tonight

Poem by: Gavin A. Momstretcher

Reads: 621 | Likes: 1 | Shelves: 1 | Comments: 2

something from long ago

Tonight

I am alive
The stars are burning, and the heavens wide
The grasses and the crickets and you as well,
Tonight.
And I am more alive than I have ever been
The shadows, sharp as razors,
All the music of the spheres,
And the perfume your are wearing here
Tonight.

It is not the wine.
It’s as though I’ve never been alive before
Tonight.
Not even resurrected, but never having been, before
Tonight.
The past is not at all, not just a dream
How strange that I should be
Born new - full grown
Your scintillating eyes my first born sight
On this, the very first of all my
Nights.

You shiver, tell me you are chilled
But I am all aflame.
Am I the Phoenix, arising from my ashes?
Then the spark, the flash of fire,
Can claim no other source
Than your red lips.
I swear, the fire there,
Tonight!

Submitted: September 02, 2021

Adult Romance poetry

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DampKitten

Hello Gavin!
So, you're using a poetic element rarely seen on this site, not that this is a premier poetry site - but just saying. I'm talking about enjambment. I like how you use rhyme, and I like your imagery.

The depth of your piece is centered in the second stanza where you discuss a new awareness that is so novel it's akin to birth as an adult, and it diminishes the significance of previous existence. I like how you do that - particularly the line "Your scintillating eyes my first born sight"...also, I love the alliteration there, another poetic element. I like the second person narrative approach.

It's a romantic piece meant to infer a new beginning based on this budding relationship with the person being addressed, though the speaker doesn't specifically say that to her directly.

I like it...

Fri, September 3rd, 2021 3:12pm