I love me. Why? Why ever not?
Mom and dad, and my teachers, and all those big, bad older people told me that I must esteem myself only when I behaved in a manner that made them feel good. So I learned to equate esteeming myself with getting approval from others. Fast forward many years later, and someone whose opinion I value looks at me askance, and suddenly I feel unworthy. Small wonder this.
I realize now that mom, dad, my teachers and all those big, bad older people don't actually know everything. Well, I still love them. But in all earnestness, screw them. I don't mean screw them. Not at all. I mean every new person I run into has another opinion. Whose opinion shall I esteem? Whose approval shall I seek? So, screw the opinions of others. Y'all are entitled to all your opinions, and you are wonderful human beings, but your opinion does not determine how I feel about myself.
Your opinion of me is none of my business.
Repeat after me:
Your opinion of me is none of my business.
Eureka! I shall seek my own approval. I love me. Why? Because it feels so damn good! Do you know how ridiculously good it feels to accept oneself, without any reservations? Then why don't we do it?
Great leaders have such a massive aura of self confidence around them, burning off of them as though they were an energy source. So much so that people who step into their presence leave believing that phenomenal things are possible. Great saints and sages are even further along in such an aura, and in the presence of a great spiritual teacher, people generally forget their self doubt and dare to dream again.
That, dear reader, is my assignment for you, and for myself. Dare to dream again. Have such raw, unadulterated confidence in what you can accomplish, that nothing fazes you again. Whenever self doubt rears its ugly head, squash it then and there, and know it to be the impostor that it is. Believe in yourself the way Napoleon did, for instance. He may not be the best role model for everything, but it is said that his belief in himself was so potent that he was content to go and embrace people suffering from the plague, 'knowing' that nothing could harm Napoleon. His fortunes changed after his belief in himself eroded. Whether this is true or not, imagine having such a potent store of self confidence, so that anybody within a few meters of you points and says, "Look, there she is. I don't know what it is, but she never doubts herself. Not once. She fails, but she picks herself up again, and again, and again. What a strong person she is!"
Powerful quotes on self confidence
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve
your love and affection"
― Gautama Buddha
"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary
project, all of your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind
transcends limitations; your consciousness expands in every
direction; and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful
world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you
discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever dreamed
yourself to be."
"I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the
more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself."
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
"When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of
people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the
person who doesn't."
― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart
"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to
be able to do it."
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
"I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know
how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!"
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero
"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring
the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my
― Frederick Douglass
"Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you
believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of
self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we
― Iyanla Vincent
"As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by
seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster.
You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give
you that. You have to know who you are - what others say is
― Nic Sheff
"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."
― Henry Ford
"Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you
value your time, you will not do anything with it. "
― M. Scott Peck
"Be faithful to that which exists within yourself."
― André Gide
"It's not my responsibility to be beautiful. I'm not alive for
that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find
― Warsan Shire
"I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself
if some people did."
― Henry James
"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a
humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be
successful or happy."
― Norman Vincent Peale
"I used to be self conscious about my height, but then I thought,
fuck that, I'm Harry Potter."
― Daniel Radcliffe
"People may flatter themselves just as much by thinking that
their faults are always present to other people's minds, as if
they believe that the world is always contemplating their
individual charms and virtues."
― Elizabeth Haskell
"Believe you can and you're halfway there."
― Theodore Roosevelt