Where Being Too Chicken All The Time Has Got Me

Where Being Too Chicken All The Time Has Got Me

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Why I'm here, seems to be quite obvious

I love drugs, and I need help

Help putting my penis in a hole

Help fucking a hooker not too old

Help pulling myself out of this mold

Help telling myself "let it go"

Why I am not succeeding doing this on my own

Is far beyond my thinking capabilities

Why else is nobody even talking to me?

The world outside of getting high

Has become an obstacle too hard to try

To get by, and just survive

I do not know what's wrong with the world

Or why it's people laugh as I crack

Look forward to watching me choke

And assume I never got off dope

But the laughter and insanity

Is far beyond the likes of me

Too wretched has become of me

Unknown of any reason

Why bacon has to be in season

In order to go down my esophagus

If I knew all the stuff that was wrong with the world

I would not have to sit in a swivel chair and twirl

I would not have to have secrets to take to the grave

I would not have to be brave

Just to wow some woman's heart

When I don't have any bragging rights, at all

Am too short, and not enough tall

It erks me that there are no more baggy jeans at the mall

For somebody with long legs like a spider

And tall tees are only sold online now

As well as brand name tube socks and white boxers

Mapping my small radius of my existence

Sure does not grow larger and larger, like normally

Running around, going crazy, does help though

Busting out into uncontrollable laughter

Sure is fun though

Not knowing what's wrong with me

Doesn't bother me, none, though

Just that this madness always comes across as "insane"

Just that my heartache never gets up and goes away

Just that I have nobody to love, right now, today

Just that my wallet only makes room for

Anything that is not money, that I can spend

Beyond that cash that I owe for cash-only expenses

Beyond this planet exists A God

But beyond my skull I'm left alone

Left to multiply to keep myself company

But when I'm in need of a woman

And can't have one

No amount of splitting up, is ever enough

No imagination could ever take the place

Of having a woman to call "my babe"

With all the rejection that life has to offer

It isn't proper

There's just never an offer

Nothing comes after "hello"

If there even is a "hello"

And if I forget all this shit I'll be fine

But the truth never leaves my mind

For long enough of a time

For anything to go right

My hideousness is beyond repair

Nobody around me even cares

So I escape the world, but I'm always reminded

That nothing I do ever changes a damned thing

That my identities in this world are not accepted

Anywhere that they are required to be accepted

And while all of this is going on

I'm trapped to my solitude

I'm not capable of changing my circumstances

I'm chained to being alone

After coming home from a meeting, every night

I'm pissed off

Crazy

And mad

I'm losing connections

Because of my mind

I'm overly jealous

Of every one else's rights

I'm too aware

That nothing is right

It'll never be over

Even when life is over

There is no sex in Heaven

So if I die without having sex again

The last time I fucked

Will stay the last time I fucked

And life will never get any better

I bought a box of condoms for nothing, probably

There is no one in front of me

These words just go around in circles

In my head, everyday

It'll always be too late for love

I'm becoming a "no one"

And I can never stop that from happening

I can't stop these bitches

From not wanting to suck me off

From not wanting to ride my cock

From not giving me a kiss

From not holding my hand

And telling me they want any of this

And all my dick can do is throw a fit

Pulsate, and throb, in my pants, and shit

And while all of this is still going on

There is no way to move on

And forget what I don't have

Because I'll never truly be, a "real man"

And that just makes my peers laugh

At me, and sweep me under the rug

'Cause it's been 12 years

Since the world gave a shit about my love-life

And now I'm just going to die

Alone for the rest of my afterlife

'Cause I never made somebody love me while I was alive

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11-09-'22

D. L. Cannon