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Survival guide to dogging

Poetry By: Shane P

Really rude but funny poem about dogging (NOT FOR KIDS)

Submitted:Jan 26, 2013    Reads: 144    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   

Here's a few tips when you're dogging,

It involves humping, grunting and some heavy snogging,

You pull into the park,

But make sure that it's dark,

Or you'll get a few stares off people who are jogging,


You pull up and give your horn a little beep,

I'd recommend something big like a range rover or a jeep,

If you take 1 of those small cars,

You'll get a gearstick in your arse,

Check the bushes 'cause there's usually a pervy, hiding creep,


If you see a policeman and he gives you a little fright,

While he's looking through your steamed windows observing with his light,

Don't jump and do not slip,

Or you're really in the shit,

He's probably just intregued and looking for an invite,


So now it's you, the copper and your mrs,

Getting sweaty, steamy, smelly while doing this dirty business,

But make sure that you join in,

And not just sit there with a grin,

Or you're nothing more than an awkward witness,


Keep a firm grip on her shoulders or her hips,

Wrap up your manhood 'cause she don't want cum sprayed all on her tits,

And if you don't have leather seats,

Take some plastic sheets,

I hope you enjoyed these tried and tested tips.


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