Chapter 21: What is trust?
I wanted to run home go into my room and close the door and never come out. I walked through the dark streets. I was like two blocks away from Lance's house now.
I can't believe I let Lance kiss me. I felt terrible although I did enjoy the kiss. A lot.This was stupid. I need to go back. Its too dark to be out here alone. My house wasn't far away. I should go back and apologize to Lance. I heard footsteps behind me and I stopped and turned for a second to see two guys walking and laughing loudly.
I crossed the street and turned to walk back to Lance's house.
"Hey! Come here!" Shouted one of the guys. I closed my eyes for a second and continued walking.
"Hey! Bitch, come here!" Said the other. A shiver of fear ran over my body. I suddenly broke into a run and I heard the footsteps break off into a run after me. I screamed but my mouth was suddenly covered and I was being dragged into a field of grass. Not a car in the distance. I began crying loudly under the hand that was covering my mouth. I was thrown onto the ground. Then I felt my shoes being taken off quickly and my jeans being pulled down. I started kicking and screaming and there was suddenly a pocket knife to my throat. "Shut the fuck up." One of the guys whispered against my cheek. My panties were being pulled down next. I couldn't think straight. I was too scared at this moment.
A familiar looking white car was slowly driving down the street. I could see it but I doubt if it could see me. I saw the window was down. "Lance!" I called without thinking and the knife dug into my throat and I gasped. I could fell warm blood slowly pouring down my neck onto my shirt. The car stopped and a figure came running towards me with something black in his hand. As he came closer, I saw it was Lance. I thanked god in my head and started crying in relief. My neck was still hurting from the stab wound. I opened my eyes wider. My vision was getting kind of blurry.
"Get the fuck away from her." Lance said in a threatening tone. I squinted my eyes to see he had a gun in his hand pointing it at the guy who was half way on me. The other guy with the knife didn't seem scared of Lance or the gun in his hand. He stayed where he was. The other guy who had dirty blonde hair slowly got off of me and held his hands up in defeat. He slowly backed away. "Come on, Jimmy." The man said in a low voice. The guy called Jimmy stayed where he was. "Why are you scared of him? He's just a little pussy."
"You might want to watch what you call me. I'm the one with the fucking gun in my hand." Lance said. I looked up at Jimmy. He looked back down on me and smiled. "This must be your bitch. I bet you're fucking her every night. She looks like she's got a tight little pussy." He grabbed a handful of my hair and I cried out.
"I swear to god, you better let her go." Lance said.
"Or what?" Jimmy asked.
There was suddenly a gun shot. A loud one. It made me jump and my heart quickened in fear. The bullet didn't hit anyone. It was slightly buried in the low cut grass.
"That's what." Lance whispered. Jimmy let go of my hair and slowly backed away as the other man did. They both slowly started walking away. More like jogging away.
"We need to get you to the hospital." Lance said. He gave me my clothes and I put them on and he made me get in his car. We were quiet on the way to the hospital. They helped me and there was now a huge bandage on my neck where the knife stabbed in. I told them I didn't want to file a police report. I just wanted to forget about this night.
When I was released, it was midnight. And me and Lance was back
in his car. My tears were now dried up. "I'm so sorry." Lance
said. I looked over to him.
"For what? You rescued me tonight." I said. He shook his head. "I should have never let you go. I'm such a fucking idiot. I thought maybe I'll let you calm down for a little and thought I'd just let you walk home in the dark."
"But you came. That's what matters. Give yourself some credit. Think about it. It could have been much worse . You probably wouldn't have made it in time before they………." I shut my mouth and looked ahead out of the windshield. Lance was looking at me. I could feel it. "Can I……..?
"Can you what?" He asked. I shook my head never mind. "No. No. Tell me." He whispered. I looked at him. "I don't want to go home. Can I just stay over your house for a little bit? I just feel safer there."
"Of course you can stay." He said. I felt relief and calmness wash over me as I leaned back in the seat. I closed my eyes for a second hoping to get this whole situation out of my head. But I couldn't. It was fresh in my mind and wasn't going away. But it could have been much worse. Much, much worse.
When we got back to Lance's house, we both went up to his room. He sat down in a black leather chair in his room and I sat down in his bed. He kept glancing at me. "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine. It didn't affect me that badly. Nothing really happened." I said. Lance nodded.
"Why don't we go see the Hunger games tonight? To get your mind off things."
"I'm fine, Lance. I swear. I feel safe now. Plus I'm tired." I said. He nodded and got up. He went to his dresser and opened the drawer. He brought out a pair of shorts.
"You can wear these to bed." He said. I smiled and nodded. "Thank you." I went into his bathroom and splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror. The doctors gave me pills for the pain. The cut wasn't too deep thank god. I took two pills and took off my jeans and pulled on Lance's shorts which were huge. There was a drawer of rubber bands in the corner and I bunched up the waistline and tied the rubber band around it. I then went into his bedroom and pulled the covers back and laid in his bed. He smiled at me apologetically.
"Thank you for letting me stay, Lance. I'm sorry that you had to do this for me."
"Beth, you must not understand how much you mean to me. This was no trouble. I would love to go back and kick those guy's asses but being here with you is more important. You are important to me." He said staring me in my eyes. I nodded and breathed out deeply. "Get some sleep." He whispered as he turned the lamp off.
I quickly fell asleep to the light trickle of rain that was pouring down outside.
I sat in my chair looking at Beth as she slept. The light from the streetlight was shining into my window and it shined dimly on Beth's face. She was fucking stunning when she slept. Her brunette hair was lying across her face and across my white pillow. I loved how her hair curled up at the end. Everything about Beth fascinated me. Everything. She was just that kind of girl. I hated to have to bring my gun out in front of her but it was necessary at that time.
I wanted to kill those motherfuckers. I don't see how people do shit like that. What's so awesome about raping someone? If you want to get fucked, go see a damn prostitute. This night seriously pissed me off.
It was amazing first because Beth actually kissed me back. But then this had to happen. What the fuck, man. I dug into my pocket and got out my cigarettes and then my lighter. I lit up a cigarette and continued watching Beth as she slept.
When I woke up, I was alone in the room. I wiped my eyes and sat up. I immediately felt queasiness in my stomach. I went to the bathroom and I threw up in the toilet. It was a lot and a mixture of red and cream color. I washed out my mouth and I heard voices downstairs and light music playing. I pulled the black cover off of me and stepped onto the white tile floor. I ran my fingers through my hair as I walked to the door and opened it. I slowly walked downstairs. When I got into a kitchen, I saw Patricia and Lance cooking. And a man was sitting at the table smiling admiringly at Patricia as she danced to the music. Patricia was the first to notice me. "Beth! Hi honey." She dropped a bowl of egg mixture on the table and came over to me with her arms extended. "I heard about what happened." She hugged me tightly. I felt comforted in the hug. "I'm so sorry that happened." She whispered.
"Thank you." I said. She let go of me and then looked to the man at the table. "That's my husband, Mick." She said. I waved at him and he waved back and smiled.
"Sit in a stool while we finish breakfast." She said. I sat in a stool and watched as Lance placed pieces of bacon into a skillet. He washed his hands and turned to me. "Alicia's on her way over here."
"She's mad at me." I said. He shrugged. "She didn't sound mad. I told her what happened."
I sighed. "Lance, I just want to forget about it. Nothing happened. Everything is fine now. I'm not hurt. I wasn't raped. I'm fine. I promise."
"I know but you still need the comfort of your best friend." He said. The doorbell rang and Patricia looked at me and so did Lance. I nodded understanding they wanted me to get the door. I got out of the stool and went to the living room and to the door. I unlocked it and then opened it. Alicia immediately walked in and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back just as tightly. "I'm sorry I got mad at you." I said. She nodded.
I soon closed the door and we began talking in the living room. "The man didn't actually rape me. He wasn't actually inside of me." I said. Alicia sighed. I almost saw tears in her eyes. "God, Beth. When Lance told me that, I bust out in tears. You have no idea, Beth. You getting hurt is me getting hurt." She said. I smiled at her and she smiled back at me. Lance and Patricia came into the living room then.
"Hey, Alicia." Lance said as he sat down next to me. She smiled
at him and then at Patricia.
"You're Patricia right?" She asked. Patricia nodded and smiled at her.
We stayed and talked for a little while until Alicia took me home in Andy's car. "So, why were you mad at me yesterday?" She asked. I breathed out silently. "Forget it, Alicia." I said. She sighed. "Come on. Just tell me. I won't get mad. I just want to know why because you never get mad at me."
I looked at her. "Logan had feelings for you." I finally said. Her expression changed immediately to guilt. SH slowed the car down. I stared at her face. "You knew?" I asked. She stopped at a red light and slowly looked to me. "He called me a couple times. That's all."
"I can't believe you."
"I hung up on him after he called me the first time. I never did anything with him, Beth. I swear."
"Why didn't you tell me that he called you?!"
"Because I knew it'd hurt you."
"It hurts me now. I can't trust anyone in this damn world." I opened the door and slammed it shut.
"No. I'm not allowing you to walk home. Get back in the car." Alicia said. I shook my head and started walking on the sidewalk. Why was everyone betraying me? What the hell did I do that was so wrong that had everyone doing this to me?