I remember you telling me that you’d always be there for me, and I’m sorry that at that particular moment I laughed, thinking that that day would never come. Don’t hold that against me, please. There was so much I didn’t understand, and I hope you understood that.
I remember you smiling as I laughed because you saw through me. You never did let it bother you, because you knew - damn you, you knew…and now I know. Now I’m forced to know and to recognize the truth. I’m sorry for what I am, or for what I've turned out to be, whichever one is worse. I’m sorry for not seeing when I should have, for not trying to perceive the unfairness of my actions.
I always knew but never wanted to see what you meant to me, and now it’s for naught, because you’re gone and I’m left alone to ponder over what might have been - what should have been. If I could cry I would, only the well has long since gone dry and left me without a means of release. Don’t worry I know. I don’t need someone to tell me that I deserve the fate set for me. I don’t need someone to explain to me what I’ve lost, and why. I don’t need the empathy and sympathetic shoulder that is most often longed for at a moment like this. I don’t want any of it.
I played the game and I lost – as stupid as that was. Too late realized that I should have learned the rules first. Life seldom gives you a second kick at the can. Your aim has to be true the first time. Chalk one up for ignorance. Chalk one up for audacity.
All this just to say that…I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being the beautiful person you wanted me to be, if even only for a short while… if even only for a time. I’ll see you in my dreams. There I may have a chance to make amends, maybe… who knows.
Submitted: July 06, 2022
© Copyright 2023 Darian. All rights reserved.
Comments
At the end of the day, life is competitive.
Like two prize fighters slugging it out,we don't have time to think until the contest is over
Author
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Yes, and we hope that when we finally do get to sit back and think about it, that it's not too late.
Thanks for reading.
At the end of the day, life is competitive.
Like two prize fighters slugging it out,we don't have time to think until the contest is over
I wonder why it is we don't know or see what great thing we have in our lives till it's gone. Why we don't appreciate well enough. Touched me personally. Thanks for sharing
Wed, July 27th, 2022 10:31pm
Author
Reply
I think we sometimes take people for granted, especially those devoted to us. We think that true love is easy to find. Well, we soon come realize that it’s not, but sadly not before it’s gone.
Thank you for reading.
Retrospection can yield its own sort of release but only as a means of learning from the mistake made and realizing should opportunity arise again for the type of connection one might seek, that the same choice may not be made so that a different path can be chosen and with it new opportunity to grow. Thank you for sharing.
Sun, August 7th, 2022 3:21pm
Author
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Yes, that is so true, but it always leaves an innocent, wounded. What do they do? How do they pick up the pieces and prepare themselves for another relationship? How do they dare to trust again?
Thank you for reading.
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DampKitten
Wow.
Tue, July 12th, 2022 4:03amSo, that should be called "The Apology"
I think it's a private self-condemnation. We all deserve our share at the mic. Some of these messages must make it through the curtain somehow.
A moving piece..
Author
Reply
You are right. It is an apology- a little late but I guess it needed to be said. Thanks DK!
Tue, July 12th, 2022 10:31am