We laid there a moment, in comfortable silence. His arm around my waist and mine holding myself. Cuddling.
I liked this. I didn’t really have this with Jack. Though I wouldn’t go as far as calling myself a booty call, but with Jack we couldn’t really do this. His parents were always home and with us having to keep our relationship from both our parents, we couldn’t really be seen out. The only place we could go was school and I wasn’t really the type of girl that had sex in the bathroom between classes.
Or was I?
I mean, I had had sex with Devin in his classroom. What was next? It was still sex in a school. Did that make me a slut?
Sleeping around with two guys, one being older-hell, a lot older- than the other. Plus I was doing it behind the others back. I kind of felt sluttish.
Devin making a trail of kisses from my ear to the base of my neck made all my thoughts disappear. I couldn’t think when he touched me and right now that sounded good to me. Not thinking? I didn’t like where my thoughts were going anyway.
He pulled away from me and fumbled with something on his side of the bed. I heard the light of a match and turned to see what he was doing.
He lit a cigarette that smelt oddly familiar. He took a long drag and let it out through his nose. Our eyes met and he offered me a smoke. I shrugged and took the cigarette from his lips and placed the butt between mine.
I inhaled but when it hit my throat I choked. It was powerful and thick.
He laughed then took it from my fingers. Taking another puff, he leaned over and kissed me. The smoke went from his mouth to mine though this time instead of choking it came from my nose.
The kiss tasted of cloves. I recognized it as his taste and it made me a little lightheaded. He pulled back and laughed a bit at my high expression.
“No more cigarettes for you,” he said stroking my hair. “If your father knew you were smoking, he’d kill you.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not something I wanna do again.” I laughed.
He frowned. “Sorry.”
He shrugged and put out the cigarette. “It’s a filthy habit anyway.”
“You don’t have to stop smoking. I kinda like it, it makes you look sexy.” Though he didn’t really need a cigarette in his mouth to do that. He was sexy alone.
He smiled wickedly as if reading my thoughts.
We lay there again, this time he stoked my hair absentmindedly.
“What’s your favorite color?” He asked after a moment.
I flipped over on my stomach and looked at him confusingly.
“Well…I was just thinking I don’t really know anything about you. Besides the fact you like to write.”
“Really?” He asked.
I shrugged. “Yeah, purple, but it changes, you know? Today I like purple, tomorrow I may like emerald or maroon.”
He nodded. “Favorite movie?”
“Don’t have one.”
“Don’t have one.” I laughed.
“You like everything?”
“I never said that. I just don’t...show favoritism.”
He nodded, drawing random circles on my bare back.
“Well how ‘bout you?” I asked. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Now?” He asked a small smile in his eyes. “Brown, light mahogany brown.”
“It’s the color of your eyes.”
A slight blush took my entire body and he smiled.
“Favorite movie?” I asked trying to hold back my own smile.
“Hmm, I’d have to say Romeo and Juliet, the newer version with Leonardo DiCaprio.”
“Seriously?” It was a good movie; I just didn’t expect him to like it.
“Seriously,” he said emerald eyes smoldering.
Now I smiled. My breathing accelerated when he brought his face down to mine and kissed me.
He pulled back and I lay my head on his pillow.
“Hmm?” I asked looking at him again.
“You realize how wrong this is, correct?”
I nodded meekly. “But I won’t tell if you won’t.”
He smiled and kissed me once more.
The weekend passed quickly after that and before I knew it, I was waking up to my alarm Monday morning, musically and upbeat.
I hummed my way down to the bathroom then back upstairs then again while I skipped to the kitchen.
My father stared at me while I searched for breakfast. There was none. My brows furrows for a fraction of a second but nothing was going to ruin this day. I had gotten to see Devin and that was all I needed.
“You’re awfully chipper this morning,” Rebecca commented as she walked into the room. Her voice carried a bit of annoyance but I brushed it off.
“Yes,” I said walking over to my father. I placed a kiss on his cheek. “I am.”
“Would you like to explain why?” He asked.
“Just am.” I shrugged.
I grabbed my bag from the table and, after telling them bye, left the house for school.
The building I needed slowly started to come into view as I drew near. After parking, I went to my locker to retrieve my books but was surprised to see Jack leaning next to it.
“Hey,” I said fixing the combination.
“You seem happy,” he said after a moment.
I shrugged. “Yeah, I am.” I got my books and closed my locker.
“That’s good,” he said cupping my chin. Before I could stop him he placed a kiss on my lips.
I pulled back after a stunned second and saw Devin walk across the hall. I tried to bring my attention back to a stunned Jack. I’d never pulled away before. Normally it was he who released me.
“What’s wrong, babe?” He asked letting his hand fall.
What was wrong with me? I couldn’t see Jack while I was sleeping around with Devin. Didn’t that make me a slut? I couldn’t be a slut. I made fun of sluts; sleeping around with two guys when they already had a good one. This wasn’t right. I hadn’t thought about how wrong this was. But now that Jack was standing there with his innocent look I…I could do it.
“Uh…y-yes. But can give me a minute? I need to um…I need to turn something into one of my teachers. Can I talk to you later?”
“Yeah. Sure, anything.” He smiled. He was too good to me. I hated myself for betraying him like this.
He let me leave and I left for Devin’s room.
Devin looked up at my entrance but I turned to close and lock the door, not able to look into his gorgeous eyes. I placed my head on the door and tried to come up with the words. Sighing, I turned to see him standing. He started for me and I held up my hands.
He stopped, jaw snapping tight.
“We need to talk.” I began. I knew nothing good ever came after that but I felt it was appropriate. “I can’t do this to him.”
“Layla,” he said coming forward again.
“Please,” I begged. He stopped but his eyes showed obvious sadness. “I didn’t realize what it would do to him. Not even a week and I can tell he’s upset.” He stayed silent as I spoke. “I can’t…I don’t know. I want to be with you.” His eyes lit. “But this is wrong, this is so wrong.”
Someone slammed into the door, making me jump. I sighed as my heart settled.
“Layla,” he whispered, coming towards me again.
“I can’t. I won’t tell anyone, but I just…I can’t do this to him.” I opened the door and pushed past the cluster of students gathered by the door.
I could see two people were tussling in the center of the mass but it was unimportant right now. I had other things to think about than the idiotic girl fight that was happening. I pushed the crowd as best I could without anyone noticing.
“Layla!” Devin called. I turned briefly to see him torn between breaking up the fight and coming after me.
As I turned back I bumped into Rachel. She looked from the concerned Mr. Simmons to me. I knew my cheeks had to be red as a tomato along with my nose and eyes. A small smirk formed on her lips as she assessed me.
“Oh, get over yourself.” I told her. “I had to turn in an assignment.”
“Then why does it look like you’re nearly in tears?” She asked cocking her head to the side in an innocent gesture.
I glared as I walked past her to go to my first class. Hearing her small chuckle as I did so was going to irk me for the rest of the day.
Marana was already in her seat as I entered the classroom. When I sat next to her, she asked what was wrong with me; I laughed it off and told her nothing.
My day went like that until I got to the gym and saw Jack. I would not let him see how torn I was. Therefore, I put up a front.
It worked. He didn’t ask me what was wrong, he just escorted me to lunch like the gentlemen he was. He was happier than this morning when I had rejected him for which I was glad. I hoped that he would just forget the whole thing.
After lunch, he took me back to the gym but did not try to kiss me. Before he could walk off, I grabbed his arm and kissed his lips softly.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I told him after pulling away slightly. “I had a headache but now I’m better.”
If he knew I was lying, he didn’t say anything about it. He just smiled and told me it was okay then kissed me once more so he could leave for his class.