From the moment I was born, I was hated. This did not change as I lived through a life that belonged to someone else, but I had to live. In my twenty years on this planet called Earth, I learnt more than I should have. My birth certificate said my name was Dominic Day, and that I was born on Halloween, in the year 2000. I have no idea if it is right; my parents were practically always stoned and/or drunk, so for all I know, I could have been born in 1999, on a completely different date.
I quit university; I did not want to study French anymore. When was I going to have the money to go to France anyway? I wanted to work, but not in France. I wanted to work as a receptionist. Shock horror, a guy wanted to have a girl's job; yes, I heard it all from my friends. Well, I called them friends. They were not really friends; they were more like people who thought they knew me, who I had met on this journey called Life.
Near my old university, there was the student caf鮠That's where she worked. Even in her uniform, I could not help but lust. I never spoke to her, never got close enough to read her nametag. She was beautiful, flawless, so knowing my luck, she was either married, did not like guys, or both. I ordered my usual chocolate milkshake and double chocolate muffin before running out. I ran home, not knowing where else to go.
Once I was home, I threw myself onto my bed, switching on the stereo. Something began to play; the CD was not mine, but my friend's. After a few minutes of rubbish music, I changed the CD; soothing rock music came flooding through the speakers. I laid back on my bed, thinking about her. Stupid, I know, but I thought about having a future with her. I could imagine our children; they'd all look perfect, but make the biggest mistakes they could manage. The looks would be from her; the mistakes from me.
For weeks, I had been thinking about her and nothing else. She had distracted me from everything, even my work, and I did not even know her name, until that fateful meeting. That's when I first spoke to her.
I know it was not a romantic meeting, but we first met in the doctor's waiting room. She was sitting alone, reading. Dressed in a black velvet corset, and a knee length black velvet skirt, she was divine. Her boots looked impossible to walk in; I guessed they were at least five inches with a two inch platform. She looked up at me and smiled. I could not help but smile back. She had such beautiful eyes; they were not brown, but very close to it. They reminded me of the skin of an Ancient Egyptian corpse, buried in the sand rather than mummified. Her hair was exactly the same color.
She came over. She moved with such elegance and grace, it was impossible not to stare. She made it look so easy to walk in those heels, and from many dares, I knew it was difficult not to fall on your face. She kept smiling at me, warmly, waiting for me to say or do something. Her beauty had me lost for words.
"Hi there. I'm Amanda," she said. With the slightest hint of a French accent, I could not help but smile.
"Hey, my name's Dominic," And from that moment we were friends.
I was late by ten minutes. It was our first date; she wanted to meet me again, but I decided where to go. Waiting outside the cinema, she looked just as stunning as when I first saw her. Wearing a deep purple skirt, and a matching velvet corset, she looked like a model for a Gothic and female version of GQ. She put me to shame. Dressed in a shirt and two piece suit - I had just come from work - I looked ridiculous against her.
"I'm so sorry I'm late. Bad traffic on the roads. I think there's been an accident or something." I kissed her lightly on the cheek. "You look amazing," I whispered in her ear. I pulled back a little to look at her. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her into a tight hug.
"Hey, you're gonna kill me if you don't let go," she giggled. I let go, but kept my hands at the small of her back. "Guess you can't keep your hands off me, huh?" Slowly, she stepped closer, kissing me gently at first, then got harder. Breathless, she pulled away. "C'mon, the movie's gonna start soon."
I took her hand in mine. She shook her head, meaning no. She stood beside me, and wrapped her arm around my waist. Grinning like the cat who got the cream, my arm somehow managed to lay across her shoulders perfectly. She was just the right height for me. At four inches shorter than me when not in heels, she was perfect, almost like she was made just for me.
I have no idea what the movie was about, but we did create a rather large mess on the seat in front of us, if you catch my drift. Half way during the movie, she sat up, and led me outside.? I wiped her lips with my thumb gently, then sucked it clean. She kissed me so gently, yet so passionately. After a while, she broke it, and looked like she was about to cry.
"I don't want you to say anything. I know we've only known each other a few weeks, but I know how I feel. Deep inside, part of me just begs to be with you, to be in your arms, to be owned by you…to be loved by you. Dom, I love you."
Before I had a chance to comprehend what she said, she ran. She did not walk fast, but she literally ran. I tried to run after her, calling her name, but she did not turn back. Then, suddenly out of no where, I knew where she was going. I ran down an alleyway, and managed to be in front of her as she turned the corner.
She had tears flowing from her eyes. I held her in my arms. It was all I could do. When she started to calm down, I whispered in her ear, "It's ok. I love you too," then we kissed, more passionately than what we ever dreamt of.
Taking me by the hand, she started to lead me somewhere. "My place is near. Now I know how you feel, I think its time. How did you know where I was going?"
"Mandy, I can honestly say I didn't know. Something just felt right about going down that one path. I don't know what it was. Are we here now?" We stopped, and a nod from Mandy told me that this huge, white building was her home. "We going in, or freezing ourselves to little ice cubes out here?"
She laughed. After a few minutes of looking in her many pockets for her keys, we went inside. It did not look like a home, more of somewhere for very rich people to live. "My parents gave me the house for my twentieth birthday. Feels so empty with only me living here. That doesn't matter now. Follow me, my darling." She walked upstairs, with her hand firmly in mine, I had no choice but to follow.
Two flights of stairs later, we were outside her bedroom. She kissed me, pressing her whole body against mine; I could tell from her touch she knew that I was very happy for her to be there. She opened the door with a kick, still kissing me. Expertly, she led me to her bed, still with tongues in each other's mouths. Once we were both sitting on her bed, she broke the kiss. "I didn't ask. Are you ok with this?"
I smiled at her, stroked her cheek, and then ran my fingers through her glossy brown hair. "I love you. It doesn't matter what I want. What do you want, my sweet?"
"This." With that one word, she began to take off my blazer, slowly and gently. I watched, mesmerized by her movements, as she undone each button of my shirt, then took it off me. I held her hands for a moment, making her look up at me. I kissed her fingertips, one by one, not taking my eyes off her beautiful face. I moved closer to her, trying to unlace her from her restrictive corset. Luckily, it came off her without much assistance. I helped her to lay on her back on the bed, taking off her boots and skirt gently and slowly. Somehow, by that point, I had lost the trousers. I looked down at her, taking in every detail of her body. She was perfect. "Are you just gonna stare, or you gonna touch me?"
I blushed; I could not help it. "Am I your first?"
She looked away. I sat next to her, stroking her hair. "What is it?"?She moved my hand away. "I think its best you go." I could not hide the confusion on my face. "It's not your fault. I…" She covered her eyes and began to cry. I held her in my arms tightly, and waited until she was able to talk again. "I'm sorry. I should have told you before we got this far." She wiped her eyes, smudging her eye makeup. "I was raped."
I pulled her away from me, just to look in her eyes, just to make sure she was not lying, before pulling her into a tight hug. "D'you wanna tell me about it?"
"I was young, sixteen. I was walking home, alone, and he came out of nowhere. He pinned me against a wall, and raped me." As she spoke, her eyes were looking around the room as though she was not there, but as though she was reliving that night. "I said no countless times. I'm sorry."
I held her close to me again, blinking back my own tears. How could someone do that? "You don't need to apologize to me. It wasn't your fault. If you don't want to do this, I'll understand, but I don't want to leave you. I love you." My voice was shaking, and I gave up trying to not cry. I let the tears fall. "We both have our demons, darling, we both have our demons." I kissed the top of her head. She hugged me hard.
Once it was my turn to calm down, she gently wiped my tears away with her thumb. "If you don't want to, then fine, but…what are your demons?"
I closed my eyes. Memories of my childhood came back. Abusive parents, with no one else to take care of me, I found a sanctuary in my own mind. I created my own reality, where I had friends who actually cared about me. Somehow, during all this thinking, for the first time ever, I was actually telling Mandy about my memories. I let the tears fall one last time. Once again, she wiped them away. Neither of us cared that our clothes were strewn across the room; we were holding each other as we talked of our demons. As weird as it sounds, I could almost feel our demons flying out the window.
She gently kissed me. "I'd understand if you want to leave this for another day." I smiled, shook my head, and pulled her close to me. I let my hand explore her body for the first time. Her skin was so soft; she shivered under my touch initially, but then she began to moan when I reached any sensitive parts. I helped her to lay on the bed on her stomach; I used both hands to gently massage her neck and shoulders. I could feel her relax under my touch. I moved down her back, slowly, not changing the pressure I was using. When I knew she was fully relaxed, I moved my hands back up, but moved them round, and started to gently touch her breasts. She rolled onto her back, smiling and nodding. "I know you've been waiting weeks to do this. Oh God please, just do it."
I lowered myself down, and kissed her left breast. She arched her back, her body begging me to do more. Gripping her nipple in my teeth, I pulled gently. A groan left her lips. She took my hand, and moved it to her groin. It is what she wants me to do, I thought to myself. Without taking my eyes away from hers, slowly and gently, I slipped in one finger. Another groan escaped her lips. I kissed her gently but passionately, while slipping in a second finger. She broke the kiss. "Did I do something wrong?" I slipped both fingers out slowly, not wanting to hurt her.
"Oh, Dom, no it isn't that. I just don't want much foreplay. I want you to make me yours, for you to claim me. Take me into your arms, and slide inside me, please."
"As you wish, my Mandy." I was already hard, so I knelt between her legs, hands by her shoulders. With a movement of my hips, I entered her. She was obviously in pain, so I stopped moving. "This is hurting you. I don't want that. I'm gonna pull out as slowly as I can, and I'm sorry." I began to pull out, exactly as I said.
"Maybe foreplay is a good idea, huh?" A few tears fell from her eyes. Once I was out, I wrapped an arm around the back of her shoulders, and wiped her tears away with my free hand. A shocked groan escaped me as she ran her hands over my throbbing you-know-what. After just a few minutes, I climaxed over her hands. She licked her hands clean. Gently, I kissed her; my tongue explored her mouth as hers explored my mouth.
The next morning, I woke up; Mandy was still sleeping in my arms. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful; I stroked her hair gently and she nuzzled my hand. "I thought you were sleeping," I whispered in her ear, "I guess I thought wrong, huh?"
She giggled, keeping her eyes on mine. She stroked my cheek, then kissed me gently. "Darling, you have work to go to. You're already late."
"Hush, baby," I put a finger on her lips to keep her quiet. "I called work yesterday. I quit work. They wouldn't pay me enough, so I quit. Simple as that. As a way for you to not kill me, I got you a present."
"It had better be good!" she said jokingly, as I reached over her and pulled out a ring box.
"This used to be my grandmother's; my grandfather gave it to her, and then asked her what I'm about to ask you." I opened the box. Inside was a silver ring, with three diamonds. "Will you do my the honor…" I slipped the ring on her third finger on her left hand, "of being my fianc饿" I looked into her eyes; I could read them so well.
With the heavy rock music pumping at full volume from the speakers, it was no surprise the walls were shaking. We had been dancing together for fourteen tracks now, and we only just began to get tired. I had to shout in her ear just for her to barely hear me. "I think we should take a break now." Nodding, she took my hand and walked me away from the dancing crowd, and outside. It was already midnight.
The stars sparkled in the sky. Cliche, but that's romance for you. She stood in front of me, looking into my eyes like I was the only guy in the world. In her high heels, she was the same height as me. She came closer to me, placing her right hand on my left shoulder ever so lightly. I closed my eyes as I felt her lips press gently on mine. "I love you," she whispered.
The car drove past quickly. I heard such loud noises, then felt something warm spread across my chest. Limp and lifeless, she was in my arms, bleeding heavily from the chest. Tears stung my eyes as I slid down the wall, holding her tight against me. Her last words echoed in my mind. "I love you," she had said to me. Those were her last ever words.
I kissed her dying lips on last time, and cried. I did not want to hide it. I could not hide it. She was my beautiful Mandy. I loved her. Her death would not stop me from loving her. My mind called out to her, I love you, and her reply came back, as though she was saying it. Images of her danced through my mind. Memories of the times we spent together, of the words she said to me, everything we had done together.