"I knew there was something going on between you and Sam," Briana said triumphantly.
"You don't know the half of it," Grace muttered into the dregs of her Tequila. They had switched to hard liquor not long after Grace had persuaded Brandon to leave.
"What's it like doing the two hottest men in the known universe?" Briana asked and then added dreamily, "who'd have thought Brandon was that fine! You always made him sound really annoying."
"He is really annoying," Grace said.
"And Sam?" Lisa asked, "Is he annoying?"
"No," Grace said quietly, "Not at all."
"Hot and not annoying," Lisa said thoughtfully, "That is a problem."
"It's not funny you two," Grace protested, gesturing to the barman for another shot. "And it's not that simple."
"Seems fairly simple to me," said Lisa. "Sam Anderson really likes you and he's really really hot."
"Being hot isn't everything," Grace said wearily. "You of all people should know that."
"What are you inferring?" Lisa cried in mock outrage. "Are you suggesting my Dave isn't a Greek God?"
"I'm suggesting that you love him for more than his looks."
"Yer, I love him for his huge dick!"
"Lisa!" both Grace and Briana cried out in unison as the barman dropped a glass on the floor with a crash.
"What? He has a huge dick! I'm just stating a fact."
Grace giggled. The Tequila was creating the desired effect and Lisa may be crude at times but at least she was helping her to keep her mind off Brandon, who at this moment must be on his sad and lonely way to the airport to deliver the hire car he had only just collected.
"Poor Brandon," she slurred into her half empty glass.
"Forget him," Lisa said swinging her arm so vigorously she almost fell off her barstool. "He broke your heart first, remember?"
"He should have known I wouldn't want to marry him. Doesn't he know me at all?"
"God! You have TWO really hot guys," Briana said wistfully, obviously not able to move on from that particular aspect of Grace's predicament. Lisa and Grace raised their eyebrows at each other.
"I HAD two really hot guys," Grace corrected her. "Maybe Greg will take me back?"
"I'd forgotten about Greg!" Briana cried, "He was quite hot too!"
"So," Lisa said, ignoring Briana and suddenly sounding serious, "exactly why aren't you and Sam together?"
Grace thought for a moment, apparently expecting to find the answer in the bottom of her glass. "He can't commit," she eventually said.
"How banal!" Briana complained. "And kind of disappointingly predictable. The ones you don't want can commit, and the one you want, can't."
"That's very profound, Briana," Lisa said, slowly nodding her head. "And I am absolutely amazed you managed to say that after three shots of tequila."
Grace suddenly got off the stool and declared, "I'm drunk. I'm going home," and,grabbing her coat, put her arm through the wrong sleeve.
As she stumbled towards the exit, Lisa yelled across the bar, "hey! You never told us what Mr Sexy's like in bed!" Grace just waved her hand in the air and continued on her way.