My tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought of him. I knew Id never be the same. I knew Id never see him again, see his beautfiul face, get the rush from being near him. I knew it would take a lot to get over him. Thats if I did. It was my fault. He was married and hed never acted on anything. Whether hed felt anything for me Id never know. And I couldnt tell anyone how much i was hurting. How I felt, how I felt my heart was ripping apart from the sides and being pulled from my chest.
My world is shattering beneath me. Can anyone save me?
Or do I have to save myself?
And can I do it?
Can I pull myself from my already messed up place in this life?
Lauras thoughts were one sentence by one.
Her dark depression was all consuming. It was bad enough on its own. But now shed fallen for someone she could never even be close to having.
If he walked down the street the world would stop moving. A celebrity turning up out of the blue with star crazed fans flocking to them, an earth quake, a volcano errupting. She would not notice. Because there couldnt be a more perfect being on the earth than him. She needed him. Body. Mind. S.O.U.L.
A dark thought crept up on her and exploded into a voice. 'If you were dead would he care then?' 'Youre an ugly twisted bitch. Slut. WHORE. Wanting a married man.'
Laura shoved her hands over her ears. Like that would do any good.
The voice exploded into her ear canal...ricocheting off the walls and making its way into her mind.
'Laura. LAURA. Lauraaaaaaaaaa. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. You good for nothing loser. You whore. You slut. Youre an ugly fat bitch.'
Laura slid her hands over her stick thin waist and down her slim hips.
'Fucking do it you ugly fat whore. Cut. YOURSEL|F.'
Laura looked towards the glass on the table. Clasping it she smashed it against the wall. Grabbing the sharpest piece she dug it slowly and deeply into her wrist.
Other voices joined.
'YOU WHORE>> YOU FUCKING TWISTED SICK BITCH>>WHY ARE YOU CUTTING? IS IT BECAUSE YOURE WEEEAAKK?>>Kill yourself. In death we become one. All of us.' Her jagged mind was confused and her thoughts blurred.
As the blood ran, she cried. She slashed at her other wrist haphazrdly. She started to feel lightheaded. She tried to reach for her phone.