Two brothers and their lustful ways [ a vampires affiar.]

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Erotic Horror  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group

Two vampire brothers are sleeping together. Since they were 18. Now over 100 years old. They are not gay but bi. They come across a new scent. It attracts both of them. A demon with a goddess's beauty. Or a goddess with a demon's beauty.

Evelelin wakes up in the middle of the night. She has nightmares of herself. A darker part of herself. Someone she didn't know existed. She feels like she's missing something. Her nightmare could be a memory or just a nightmare? She meets the Hardy Brothers.

They meet at a new erotica book launch. Darkest pleasures come their way. Also, a great evil is coming their way. They want what the brother's want.

Table of Contents

True beauty met

Chapter One   Part One at Rose's Bookstore at 7:30 pm.......Mid november..... Evelin sat at the signing table... Read Chapter

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Recent Comments

DampKitten

Clark Kent...how funny. So, are they 6 or 7 feet tall? I think seven feet is a little more than I'm ready for. These book signings are hard work, and you never know when you'll run into a vampire (or two). I didn't think those guys were supposed to be out during the day. Is this a night signing?

Mon, July 4th, 2022 2:55am

Author
Reply

I will make it a night signing Its 6'7ft tall. I love Clark Kent's name as two names. I've been having writer's block. This one though hopefully i can finish it and stick to at least my first draft.

Tue, July 5th, 2022 8:57pm

Laird

I like the way Evilin gets hotter all of a sudden. Clark and Kent snap their fingers at the same time and her tits get bigger. Keep going darknessinlove!

Laird

Mon, July 4th, 2022 1:22pm

Author
Reply

Thank she has to hide her true self. But they her real self and revealed it. More to come later...

Tue, July 5th, 2022 8:52pm

Trixie

I like your story so far but I will make two suggestions. Before I do please note that I am an amateur and my suggestions only come from limited experience but I hope that I can help a fellow writer a little. So first although the font is pretty it makes it a little tough to read, especially those of us limited to phones only (and our old eyes) you might consider using a straight font versus a cursive look. Second a lot of your sentences read like a check list, “they did this, they did that, she did this …etc” consider turning two sentences into one, keep the action flowing, it feels broken up at the moment.

As an example of what I hope I’m trying to say, in the last paragraph you start with “she moaned. She clutched at both of them. She just kept drinking them in. She moaned and groaned” you might consider something like the following, “Her sweet moans filled the room as she drunk them in, clutching their firm skin with her nails.” Take a few of your action sentences and mix them with your description, it will keep the flow of the story together.

I think you have a very good rough draft, it’s important to get everything out of your head first then go back and tie up loose ends. You have a lot of good stuff in here.

I hope my comment helps but if you feel it doesn’t please feel free to delete, I am always reluctant to post criticism because I don’t want anyone to feel like they are doing something wrong but I also know that my writing has improved tremendously because someone took the time to point out where I could improve. I hope my comment helps. I have read your other stuff and see a lot of potential.

Wed, July 13th, 2022 11:28am

Author
Reply

Thank you, I m disabled mentally and i was really tired that night it was late. But i will look into it and fix it., I love your comment.

Thu, July 14th, 2022 11:40am

willnorman

This story has potential but while reading it, I wonder - are you working from an outline or just writing/typing it as it comes to you? The latter makes it difficult to keep a solid story line, especially if the reader can't see a plot of some kind developing.
But a story with vampires and sex - how can it get any better, right?

Wed, July 20th, 2022 8:51pm

Author
Reply

Yes, i am taking a break from that one right now. Its not done yet. There is a plot to it.

Thu, July 21st, 2022 8:08pm

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