Table of Contents
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Short Story / General Erotica
Poem / BDSM
Book / Sci-Fi and Fantasy Erotica
Other Content by Dayne Capaldi
Book / Literary Erotica
Short Story / General Erotica
Poem / BDSM
Book / Sci-Fi and Fantasy Erotica
Book / Literary Erotica
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DampKitten
Love your last name...really like Lewis Capaldi too.
Mon, September 20th, 2021 2:03amI like prologues to set the stage, and that's what you're doing here. It's a nice summary of where you once were as the speaker and where you now exist.
Having said that, the prologue feels a bit superficial. I'd honestly consider a scene from the past as opposed to describing this 16 yr old guy with a spoon feed narrative to the reader. Let the reader see what he was like and what the relationship entailed by simply presenting it via some pinnacle moment. Give us the dialogue. Give us vision of what was actually happening so many years ago between star crossed lovers. Give us the real time instead of descriptive analysis. Let your reader figure this guy out based on what you show us.
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I had genuinely thought of that, however, with what I have in mind I feel descriptive analysis works here. It's what I was going for, piquing a general curiosity, however, I can also see your point. Thanks for the input.
Mon, September 20th, 2021 4:32am