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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group

She lays in bed for me to admire.

Her eyes seduce me.

Her body tells me stories her lips could not.

My body tells others stories.

By this, I lost the secret that keeps me sound.

A secret kept alive when our bodies touch.

Now, I stand grounded.

Lost, not found.

Now, I will write to you...


Pardon my lack of wisdom.

My immature behavior.

I will never be adequate.

Still to learn sensibility.

My rough nature punishes me.

Again and again.

Taking away our lazy Sundays.

Submitted: October 03, 2021

© Copyright 2023 Natalia Rondon. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



I like the way you change direction in this piece, from introversion to direct communication. I would consider present over past tense because it always seems to create a more dramatic impression. As always, I like the second person narrative.

Mon, October 4th, 2021 2:12am


Done, let me know if it's in fact better! Ty for all the feedback.

Mon, October 4th, 2021 4:54am


Mistakes are eminent in the human condition and we all make some of them, so to admit a failure is the first step to healing, yet far too many a soul is unwilling to allow those of the others in their world to be forgotten or even forgiven, while insisting that they either have none, or that their own are somehow by the comparison, so much lessor than those of others… Doesn’t make for easy forgiveness to occur!

Fri, October 8th, 2021 11:04pm

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