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Deflowered.

Novel By: SugarCoated
Romance



There's something intriguing about Alec and Tessa can't seem to keep her distance. The only problem is that he kidnapped her. View table of contents...


Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Submitted:Jan 29, 2013    Reads: 1,909    Comments: 14    Likes: 9   


(Tessa's Terrified Point of View)

His touch disgusted me.

I wanted nothing more then for him to get away.

It was his fault that I was in this mess! His! He brought me here! Even if I did go willingly it was to conserve my strength, or that's what I keep telling myself.

It doesn't matter anyway, because this, this thing, wouldn't have happened to me if he hadn't come into my life.

And he acted as if he cared! He could try to cry and hug me to make me feel better all he wants, but I wouldn't have any of it. It was his fault. He probably planned the whole situation with the boss. So fuck him! I don't want anything to do with him anymore.

But I can't lie to myself like that.

The worst part is that I do want him.

The whole time Southwood was having his way on me, through all of the pounding and pain and screams and tears, all I could think of was that I wanted Alec on top of me.

I hate him. I really, really do.

But the moment that Southwood took my virginity, I also realized that I... that I love him too.

Or I think that I do. But my mind is so clouded with love and hate and judgement and broken innocence. And so much blood...

When Southwood left, Alec ran to me, and laid down next to me in the bed. His arms around me were such a sweet distraction, his lips buried into my neck as he sobbed. Why was he sobbing? He wasn't the one that just got raped.

I couldn't bare to look at him. I thought that if I did, if I looked at the unexplainable sadness in his eyes, I might forgive him. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did. I needed to stay strong and push him away.

So I said the first thing that came to mind. "Get off me." my voice was shaky, but it should be after I just got raped, right?

"What?" he asked. I swallowed at the hurt and confusion in his eyes. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and let him hold me while I cried myself to sleep. But I couldn't. Because he kidnapped me and got me into this fucking mess.

"Get the fuck off me, you bastard! I never want to see you again!" I screamed so that he knew that I meant it and so that I didn't have a chance to take it back. I opened my eyes, willing myself to give him an angry look so that he knew I wasn't kidding around. I was disgusted in myself for no reason.

He gave me one last shocked look, the hurt practically burning into me, before rolling off the bed and standing next to it, looking down at me. "I, umm, I'm sorry for whatever I did... I, ah-"

I cut him off. "I don't care. Just get me to my room where I can wash up and sleep."

"Okay, umm, let's go." He said nervously. I sat up and winced. I was incredibly sore from Southwoods enjoyment, and I whimpered as I tried to stand.

Alec rushed to my side. "Are you okay?!" He grabbed my arm as if to keep me from falling over, but I flinched from his touch. He looked down at me. I closed my eyes to block out the sadness in his. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to know if you were okay."

I could hardly bare the agony in his voice, but I only flinched so that I could get away, because I knew that one touch was all that it would take for me to forgive him. Ugh! Why is this happening to me? How did I get in this mess? How did I fall in love with someone like him?

I opened my eyes. He had fresh tears running down his face and I whimpered from seeing him hurt. I looked down so that I didn't have to see anymore.

I got up and walked slowly towards the door, then looked back to see if he was following him. I took slow, careful, agonizing steps until we reached the door that I assumed was ours.

He opened it up and I walked inside, quickly making my escape as far from Alec as possible. I didn't trust myself alone with him, no matter how much I hated him and how sore I was.

"Okay, now, I would like to know why you are so mad with me? I had no idea that that was going to happen. I was so happy that I was going to be your first and that was ripped away from me. Now, I would like to know why you are so pissed off at me?!" His voice was raised.

I considered ignoring him. I was almost sure that they had planned it together and... wait, was that it? He was upset because he didn't get to have his way with a virgin? Fuck boys and their cocks. They all need to be chopped off before it all gets to their brain.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you that fucking ignorant? You just witnessed what happened in there, you moron!" I couldn't help that I screamed. Why was he being so stupid?!

"Yes, I saw him... ah, take you. It was the worst hour of my life, but I can't change what happened. I fought to get to you. It was no use. I wanted to be here for you afterwards, so I gave up before they killed me or locked me away or whatever else satisfies their sick fantasies. I didn't want that to happen to you, but it was out of my control!"

I laughed. "You think that I'm pissed of that you didn't save me? You are not my knight in shining armour," I wish you were, "and you never will be. I don't need you to save me. In fact, I don't need you at all!" The lies kept exploding out of my mouth, fuelled by his anger and hurt.

"Well if that's the case, princess, why the fuck are you mad at me?!" His voice was sarcastic as he said the word 'princess.'

"You are so naive! I'm not totally mad about you watching as I got raped, well, I am mad, but as you said there was nothing you could do. It's because you brought me into this situation! Why me? I'm not special! But you brought me here and that's why I'm mad."

"You weren't mad yesterday when you had your hands in my pants." He laughed humourlessly. I stared back shocked. I cannot believe he said that. But I guess that's all that I was to him this whole time. Just some toy that he could use for his fun and games, without a care about my emotions. They all fall for him. And he uses them.

"I see how it is." I spun on my heels and headed toward the bathroom, slamming the door closed and locking it. I stood there for a while before falling to the ground in a mess of uncontrollable sobs and tears.

There was a knock at the door. I ignored him. He could probably hear me through the door, but I didn't care. He could think whatever he wanted about me.

"Tessa! Tess, are you okay? Open up please." His voice was soft but I ignored him again. "God dammit!" he slammed a fist against the door. "Tessa, I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! You mean more to me than that. I can't explain it, and I can't control it, but you mean... a lot to me. I am really, really sorry that I got you into this mess. I am. I'm sorry. I didn't want to do it, and I don't know why but I can't stand to see you like this. You... You..."

I sobbed again as he struggled for words. His words meant so much, but I still didn't know whether I could trust him. This might be some sick joke.

"You asked why you got kidnapped. You said that you weren't special. And I didn't know why either, I just followed orders as usual. But Tess, you must be special because you make me feel like... Like I can't even describe. You aren't even aware of the effect that you have on me. I've never wanted anyone more than I want you, and I'm so, so sorry for what happened. That is the last thing that I wanted, trust me." He paused, waiting for me to say something. "Tess? Open the door please. Let me in."

I covered my face in my hands, wanting his words to stop. I wanted to take his pain away, while he took away mine, but I was still mad. I wasn't even sure what I was mad about anymore, but Alec was the only one around so I directed my anger towards him.

"Please leave me alone." I managed before I broke down in more tears.

"Tess, please! I want to help you!" He tried the door handle. I ignored him and turned on the shower, stepping in when the temperature was warm. I washed myself slowly, but vigorously. I wanted every reminder removed.

I made sure that his smell was gone, the feeling of his greasy fingers removed. I carefully washed away the dry blood and watched as it swirled away down the drain. My innocence washed away, disappeared, all so quickly.

I waited a bit longer in the shower, my fingers past the state of being shriveled, before I finally stepped out wrapping myself in a towel. I looked around. Fuck! No clothes. I cracked the door open to see where Alec was and found a pile of modest pajamas placed at the door. I snatched them up and quickly got dressed.

When I walked out Alec looked up from where he was sitting on the couch. He gave me a small smile but didn't say anything. I walked to the bed, eying him suspiciously. He laid back on the couch, his head resting on pillows and reached down to pull a thin blanket up.

I was racked with guilt for a moment. It was a cold night and he had such a thin blanket. But I wasn't giving up my doona to give myself up to the same freezing fate.

For at least ten minutes I rolled around, losing an epic mental battle. Eventually, I sighed loudly, admitting defeat.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch." I spoke quietly, but my voice rung around the previously silent room.

"What do you mean?" he asked timidly, almost hopeful.

"I mean, you can sleep in the bed if you want."

"Are you sure? I mean, you've practically avoided me like the plague and now you want me to..." He drifted off.

I sighed again. "Yes, I'm sure. Now hurry up before I change my mind."

He hurried over, and laid down carefully, snuggling under the blankets. I was as far as possible on one side and him on the other. I was slightly worried that he might try something but he just gave me a small smile and simply said, "goodnight."

I fell asleep looking into his eyes.

A/N: Oh my God! Look how quick I updated! Don't expect it to continue though, school starts again in a few days and I thought that I should hurry and upload this chapter, before I literally drown in homework. I might not upload for a while though! I'm sorry! :)xx





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