Made To Be Broken

Made To Be Broken

Status: Finished

Genre: Gay and Lesbian

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Gay and Lesbian

Summary

At age 14, Noble Richmond becomes devastatingly aware that he is gay. Being raised in a Christian home and church, Noble believes that being gay is a sin, and desperately seeks God's healing and deliverance – telling no one of his secret. Now, nine years later, Noble is engaged to a Christian girl, Rebecca, who he believes he is genuinely in love with. Convinced that God has answered his prayers and delivered him from the sin of homosexuality, Noble sees his future with Rebecca as bright and promising. But when Rebecca's step-brother, Jonah, shows up at their engagement party – Noble is forced to question his deliverance and finds himself struggling with emotions and desires he insists is not natural for one man to feel for another.

Summary

At age 14, Noble Richmond becomes devastatingly aware that he is gay. Being raised in a Christian home and church, Noble believes that being gay is a sin, and desperately seeks God's healing and deliverance – telling no one of his secret. Now, nine years later, Noble is engaged to a Christian girl, Rebecca, who he believes he is genuinely in love with. Convinced that God has answered his prayers and delivered him from the sin of homosexuality, Noble sees his future with Rebecca as bright and promising. But when Rebecca's step-brother, Jonah, shows up at their engagement party – Noble is forced to question his deliverance and finds himself struggling with emotions and desires he insists is not natural for one man to feel for another.

Chapter28 (v.1) - Come A Little Bit Closer

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: March 07, 2014

Reads: 682

Comments: 3

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: March 07, 2014

A A A

A A A

Come A Little Bit Closer

 

Just leave with me now, Say the word and we'll go.
I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes.
You'll see a side of love you've never known.
I can see it going down, going down.

In my head, I see you all over me.
In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.
In my head, you'll be screaming out.
In my head, it's going down.”

- In My Head, JASON DERULO

___________________________

 

 

Jonah took them out of the city and found an out of the way spot where they parked under the open sky with only the stars and trees to watch them. Noble listened to the tic of the engine as they sat in silence for a moment. He wasn’t sure what would happen between them tonight, or what he even wanted to happen. His want to be with Jonah – in every way – was genuine. But what if his mind couldn’t handle a step quite that big, this soon?

“Do you want to get out?” Jonah asked quietly and reached across, taking Noble’s hand. “Breathe in some night air?” He kissed his hand and smiled. There was nothing suggestive in the smile, just tenderness and warmth.

“Yeah.” Noble whispered.

Out in front of the car was a small pool, the surface shimmering in the moonlight. Jonah took his hand and led him to the edge of the water, then wrapped his arms around him from behind, kissing the back of his neck. “Nice, isn’t it?”

Noble nodded slowly and covered Jonah’s hands. “How did you know about this place?”

A soft chuckle rumbled Jonah’s chest and he kissed his neck. “Are you really asking me if I’ve brought other men here?”

Noble hesitated; was that what he wanted to know? If so, he wasn’t going to admit it. “No, I didn’t mean…”

Jonah laughed softly and hugged him tighter. “Well, to answer the question you weren’t asking…no, I haven’t brought other men here.” He rubbed his lips across Noble’s ear. “The truth is…I haven’t even been out with anyone in a very long time. And the last time was just one date and that was it. The guy was all right, but there were no sparks, no…nothing.” He smiled and murmured, “And before you don’t ask…no, I didn’t sleep with him. I know it’s old fashioned and probably quite out of date these days, but…” He leaned around and kissed Noble’s cheek. “I really prefer to be in love with the guy I take to my bed.”

Noble couldn’t stop the fierce pounding of his heart. The thought of being in Jonah’s bed, naked beneath the sheets with him…He closed his eyes tight as his body responded to that image. Jonah’s chest rose and fell, swelling and deflating against his back as the man’s breath quickened a bit, no doubt envisioning the same thing as him. He swallowed thick when he felt Jonah harden a little as he pressed close to his body.

“I don’t…think that’s old fashioned.” Noble whispered thickly. “I think it’s…a rare quality that one doesn’t find very often these days.”

Jonah touched his lips to his shoulder and lingered. “Can I ask you something?” he murmured. Noble nodded. “I don’t know, it may be a stupid question…or not. But…were you ever tempted by Rebecca? Tempted to make love to her?”

Though he didn’t have to stop and think about the answer, neither did he reply immediately. He’d convinced himself that his lack of temptation was due to his dedication to his relationship with God, as well as his respect for Rebecca. He wouldn’t even consider that he just wasn’t attracted to her that way.

“You don’t have to answer.” Jonah said softly and kissed his shoulder. “It isn’t any of my business, and doesn’t concern us.”

“No.” Noble murmured. “I wasn’t tempted. I thought…” he smiled and shrugged, “I thought it was because I was such a devoted Christian. Guess I was just fooling myself.”

“You are a devoted Christian, Noble.” Jonah told him softly. “Don’t ever doubt that.”

Swallowing tightly, Noble whispered, “My actions lately don’t back it up.”

“And what heinous sins have you been committing?” Jonah wondered, smiling.

Sighing, Noble leaned back against Jonah’s chest and weaved their fingers together. “Being with you when I was still committed to Rebecca. And…” He licked his lips slowly. “And not feeling nearly as guilty as I should have. And wishing I was with you when I was with her.”

“Listen, baby.” Jonah turned him around and slipped his arms around his waist. “Maybe we didn’t do things all proper like. And I’m not going to stand here and try to make excuses for either of us. I’m sure we both deserved a good, hard slap from God.” He kissed his mouth softly. “But sometimes, Noble…a man in your situation has to work out how he feels, who he is. It’s confusing, and difficult, and sometimes people get hurt. It stinks, but it’s reality. The real blame here is not on you…but on those who made you feel like you couldn’t just be yourself. That’s what made you hide away, forced you to convince yourself you were in love with a woman.” He kissed him again. “And no, it wasn’t fair to Rebecca…but it wasn’t fair to you either. You weren’t equipped to accept who you were, so you tried to adapt. And if you were deceiving anyone…it was you. You have a good heart, baby. You weren’t trying to hide from Rebecca and deliberately not tell her the truth. You just believed you were someone that you weren’t.”

There was a measure of relief in hearing those words from someone else. When he tried to tell them to himself…there was a little voice inside that insisted he was just trying to make excuses for himself, exempt himself from guilt and the responsibility of his actions. But hearing Jonah speak it out loud…the words made sense. It hurt to think that he might have deliberately deceived Rebecca just so he could feel normal.

“Thank you.” He whispered and kissed Jonah on the mouth.

“Anytime, baby.” Jonah smiled and kissed him back, pulling him in deeper, arms tightening. A soft groan filled the man’s throat and his body pushed snug against Noble’s, his arousal growing. Noble hoped that being tempted didn’t mean his relationship with God was breaking down…because right here and now, he was burning up with temptation, wanting Jonah like he’d never wanted anyone in his life.

“Want to go skinny dipping?” Jonah murmured against his lips, smiling.

Noble tensed in his arms. “What?” His throat suddenly felt full of cotton; go swimming with Jonah…naked? That wasn’t an effective resistance to temptation.

“You heard me.” Jonah breathed warmly in his ear, causing Noble to shiver with delight. The man took his breath away when he was fully clothed. Noble wasn’t sure his heart could hold up to seeing him in all his glory. But oh, God knew, he wanted to see him that way. But then that was the problem, wasn’t it? God knew.

 

......................

 

The want in the young man was unmistakable. Jonah could see it, sense it and, oh hell yes, feel it as well. Just a little nudge and Noble would tumble over that ledge. But as sweet and intoxicating as that would be – Noble needed to take that plunge himself, without being pushed. And though he wasn’t putting up much of a fight…he was still battling it all to a degree. Except now, it wasn’t because he felt disgusting at the prospect of being with a man, but because – as Jonah had just pointed out – he truly was devoted to God. And whether his prospective lover was a man or a woman…if Noble wasn’t married to them – he knew it was wrong to go there.

Problem was – there was no way in hell Jonah could wait that long. He supposed he would if he really, truly had to. And he wouldn’t want Noble doing anything with him that he would later regret and wished he could undo. But standing here with him now, both of them burning with the intense need to just be together, throw off all restraints and inhibitions and just cut loose…Jonah could barely control his own hands and resist the urge to start peeling off Noble’s clothes. The guy would let him, he knew this. But this wasn’t his call.

Rather than force Noble to continue to battle the temptation, Jonah said quietly, “Maybe we should just go.” He kissed him softly. “We can always come back another time…when we’re both ready.” He loosened his arms and stepped back, taking hold of Noble’s hands. “It’s okay, baby. I know this all happening so fast for you. Take your time. When you finally get to that place…I want it to feel right for us both. I know you regretted what happened between us before…and I hated how that felt. So don’t ever think I want you to do something that you’re not ready to do.”

Noble just looked at him, moonlight glinting off the thin film of tears in his eyes – eyes filled with so much love and gratitude that it crippled his heart. Noble had clearly never had anyone show him such patience and understanding before, and that broke Jonah’s heart. Twenty-three years on this earth, in this life…and this was the first time he was handed a get out of jail free card.

“Come on.” Jonah smiled warmly and nodded back towards the car. “We should go before I lose control.” Noble smiled and raised an eyebrow. Oh god, baby, don’t do that. It’s way too sexy. “Hey, I’ve never been so good at the whole resisting temptation thing. Might as well admit it. God already knows.”

Noble just stared at him, clearly amused. Groaning, Jonah chuckled and turned away, walking back towards the car. When he realized Noble wasn’t following, he stopped and turned back. His mind and heart went static when he saw Noble slip off his shoes, then peel away his jacket and drop it on the grass. Oh god…don’t toy with me. His crotch throbbed, cock thumping in shorts as any space inside there quickly diminished as Noble held his eyes and his fingers moved down the front of his shirt, popping loose one button after another.

His breath quickening, Jonah walked back towards him slowly. “Don’t be teasing me now.” He murmured with a rasp to his voice. “That isn’t nice.”

Noble continued to stare at him silently and unfasten the last few buttons of his shirt, then slowly peeled it off, letting it drop down on top of his jacket. He stood unmoving. “I hope you were serious.” He whispered, a tremor to his words. “About the swim. Otherwise…I’m going to be very embarrassed.”

The guy’s voice shook with a nervous laugh as a sliver of uncertainty darkened his eyes. Jonah smiled and shrugged his jacket loose, tossing it on the grass. “You better believe I was serious.” He kicked off his shoes along the way then tugged the hem of his shirt from the waist of his pants, dragging it up over his head with no patience to unbutton it. It fell away somewhere behind him as he stepped up close to Noble and rubbed his hands lightly down his bare arms. The man’s skin prickled beneath his touch and a shiver rushed through him, which turned Jonah on to no ends.

When Noble’s fingertips touched his chest tentatively, he suffered his own case of the shivers and bumpy skin. “You don’t have to do this.” He trembled. But oh god, baby, please don’t change your mind now. I don’t think I could survive that. “I’ll understand.” And he would, but oh hell, it would be a painful understanding.

“I know.” Noble moved closer and flattened his palms against Jonah’s thick chest then kissed the base of his throat. “That’s why I want to.”

Oh god, baby, thank you. Jonah cupped his face and kissed him deeply. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad for that.” He groaned softly. “’Cause I think I might actually die if you got my hopes this high and then dropped me. Baby, that’s too great a fall for me to survive.”

Noble smiled and kissed his collar bone, the lower curve of his neck, his chest pushing against Jonah’s, stiff nipples pressing into Jonah’s firm flesh. The man’s fingertips played up and down his back through the furrow of muscle along his spine.

“Fuck, baby.” Jonah groaned and knew he had to get out of his pants soon before the seams of the crotch began tear from the immense internal pressure. He slipped his hands down between them and slowly unfastened Noble’s pants, waited for just a moment to see if he would tense, resist. But when he merely went on kissing all over his neck and shoulder, Jonah continued, sliding the zipper down. He refused the urge to slip his hands down inside and handle Noble’s hardened member, but rather sank to his knees and slowly dragged his pants and briefs down over his hips, leaning in to plant warm kisses on his stomach.

Noble’s breath quickened considerably and his ab muscles quivered and jerked each time Jonah’s lips pressed against them. Short breaths puffed from the man’s mouth, his fingers sinking into Jonah’s hair, twisting around the ebony strands. Jonah pushed his fingers beneath the back of Noble’s pants, urging them down further, his hands sliding over his firm rear as his cheeks fit into his palms perfectly. Leaving his pants half way off his butt, he rubbed up his back and pulled him closer, kissing his stomach and chest. Noble whimpered and squeezed fistfuls of Jonah’s hair.

That’s it, baby, pull my hair…I don’t mind. Just turns me on all the more.

As if reading his mind, Noble clutched tighter as Jonah slid his hands back down and continued with his mission to disrobe his lover.

 


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