Holding On & Letting Go
“You're the one who took my hand
When no one else could understand
You're the one who moves me
Like nobody else can…
You can be a part of me
'Cause you're what love was meant to be
Take me down where I wanna be
Turn around, this man who lives inside of me
Take me down and love me all night long
Hold me close and make me strong
Take me down, take me down tonight.”
- Take Me Down, ALABAMA
Noble closed his eyes as the warm evening air caressed more and more of his bare flesh as Jonah finished undressing him, sliding his pants down his legs to his ankles. He gripped the man’s shoulders and stepped free. Jonah tossed the pants aside then rubbed his hands slowly up his legs, taking his time, his warm, sensual touch heightening Noble’s arousal. He was certain he couldn’t get any harder, thicker, longer…but as Jonah began to touch his lips to his legs, moving closer and closer to where Noble needed him to be, his passion for the man continued to swell and grow.
He realized he was clutching Jonah’s hair in a death grip, and forced his fingers to relax a little. His breath skipped and shuddered up his tight throat, almost wheezing as it seemed there wasn’t enough room for the air to flow in and out. Jonah’s warm, wet tongue slid along the crease of his leg at the top of his thigh, his chin brushing against his firm sack. His cock jumped, grazing Jonah’s smooth shaven face. A hard groan stuttered at the back of Noble’s throat, his jaw beginning to clench as the man caressed his legs, taking his agonizingly sweet time working his way to his destination.
Noble ached to just grab his head and direct him, tell him exactly what he wanted – and he was pretty sure Jonah would love that – but he wasn’t quite there yet, where he could really take control. But he was equipped to beg. “Jonah…please…”
The tip of his tongue touched the base of Noble’s member, teasing the thick, hard muscle. His cock jumped again and he swore hardened even more. “Please what?” Jonah murmured, snaking his tongue all around the base then dipping lower to explore his tightening balls.
Noble panted, eyes squeezing shut. “You know…what.” His fingers tightened once more in the man’s hair.
“Say it.” He could hear the smile in Jonah’s voice. “Look me in the eye and tell me what you want, baby.” He began to kiss along the rope of muscle on the underside of Noble’s cock, working towards the tip. Clear juice trickled from the head and Jonah’s tongue caught it, savoring his flavor, moaning. “You don’t have to be shy about it, or embarrassed…I want to hear you say it.”
The words were right there in his mind, on his tongue, but his lips refused to release them. “I…can’t.” he trembled. “I’m sorry…I just…”
A soft chuckle drifted out of Jonah and he kissed the sensitive groove under the crown of his cock, causing Noble’s breath to catch, his dick to twitch against the man’s lips. “Oh baby, you apologize for the silliest things.
Opening his eyes slowly, Noble looked down at him. Oh god, he was a beautiful sight kneeling before him, using that perfect mouth to pleasure him. Noble’s vision blurred but a smile curved his lips as he slid his fingers loosely through Jonah’s black hair. “I love you.” He whispered, words strained with intense emotion.
“I’m beginning to believe you.” Jonah murmured and smiled as both hands wrapped gently around Noble’s shaft and he began to stroke him slowly, hand over hand, long, complete strokes from base to head, palms rolling over the firm, damp tip, massaging, squeezing gently until Noble’s chest rose and fell in rapid succession, breath puffing and panting. A satisfied smile twitched Jonah’s lips and he leaned closer, dragging his full tongue across the surface of the cock head.
“Fuck!” Noble gasped sharp, hips jerking in a slight spasm. Again he was clutching Jonah’s hair in his fists, unable to loosen his hold as the man thoroughly licked all around the head of his cock, the tip of his tongue dipping into the tiny hole and coaxing more juice from him. “Oh my god.” Noble choked. He’d had Jonah’s mouth on him once before, but this felt different, more real and intimate. Maybe because the chains that had been binding him before were falling away, and he knew that, come morning – there would be no regrets this time, no shame. He could just let go and enjoy all that Jonah offered, without the guilt.
The sensations coursing through his mind, body and heart was nearly more than Jonah could contain. After the restaurant, the last thing he’d expected of Noble was for the guy to start undressing entirely of his own free will. Jonah had even given him an out, had resigned himself to walking away from this date with some amazing kissing but not much else – not that he would have felt disappointed had it ended that way. Anything he received from Noble was a sweet blessing for which he was grateful. But this…oh god, this was so much more than he had dared to hope for.
Noble trembled beneath his touch and what he wanted most at this very moment was to rush Noble back home with him and make love to him in his own bed, all through the night, not sleeping until they both simply passed out. But he didn’t want to break the spell they were under. Right here, right now, everything was perfect. They could find their way to his bed another time.
The man’s hardness filled up his hands nicely and pulsed against his palms. His hair strained at the roots as Noble squeezed it fiercely in his fists. The feel of his intensity as he clutched and pulled his hair was a shot of sexual adrenaline straight to Jonah’s crotch. His pants were far too confining and he longed to be free of them, but he couldn’t bring himself to free up his hands long enough to strip them off just yet.
Soft, tense moans fell from Noble’s lips and his hips shifted, moved slowly back and forth, nudging the head of his cock against Jonah’s mouth as he ran his tongue around the crown, teasing the sensitive tip. Noble’s stomach muscles twitched and jumped with every touch of Jonah’s mouth against his member. With a low, whimpering groan, Jonah wrapped his lips around the head and sucked firmly.
His breath catching hard, Noble gasped, his short nails gouging Jonah’s scalp. His chest hitched as his lips tightened, suppressing a strong whimper, then pushed forward just a little, telling Jonah without words exactly what he wanted, what he needed.
Opening up to the man, Jonah allowed him to push in deeper. “Fuck…yes…” Noble choked on a gasp, his hands sliding to the back of Jonah’s head, cupping firmly, holding him as he began to rock his hips gently, stroking his member in and out of Jonah’s mouth, bumping the head against the back of his throat with the steady thrusts. Jonah’s vision went blurry as his body exploded with ecstasy. His need for the man consumed him and he stroked along with Noble’s thrusts, gripping his ass firmly, pulling him forward, deeper inside, sucking hungrily.
“Uuhh!” Noble shuddered, head dropping back as he clung desperately to Jonah. “Jonah…oh god…baby…fuuuck! Please…don’t stop…oh fuck yes, keep doing it…just like that…”
Jonah worked the back of his tongue against the sensitive spot under his cock head and Noble cried out in sweet agony. “Right there…yes…oh shit….that feels so good.”
Somewhat startled by Noble’s sudden willingness to be so verbal, the man’s words and intensity behind those words was nearly enough to push Jonah over the edge. His crotch throbbed forcefully and one hand dropped, squeezing himself hard through his pants. He knew if Noble released – so would he. And he wasn’t ready just yet for either of them to let go.
Jonah pulled off Noble’s fiercely rigid erection and stood up on shaky legs, hands trembling as he sought to unfasten his pants. Then Noble’s hands were right there helping him, urgent, desperate. As they both fumbled with his pants, he grabbed Noble’s mouth in a hard, passionate kiss. Both he and Noble quickly worked his pants off. He kicked them off his feet then urged Noble into the water.
A slight sharp suck of air down Noble’s throat matched his own gasp as the cool water lapped at their fevered skin. “Shit.” Noble laughed unsteadily as they moved out deeper. “This is cold.”
Jonah wrapped him in his arms and kissed him, the air around them nearly static with sexual tension. “Don’t worry.” He panted into his mouth. “We’ll heat it up.” Noble’s arms went around his neck and he kissed him back with as much intensity. He squeezed the young man’s waist, the muscles flexing and responding to his touch, and pulled him against his body. Noble’s tongue wrapped around Jonah’s own as he sucked at him with urgency.
Fuck, baby, you’re gonna kill me. Jonah groaned and tightened his arms, pushing his hips against Noble, rubbing his stone hard member along the underside of the guy’s rigid shaft. Noble moaned and his body sucked up closer to Jonah’s, the urgency in his kiss, the movement of his hips, all shouting out the man’s need to be satisfied, fulfilled.
Jonah released one arm and reached down between them, wrapping his hand around both their cocks. Noble whimpered, broke the kiss and gasped hard, his forehead dropping against Jonah’s shoulder, hot breath puffing across his wet skin as the young man thrust with his hips, pushing himself through Jonah’s fist, stroking against his stiff member.
As desperately as Jonah needed to be inside his lover, he wanted their first time to be in his home, in his bed.
Jonah gasped when Noble’s teeth gripped his shoulder muscle, biting down with intensity as his nail gouged into his back, his breath puffing and panting as he stroked faster, more urgently. He was close, Jonah could feel it in the tightness of his body, every muscle straining, locking up. Jonah moved with him, matching his strokes, his own body beginning to burn, balls tingling, tightening, pulling up against his body, cum churning and beginning to rise.
“Fuck.” Jonah gasped hard and squeezed his one arm around Noble’s waist, his other hand gripping their pulsing shafts with more force. “Please tell me you’re close, baby.” He shuddered. “I can’t wait…”
Noble responded by clinging to him more fiercely and fucking his fist harder. Strained moans and whimpers began to push up his throat. “Jonah…”
“Just let go, baby.” Jonah trembled, panting, jaw tightening as his body locked up. “Don’t fight it. Just…Uuuhh!!” The orgasm broke suddenly, tearing through him. “Fuuuck!” He squeezed Noble hard in his arm and buried his face in his neck, yelling out loud, thrusting erratically as he came forcefully.
Noble’s fingers dug into his strained back muscles, a strangled wail ripping out of him as his cock swelled in Jonah’s fist and burst with a hard jerk of hips. Jonah released his own shaft and grabbed hold of Noble’s, stroking him urgently as the man choked on his cries, clinging to Jonah, thrusting fiercely into his hand until the orgasm slowly began to release him. Then he was sagging against Jonah’s body, clutching his neck, panting unsteadily. His head dropped down and laid on Jonah’s shoulder, his chest heaving. Warm tears dripped onto Jonah’s wet, fevered skin and slid down his back. He wrapped both arms around Noble and hugged him tight, wishing he could just hold him this way forever, never having to release him from his arms for even a moment.
Jonah’s hard biceps squeezed Noble’s ribs tight enough to steal his breath, but he didn’t ask the man to loosen his hold. Almost begged him to hold him even tighter. I could live inside these arms, never needing anything else. Jonah’s shoulder was hot against his cheek as he gazed out over the water, ripples still rocking the surface from their intense activity, lapping gently at the edge of the bank. “This feels like a dream.” He whispered, disturbing the tender silence.
“It is.” Jonah murmured and kissed his shoulder softly. “A dream come true.”
Noble smiled and closed his eyes. “I could sleep all night, right here, like this.”
“Mmmm.” Jonah rubbed his lips against his neck, inciting a shiver to rush through him. “You wouldn’t get much sleep.” He informed quietly.
Sighing contentedly, Noble replied softly, “I wouldn’t mind.” He raised his head and drew back then kissed Jonah’s lips. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”
Jonah groaned and kissed him back then buried his face in his neck. “You’re making what I need to do very, very difficult.”
Uncertainty pinched Noble’s brow. “What do you need to do?”
Lifting his face, Jonah rubbed the tip of his nose against Noble’s, eyes heavy with want and desire. “I need to not make love to you tonight, for one. And I need to take you back to your apartment, rather than home with me.”
“Why…do you need to do all that?” Noble swallowed thickly, realizing quite suddenly that he had been assuming Jonah would take him to his place tonight. So why was he saying he couldn’t?
“Because,” Jonah murmured, dropping a warm kiss on his lips. “There’s something I need to do before we make love. And I want that first time to be extra special.” He kissed him again and smiled, “Not that tonight isn’t special. Believe me, baby, it so is. But that first time with you…I just want everything to be perfect down to the finest detail.” He kissed him once more, deeper, longer. “But if I’m going to manage that…we should probably get dressed. Because if I hold you much longer, all sexy and naked like you are…” he chuckled softly and groaned, “There’s not a force in heaven or on earth that could stop me from taking you right here.”
And that’s a bad thing? There was no doubt in Noble’s mind that a few properly applied kisses and touches would shove Jonah over the edge and convince him to make love to him now, tonight. But it warmed his heart and filled him with a powerful love for the man to know he loved him enough to want it to be so perfect. Jonah never failed to surprise him, pleasantly so. Once their clothes had come off tonight, he’d been one hundred percent certain they would be making love within a matter of minutes, sure that Jonah would take full advantage of Noble’s willingness to be with him. Yet even with Noble giving him the green light, he hadn’t just rushed in and grabbed up what he’d been wanting all this time.
“How long do we have to wait?” Noble breathed against his mouth. “Because I don’t think I can wait very much longer.” He kissed him, moaning. “I don’t want to.”
“Tomorrow night.” Jonah told him. “There’s no way I can wait any longer than that. And I’ll be lucky to make it till then.”
“You and me both.” Noble groaned, laughing softly.
When they left the water, Noble allowed himself a lingering gaze at Jonah’s nude body, so beautiful glistening in the moonlight, perfectly sculpted like a stone statue of a mythical god. Was it a sin to worship the man you loved? Because at the moment, he could see himself bowing down before this man, praising his beauty, offering love sacrifices.
“I could get used to that look.” Jonah’s soft chuckle pulled Noble’s feet back to the ground.
“What?” he rasped, then cleared his throat.
Jonah walked over to him and cupped his face, kissing his mouth. “That look.” He groaned. “The one that screams out your eternal love for me.” He smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Or am I misinterpreting?”
Shaking his head slowly, Noble ran his fingertips down the man’s bare chest and over the ripples of his chiseled ab muscles. “No.” he whispered. “You’re not misinterpreting it at all.”
When they finally dressed, Noble’s clothes clung haphazardly to his wet body, making him feel confined, even uncomfortable to a degree. He longed to shed them again and go back to being naked with Jonah. It really kind of floored him how at ease he was being so exposed to another man. Not very long ago, he couldn’t have imagined doing something like this without the unbearable weight of guilt and shame crushing down on him.
“You okay?” Jonah cocked his head and smiled.
“Huh?” Noble blinked then nodded, smiling. “Yeah. I’m good.”
Chuckling, Jonah nodded. “Oh yes…you are indeed.”
The drive back to town seemed to pass in a moment’s notice and too soon they were parked out front of Noble’s apartment building. “Want me to walk you to your door?” Jonah smiled, reaching over to cup the back of his neck and draw him into a warm kiss.
Noble moaned. “Not if you’re serious about waiting till tomorrow.” He murmured. “’Cause if you get as far as my door…I’m not letting you leave.”
Laughing low, Jonah nodded slowly. “I wouldn’t be trying to.” He admitted. “Like I said, I’m not good with this resisting temptation thing.”
Noble ducked his head and grinned, warmth spreading through him, filling him with a quiet joy that the man found him so hard to resist.
Lips touched his ear. “So…did you have a good time on our date?”
His lips pressing tight, Noble smiled and shrugged, “It was all right.”
Jonah drew back and Noble looked up at him, his smile twisting his lips. Jonah laughed and groaned, “Don’t tell me you’re going to start busting my chops.”
Licking his lips, Noble shrugged again. “No promises.” Then laughed when Jonah grabbed him and squeezed him in his arms.
“So you got a little cocky boy in you, do you?” Jonah nuzzled his neck, making Noble squirm and laugh.
“Tomorrow night I will.” He snickered. “Or maybe not so little.”
“Oh fuck.” Jonah laughed hard and squeezed him again, then kissed his lips. “I think I like this new Noble.” He kissed him again, then murmured, “Or perhaps it isn’t the new you…but rather the real you. Ya think?”
“Maybe.” Noble smiled, his heart pounding. He felt high in Jonah’s presence. How had he lived all his life suppressing this…freedom? He touched Jonah’s face, caressing his cheek. “Promise me something?”
Jonah turned his head and kissed his palm. “Anything, baby.”
“Don’t ever let me go back.” He whispered.
“To the way I was before.” Noble said thickly. “I don’t want to be that person anymore, ever again. I just want to…stay here with you. Feeling the way I do right now.” He swallowed hard. “I know that I’m not…completely fixed.” He hugged Jonah, chest tightening. “If I have a setback…or whatever…please don’t let me go, okay? Right here…this is who I really am. Even if for some reason I start to think it isn’t. Please remember that and…hold onto me.”
Jonah embraced him and held him close. “As far as we’ve come, baby.” He whispered. “There is no way in hell I would ever let you go.” He pulled back and cupped his face. “I promise. Whatever happens along the way, we’ll deal with together. I’ll never give up on you.”
Jonah’s promise warmed Noble’s heart, soothed his mind, as he climbed the stairs to his second floor apartment, his clothes still pulling against his slightly damp skin. Exhaustion fogged his brain and all he wanted right now was to fall into bed and slip into sweet dreams of the man he loved.
At his door, he slid the key into the lock – and stiffened when he found it already unlocked. There was no mistaking he had locked it when he’d left. His gut pinched; Rebecca was the only other person who had a key.
Oh God, please not this. Tonight is too perfect to be ruined. But he couldn’t stand out in the hall forever. He entered the apartment quietly, took a deep breath then released it slowly and walked to the kitchen, the only room with a light on. Coming to the doorway, he steeled himself for whatever argument she might pose.
Sighing heavily, a touch of annoyance needling his heart that such a perfect night was about to be tainted, he stepped into the kitchen – and froze, his pulse skyrocketed so suddenly he had to grab the door frame as a strong wave of dizziness rushed over him. His throat knotted and closed, stomach pinching with instant nausea as he whispered, “Dad?”
© Copyright 2017 AMS1971. All rights reserved.
Book / Gay and Lesbian
Book / Gay and Lesbian
Book / Gay and Lesbian