Crucified for Love

Mildred wore a lace white gown, flowing back behind her about a yard. A veil of light mesh covered the back of her curled hair, and followed the length of the dress. She stared at her face in the mirror for quite some time, having just finished putting on her makeup….

She wasn’t as confident as the day she went driving to Bella’s, ready to throw her fists in the ring over late rent, but she was confident nonetheless. Remembering that day with a smile, and feeling silly and old, now about to marry Bella herself whom she had moved into the estate. Mildred wasn’t sure she was making the right decision though, about to become a mother of two, Bella’s son Robbie age eleven, and Bella’s baby of three months, Sophia.

Mildred realized, as she fixed herself over, that she never pushed the envelope with Bella in personal conversation about past relationships. Of course, Bella and the whole county knew of Mildred’s one long-term relationship, with her diseased husband Gerald, but no one really knew of Bella, not even Mildred. Mildred wanted to care, but she really did not want to know, because she knew Bella had gone through many tumultuous relationships prior and it was of no secret. Their wedding, just about to take place in a little less than an hour, was small no doubt.

Mildred had told a few persons, and invited a few to their ceremony, but the whole county was aware. When looking out the window of the master, Mildred saw about twenty people in seats in the manicured backyard garden and felt relief. She really expected no more than five, and was quite happy with the turn out. For her wedding to Gerald, the whole county had attended, but this small gathering was much more affordable and quieter to manage.

At the altar, next to the local priest, Jerry, Bella stood, tall and handsome. Mildred gulped at the sight of her bride-to-be, noticing how from her window, Bella looked like a refined gentlemen straight out of a fairytale. Bella was someone Mildred couldn’t believe she was going to make her own partner in life. She had fantasized of this moment for quite some time now…How funny life was, in its twists and turns, that now after many years they would come back together and marry.

Bella stood confident, and was pleased herself at how everything had fallen into place for her. There had been an idea in the back of her head, that she wasn’t sure she should share with Mildred until after they were married. She was sure of what she wanted and who she wanted to be for Mildred, but the costs would be the topic of their discussion…for a later time.

A violinist seated in the back of the rows began to play. The small gathering went to hush tones, consisting of Mildreds mother, family, and town acquaintances. Bella had one person of her family attend, a cousin, who brought along six kids outside of the twenty who were dying in their silences when they really wanted to chase each other around the property. Robbie himself, sat next to his cousins confidently in a brand-new suit he got to pick out weeks before, and by his side in a decorated crib was his little baby sister Sophia. Mildred stepped out the backdoor of her large home, with the help of her father whose expression seemed merry, yet drunk.

“Well at least Bella is…uh-er handsome!” whispered Mildred’s father.

“Daddy…” Mildred shook her head slightly, careful not to drop her smile.

“Yes, yes well…let’s get on with it then…”

Mildred held onto her father’s forearm, her finger-nails a classic coffin-shaped French manicure. They walked slowly down the isle of dried flower petals, and lit candles, until Mildred was offered to Bella by her leery father. Bella looked over Mildred and felt her pale face flush with a blush, passion, and joy overcoming her. A few tears fell from her eyes, and she immediately rose Mildred’s small hands up to her lips for kissing. A couple people clapped awkwardly in the back.

“Now, you two,” Jerry the priest, who was genuinely happy said gently, “let us begin!”

Their guests waved fans, and blew little wedding bubbles from their party favors as the ceremony began. The violinist sat idle in the back, ready to play gently once the vows were given. Everyone watched with curiosity; they admired the beauty of the sight of the ceremony, the brides, and the cloudy sky. After a few words from the priest, the two were ready to give their vows.

“Milly, I have loved you for a very, very long time… I promise with all of my heart, to love and care for you from this point on until forever. I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest to you, kind as I can muster, patient and forgiving. I’m not a perfect person but when I am with you I do feel strong. I will always do my best for you because I love you to the end’s of this earth and back,” Bella said, her voice cracking.

“Bells—” Mildred said weakly.

“One second Milly, I have more to say…”

“Oh, ha-ha,” Mildred giggled, to which their audience released a few laughs themselves.

“I wrote a poem for you…I’d like to read it aloud, if I may,” Bella said to everyone and the priest, reaching for a folded piece of paper from her suit pocket.

“Why of course, continue then,” Jerry said.

“It’s kind of long, but here I go…” Bella said, now down on her knees before Mildred, “‘How can I show you?

When you look at me like smooth grey pebbles,

constantly beaten to perfection by the currents of my butterflies,

that I feel sporadic and wired,

ready to jump in your confines.

To hear your voice is like being overcome by the crisp echoes that bounce between mountains,

where the harsh snow can swirl around the fortress of my heat,

as the log fire in my heart can lust for you.

There is not one who could measure up to you,

the unearthly song that vibrates my being to the beat of hoofs against damp,

spring grass.

You made me feel so special as to snipping through any darkness casted over my head,

a curse conquered and devoured because to you I was worth it.

I want to make you feel undefeatable, loved, so that the decay that surrounds you

is broken down by your aspirations with every step you take towards me.

How else can I show you, but bare my heart for your keeping,

the secrets you learn forever safe under the luminous light casted down from our heaven.

Where I will always want to belong.

Don't you get it,

I'll never go back to the time where things were just okay,

and desolate under the brisk heat of the sun.

My life before was just an innocent existence,

until happening upon you it got depth and meant so much more.

I love you Milly,

My savior, my heaven, forevermore…’ Anyways, I know it is written rather rough but I did write this for you,” Bella said, folding the paper back up until placing it on the inside of her suit jacket, and rising to stand. Mildred was crying her eyes out practically, to the shock and tears of others. She managed to sneeze into a few tissues that Jerry handed her, and looked up to Bella with smeary eyes. She placed her hand onto Bella’s chest to support herself from dizziness, careful to collect herself in front of everyone.

“Now Mildred, your vows…” Jerry aided.

“Y-yes…well, I uh… forgotten them. One second…yes…let me recall, oh right! Dear Bella, well, my vows aren’t going to seem much now…”

“That’s okay, ha-ha,” Bella said, lifting Mildreds fallen face by the chin gently, “go on.”

“T-to my sweet, dear Bells, I-I stand before you as a woman with no reservations, choosing to spend the rest of my life with you, someone whom I have adored. You have captured me, and my sore old heart, and I no longer wish to be free of you. I have loved you without knowing, without reason, and find myself here completed by our connection. I pray that this is enough to quench you, and we can grow old together as wife and wife. Most importantly, I promise with all of my heart, to cherish and love you unconditionally...”

“Unconditionally,” Bella whispered back.

“The rings?” Jerry said to Robbie with a wink. Robbie, smoothed his hand through his new hair-cut and walked cooly over to his mothers. Like Bella, he swiftly pulled out the box of their rings from his pocket and handed it to Bella who raised a brow at her son’s new-found bravado. The two women, placed their rings on each other’s fingers, and were announced newlyweds. They planned to kiss rather conservatively in front of everyone, but Bella pulled Mildred to her quickly and let her lips linger at hers for a long second. Then they kissed, in one long peck, leaving them hungry for more.

The night went on exceptionally well. Almost everyone but the children got nearly drunk off a special brandy Mildred had Bella choose for their guests. Bella had the whole lot intrigued at their long dinner table with stories and talk, then when came time for speeches, both Bella and Mildred were surprised to see how many people had something kind to say. Their night was something to remember forever. Secretly, Mildred felt like she’d been married for the first time, since her wedding to Gerald was very overwhelmingly big, and business savvy. This wedding with Bella had been more romantic in nature, and was made special by it’s personality of warm lighting, and vintage decor.

A cleaning crew had been hired to pick up after the wedding guests, and move the wedding décor to boxes that were to be placed in the basement. Bella’s one cousin and children were given the keys to the house to stay the night, as long as they made sure the crew was paid properly and let go after work was done. They were also tasked to care for Robbie and Sophia while the couple would go on to their honeymoon.

When the after party started to come to a close, everyone at the front grand patio, waved the couple off as they got into an old-fashion, horse-drawn carriage. It was these kinds of detailed experiences Bella loved about Mildred’s planning, since she planned a whole trip of fantastical surprises for them to discover. Bella was of course slightly drunk, feeling as if she was a main character in a fantasy movie. The carriage went down the dirt road that led to the estate out to the street where Mildred’s car waited by the side curb, beyond the side of the party behind. Their belongings were already packed in the trunk, and Mildred was ready to drive them away to the next destination.

“In the glovebox,” hiccupped Bella, “I made a mix of songs saved on a disc for you my sweet. And t-they are for you…see! I have surprises too M-Milly.”

“You’re the best…now come on, ha-ha,” Mildred giggled, buzzed herself.

Bella sat in the passenger’s seat, smiling foolishly and in love at Mildred in the drivers. There was something so sexy about the way Mildred was taking control, still in her fluffy sparkling wedding dress, bubbly and beautiful as she managed the leather steering wheel with a firm grip. The night’s events kept playing in Bella’s mind until she found herself yawning. She began to close her eyes, opening them a couple more times before sleep could pull her away, just to see shadows cover on and off over Mildreds smile as they drove past the highway lights.

Once Bella was asleep, Mildred reached to the glovebox with a yawn, and there was a disc with a frilly bow on it. She pulled the disc out, keeping careful watch of the road, and pulled the bow off with her lips. With ease she pushed the disc into the CD player of the radio, and pressed play.

Easing the volume, she drove to some of their favorite songs remembered from their time spent together in college many years ago. At first, Mildred was in complete love, then quietly she sobbed by her new bride, remembering Gerald’s ashes were at home in a case on the fireplace mantle. She wondered this night, if there was a heaven, with Gerald in it, could he see what she had done…marrying again, to the very person she told him not to worry about… Bella…

As the drive went on, so dried her tears. She knew this was right, felt good in her soul, but that didn’t ease the fear of a new future now finalized. The traffic on the road was easy to navigate through, and the hours flew by. Finally, on a rocky trail she made a couple turns before parking in front of an old-fashioned cabin in the middle of the forest. Mildred felt her excitement overwhelm her as she un-clipped her seatbelt and leaned over Bella’s sleeping face.

Mildred pressed her hand to Bella’s face gently, and then pressed her pink lips over Bella’s slowly. Bella awoke, kissing into Mildreds mouth, pressing her tongue into her mouth with increasing need. In an instant, Bella, tried to lurch back onto Mildred, but was halted by her seatbelt. Mildred slapped Bella’s chest and quickly got out of the car, before Bella could open her door, Mildred was there crawling into the seat on top of her. They began to make-out violently, with Mildred holding onto Bella and Bella’s hands gripped onto the back of Mildred’s head.

Once Mildred could manage herself atop of Bella, they were dry-humping in the side passenger seat. Bella pulled the side lever while in the middle of a kiss, pulling Mildreds entire body down with her. Mildreds eyes were like glistening stars over tears as she moved her body over Bella’s in complete ecstasy. Mildred was the sexiest thing Bella had ever laid eyes on in this moment, with her gown hiked up to her hips, revealing no underwear and white thigh-high stockings. Bella began to moan, hoarsely with slight masculinity laced in her tone. This made Mildred shake in her arms.

“Let’s get inside,” Mildred whispered in Bella’s ear.

The two got out of the car, hand in hand, and Mildred fumbled at the door with her keys as her ripped veil hung over her face. Mildred unlocked the door and then Bella took over. Bella ushered Mildred into the cabin, not even taking note to the classic forest décor, or gift basket on the kitchen counter leading to the kitchen inlet of this apartment designed cabin.

Over to the bed with a heart of rose petals over the comforter, Bella threw Mildred to top and ripped her black bow from her neck. Mildred spread her legs apart slowly, laying back onto her elbows, and staring up at Bella with a hunger-pained glare. Bella bit her lower-lip and got onto her knees on the bed, pulling Mildred to her torso. Mildred propped herself up confidently to meet face to face with Bella, almost nose to nose. Her eyes blinked doll-like up to Bella’s in now, smeary mascara.

“Unzip my pants…my little victim,” Bella said gently, her eyes burning into Mildred’s. Without hesitation, Mildred did as she was told, always finding immense pleasure when Bella specialized her with little demeaning names. Mildred found herself, kissing at Bella’s flexed and toned torso, until her mouth made it to Bella’s freshly shaved mound. Bella felt herself blush with pleasure, widening her knees, as she pet and pulled at Mildred’s veiled hair.

“Uh, fuck…” Bella moaned.

Mildred vivaciously lapped over Bella’s lips, until they spread apart, and she could suckle at Bella’s throbbing clitoris. Milly couldn’t help herself from moaning between licks and kisses, managing from time to time to sneak a glimpse of Bella’s pleasured face. In rapid succession, Bella ground herself into Mildreds mouth and face, holding Mildred in place dominantly.

Mildred sucked off of Bella’s pulsating pussy, once pushed back onto the bed. Bella lowered onto her stomach between Mildred’s legs, and kissed up her legs until her mouth was kissing passionately at Mildred’s soaking entrance. Mildred arched her back into the bed, and felt again, fresh tears break over her hot cheeks as she moaned brokenly. Bella poked her index and middle fingers into Mildred, slow to find the quivering entrance before sliding both fingers in fully.

As the dominant, Bella gripped onto Mildred’s shivering body and began to pump her fingers in and out. Bella lowered her head to Mildred’s mound, then closed her eyes tightly as she inhaled Mildred’s sweet arousal. A few tears escaped Bella’s eyes when she opened them to see her bride once more. Bella relished the agonized yet pleasured expression over Mildred’s face. Then she began to lap and suck at Mildred’s throbbing nub, to the pleasure of hearing Mildred cry out in delicate moans. If could be seen, the two would make anyone riddled with arousal, as their passionate desire of owning each other completely was evident in their love-making.

Within twenty minutes, Bella moved up Mildred’s body and pulled up her left leg. With Mildred locked in place, Bella pressed her opening to Mildreds and began to move rhythmically against her in a sticky hot mess. They were kissing between moans, sharing the same vision of pleasure as their minds melted into the other. With the same mental fantasy, and rhythm set, Mildred began to moan louder to which Bella forced a hold over her face.

“Look at me, Milly,” Bella demanded, “Come on…give it up now…give yourself over…”

Mildred opened her eyes and bucked up against Bella, beginning to orgasm against Bella’s throbbing pussy with her own. Bella managed to climax herself, and the two held onto each other shaking and breathing hard between small kisses stolen. They felt as if they were in heaven together, drunk off of the shared energy pooling between them.

***

All day and night, through rain and darkness, Bella and Mildred made love to each other’s bodies. Eventually, Bella put a fire together in the fireplace, and put her mix-tape disc into the cd player in the cabin. They cuddled naked in a small fort of blankets and pillows for hours more by the fire. There was lot of whispering, kissing, and moaning during that time until Bella revealed how starving she was.

“I’m fucking starving too,” Mildred giggled, “but I’m so exhausted.”

“Want me to go grab us food?”

“No, no… there’s a basket I had sent here on the counter and though there isn’t any real food in it, I could gobble away some of those chocolate covered pretzels.”

“ha-ha, as much as I love the idea of eating sweets…I need some real substance before I close my eyes, Milly.”

“So I guess we need to get dressed then…” Mildred said with fake disappointment.

“I guess so, ha-ha.”

The two pushed each other about, from the bathroom in the shower, to unpacking and dressing. They got into their car and drove out the forest to a nearby diner in the small town close by, where they got to enjoy the sight of old lamps and photographs in the restaurant. Mildred sat, like a lolita dream, looking around the diner with curiosity and big doe eyes over her strawberry milkshake. Bella watched her in love, drinking from her chocolate milkshake, and then their server set an appetizer of mozzarella sticks between them, looking over Bella herself with a flirtatious smile.

Bella put her hand out onto the table, and held Mildreds in her own, moving her thumb over the soft skin of Mildreds hand. They fed each other their cheesy sticks, and talked more of how well their ceremony went. Mildred told Bella how reading her poem aloud in front of their wedding guests was one of the loveliest, and romantic things that has ever happened to her. This made Bella’s secret idea began to plague her again, in the back of her head, as she wondered if this was a good time to bring it up. She squeezed Mildred’s hand smiled quietly.

“Milly honey,” Bella said as their server placed a shared platter before them, “I have something serious I want us to talk about.”

Mildred looked famished, her tired gaze moving slowly from the cut steaming meat and various sides. With the intense aroma of the food now harassing Bella’s nostrils, even her stomach croaked in protest. She decided she’d wait until later to bring it all up, not wanting to ruin this time, at the diner Mildred had brought her to excitedly.

“Yes Bella?”

“Well, never-mind. I will talk with you on it later…I’m just so hungry, let’s eat,” Bella said, nervous as hell.

“I agree.”

They ate their meal without conversation by candlelight, and played footsy beneath the table. Mildred moved her foot to Bella’s crotch when no one noticed as she signed their meal ticket. Bella, now fueled, felt herself possessed once more with sexual desire. Mildred took Bella behind the restaurant, as the sky turned dark, onto a side trail into the forest. Another secret experience, Mildred had up her sleeve, no doubt.

Bella cocked her head to the side, like a confused puppy, and followed Mildred with excitement. Mildred led her far it seemed, until they came across a clearing highlighted by the moon and stars. In her side-bag, Mildred pulled out a thin blanket and two candles. Bella pulled her liter out of her pocket, and lit the candles for Mildred. Mildred set the blanket, and lay onto it like an angelic gift highlighted by the moonlight, her cream silk dress now lightly glowing golden.

Bella shook her head at the sight of Mildred, and almost went back on her feet to go hug a tree, or something! They laid there on the blanket for a good half hour in each other’s arms and looked up to the stars. Mildred found herself struggling with sleeps grasp, but then spoke out.

“Do you have any guesses to what we are going to do on our honeymoon?” Mildred asked.

“I know it’s two weeks long,” Bella answered.

“Right, and what does your intuition say. I’m curious to know since you’ve always been sort of telepathic with me.”

“Hmm, well I would say we were spending our time at the cabin for all these two weeks, but because I know you better, there may be a change in stay?”

“Wow, you are somewhat correct,” Mildred said worriedly, awake now.

“…and though I could spend every day, fucking you,” Bella giggled, nudging Mildred, “You love to do a lot other shit too.”

“You’re not wrong,” smiled Mildred. She left the conversation there and began to kiss Bella, covering the moon from view. Bella moved Mildred to her back instead, and began to trace her face with the tip of her index finger. She took note of every curve and detail of Mildred’s face, and kissed at it in different places before licking at her lips.

“There’s something I want to discuss…” Bella whispered.

“Anything Bells.”

Bella helped Mildred up from their position and both sat crisscrossed before the other hand in hand. Mildred, frowned slightly, seeing the worried expression on Bella’s face, and felt strain in her neck from having to look up. Bella sighed, brushing her short bangs back over the clean shave of her haircut.

“I think…I want to undergo sex reassignment surgery,” Bella stated.

“Sex, reassignment what?”

“It’s a surgical process that could help me transition into…well, uh, a man.”

“Oh…” Mildred pulled her hands from Bella’s and sat there in a stupor. She hadn’t felt bad using the fortune Gerald left her after his passing. Not a thought about that came up, as she spent well, and was smart. She never thought she’d be with someone with a penis again, since having fallen back in love with Bella. Though this wasn’t about her, Mildred couldn’t help but be flooded with serious concerns.

“I think I can see where your hesitancy might be—” Bella began.

“One second please. Let me clear my mind,” Mildred cut her off.

Then Mildred stood up with the help of Bella’s hand. She began to cry, brushing herself off, blowing out the candles, and packing up the blanket. Mildred was keeping herself from feeling guilt for so long, that her throat caught in irritated anger. She could not swallow down the feelings this time as she began to walk rather forced back down the path.

“What about Robbie? Sophia?” Mildred blurted out.

“Robbie, I think, would manage well. Sophia would see you as her mother, and me as her father…I could give those things to you. A proper family—something Gerald didn’t give you.”

“Gerald! How dare you…You know Gerald’s death was of such short notice! We didn’t have enough time to consider having a family. How could you bring him up? Haven’t you realized by now where all this money came from? You should be humbled, thankful even, for the man he was to me…”

“…and what if I want to be your man now…”

“You’re ruining me…Bells…absolutely ruining me.”

“I could get a job, and help pay for it, if that’s the problem…”

“No, you’d be going through hormonal changes and shifting or whatever. You don’t realize that I left my days of cock, and let it bury with Gerald. Bella you are perfect the way you are, why can’t you see that?”

Bella rushed to Mildreds side on the path, and pulled her purse from her hands. She let the stuff drop to the floor and forced Mildred up against the nearest tree. Mildred weakly tried to push her off, but found herself locked in writhing agony as Bella sucked and kissed at her neck. Mildred gasped out in pleasure get off of me but Bella persisted, giving Mildred a saliva-stricken hickey before speaking above her sternly.

“There are things I need Milly. Things I have wanted with no one else but you. Now, I’m not asking for you to pay for it, or be happy with it, but I am asking you to hear me out. I want to put myself inside you, so that not another person has something that I don’t with you…can you understand that? That watching you marry Gerald killed a part of me, that always belonged to you, and now here I am somehow revived as your newlywed… I’m begging you to c-consider this transition as a good thing for our intimacy,” Bella stammered brokenly.

“But you can’t just change your sex for sex…you have to know that’s who you are inside for sure.”

“That’s the thing Milly…I have felt like a man trapped in this body, even before we ever met in college…”

Mildred kept crying, sliding down from Bella’s grasp, and stooping over to pick up her things. Bella, now dominant, lead Mildred like a child to the car and asked for the keys. Mildred gave her the keys and got into the passenger side with a huff. She held her purse close to her chest, and cried on the entire time of the drive. Bella, irritated at this point, hunched over the leather steering wheel, and let her eyes stick transfixed on the road.

They got to the cabin, staying silent, and went to bed.

***

Mildred awoke tossing and turning in the sheets of the bed, reaching for Bella who was not there. The smell of a fire, and sausage filled her nostrils. With a big breath she opened her eyes to the sight of Bella cooking in the kitchen, happily whisking eggs away, despite last night’s fight, obviously freshly showered as her breasts hung free and a towel was wrapped around her waist. Mildred, brushed the hair from in front of her eyes and pulled a pillow close to her body. She watched Bella closely, and ignored the sound of fresh rain falling against the cabin roof.

Off to the distance, the women could hear a couple ravens cawing at each other, and then Bella looked over to Mildred awake. She gave her a handsome, yet shy smile, lifted the bowl of eggs then turned her back to Mildred as she kept on cooking. Mildred shook her head lightly, concern overwhelming her senses again with worry.

“What if you get sick from the surgery? How many surgeries are there even?”

“I do not wish to talk about it again, Mildred. Let us finish our honeymoon first, uh?”

“You’re like a god damned character,” Mildred said under her breathe.

“A what!?” Bella said, with the slam of the whisk to the counter.

“You’re being a fucking character!”

“Is that any way to speak to your husband?”

“…my husband, died of cancer!” Mildred hollered.

In the silence, Bella kept cooking their breakfast. She knew she was putting up a front just now—sort of, but she had to keep to herself, else she might go beat Mildred’s butt with a spanking. Bella didn’t want any more boundaries between them, she wanted to be Mildred’s husband now, not tomorrow. Bella wanted Mildred’s most feminine side to herself on their honeymoon, in role-play, until the entire reality of her has Bella’s true man was made real. Mildred could sense the reasoning herself, and relaxed in the sheets, contemplating if she really could accept Bella this way.

How silly it all seemed now, as Mildred recalled boasting over Bella becoming her wife to their wedding guests. Perhaps Mildred should have made Bella wear a matching wedding gown at their wedding over a suite. It’s not like all the signs had not been evident, in how Bella held herself in personality, and ownership. Perhaps, Bella wanted the dominating respect Gerald held in Mildred’s eyes, but to Mildred this was absurd, since it was Bella who had her first all those years ago. The whole request just seemed rather selfish, though again, Mildred knew it wasn’t about the money…or was it?

“It’s not about the money Milly, you know that…” Bella said, bringing a plate of breakfast to her. Mildred looked over Bella’s physique, glossing her eyes over the butterfly tattoos flying up Bellas leg, to the hip bones of her torso slightly protruding. I guess it did help, not that it mattered too much, that Bella was rather big-boned and very tall. Mildred imagined her side ribs, peaking out not in feminine manner but in masculinity, then gulped with surprise longing.

What Bella couldn’t understand was that, not only by transitioning would she then become essentially the next man to Mildred’s life, but she would be butchering the memory of who she was to Mildred during their college days. Back then, Bella was known as Stella, and back then, she looked rather boyish and androgynous in youth, that if she were to transition, Mildred might replace Stella’s image in her memory with the image of Bella transitioned. It almost didn’t make sense to Mildred, as she thought of the concept of it, tangled in her mind. It just felt wrong for Mildred to lose the past to a future person she didn’t seemingly just marry…

Mildred could easily see the man in Bella, that was kind of the point as to why, it almost felt perverted to push her to such a transition, though it was Bella who wanted it. Mildred picked at her breakfast, and tried to speak several times, to which Bella shook her head silently in ‘not now, just eat.’ Their day did have a special plan for another surprise hike, and thrift-shopping, but Mildred was particularly slow as she cleaned the dishes and went on into a shower.

“Well, we can afford to stay in this day, just not tomorrow, Bells,” Mildred said as she used the bathroom hair dryer over her wet hair.

“Sounds good,” Bella said, as she prepared another fire, refusing to look back at Mildred’s nakedness.

“That means we are going to talk about this today, before we go grab a bite to eat…”

Bella rolled her eyes, and sighed, then went out to spend a couple personal hours in the woods. Mildred didn’t care, making her terms set. During the early twilight hours, Bella returned with a bouquet of wild flowers, and found Mildred lost within a book on the couch. After a few kisses and a hug, they went cuddling quietly in their fort by the fireplace. Mildred set her cup of hot chocolate to the side, and wrapped one of Bella’s scarves around her neck. They had kissed a little more, but felt too shy to look in each other’s eyes for too long like normal.

“Alright, my little victim, let’s have our talk,” Bella said defeatedly.

“If you do this,” Mildred paused, “am I to call you by a different name?”

“Like, my old name from college?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t want the new you to take from the memory of who you were…I don’t want to call you Stella, and I don’t know if I could call the man you become…Bella…if that makes any sense.”

“Oh…that’s completely fair.”

“Really?”

“Really. In fact I was thinking the same thing myself this morning.”

“I am more than happy to help pay for the transition if it’s something you really want, but this is so serious, you need to be sure. I don’t think I could handle the back and forth.”

“Don’t worry…my mind is made up…”

“Fine…” Mildred said, staring into the fire now.

Mildred leaned onto Bella who was also lost in deep thought, and eventually she fell fast asleep. Bella kept composed, not to reveal how happy Mildred just made her, remaining secretly needy, while Mildred rested. She couldn’t believe after last night and this morning, how easy that conversation went, but she loved how Mildred just cut to the chase. She loved Mildred’s ‘serious’ voice, and couldn’t wait to surprise her awake a little bit later…

Bella understood now, how important she had been to Mildred even during the time she belonged to another. She realized though she could never replace the memory of Gerald, she could claim Mildred as rightfully belonging to her. This really was the start to their forever…