The Day the Laughter Left my Eyes

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Adult Romance  |  House: Booksiesilk Classic Group

"The day that your mum died was the day the laughter left your eyes."

That's what my ex-wife, Leanne, had said to me one day out of the blue when I was picking up my young son, James, from the rented house she'd shared with her new partner, Len, who was the guy she'd (understandably in retrospect) dumped me for.

It had been a few years after Mum's sudden, unexpected and heart-breaking death and Leanne's unsolicited and poignant insight had taken me by surprise since I'd long thought of her as being primarily selfish and materialistic. Shallow. Spoilt.

But maybe I'd been wrong. Uncharitable. Bitter even.

Still, it's given me a title for this little memoir: The Day the Laughter Left my Eyes. So thanks for that, Leanne.

Anyway, I hope you find it interesting because it's a true tale about lust, love, secret kinky desires, betrayal, anger and loss.


Table of Contents

Mum Dies

  On the morning, just after eleven o'clock, of Tuesday 22nd November 1988, I had driven my bus slowly into the Bus Station... Read Chapter

Leanne Refuses to Play Ball

The night of the day Mum had died I had slept fitfully, unsurprisingly, and had dreamed of her. In one dream she had reassured me that Bu... Read Chapter


To my shame, I cannot remember the exact date (probably the end of November 1988) of Mum’s funeral – I will have to look it up somewh... Read Chapter

Leanne Leaves Me

Shortly after the funeral I had again tried to discuss with Leanne what we were going to have to do with the property I had inherited fro... Read Chapter

To Be Alive is to be Alone

After Leanne had left me in what I felt, and many others too, was such a callous way, and was… surviving I had begun to believe that de... Read Chapter

The Phoney Peace

I cannot recall the exact details of how we got back together but it was at her parents’ house that Leanne had apologised and admitted ... Read Chapter

Killing the Cat

Once I had resumed my relationship with Leanne, though she didn’t move back, I had felt kind of relieved because I didn’t need to go ... Read Chapter

Dog Gone

After I’d had to put Bertie to sleep there was another difficult and emotional problem to deal with: Mum’s dog, Diana. You see, all t... Read Chapter

Caned Hard by Leanne

During the period of the ‘Phoney Peace’, early 1989, Leanne and myself put the maisonette up for sale and also started attempting to ... Read Chapter

Leanne Fucks Another Guy

After Leanne caned me, our relationship was all downhill. It was the beginning of the end if truth be known, though it would stumble alon... Read Chapter

The Final Nail in the Coffin

On a hot and drunken Saturday night in July 1990 I pretty much hammered the final nail into the coffin regards my relationship with Leann... Read Chapter


It was early evening Sunday 26th August 1990 when Leanne dumped me for the last time. I should have guessed that was coming really becaus... Read Chapter

Red Eyes

I can’t deny that it hadn’t been a shock when Leanne finished with me. The reality of the situation was that though I didn’t want t... Read Chapter

I Try to Kill Myself

It was a weekend in early October 1990 when I attempted to kill myself. I had returned home in the early hours of Sunday morning extremel... Read Chapter

A Little Bit of Hope

A few days after my bungled suicide attempt I was pleasantly surprised to have the lady who I had fantasised about during the summer boar... Read Chapter

The Giant Ginger Grasshopper

I’d been on a night out with some work colleagues and ‘Deadwood Dick’ had brought along his wife’s cousin, ‘Ginger’ Jane. Unb... Read Chapter

Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady

With regards to asking Sharon out, time was rapidly running out since I would soon be returning to the main rota which meant I wouldn’t... Read Chapter

The End and Beginning of the Story

Sunday 21st April 1991 was the first date I had with Sharon – I looked it up in my old diary.

I had picked her up in my old white Metro from her council house in East Cowes and taken her to the Chine Inn in Shanklin.

It was a chilly evening and there was a log fire on the other side of the bar…
Read Chapter

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Recent Comments


Feels like a memoire. You have a literary focus for the mundane miniatures that we somehow attend and remember when the larger picture is too dreadful and vast to accommodate.

A strong beginning to your book, Matt. It sets the tone. Love the detail, as always..

Tue, June 29th, 2021 1:44am


Thanks. It's kind of a prequel to Moody Fragments. I've got all the material, just need to edit and post!

It's definitely funny what you remember from emotional incidents such as this.

Tue, June 29th, 2021 4:21am

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