trying to imply that I didn’t think you would be a good father.” He raised his eyes and they were wet with a sheen of tears. “I hope you didn’t think that.”

“I didn’t think that at all.” He assured softly.

“Because I know you would make an incredible father.” Noble said. “How could you not…considering who raised you?” He smiled.

The fact that Noble had actually been concerned that Jonah might have misunderstood him, just made Jonah love him all the more. “Well,” he mused. “Don’t tell my dad that…it might give him a big head.”

“Hm.” Noble pressed his lips tight and smiled. “That’s what he says about complimenting you.”

Jonah laughed. “Well, like father, like son.” He glanced at Noble as the young man’s smile faltered. Jonah took hold of his hand and lifted it to his lips as he kept his eyes on the road, then cast Noble a quick look. “And just as a recap…my dad is now your dad. So when I say things such as Like Father, Like Son…that doesn’t apply to you and your ex-father. You’re under our influence now.” He winked.

Laughing softly, Noble leaned across and kissed Jonah’s cheek. “God help me.”

 

......................

 

The late July evening was warm, the air comfortable, soothing against Noble’s face when he stepped out of the car. Almost three weeks had passed since the incident with his father and the majority of his injuries were healed, or well on their way. He looked across the top of the car at Jonah when the man climbed out and closed the driver door. God had been smiling on them at Jonah’s court hearing and, taking into consideration the circumstances behind the man’s violent actions, he had been spared jail time and been slapped with mere community service. Neither Jonah nor Noble made complaints; any extended time apart would have made them both crazy.

“Amazing night, huh?” Jonah smiled and met Noble at the front of the car. He leaned against the hood and pulled Noble into his arms, kissing him softly then touched his head to Noble’s brow. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Noble played with the finely trimmed hair at the nape of Jonah’s neck and pushed his body closer to the man. Tonight was the night, and though he and Jonah had been plenty intimate over the last few weeks, Noble was feeling the butterflies. He’d been dreaming and fantasizing about this night…well, in truth, since he’d met Jonah that first day at the engagement party. How was it that that obnoxious, irritating man had walked right in and taken his heart? He hadn’t had to steal it – he’d simply held out his hand and Noble had placed it in his palm. Oh, he had done his damnedest to try and tell himself at the time that he was resisting, fighting against Jonah’s charm, but there had been no resistance, not really. And gazing into his beautiful eyes now…he understood why; this man was irresistible.

“What’re you thinking about?” Jonah murmured and smiled, nuzzling his neck. “You’ve got an awful sexy little smile on your lips.”

Noble sighed. “I can’t tell you.” He whispered. “It might give you a big head.”

Chuckling low, Jonah growled, “Which head might get big?”

Noble groaned and laughed softly. “Probably…both.”

“Mm. I like the sound of that.” He drew back and kissed Noble on the mouth. “Now you have to tell me.”

“Nope.”

“I can make you tell me, you know?” Jonah nibbled on Noble’s lower lip, sending little electric shocks snapping through his body, sizzling in his nether regions. Of course the man could make him tell – he could make him to do anything. But he didn’t need to be privy to that information.

Noble slid his fingers through the man’s hair up the back of his head and smiled slyly. “I don’t think so.”

Another static shudder skipped through Noble’s body when Jonah rested his hands on his hips and squeezed, pushing himself against him with more firmness. “Guess I’ll have to prove it.”

“Guess so.” Noble smiled, and the next thing he knew, his back was against Jonah’s chest and the man was caressing his body, fingers tugging the hem of his shirt loose from his waistband then his warm hands rubbing over his stomach and up to his chest. Noble shivered with pleasure and laid his head back against Jonah’s shoulder, a moan forming in his throat. Jonah laid sensual kisses on his neck and jaw as his fingers traced tiny patterns all over his quivering skin, bumping over the lean mounds of abdomen muscle and on downward to the play around the snap of his pants.

“Sure you don’t want to tell me now?” Jonah murmured against his ear. “This is your last chance before I take off the gloves.”

A soft panting breath puffed from Noble’s lips. “Take them off.” He smiled. “I can deal.”

“All right, then.” Jonah nipped his earlobe. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He popped loose the button and Noble trembled as he very slowly slid down the zipper. Jonah slipped his hands down inside between the fabric of his pants and his briefs and rubbed his upper thighs then ran his fingertips through the crease of his legs, grazing his erection which strained against his shorts.

Noble’s breath caught and he gripped Jonah’s arms, squeezing, as the man began to tease him with his almost touches until Noble’s member throbbed in agony, swelling out tight against his briefs. “You play mean and dirty.” Noble whimpered.

Chuckling softly against his neck, Jonah murmured, “I haven’t even begun to get mean and dirty, baby.”

 

......................

 

The teasing was beginning to backfire on him. Noble’s hunger for him was growing and hardening by the moment, as was his own for this man pressed back firm against him. His control over his hands was minimal at best, and they were strongly considering ignoring his mental commands altogether and just jumping right in to where they wanted to be.

He struggled to keep his breath even as he ran a fingertip along the outer edge of Noble’s confined erection. When it jumped in reaction to his touch, he bit his lip to stifle a whimper. Noble wasn’t stifling anything and let his own whimper shudder off his lips – which only made matters worse for Jonah. All the little – and big – sounds Noble exhaled in his moments of rising passion was the very thing that pushed Jonah over the edge the quickest.

His throat thick with need, Jonah moaned and sucked on the tender skin of Noble’s neck, causing the man to release more beautiful sounds of soft ecstasy.  Barely thinking at all now, Jonah slowly shoved down the front of Noble’s pants, taking the briefs with them, loosing Noble’s stiff erection out into the warm night air. The man’s chest shuddered with uneven breaths, his head pressed back onto Jonah’s shoulder, eyes closed, lips parts and letting out short puffs.

God, baby, you are so fucking sexy right now. Had they already made love by now, Jonah would have taken him right here, against the car. But that wasn’t the memories of their first time that Jonah wanted for either of them.

Noble shifted his hips and squeezed Jonah’s arms, fingers digging into his skin, expressing his need for Jonah to use his hands on him. Gritting his teeth against the urge to do just that, Jonah continued his onslaught of teasing and tantalizing – and raked his short nails very lightly up the underside of Noble’s member.

Uh!” Noble flinched, his whole body bumping back against Jonah, his rump shoving into his crotch with a suddenness and force that jerked a short gasp from Jonah as well. Shit. The man had the most perfect ass in creation.

“Ready to give it up yet?” Jonah groaned and dragged one fingertip up through the groove underneath the crown, massaging the spot gently, knowing how ultra-sensitive it was. A thin trickle of warm fluid seeped down, wetting his fingertip and suddenly his mouth was salivating.

“Are you?” Noble swallowed hard, and this time he deliberately pushed his ass against him then rubbed firmly, rocking his hips just enough to blind Jonah with an explosion of sexual heat.

Fuck.” The word slipped out unbidden and his hands shook a little as he caressed Noble’s rigid shaft. He lost sight of his initial goal when Noble pushed his hips forward, sliding his hardness against Jonah’s fingers. “Fuck it.” Jonah groaned and curled his hand around the shaft, squeezed with just enough pressure to extract a sharp gasp from Noble, then began to stroke him.

Uuh!” Noble’s shoulders crushed back against his chest, the man’s body tensing fiercely. His hips moved in rhythm with Jonah’s hand, his firm ass bumping steadily against Jonah’s hard crotch, getting him harder by the second. “Oh fuck…

His free hand snaking around Noble’s abdomen, he held the guy tight against him and rocked his hips in time with Noble’s, his fist slipping up and down the man’s solid muscle until they were both panting and moaning and gasping.

Jonah groaned in agony then whispered shakily, “I really want our first time to be in our bed,” he shuddered. “But unless we go inside right now…we aren’t going to make it to the bedroom.” Despite his words, he continued to stroke the man, his hand unwilling to release him.

“Then…” Noble gasped thickly, “Then you have to stop.”

Jonah panted against his ear. “I don’t know if I can.” He moaned, an unsteady smile on his lips.

Noble covered his hand and, after a moment’s hesitation, moved it away, causing Jonah to whimper. He tucked himself back in his pants then turned around and rubbed his hands up Jonah’s chest, the man’s heart beating wildly against his palm. Jonah gazed at him – completely floored by the heat of desire in his eyes and the freedom behind it.

You’ve come a long way, baby.

Kissing his throat, Noble whispered, “Take me to bed.”

 

......................

 

The butterflies went into a frenzy as Jonah opened the bedroom door, touched Noble’s lower back and directed him inside. Up until now, he and Jonah had been using the guest room downstairs. Though he had long since been able to sleep upstairs, Jonah hadn’t wanted to take him to his bed until they could make love in it. So in a sense, this would be his first time sleeping in Jonah’s bed as well.

“You don’t have to be nervous.” Jonah said softly and kissed him, then wrapped his arms around him. “This will be the best night of our lives.” He kissed him again and winked. “So far.”

Noble released deep, shaky breath. “I know.” He murmured.

“So what are you worried about?” Jonah smiled.

Shrugging, Noble glanced at the bed, lips pressing tight. “What if…” He ducked his head. “What if I’m not good at it?” On one hand, he knew it was probably silly to worry about that. But he also knew how long Jonah had been waiting – anticipating – making love to him. He didn’t want to disappoint the man, or have it end up being so much less than Jonah had hoped it would be.

“Trust me.” Jonah held him tighter. “You will do just fine. Better than fine.” He kissed him warmly, then asked, “Are you afraid you might not enjoy it?”

Was he afraid of that? What if there was more pain than pleasure? He hated the thought of not enjoying making love with Jonah. He couldn’t imagine not enjoying it, but…

“I don’t know.” He admitted. “I mean, I want this more than anything. And…” He sighed and pressed his face against Jonah’s shoulder. “I just I want it to be good.”

A soft chuckle rumbled in Jonah’s chest. “Baby, good won’t even begin to describe it.” He leaned back and lifted Noble’s chin, kissing his mouth. “I guarantee your mind will be blown.” He slid his thumb across Noble’s lower lip and whispered sincerely, “Trust me?”

“I do.” Noble murmured.

“I like how you say that.” Jonah kissed him. “I do.”

Jonah’s implication caused the butterflies to go into another frenzy. When Noble had first proposed to Rebecca, his “excitement” hadn’t begun to rival what now raced through him, making his heart go crazy. He didn’t know if Jonah was just playing right now, in saying that, but the thought of one being the man’s husband caused all kinds of funny, wonderful sensations to course through him.

“How about…” Jonah slowly plucked loose the top buttons of Noble’s shirt. “You get undressed, crawl into bed…” He kissed his lips and continued opening his shirt. “And I’ll go get us a bottle of champagne to start this off properly? Sound good?”

“Mm-Hm.” Noble moaned through their kiss.

A single lamp lit the bedroom, turned low and creating a soft, romantic atmosphere. Jonah left the bedroom and Noble approached the bed. He finished unfastening the front of his shirt then slipped it off. His gaze drifted around the shadowed room as he opened his pants and stepped out of them. Such a short while back, all of this would have felt wrong. Guilt and shame would have been crashing down on him right about now, stamping out any joy or excitement he was feeling. And even if he would have been able to ward it off for the night – come morning, the conviction would have been unbearable.

But not tonight, not tomorrow…not ever again.

He slipped out of his briefs and slid between the sheets beneath the light comforter. He wasn’t sure what it was about this bed that felt so much different than the bed downstairs, but it was heavenly; the slick cool sheets against his bare skin, the softness of the mattress. Even the pillows seemed thicker. He closed his eyes and smiled, certain that only sweet dreams awaited him in this bed. His body shifted against the satin sheets and the mere sensation of the sleek fabric caressing his nude skin caused a prominent arousal. A soft groan stuck in his throat as he imagined making love to Jonah between these sheets.

“Mmm.” Jonah appeared in the bedroom doorway and Noble opened his eyes. The man gazed at him with fire in his eyes – and a rush of love. “You are a beautiful sight lying there in my bed.” He smiled and walked over, setting a silver ice bucket on the nightstand, inside which rested a champagne bottle. He carried two champagne glasses in his other hand and set them beside the bucket. “Correction.” He said. “I meant to say our bed.”

Noble said nothing as he watched him fill the glasses, set one on the stand and hand the other to Noble. He sipped the bubbly drink and continued to watch the man as Jonah shed his clothes down to nothing. Though this wasn’t the first time he’s seen him naked, it almost felt like it was. Jonah smiled when he noticed Noble watching him, then slid between the sheets and picked up his glass off the stand. He scooted closer and kissed Noble softly on the mouth then took a drink of the champagne.

“I want to say something, Noble.” He murmured and brushed his fingertips through Noble’s hair. “And maybe at this point it isn’t necessary. But I want to say it anyway.”

“Okay.” Noble whispered.

His hand drifted to Noble’s face, his thumb caressing his lips. “I love you, and I want to be with you, always…forever. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. And I pray with all my heart I never have to know how that feels…to not have you here with me.” He kissed him softly, his lips lingering. When he drew back, he set his glass on the stand again then opened the narrow drawer and took out a small black velvet box.

Noble’s heart stalled and almost didn’t start again when Jonah opened the box to reveal a plain silver band. He looked at Noble and lifted the ring from its velvet casing. “I bought this the day after our first date.” He murmured. “And had planned to give it to you that night…which was supposed to be our first time making love.” He twisted the ring slowly in his fingertips. “This was the reason I didn’t take you home with me the night of our date…which I have sorely regretted since. But I wanted to be sure that you understood how important you were to me, and how serious I was about us.”

Jonah lifted Noble’s left hand and slid the ring on his finger. “For now,” he said softly, “It only has to mean as much as you want it to mean. But it’s my promise to you that I will never want anyone else, I will always love you and only you. And when you’re ready for it to be more than just a promise ring, and you’re ready for me to fulfill that promise…then it can advance to engagement ring.” He kissed Noble and whispered, “But only when you’re ready, baby. I know you’ve taken some huge steps in a very short amount of time, and you need time to adjust, settle in. I will never push you to do something you’re not ready for yet. But,” He smiled and kissed him again. “When you’re ready…I’m ready.”

An excruciatingly wonderful ache squeezed Noble’s heart and brought on the tears. Had this been an all-out marriage proposal, there was no doubt in Nobles mind that he would have accepted without hesitation. But the way Jonah brought it to him just made him fall in love with the man all over again.

“Does this…work for you?” Jonah smiled and raised his hand, kissing the ring. “Are you okay with wearing it?”

Noble licked his lips then set aside his glass.

“If you’re not, it’s okay-”

Noble kissed him, sliding his arms around his neck and pressing his body close, stealing away his words. Groaning, Jonah wrapped him in a smothering embrace and deepened their kiss, his hands caressing Noble’s back, rubbing firmly against his warm skin.

When they finally drew back, he trembled in Jonah’s arms. “You ask silly questions.” Noble whispered unsteadily, smiling softly.

“Can I ask another silly question?” Jonah dipped in and kissed his throat.

“Mm-Hm.” Noble shuddered.

“Do you want to make love?”

 

 


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