Goodbye's the saddest word.
She places the candles on the edge of the bathtub, lighting
themfor those she loves. She just can't do it anymore. She
finally broke; her life just wasn't as she hoped. All she ever
wanted was a family who loved her, who wanted her in their lives.
But instead she got a family who has nothing to offer her
anymore; they lost her even before she walked out that door. She
turned the lights off; candles glowing, a symbol of their lives.
Seven candles burning, one will be blown out before the end of
the night; a symbol of death.She grabbed the pill bottles, taking
off the lids she placed them buy the candle, her candle. She
picked up the knife and set it in the same place. She decided
it'd be best to keep her clothes on; wearing short shorts and a
tank top, she let her hair down and climbed into the tub.
Allowing herself to relax, she put on her music. She took one
deep breath before grabbing the knife; she placed it against her
skin and wrote "Set me free". Her arm stung as the water ran over
it, she sucked in the pain allowing it to give her the release
she so desperately needed. Taking the bottle of pills; putting
her lips to the bottle, her mind began displaying pictures;
everyone she cared about and who cared for her in return went
flying through her mind. Out loud she said"I'm sorry, I love you.
Please never forget that." She choked down the first bottle and
without hesitation she took the second one as fast as she could.
Then she leaned over and blew out her candle; it's finally over.
She could feel them kick in; her heart beating fast like an
addict on crack. She started to lose feeling; only thing that was
working was her mind. It was stuck on one image; a beautiful and
intelligent young woman, one who saved her countless of times.
She began to cry, her face was haunting her. Her face was the
last thing she saw before blacking out.
An hour passed by since her sister went into the bathroom; does
she ever stop thinking about herself? I need to go to the
bathroom. Ah fuck it, Imma go anyway; She grabbed the door handle
and to her surprise it wasn't locked. She screamed the moment she
opened the door. There her sister was, in the bathtub still.
Bloody water, empty pill bottles; She began to cry, running for
her phone she dialed 911 in hope they could still save her. She
couldn't image a life without Jade, she was the funniest person
she has ever met. She barely heard the knocking, she allowed the
medics in. Pulling her sister out of the tub she looked so
helpless. They laid her on the stretcher and headed to the door.
Before they put her in she read what was written on her skin.
"Set me free." She didn't understand. In the ambulance she began
trying to figure this all out. Why would she engrave a song onto
her arm? Why would she do this? She seemed like the happiest
person, always making jokes. She had a temper, an attitude you'd
say. The only thing that was in her mind was why? She didn't even
realize she was at the hospital and her sister was already taken
in. She slowly made her way to the doors, once she did the nurse
took her to Jade's room. The doctors are trying to revive her;
they had already pumped her stomach, trying to get all the pills
out. Hoping it wasn't too late. It was too much to handle she ran
out of the Hospital, not stopping.
Come on, open your eyes! Staring down at this beautiful girl, she
looked around seventeen-eighteen. She wouldn't give up! She
couldn't, her family would be so heartbroken. The writing on her
arm broke her heart. "Set me free" what did she want to be free
from? They began reviving her again. Praying to God to help save
her. It must've worked because they got her heart beating again.
"Thank you Lord" she whispered. Something isn't right here, why
isn't she opening her eyes? No, it can't be; the girl went into a
coma. She walked out of the room with tears in her eyes. In all
her years as a doctor she never felt this way about a patient;
she has seen babies pass away and she would never shed a tear.
She would be sad but not heartbroken. She went back to the room
with bandages to wrap up her arm. She asked the other doctors and
nurses to leave the room because they've done all they could.
Before walking out her friend looked at her and said "Don't get
attached. It'll only bring pain." She closed the door behind her.
Little did anyone know she was already attached, has been since
she seen her. She began wrapping up her arm, once finished she
picked up the girl's hand and began whispering. "My dear please
wake up. There are so many people who love you; I don't even know
you or your name but for some reason I can't leave you. You need
to wake up; I know you must've touched so many people's lives. I
know you touched mine." She got up and went to the door, before
leaving she said "I will come back, I promise."
In her office finishing up her work; she just finished the last
paper. She shut down her computer, and started getting ready to
leave. The phone rang as she put on her jacket; she got it just
in time. "Hello". The voice on the other line began talking,
their voice was sympathetic. She thanked the lady and hung up.
Sitting on her chair she began to cry, she just didn't
understand, she knew she was unhappy but she didn't think it was
that bad. She remembered the last time Jade tried taking her
life. She found out through an e-mail, she cried a little bit but
she knew that Jade was okay. She grabbed her car keys, got into
her car and drove to the hospital. She asked the receptionist
where she was, the girl came from behind her counter and led her
through the emergency room. Seeing her lying there helplessly,
she began crying again. Closing the door before approaching the
bed; she sat down in the chair, taking her hand. "My sweet girl,
I don't understand why you did this. But baby girl you have so
much to live for, look at how you touched my life. I need you, I
may not show it but I do. Those days when I am miserable I look
forward to seeing your face at the end of the day, it means so
much to me. I'm not ready for you to leave. Please love just wake
up." She sat there holding her hand until it was time for all
visitors to leave. It was raining outside and usually she would
run to her car. But not today she walked slowly to the car
allowing the raindrops hit her face. She just couldn't believe
it, She wished she pushed her into telling her what was wrong;
she wished Jade would have came to her with her troubles; she
knows she can trust me. She got into her car and started heading
home. Half way there and she had to pull over, she just couldn't
do it. She let it all out; the tears fell like rain in a
thunderstorm. She couldn't stop even if she wanted too. She
prayed to God she'd make it through and come out that coma; she
loved that girl like her own. Her baby girl, she didn't care
about her real parents they don't deserve her; they were cruel
What's going on? Why can't I move my arms or my legs? Why can't I
speak, I wanted to talk to her. I needed to talk to her. Mrs.
Jacobson was the only one she ever truly let in; she knew that
all her secrets would stay safe. I don't know what's happening,
why aren't I dead? It's what I wanted after all. What did I do
wrong? Did I take enough pills? Did I bleed enough? Oh God why
can't you just take me away and set me free. I'm a prisoner in my
own life, nothing can change that. If only they would have opened
their eyes, maybe they could have stopped her. Even though she
hated the fact they never asked she knew it was her fault; she
became distant and quiet, too afraid to talk. She tried so hard
to open up but the words never came out. She figured all she
needed was a break down, you know? Scream, punch, yell and cry.
Thats it, just a chance to let it all out. but her pain became so
silent she ended up taking it out on herself. Now shes in the
hospital, with no movement of her body, a wrapped up arm from the
knife. She did this to herself, know she regrets it. She wished
she was back at home, pretending. At least this way I could still
kill the pain, now im stuck inside my mind. I wonder if my dad
will come? WIll Andrews come back? When will Jacobson return?
Wheres Allison, why hasnt she come yet? I hope she doesnt hate me
for all that ive done, i know ive caused her great pain. Please
God just get me out of here, I hate it here. My life is so fucked
up! Ugh, please just fucking end this shit!!
Shes been seeing that girl in her dreams, haunting her. Maybe she
is trying to tell me something, or does that sound crazy? I wish
I could figure out what was going through that girl's head. She
doesn't seem like an unhappy girl; she is very beautiful and
could do anything she dreamt of. Those words keep replaying in my
head! Set me free, what does it mean? What was she trying to
forget? What happened that made her want to throw it away? I wish
I could understand, when she wakes up I will ask. Closing her
eyes, she saw her. This time it was different; there was another
woman. They were in what looked like an office. The lights were
off but there was christmas lights on and candles burning. The
woman looked like she was about to cry, it was silent. No one
talked for another five minutes than the woman started. "Jade, I
just don't get it, why do you hate her so much? She's your
sister, you cant hate her. There is no such thing as a perfect
family, my sister and I fight but I could never hate her." Jade
sat there not looking at her or saying a word. Another moment of
silence before Jade began to talk. "I guess thats the difference
between you and I. You easily forgive and forget, I dont. What
she did is unforgivable and one day you will truly understand.
But I can not face it right now, I don't want to go through it
all again. One day Jacobson, one day I will tell you." Jade held
tears in her eyes and tried hard to blink them away but at this
point there was no escaping it. Mrs. Jacobson stared at Jade with
sad eyes she so desperately wanted to pull her into her arms but
she knew Jade would pull away. Knowing she was staring Jade
looked away as tears fell. "Babe, don't cry. I'm sorry, please
come here." She opened her arms and Jade ran into them. Tears
falling harder than before she quietly sobbed. Holding in her
arms Mrs. Jacobson felt a little better, she never held her like
this before and it felt right. Like a mother holding her daughter
after a boy broke her heart. But this was more than a boy, more
than a broken heart. But what was it? Slowly tears fell from her
eyes too, she couldn't stand to see her baby girl like this it
was way to heart breaking. In the moment of silence a loud
beeping went off and woke Mrs. Andrews from the horrible dream.
Rolling over she turned off her alarm clock and got into the
shower hoping that the water would take away the scenes of her
dream. She didn't want to go to work today; it would only bring
pain. Getting out of the shower she quickly got dressed and
jumped into her car. She rushed into the Hospital; already late
for her shift, She knew Jess would understand. Jess saw the look
on her face the night they brought Jade in; the pain it brought.
Dr. Andrews signed in and made her way to Jade's room with clean
bandages.Closing the door behind her, she looked at the beautiful
girl who laid there so lifeless. "Hey Jade, its me. Dr. Andrews.
I said I would be back, I had a dream about you last night and
some Mrs. Jacobson, it was one of the saddest things I have ever
witnessed. I wish you'd wake up and make things easier." Dr.
Andrews started cleaning Jades cuts. "Ohh m'dear, these cuts will
become ugly scars; I wish I could erase them but I cant. Jade,
you have people who care for you, so please wake up'' There was a
knock at the door, Jess stood in the doorway. ''Dr.Andrews, there
is a guy who has been beaten up badly and we need a doctor right
away.'' Andrews rose, giving Jade`s forehead a kiss before
leaving. ''It`s a shame isn`t it Jess, a beautiful girl stuck in
her own mind.'' She didnt wait for Jess to reply she walked out
and went to help the man who would in the end make it through. As
she cleaned up the man`s face she kept seeing Jade; She needs me.
Rushing into Jades room, all her moniter`s were freaking out, her
heart rate was going down, dangerously low. Calling for back up,
she began reviving her. Praying to God to keep her alive; her
heart moniter beeped than went back to a normal beat which
allowed Andrews to relax. She didn`t even realize that Jess was
behind her, looking worried. Jess touched her shoulder. ''Rae, Im
worried about you; you`ve been so hung up on this girl you`ve
abandoned other patients. I`ve never seen you get attached to
anyone before, what is it about her that gets to you?'' Rae
looked at Jess and gave her a sad smile. ''Oh Jess, I don`t know;
I`ve been asking myself the same thing over and over again. I
want to treat her like another patient but I can`t. It`s like I
have to fight for her.'' Jess wrapped her arm around Andrews and
guided her out of the room. Taking her down to the Counsellor`s
office. ''Babe, Just talk to her about it. Maybe you can come up
with an answer.'' Jess said before pushing her into the office
and closing the door behind her.
I just dont get it, why would Jade do somethg so stupid? Allison
found out about Jade the night it happened but hasn`t gone to see
her yet because she`s been so furious at her for it. She knew I
needed her, everything was falling apart and she just made it
worse! She grabbed her smokes and went outside; lighting one she
started walking. Trying to figure eveything all out she didnt
even notice she walked all the way the the Hospital. Taking a
deep breathe she went in, asking the recepionist for the room
number. Stopping at the door, she didnt know if she could go
through with ité