Creepy Funeral

Creepy Funeral

There was consternation in the parish of Saint-George, and some compassion too. Patricia Petterson, Jacobs by her maiden name, had died quite suddenly. She was a teacher at the local kindergarten, well-beloved by the children in her care but not so much by their mothers.

Her death was most unexpected, but for her also the happiest way to go. One Friday evening, she was riding in the missionary position on top of Andrew Thompson, the local butcher. To meet in secret, about once a month, they rented a room in the Roundabout Motel for three hours in the town of Haylan, about 10 miles from where they lived. When Patricia was coming and squirting her lust juice out of her puss onto Andrew’s balls and thighs, she collapsed on him, groaning. A massive heart attack struck her down.

Andrew Thompson realized that his mistress was dead but he did not panic. He freed herself from under Patricia's heavy body. The first thing he did for security reasons was to painstakingly wash her wet cunt so that no traces of their fucking would remain. He also washed his underbelly, his cock and balls, got dressed at full speed and warned the motel manager of what had happened. Since he was a good client at the Roundabout Motel, together they washed Patricia’s whole body, except her hair, to remove any traces of saliva, sperm, or vaginal juice. The manager cleared the bed of the sheets Patricia had wetted by squirting abundantly and put them in the laundry. Then, they dressed the deceased, and in the dark, they installed the still warm body of Patricia behind the wheel of her car after the manager had moved it some 500 yards so that it was far enough away from the motel parking lot.

An hour later, a motorist who had stopped behind Patricia’s car realized that the person with her head on the steering wheel was in a precarious situation. He called the police, who, in turn, cautiously notified Frank Petterson, the husband of the deceased, of her passing.

Here comes the day of Patricia's funeral, for some jealous women in the parish a not so very sad day… It was of common knowledge that teacher Patricia Jacobs had no problem to open her legs and let herself be fucked by any man who gently asked to bang her. However, for Frank Petterson, it was the saddest day of his life so far. His wife Patricia had died suddenly of a heart attack, in circumstances that he had trouble understanding. Today, on the day of her funeral, the worst thing for Frank was that at Saint-George’s Church, he had to walk down the central aisle among all these people who were looking at him curiously to see if he was really sad. After all, there were people in the church who thought that Patricia Jacobs didn't deserve a single tear.

Once Frank Petterson and the family of the deceased had taken their places at the front of the church, the mourning ceremony could begin. The service was led by chaplain Garth Gardner. He had taken a special course at the diocese to conduct funeral rites. Gardner first said an appropriate mourning prayer, then pressed the button on the CD player to play Donna Summer's "Love to Love you Baby", one of Patricia Jacobs's favorite songs. It didn't stop there. Suzan Jacobs, a cousin of Patricia, stood up and sang "Little Girl Blue" by Janis Joplin. Many a church attendant couldn't hold back his tears when Suzan shouted the song in her hoarse voice as if it had been written just for her.

When Suzan was singing the last bars of the song, she suddenly stopped. She looked straight ahead into the church as if she had seen a ghost. Frank Petterson and Amelia Jacobs, Patricia’s mother turned around on their chairs. They saw a tall blonde woman with a full Rubensian figure walking down the center aisle. Frank felt like he had never seen a woman with such wide hips and such big buttocks that swayed with every step. It looked as if the blonde was deliberately bouncing her ass up and down for attention. But her dress also set her apart. It was black, the color of mourning, but that was where the feeling of mourning ended. The black fabric was transparent and the dress was so short… If this blonde sneezed, everyone in the church could see her ass. Let's hope, thought Amelia, that this impudent bitch is wearing underwear...

But this blond woman was not at all embarrassed by her appearance. She stepped forward with her shoulders back and her full tits pointing at the altar. She held her head up proudly and she had a smile on her face that didn't indicate mourning at all. After passing the family chairs to the front of the church, she veered to the left. In the transverse aisle, she took her place in the front row, facing the grieving relatives.

Everyone had noticed the arrogant behavior of the blonde bitch. She had a strong resemblance to Patricia Jacobs. Some superstitious women thought for a moment that the kindergarten teacher had risen from the dead… A murmur arose in the church, and several family members asked the widower: "Who is this?" Frank didn’t answer. He didn't want to stand out in the crowded church where almost everyone knew him. But this was not the case for Amelia, Patricia’s 77-year-old mother. She was clearly outraged. She walked without hesitation to the aisle where the blond woman was sitting and spoke to her. Amelia was hard of hearing and she spoke so loudly that half of the congregants could clearly follow the conversation.

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?” asked Amelia abruptly.

"My name is Cherry, and I was the love of Patricia's life," replied the strange woman. “I’ve known her for eleven years. At least once a fortnight, she came to see me to lake love when she had her bellyful of being fucked by men.”

Patricia's mother stood there, petrified by this outrageous statement. But she had not lost her voice:

"So, you pretend that my daughter was a dyke? Well, Cheryl, aren't you ashamed to say such a thing about my dead girl?" she asked.

"My name is Cherry, not Cheryl," was the blonde’s reply. “I shouldn't be ashamed of anything. Patricia and I understood each other well for eleven years. It was a real pleasure to have sex with her. She took great care of my body, and I of hers, so we both could enjoy our lovemaking. They were wonderful, those Tuesday nights when he came to see me to be fucked and fuck me in turn.”

There wasn't really a commotion in St. George's Church, but it looked a bit like it. People started whispering to each other about what they had heard from the blonde woman. No one laughed, but here and there was a man whose face flushed. There was also someone who swore out loud…

The blonde didn't care at all. That haughty smile remained on her face. She even became vulgar. She put one leg over the other. The people sitting across from her got a spectacular view of her huge white thighs, but not really her crotch. It wasn't clear if she was wearing panties or if she had come to the funeral with her bare ass. Otherwise, the scandal at St. George's Church would have been too great.

The proper conduct of the funeral ceremony had been disrupted. Chaplain Garth Gardner hadn't missed the conversation between Amelia Jacobs and the frivolous blonde. He hadn't just turned red in the face, like some others. Garth started sweating because of what was happening. Never in his beginning career as a chaplain in the parish of Saint-George had he been so embarrassed. Gardner didn’t know what to do in these circumstances. He knew, however, how to control his nerves and maintain a semblance of dignity as a minister of the Church. The chaplain didn't dare go to Cherry to talk to her. Who knew how she would react? She was capable of insulting him!

Garth Gardner, therefore, acted as if nothing had happened. He dutifully completed the rest of the funeral ritual. To the great satisfaction of the chaplain and also of Frank Petterson, it went off without a hitch, like all the other funeral services in which Gardner had conducted the ceremony. The small inconvenience that Cherry's presence had caused was just an incident that would have tongues wagging in the parish for a while, but would just as quickly be forgotten…

Once the rest of the service was over and it was time to say the last goodbye to Patricia Jacobs, the provocative blonde got up and walked quickly towards the coffin. She leaned down and kissed the wood where Patricia's lips were. The community of Saint-Georges held its breath. Cherry was there, leaning forward, her lips glued to the coffin… Not only had she disrespected the faithful of Saint-George by her presence in the church, but in addition, she was NOT wearing panties. Her big, full labia inspired men with naughty thoughts, for women her bare ass was truly eye-popping. A woman of Amelia's age even fainted and had to be carried outside so she could breathe fresh air.

Frank Petterson ran out of the church as fast as he could after his wife's funeral, not knowing if he was more ashamed of her mistress's sudden appearance or had to admit how attractive Cherry was, in fact. Sexy... That was the least he could say. Even Frank had felt a little horny when Cherry bent over the coffin. His passed wife had thin, small genital lips, but Cherry's were decidedly impressive and juicy… And speaking of juicy, to make matters worse, everyone could see how wet Cherry was between her legs. Compared to Cherry, even if there was a resemblance, Patricia had been an unattractive woman at her age.

Suddenly, Frank was scared by this whore at the last goodbye to his wife, even though Patricia had constantly cheated on him behind his back! It hurt, and the pain of this truth was worse than having lost his dear Patricia, that horny hypocrite...

© Robur Quercus 2022