Our love was

Reads: 352  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group


Girl our love was...

The truth is that you left, 

I will never be the same.

I see your face in crowded spaces.

Your smile now simply fades.

My world is dark, obscure.

and I cry.

Girl our love was pure.

I run and I run.

But there's no finish line.

I used to be strong, omnipotent.

And I smile.

Girl our love was omniscient.

I take back the bad.

The good remains in memories.

I write to you, illegibly. 

And I pray.

Girl our love was inevitable.

Like all memories, I find myself forgetting you.

I can't hold on forever, dreams of misery.

And I say,

Girl our love is...

History.


Submitted: October 01, 2021

© Copyright 2023 Natalia Rondon. All rights reserved.

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Comments

DampKitten

"I run and I run, but there's no finish line" - Stupendous! Amazing imagery for the desperation of this piece.

Love the way you end this, and that second line catches my breath. It's unexpected. I love the repetition - a focal poetic element of the piece. It provides emphasis and unity. I love the unique style of your pieces.

This is literary anguish. I feel it. Poetry is about conveying emotion. You do that so well...

Fri, October 1st, 2021 4:02am

Author
Reply

Ahhhh what a compliment! I appreciate you girl! Thank you very much!

Thu, October 7th, 2021 6:35am

Spyguy

I agree with DampKitten here, you’ve pulled off a powerful piece… My only suggestion, it would help a reader’s transition to embrace the speaker/author’s mental acceptance of the positive points of this relationship, if you gave additional space, or separation of some kind after the word omniscience…
Just saying, since the last half has the power of putting a reader into the speaker’s mind, a mind transformed by enlightenment!!!

Fri, October 1st, 2021 6:53pm

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