The Unkept

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Contemporary erotica

Sitting at a side table in her hotel room, Patsy lit a cigarette, with a shaky hand and red-smeared lipstick, she smoked. Patsy, now clutching her bathrobe hanging loose, exposing one of her breasts, pulled the material back up to cover herself. The shower in the hotel-room bathroom turned off, and she refrained from glancing over to the young man drying off his body with the hotel towels.

(This is a fictional sample of writing. I do not intend to be held liable for the pleasure of writing it. All comments, likes, and more are highly favorable!)


Sitting at a side table in her hotel room, Patsy lit a cigarette, with a shaky hand and red-smeared lipstick. She smoked. Patsy, now clutching her bathrobe hanging loose, exposing one of her breasts, pulled the material back up to cover herself. The shower in the hotel-room bathroom turned off, and she refrained from glancing over to the young man drying off his body with the hotel towels.

“Man Patsy, who knew you’d have it in you,” the man said with a chuckle, now brushing his wet-slick hair back. 

“What can I say…my daughter has good taste in men,” Patsy said with a sigh.

“Aw, that’s sweet,” he chuckled, “I didn’t know I was so handsome.”


“True,” the man chuckled on.

“Now, I need you to gather your things, and never step foot into my house again. Stay away from Caroline.”

“But baby, I thought we just started having fun…”

“You thought wrong…I could never let Caroline be with a slut of a thing like you.”

“A s-slut?” he stammered.

“Get out,” she hollered. The man now rushing his clothes on, looked over at Patsy who was a beautiful vintage woman sitting haggard by her middle-aged expression and cigarette smoke. He shook his head, still smiling as he grabbed his belongs. Caroline, Patsy’s daughter, was still expecting him to pick her up from her shift in an hour, and so he hesitated at the door.

“Should I pick her up then or—”

“I’ll get her! Now git.”

The man, gulped before heading out, with weasel’s smirk sliding over his lips. He’d just banged one of the wealthiest women in town, unashamed that he was now made into the ex of her young daughter. Patsy, who was known to do this, sat defeated still, thinking of how her daughter never knew why she couldn’t keep em. Her daughter, was very beautiful herself, with a similar face structure to Patsy except for her father’s eyes.

Caroline, didn’t fall in love anymore, knowing one of these days her new acquaintance would disappear. While she was busy cleaning up another table at the Gallburn Diner, Patsy was buttoning up her flowy white shirt. She didn’t know what she’d tell Caroline, but knew she’d just pretend she had no understanding of what was going on. That always worked for Patsy, to play dumbfounded while her daughter would cry…though Caroline’s tears became less and less.

This felt good to Patsy, to break down her daughter in such a way, as if she could feel her beauty was incomparable to Caroline’s. Even worse, as Patsy put her cigarette box into her pocket and found her wallet on the bed, she secretly hoped that this time Caroline would discover the truth. For no reason, other than narcissism, Patsy shook her pushed tears away, and fixed her makeup in the mirror, avoidant of any previous emotion she had expressed to the fine man she’d just rode.

“Mama’s coming…” Patsy said, now walking confidently to her convertible mustang. The drive to the diner was an easy one, and Patsy felt confident now to pretend again, as she waited patiently at the light before the final turn. She smiled, and checked her eyes in the rear-view mirror, sure that they weren’t bloodshot from the mini bottles of booze she’d downed with her last companion.

Caroline looked out the window and saw her mother pull into the lot, then she turned back to the new dish washer who’d been talking her ear off every time he got to come out to collect more dishes. His name was Stephen, and he had one of those smiles that made you wonder if he was slow, however his face was oddly attractive despite this. Caroline, had become friends with him, even handing him her number finally. She wrote the numbers in thick sharpie on a napkin, unknowing that her mother was watching from the driver’s seat of her stang.

Patsy felt a fit begin in her, seeing at how Caroline smiled back to this stranger, now looking down at her daughter with a smile. They were talking and giggling, as he followed Caroline to the door. She handed him her apron and waved goodbye before stepping outside on the patio. To her shock, she saw her mother leering at her with a red face.

“What are you doing here mom?” Caroline said.

“I’m here to pick you up instead of what’s his name…”

“Oh…” Caroline said, almost sad but not shocked.

“Oh? Don’t you want to know where he is? No child of mine should be stood up like this!”

“It’s okay I guess. I’m used to it.”

Patsy then pursed her lips, and smiled. She liked how tired her daughter’s eyes were, almost like her own, aside from the shade of green they sported. Caroline got into the passenger side of the mustang, and Patsy spun off quickly, knowing the eyes of the man inside was watching. The ride home was very quiet, as Caroline didn’t have much to say. She knew more than Patsy realized, and knew not to trigger her mother’s anger-fits with any questions.

That night Caroline could hear her mother humming from the master bedroom. While she lay rather sad on her bed in deep thought, Patsy was bathing in a bubble bath, singing and lathering soap on her skin. Caroline knew not to wait for a call, or a message from her last boyfriend. She knew not to get attached to him. When she was working, she’d gotten the call herself, before Patsy pulled in the lot…

“Hey, you were right about your mother…”

“That’s unfortunate…”

“Yeah, she gave me a hundred dollar bill before we hit it off, and then told me to scram afterwards. Anyways she’s on her way now.”

“Okay. Hey Luke?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“I’ll get you another hundred next week at midterms. Thanks for…” Caroline hung on her words, feeling guilty now.

“For being your slut? Ha-ha, I’d do it again Carol…Your mom, man…your mama…”

“Please! Spare me the details perv.”

“Ah hell, you know that was going to be a part of it Caroline, you’re not as stupid as the boys keep saying…”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Yeah, sure thing, I mean if you really want to, we too, could, uh, you know go out for real sometime…”

“No Luke, I don’t fuck anyone that’s fucked my mother…at least not anymore.”


“Goodnight then.”

“Sure thing, see you then.”

Caroline pulled a favor that made her heart hurt, but it needed to be done. She paid Luke to pretend to be her boyfriend, flaunting him when she could in front of her mother. After having lost a few boyfriends, to what she realized may be at Patsy’s fault, she needed someone to play as bait.

It all started with her first boyfriend of almost two years. She had just graduated high-school then, and gotten into a tumultuous relationship with a fellow graduate whom she’d fallen madly in love with. He was handsome too, even more attractive than Luke, and was someone she thought she could possibly marry one day. Patsy broke out into song, stopping Caroline from remembering the details.

But she couldn’t help herself now, remembering the way he stood in the rain outside her house, heartbroken as he looked back and forth from her window to her mothers. She’d broken up with him herself, and he had in-turn thrown a fit of such size that made her suspicions of him feel right. Weeks before their break-up, Caroline’s mother had stopped by the old house her ex would live in as one of his families’ owned properties. She said she wanted to pick Caroline up for dinner. Nothing of this felt wrong to Caroline at first, since this became a usual habit.

Her mother would stop by, and steal her boyfriend’s attention, and Caroline thinking how lucky she was that everyone was getting along would sit between their longing stares with a innocent smile. Her ex, was named Gerald. He was planning on joining the military, and wanted Caroline to write him while he was away. This was something he was discussing with her mother in fact, as they spoke over Caroline on the couch.

Once the conversation came to an end, Caroline was helped up by Gerald and moved to the side by the door. From the corner of her eyes, she watched the way he took his time with Patsy. He helped her up, with a kiss to her hand and a sly smile, which was normal behavior until Caroline noticed his other hand pull up his white t-shirt, revealing the happy trail from the muscle of his lower abdomen down to his unbuttoned pants. If Caroline had only looked further, she might have noticed an erection bulging at his pants, but she looked up in agony with confusion. She kept very quiet on the car ride home that day.

She found herself as she was now, recalling all the signs of Gerald being to forward with her mother. It didn’t take much for her to assume, when he’d stop by the house weekly to do maintenance checks on their sink, or laundry machines, while Caroline would be busy with book-club, he’d really be stopping by to fuck her mother. Caroline found herself holding her breathe now, with both hands pressed over her chest in pain. She’d lost two more boyfriends after that in such a similar manner, she had to do something!

Her mother, was so insensitive about it, not even realizing how absent Caroline’s behavior became in the house. No more lights, no more bringing friends over, and no more late-night movies. Caroline could not believe her mother was capable of such behavior, how she threw a huge dinner to help Caroline “move on” beyond Gerald, and bought her new work slacks for the diner the day after their break-up.

This was so wrong. Caroline was absolutely torn now, having the evidence to prove her mother guilty. Now knowing of her mother’s selfishness, Caroline wasn’t sure how she would confront her. She just needed to know, why after Gerald, then Johny, then Vinny…how could her mother keep smiling to her face?

Caroline never recalled her mother having a reason to hate her, but as the time went on, she realized her mother had an acute sense of pride about her looks that Caroline hadn’t noticed before. It’d be the way her mother would look at her as she walked past her, or if she’d let down her hair and be caught brushing it, Patsy would linger, putting her fingers through it with a twitch. Caroline wasn’t sure if she should feel scared, or not, if she just didn’t bring another man over… could she live with her mother’s mistakes? She decided she wasn’t ready to confront her.

A knock came at the door. Before Caroline could let her mother in, Patsy walked in of her own accord. She had a fresh face of makeup on, a towel wrapped around her head, and a slim-fitted red dress on. She wore golden heels, and gold earring clips.

“Now my sweet baby, mama’s going out tonight. I think you ought to be in bed soon as your early shift is tomorrow.”

“Yes mom,” Caroline whispered past a lump of anger in her throat.

“Now sit up, you know you don’t look pretty with your hair tussled back in a golden mess over the bed…”

“Golden?” Caroline asked.

“Yes dear…just like how my hair used to be, but yours is hardly in volume as mine was. Might want to condition it more…or something.”

“Oh… so where are you going tonight?”

“Just the local bars for a drink. I might meet up with someone and if I do, I’ll have enough fair for a cab.”


“Now don’t you wait up,” Patsy said, pulling the towel off her head and shaking her hair around the room before leaving.

“Don’t worry…” Caroline whispered, feeling alone in her utter disgust.


The next few weeks were quiet between them, and Caroline could tell her mother was getting bored. Patsy even had the audacity to ask Caroline where Luke had run off to, the same way she had asked about the others. Caroline, left her answers short, before turning away to do something else. At midterms she handed Luke a hundred bill in front of his jock friends from the college football team, and they all snickered as she left.

All of Caroline’s hard work began to drain her, and one evening she found herself crying behind the diner, using her apron so wipe snot from her perky nose. The dish washer, now on break, came to her side concerned, giving her a few tissues, he kept for himself in a wrinkly jean pocket. Caroline hadn’t told anyone about her mother. She shook from fear of the things she wanted to do in revenge, but kept reminding herself she was better than her mother. Eventually she found herself sobbing in Stephen’s big hug on the curb they sat on. He held her, gently resting his chin on top of her head.

“What’s all this now?” Stephen asked, brushing his blonde hair into his hat.

“My mother…My god Stephen, I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Now hold on, what did she do?”

“If I told you, you’d leave me for her.”

“That’s a bit much, don’t you agree?” Stephen asked gently, “Why would I leave you for her, no offence, but she isn’t really my type,” he joked on.

“If you knew what she has done to me…. if you knew, you’d do what all my ex’s have done.”

“You’re kidding…” he said shocked now.

Everyone knew who Patsy was, but no one thought of her as a woman who’d take from her daughter, let alone her daughter’s boyfriends. Stephen sat quiet now, gently petting at Caroline’s blonde hair. He adjusted his bleach dyed hat again, letting his own blonde hair fall at his eyes, and stared forward, lost in thought about how good it felt to hold a girl in his arms even if she were a crying mess. What a scandal he thought to himself over her sobs.

“So, you’re not taken then,” he asked.

“I can’t Stephen, she’s done this to me about three times now…the last boyfriend was a trap.”

“Oh,” Stephen said, “how so?”

“I paid someone to be my boyfriend, just to be sure that it was her who had been running them off…comes to find out, she fucks them behind my back and…enjoys it.”

“Jesus…Caroline, I’m so sorry…”

“Well, I’m not sorry anymore,” Caroline said, pulling herself from his arms, and readying herself for her ending shift. Stephen helped her off the curb to her feet and pulled his apron off. Caroline, wiping her tears with her own, looked up at him with confusion. He put his hands up for her to wait and went into the restaurant alone. When he came back out, he held his big goofy smile and started to untie Caroline’s apron.

“I talked with Alan, and he says we can leave early today…”

“Oh, but I—”

“Look Caroline, I know I’m no Luke….and I’m especially nothing like that decorated cowboy, Gerald that everyone knows won some award in war or some bull like that, but I am capable of showing a girl a good time. And that’s what you need Caroline, you need someone who chooses you for you alone.”

“So, you’re doing what? Throwing caution to the wind now just to drag me on some fantasy escapade before my mother slurps you up?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Hmm, I just don’t know Stephen…I practically lost a shifts worth of wages on Luke…”

“With all due respect Caroline, fuck Luke. He’s rotten, so was Gerald, and so was the others!”

Caroline, wiping more tears from her risen cheeks, smiled. She too, fixed her hat and followed Stephen to his beat-up dark green corolla. Stephen with a nervous chuckle, unlocked the passenger door and helped Caroline into his car before jogging around to the driver’s side. What started off magical, sort of died out into a half hour of driving. Stephen then pulled off to a forest park, and lowered the volume of his radio.

“I like this song I think,” Caroline said.

“Oh, you know about Deftones?”

“Just a few songs, but I like this one enough…” Caroline blushed, listening to the music of what she assumed was playing from a CD.

“The truth is…I don’t really know where to bring you, but I wanted to give you a break from the diner.”

“They are staffed well this evening…” Caroline said.

“Yeah, they don’t need us today, do they?”

“No, “Caroline replied almost shyly, smiling.

“Let’s go out then…”


“But wait…do you smoke by any chance?”

“Like, cigarettes?”

“No…” Stephen said, now pulling a joint from his pocket. Caroline, looked warily at the joint but then shook away her uncertainty. Today she decided she was going to smoke, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her. Stephen lifted the joint up suggestively, then lit the tip. He took the first drag and blew smoke gently over Caroline’s face. She sniffled, and felt herself blush.

“You don’t have to try it if you don’t like, it’s just something that calms me after work.”

“I do want to try it. Yeah… I mean, fuck it, what do I have to lose anyways at this point?”

“Now that’s the spirit…Okay Caroline, just breathe in slow…” Stephen said cooly.

Stephen held the joint up for her as she took a small inhale before sputtering in a huge cough. At first, Caroline tasted the sweet wrapper of the joint before the smoke hit the back of her throat, and then in mid-cough she pressed her hand to her chest in fear. Stephen chuckled and took another hit of the joint before gently stamping out the lit end. Then he turned to calm Caroline who now felt dizzy.

“I think I’ll let you try that again later,” Stephen chuckled, now holding Caroline’s hands in his own until she became still. Caroline smiled, a little embarrassed, but nodded in agreeance. Stephen wasn’t sure if she’d feel any affects, but thought Caroline was absolutely adorable now.  

The two got out of the car and walked over to the forest entrance being pointed at by a wooden sign. Caroline, uncaring to read the warning about wildlife on the sign, thought darkly to herself I wouldn’t even care if I were picked off by a bear or shit on by a hawk, it’d still be better than being home with that traitor! Stephen sighed deeply at the beauty of the forest trees, then looked over to find Caroline darkened by her expression.

Her tired eyes and tight full-lips pressed crankily in silence, made Stephen realize that they needed to walk past the ominous sign before the moment could turn bad with tarnished thoughts. Stephen leaned close to Caroline now, and pointed towards a tree that sported a red sparrow perched on a high branch. Caroline, now breaking away from her mind, watched the lovely sparrow adjust it’s wings before flying off to another sitting on an even higher branch. Stephen, then made a bird call to her surprise.

Caroline stared at him in wonder and heard the responsive chirps of the sparrows call back. She looked back at the curious birds, and pointed to them herself, to which they flew off at her fast gesture. Stephen chuckled, and grabbed her hand. He walked her into the forest further, speaking about his favorite songs, and they kept going until they came across a stack of rather large boulders. By then, even Caroline had been lost to his attention, looking around at the little wild flowers that grew up the foot of the boulders.

“If we see a mountain lion or something, tell my family I loved them, because I’ll fight one of them for you, my lady,” Stephen joked.

“Well, I’ll be sure to sacrifice myself for you instead!”

“I’ll let you do no such thing,” Stephen said confidently, pulling Caroline into a quick waltz.

Caroline giggled some, feeling a little foolish, but danced terribly with Stephen until she was pressed up against a boulder like one of those flowers. Stephen, making sure to keep himself tame, kept his hands in his pockets, even though he wanted to loom over her with his hands pressed to the boulder at her sides. She looked up to his gaze slowly, and smiled, her green eyes now big and sweet.

“I’ve never done this with another before,” Caroline whispered.

“You mean to tell me not one of those assholes has taken you out here yet? Isn’t there a lake for kissing somewhere out here for that reason alone?”

“Yeah, something like that…” Caroline said, now looking at him with her mouth cracked open in a small pant.

Stephen, blushed hard at the look in her eyes, afraid of what he just said, again, not wanting to seem desperate. Caroline could tell the train of his thoughts and bit gently at her bottom lip. She pulled him closer to her by the scruff of his shirt, and took in his shock with pleasure. Gently, very gently, she pressed her lips to his. Slowly, they kissed, and then suddenly, they were tongue in-cheek making out with their hands running over the other’s bodies.

Caroline felt herself needy now, wondering how far she could go with Stephen. Right as she put her hand to the bulge building in his pants, they both jumped out of each other’s arms to the buzzing of the cell-phone in Caroline’s pocket. Stephen, shivered with hunger, but kept cool as she flipped open her Motorola with irritation.


“Where the fuck are you, Carolina?” Patsy asked sternly.

“I-I’m out.”

“And with whom do we have the pleasure of being out with?”

“N-no no one!”

“You’re lying darlin. I always know. Now cough it up, princess. Are you with that dumb looking boy from the diner?”

“N-no, but how do you know about him?”

“I saw the way he looked at you Caroline. The boys just eat my face up on you, don’t they?”

“W-why are you saying these things to me mother?”

“Get home missy, by the hour, or I’ll tell Alan you’re quitting.”

“Fine,” Caroline cried, hanging up quickly and throwing her phone to the ground. Now, Caroline knew Stephen to be dorky in his stance and sort of goofy in look, but he went to Caroline’s body with intensity. Before she could let herself cry again, he put both his hands on the side of her face and kissed into her mouth. They made out hard now, where Stephen hoisted Caroline up against the rock to which her legs wrapped around his waist. She’d never felt so high from need before in her life.

Caroline began to moan, weakly, and heated. Stephen, made way with his free hand to unzip his pants. Caroline managed to rip her tights open beneath her work skirt. They kept kissing and breathing, until Stephen pushed the tip of his cock past Caroline’s hot, throbbing pussy lips. Caroline moaned out almost in a scream, as her whole body practically gushed now in sweet sticky juices to the meeting of his torso. A flock of birds flew out from the tops of trees above them, leaving a few speckled feathers to fall around them as they began to keep their rhythmic fucking stern against the boulder.

“Fuck…your fucking perfect Caroline…” Stephen grunted.

“I-I’m fa-fa-far…from…perfect…”


Stephen bit against Caroline’s neck now, leaving about two hickeys between his words. He needed her to know how much he had wanted her, and felt his penis rather engorged to its full hardened length. He wasn’t thinking full thoughts as he fucked, but he knew Caroline had to be his. A vendetta began to form. Caroline’s sweet moans of aching need filled his ears and made him obsessed. Together they came shaking to a climax, of which when Stephen pulled out of her body, she slid down to her feet and lay shaking between him and the boulder.

“You, are perfect…do not listen to that woman. She’s living in the prehistoric times anyways!”

Caroline pulled his mouth to hers again as the tears fell. She secretly spelled her name with her tongue in his mouth, and then pulled away. She never knew Stephen could be so attractive, just by a change of demeanor alone. His words felt so good to hear.

“I-I don’t believe in perfection, but I can tell you this…this…was one of the most perfect moments of my entire life. I feel almost empowered now…Take me home.”

“Yes ma’am,” Stephen said with a smile. He helped Caroline adjust her skirt and picked up her thrown phone. They blasted his CD in the car as he drove, excited yet slow to take as much of her time as he could. Caroline advised him to park a street corner away so she could be dropped off.

She devised a plan of telling her mother she went with someone else, excited to keep Stephen to herself as long as she could. She would be the one making things up now, though she let him know of her plan. Though it was not seemingly good to lie, he knew that for this night, that should be alright.

After Caroline had been out of the car for a good long minute, Stephen pulled up on the other side of the street to her house. He could hear the two in a yelling match and kept quiet. Somehow, he could tell Caroline got away from her mother’s insistency. He then could see Caroline close the curtains to her window on the second floor with blushed cheeks and a goofy smile. He knew what she was thinking of, and smiled to himself as well.

Then in the opposite window, he caught a glimpse of Patsy. Stephen slipped down in his seat as he watched her get undressed. He looked away very quickly when her breasts fell supple out of her cream bra. Stephen began to feel irritated with disgust. It wasn’t that Patsy was ugly, as she clearly was attractive, but that she looked out her bedroom window without coverage a little too long for his comfortability.

He could tell that she was pretending to not see him now, and almost thought about flipping her off. With a wrinkle of her nose, and a sly smile to the wind Patsy turned away. She turned to admire her reflection in the large mirror by the window, and before her reflection could look back directly to Stephen, he drove off. Oh yeah, Stephen was plotting to take Caroline away from under her mother’s thumb.

Submitted: May 24, 2023

© Copyright 2023 Silent Catastrophes. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Amy F. Turner

I was not expecting the twist that came and that was different. Kept me guessing on a possible end, but one where I was cheering for so happiness for the daughter, even if for a moment. The relationship of mother and daughter seems very sad and toxic. It is almost as sad and unfulfilled as the mother is portrayed.

Thu, May 25th, 2023 2:02am


There's a certain 'Snow White' about this piece, but we don't have seven dwarves, only the wicked witch and her mirror who believes she's the fairest in the land. This whole situation is a Dr. Phil special. Sadly, it's not a fallacy. There are mother/daughter relationships that run this sort of course. Family dynamics can be crazy.

I thought this was well written and even more thought provoking. You can choose to write a story from many different angles or emphasis. For example, you could have emphasized sex in this piece, but you chose to emphasize pain and trauma. I like how you did it. The sweet experience in the woods with Stephen was self-affirmation for Caroline. Yes, it was sex, but it was so much more. This wasn't an erotic piece. It just contained erotica.

So, good for you, S.C. - a very strong and meaningful offering.

Mon, May 29th, 2023 3:15am

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