Dear Jainie

Contact Jainie at JaRay@advicemail.net and you might get your problems and solutions printed in this weeks newspaper!

 Yeah that's me, the advice lady. I always wanted to be something more than this, an action news reporter, a fiction writer with a mean story telling initiative. Well, I'm not. I can't get a single book published and I can't get a single person to read any of my rough drafts, much less the finely tuned and fully self critiqued semi-finished product. I feel like a failure. All is not lost though, I am not a failure to the good housewives of Osden County. These women love me and love my advice, they don't get much attention at home. Tons of emails come in every day, most asking how to make the woman's husband want her more. If I had the heart I would tell her to dump him where he was, most men leave their wives because they are too selfish to give up something they find harmless, or they are cheating with a disease ridden blonde bimbo that's only 20% human any more, the rest is plastic.

There was one in particular, I remember it well because I was scared for the woman's life and I just wanted so much to tell her to leave her deadbeat husband and take care of herself. It was a  Wednesday, sometime last June. A lady going by the alias, "Beatenbutnotbroken", emailed me a very long letter and asked if there was a number to reach me at. In this email, she sent pictures of her bruises and even pictures of how much blood she had lost after he knocked her over the head with her glass tea pitcher. I was livid to see that a man could do such awful things and then tell his wife he loves her and begs her not to leave. I thought for a moment while reading this letter, "Should I give her my personal number or the office number?". Part of me said she was just a poor defenseless woman with no one else to turn to and another said I couldn't be sure she wasn't a psycho fanatic who wanted nothing more than to stalk me. 

Hours later when I returned home for the day I got a message that someone had called my office looking for me, I had them forward my calls to my house and drew myself a bath. When my bath was over and I was watching T.V., I sat curled up with my crotchet, the phone rang. I answered the phone and it was the lady, her husband was out drinking and she was going to run away, she was going to run to the battered woman's shelter down the road where they were going to find her a place to live far from her husband. I told her to pack light and only get what she needed, she could get the rest of the stuff she wanted when they got their divorce. I was worried about her, she just needed to talk to someone and I knew she deserved to get away from this bastard she called a husband. 

I hung up the phone and started working on the next day's column, *Ping* , the email sound went off. I looked in my inbox and there was an email from her address.

Dear Jainie,

             Thank you for helping me escape my husband, thank you for giving me advice to leave him and never look back. I found a ride to the shelter it won't be too long and I will contact you again.                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Beatenbutnotbroken

YOU'RE NEXT BITCH! She's going to come back to me, you're gonna tell me where she is! She new better than to do this and now you will know better than to put your nose in a married man's business. Don't worry the things I do to you won't hurt... much.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Your Nightmares   

   I suddenly felt scared, I didn't know what to do and who to go to. I picked up my phone to call my cop friend and as I went to dial I got an instant message. He told me that going to the cops wouldn't help, he had some good friends with high powers in the cop world and no one would ever find out what happened to me because they would never file the report. He said to hang up the phone and keep my mouth shut. I sat there silent in my bed, worried that he was going to kill me in my sleep. I got up and locked all my doors and windows and finally after an hour and a half I fell asleep. 


  I woke in the morning feeling alright, I checked my email to see if I was just dreaming or if I had really been threatened.  I went to my shower and got in. I turned on the water and stood under the shower head, tears streaming down my face. I let out a loud sob and fell to my knees, crying and feeling like I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I stayed on my knees until the water ran cool, I got up and washed my hair and face. A million things went through my mind at once.


 I was worried that I would need to quit my job, worried I would need to stop being the person I was meant to be, or was I? Was I really in everyone else's business, sticking my nose where it didn't belong? These people were looking for someone to help them, someone to give them some guidance. I have always been amazed at how people felt my advice was so great. These men and women would wait for days to hear back from an email that they had sent me, the whole time having faith in me that I would give them a good idea or encouraging word. These people were basing a lot of things on my words, they needed someone and they chose me. I always wanted to be something more, this job doesn't look like much but I take my responsibility seriously. 


    I found my strength, got out of the bathroom and put on my clothes. I put on my makeup and brushed my hair, grabbed my bag and laptop and stepped out my door. Once I made it outside I felt the light morning air and got a chill up my spine. Panic set in, I wondered if I was alone. I looked all around me, every step I took closer to my car felt like I was falling into a deep pit. I hit the panic button on my keys, unlocked all of my doors and opened my trunk. I checked around everywhere making sure no one was hiding inside. I realized that I was alone and calmed down, got in the driver seat and buckled my belt. I let out a sigh and started to drive the 45 minutes to my office down town. I smiled and felt the worries melt right out with the sunshine coming into the car. 


     Once I got to the building I called my secretary,Melanie, down and asked her if she would walk with me up to our floor. Melanie was always good to me, we were like best friends and always had something to talk about. She asked me if I had answered the messages from this week. My mind drifted off to the first letter from the woman who needed to get away from her abusive husband. I had thought then, it was my responsibility to help a fellow woman get into a better place in life. I wasn't so sure I did it right, maybe there was something else I could have done for her that would have helped without giving myself away and becoming the target of such threats as the ones I had the night before. 


  I came to about 10 minutes later when I realized I was standing in front of the elevator door and Melanie was yelling my name over and over. She told me she noticed I had zone out a little, but didn't know it was so serious. She was worried about me and wanted to know what was going on. I was too afraid to tell her, she might say something to the wrong person. What could she do to help? She would just get involved and end up hurt along with me. I found myself saddened because, yet again, my nosiness (that I consider my job) had gotten me and the people I love into a bad situation. I shook my head and smiled big, I told her that I was thinking about what to get her  for her birthday. Of course she didn't buy it, but at least she stopped asking questions that would only get her, an innocent person, hurt or worse... killed. 


 We stepped into the elevator and pushed the number for the floor we work on and then I leaned my back against the smooth mirrored metal and zoned out once again. I was wondering if the woman from the letter had made it safely or if he had really done it. Did he hurt her, kill her? I wondered if she would be alright. My self pity ended and all I could think about was if the woman that I had tried so hard to help was still alive even. My heart hurt a little to think I could have something to do with the pain of another individual that didn't deserve it because I was trying to do a good deed. I snapped out of it again as the doors opened and the elevator dinged, Melanie and I walked out into the open hallway and passed one of the janitors cleaning up something that looked like ink. 


    Melanie stopped off at her desk, she looked up at me and smiled and then hugged me. I told her we would go out for lunch and talk about having a best friend's weekend soon if she wanted. I felt awful not being able to tell her what was wrong, but I knew that I would feel even more awful if she was dragged into everything that was happening to me. I turned around and headed into my office, my eyes peering into the glass in my door. I saw nothing or no one when I looked in. Good, I could go in and get to work on the emails for the next few days and maybe lay low until this craziness blows over. I walked in, opened my bag and pulled out my laptop, threw my coat across the lounger near the window and sat down at my desk. I assumed that things weren't going to go bad now, they were just fine and I was going to do my usual and go home.

 As I started reading a new email about a man who needed advice about his daughter and her boyfriend, I found I needed a pencil and some paper so that I could jot down some answers that came to my head. I opened my top drawer where the pencils were supposed to be and found a note. It read :


Jainie, 
   Don't think  I forgot you, don't think you are off that easy. I am not stupid and I promise you will never know when it's coming but you're going to get what you deserve after getting into our business. You probably should have ignored the emails from my wife and you probably should have never allowed her to call you. You will be sorry soon and don't worry... it won't hurt.... much. 




 After reading the note I called the security office and asked them if they had video of around my office. To my surprise they said the cameras near my office were broken and someone was supposed to be fixing them later in the evening. I decided I was leaving early, there was no way I was going to be in a non secure office so that something bad could happen to me without anyone being able to help me. At lunch I told Melanie I was going home early and if she wanted she could call me later. I told her I was stressed over some family stuff and that I need some time alone to think of ways to relieve that stress. I left at 2 that afternoon, I made a security guard walk me to my car and check it for someone hiding in the back. The guard thought I was losing my mind, if only he knew the threats I had been subject to the last two days. I could never tell anyone because no one would believe me.


  I made it home around 3 and found myself alone in my house, I checked all my doors and windows to make sure they were locked, I checked all the closets for someone that didn't belong and I took a nice soak in the tub. Around 6:30 I ate dinner and by 8:15 I was in bed reading the novel I picked up on my birthday. I found myself getting sleepy and wondered why I was so tired, the book wasn't boring and the wine I had poured myself was delicious. It wasn't long and I had fallen fast asleep. I dropped my glass of wine on the floor beside my bed and could feel myself drooling.


  I felt myself moving around, I was asleep and didn't understand how I could be moving. I tried hard to open my eyes, they wouldn't budge. Just when I got my eyes opened a sliver I saw a dark figure leaned over my bedside, it was picking me up and moving me. I tried to fight the figure off but my arms and legs wouldn't move. I tried to scream, my mouth wouldn't move and my voice wouldn't come out. I tried so hard but there was no resisting the figure, no way I was getting away. I felt myself being laid down on something that felt like carpet and my hands being tied. I felt someone covering my mouth with a cloth and  then heard a loud thunk. A few minutes went by and I felt myself moving again and heard a car engine. Was I in someone's car, was I getting taken away from my home?


  I woke up laying on a couch, my hands tied and behind my back, my legs chained to the couch and my mouth was still gagged. I tried to scream but all that came out was muffled random nothingness. He did it, he kidnapped me and now he was going to hurt me or maybe even kill me. I started to panic, my heart was beating hard and my head was hurting something awful. I wanted to wiggle out and run as fast as I could, hell I would have quit my job at that point in time and became a hobo, as long as I was safe and unharmed. I squirmed a little and then the figure appeared again holding a long needle. I shook my head no and it ignored me, then the figure placed the needle into my arm and I passed out again. 


(To be continued....)