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The Demon's That Tempt Me; Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel: Chap. 5

Book By: Nina Simone

Torn between her boyfriend and celebrity friend,take a look into the life of Lourdes. A fun, sexy, party planning chef with a complicated side...

Submitted:Jul 5, 2010    Reads: 401    Comments: 38    Likes: 44   

Chapter 5

"It doesn't sound like you spent much time with him at all." Albear said referring to Alexsander. Lourdes didn't see any point in telling him about Lita...and Pullo...and the gun...
"Well there was never any intention for it to be more than it was on both our parts." She said. "At least, that was how we felt in the beginning. But then he started wanting more, and I didn't think that I did, but-"
"But he said jump and you said how high?"
"If you want to look at it that way."
"There is no other way to look at it. Why did you see him again, if it was only going to be a one time thing?"
Lourdes sighed, remembering her phone call with Gabriel...

"Where are you, when are you coming home?" Lourdes asked Gabe. He had called her three times that day, something he never did when he was out of town.
"I'm stuck at a train station and I have a 2 hour delay." He said. "Look, do you think you can do me a favor?"
"Yeah, what do you need?"
"The last time I talked to Alex, the wanker sounded as if he was shit faced. And I got the feeling that he was two days into being five day drunk. Will you go over to his place and check on him?"
"I don't know Gabe, you know how he gets when he's in one of those moods."
"Yeah, I know, but when I talked to him he wouldn't tell me what the problem was, and then I hear from his brother that he lost a part that could make or break his career. I'm just a little worried about him. I was hoping you could help stop him from spiraling out of control before it gets worst."
"Gabe, I'll try, but I have a busy day too."
"See what you can do love, I promise I'll make it up to you."

Lourdes punched in the number to Alex's gate. She slowly walked up the driveway leading to the house. One of the car's was parked at a strange angle and the trunk was open. The front double doors were slightly open also. Lourdes walked slowly past the doors and tried the knob on the main door. It was unlocked.
She walked into the house. It was slightly messy, torn papers on the floor, a chair was knocked over. She was a little nervous. She couldn't tell if Alexsander had a hard night or if there was a break-in.
"Alexsander?" She called out. She jumped as she heard something crash to the floor far away. She stood there, still for a moment, contemplating what to do. She turned and looked at the front door, wondering if she should leave. When she turned back around, she saw a tall silhouette passing by.
"Alex!" She called running after him.
Alexsander stopped by the atrium and turned to face her. He was a mess. He was wearing dirty white converse shoes, that had mud all over them. One shoe had blue strings and the other had red shoe strings. His shorts were stained with unidentifiable substances and he was shirtless. His hair was all over the place and his eyes were bloodshot.
"Alex, what's going on I thought you had been robbed!"
He turned and walked into the atrium and stopped in front of a chair as if he was going to sit down, but instead plopped down on the ground and leaned his body up against the wall.
Lourdes dropped her stuff and went and sat down next to him.
"Alright then?" He asked with the suttle Swedish accent that he almost never used. He began rubbing his nose clumsily. "Where the fuck have you been, I been calling you tons."
Yeah he was wasted. He also smelled flammable. He almost never talked like a like that, except for when he was too far gone to control himself. And, except for when they were in bed...
"Gabe called me to come and check on you, he was worried."
"Yeah good guy...he is...that Gabe...."
"Alex what's wrong?" She asked.
"You and I are fucking over!" He yelled. "That's what's wrong!"
"Been calling you for days!" He pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it high above his head as if it was some kind of proof. "Calling!" He said, throwing it across the room. It shattered loudly against the wall.
Lourdes looked across the room, sighing. "Alex what was the point in doing that?"
"Why would Gabe need to call you to check on me? Huh?" He asked slurring his words.
"He said you were upset about losing a part."
"Fifteen fucking times they made me audition!" He yelled. "Had it in the bag! And they gave it to some cunt who can't act. And do you know why?!"
"No." She said softly. But she could guess, the part probably went to an American actor.
"Yeah of course you don't know! You don't know anything because you don't talk to me anymore. You're a shitty fucking friend!" He was starting to slur his words again. "And I did intercourse on another girl the other night when you stood me up...a peerrrfect 10, it was very good..."
Lourdes rolled her eyes shaking her head. She tried not to laugh.
"But you don't know that either, because suddenly you're too busy for me!"
"I know, I'm sorry." She rubbed his head and he rested it on her shoulder. "It's just been hard to talk like we use to, when things are so different between us now."
"Because you don't love me anymore. Nobody does. I'm never going to make it." His eyes were closed as if he was starting to fall asleep.
"Oh Alex," she sighed wrapping her arms around him, "you have so many great things in your life. You're surrounded by people who love you very much, you have great friends, a nice life, this is just one part that didn't work out. You've never gotten this down before over losing something."
"This was important to me." He muttered.
"There will be other roles, better roles, and baby," she said taking her arms from around him so she could face him, "you've already made it. The world loves you, the camera loves you and you have tons of adoring fans, it's only a matter of time before you become a superstar, and then I'll be able to say I knew you when."
"Why, where are you going?" He asked confused.
"Nowhere," she said wrapping her arms around him again, "I'm not going anywhere."
Alex reached into his pockets. "I should call me agent, been calling...for days. What the hell did I do with my phone?"
"You just trashed it." She said pointing across the room.
"Right." He said. Alex looked at her with his eyes glazed over. "I should go home," he tried to drag himself up off the floor, "sorry for dropping in on you like this."
"No Alex," Lourdes said jumping up after him as he moved quickly through the house, "you're already home, let's just put you to bed."
"Right." He said again, but he stood in place not sure where to go next.
Lourdes grabbed his hand and guided him to a sofa. He sat down looking drained and tired. She knelt down on the floor and pulled off his muddy shoes and socks. She tossed them to the side as he swung his long legs up on the sofa and stretched out.
"Don't know why you're doing this." He muttered. "Not going to work."
"What's not?" She asked half listening, opening up a throw cover to put on him.
"You taking care of me...not working..."
"Oh Alex," she said sighing again. "Baby, just try and get some sleep, you won't even remember this tomorrow."
"I will," he said, "don't talk to me like that."
"Like what?"
"Not a child..." He muttered, closing his eyes.
"I know baby." She said. She turned, sat still on the floor and leaned her back against the sofa. They were silent for what seemed like forever. She thought that Alex had finally gone to sleep. She got up to leave.
"You don't trust me." He said, with his eyes still closed. "You don't trust me, I don't trust you. Crap friend."
Lourdes sat back down on the floor. Alex reached out from where he was still laying and he cupped his arm around the front of her neck and shoulders. "Convince me...otherwise..." he said.
"It was easy wasn't it?" Lourdes asked. "You and me. What we did. It was much easier than I ever thought it would be."
Alex snorted. "Will that be your excuse if Gabe ever found out?"
Lourdes stifled back a laugh. "No, I'll just tell him that your beauty and the moonlight overthrew me."
"I don't know what he will hate worse."
"Maybe this is our chance," Lourdes paused, "we can stop right now. No one will ever know."
Alex said nothing. She wasn't sure if he was awake or even listening, but with him so intoxicated, this was the best possible time for her to get this off her chest.
"Do you wanna stop?" She asked.
She went silent too. Their emotions were not apart of the deal, and they were braking every rule that they agreed not to brake. She hated feeling this vulnerable. His breathing had slowed, it was probably a good idea to take off now. He still had his arm wrapped around her. She pressed her chin into his muscle and let her lips graze his flesh.
"When we're alone," he said giving her a fright, "when it's just you and I. You make me feel like I'm all that you need. And no other guy."
Lourdes said nothing, she only listened.
"Gabe is always going to keep us at a distance," he went on, "but you keep me persistent. One day your going to have to make a decision."
"I think that is an unrealistic request." Lourdes spoke softly. "I mean, don't you? Given the life you live?"
"What am I to you?" He asked.
"What am I to you?" She asked right back.
"You first." He said.
She said nothing.
"See that's that type of shite that does my head in," he said, "when you shut down like that. What a fuckin' idiot I've been about this."
"Alex-" she tried to stop him before he said something they both weren't prepared to hear.
"You won't even consider the possibility, will you?" He was starting to sound agitated again.
"That wasn't part of the deal."
"Why? Because nobody can measure up to your perfect Gabriel?"
She said nothing.
"I just wanted you to comfort me, when I called you late last night. That's all I wanted. It wasn't about the other...I was crashing hard and I just needed my mate."
Lourdes couldn't face him. He may had needed a friend in the beginning, but it wouldn't have ended up that way.
"I think about all the words you say to me, about life and truth and being free..." he paused, "and the next day it's like you don't know me! But I know how I make you feel and you know how you make me feel. So why do I have to question all this being real?"
"Alex don't-"
"Don't what?" He asked. "Why are you so afraid to confront what's in front of you?"
"Because we're just not there yet. And I don't know if I ever will be."
"You're a liar." He said. "You're just afraid to tell me what I want to hear."
"Maybe that's your problem," she said, "maybe you're too use to girls falling in love with you instantly."
"Yeah," he said, "I don't see it...but I feel it."
"I have to go." She said.
"I just want to know where I stand with you?"
"We'll talk in the clear light of day."
Lourdes stood up to get her stuff.
Alex sat up on the sofa. "I promise you," he said, "next time, you will feel differently."
Lourdes stop. She turned and faced him. God he was beautiful. Beautiful fucked up man. Eyes bloodshot and a mess, and he was still breaking her heart.
"Will you stay," he said, "for just a bit longer?"

"How did you leave it?" Albear asked.
"I stayed until he fell asleep."
"And then?"
"I didn't have the words to express what he wanted me to say. So I picked a song that I thought would say it all for me. And I phrased it in the form of a poem. This way I could tell him how I felt, and he could have some piece of mind."
"I bet it was brutal." Albear said.
"Excruciating." She said.
"So what song?" He asked.
"What Am I To You? Norah Jones." She said.
"How fitting. Tell it to me."
Lourdes reached for her purse and pulled out her first draft letter of the song. She handed it to him. "Read away."
Alby read slowly, when he was done, he looked at Lourdes.
"And the rest was history." Lourdes said. "Somehow we saw each other one way or another, practically everyday." She paused and looked at Albear. "Now you're caught up."
"Shit." Albear said.
"Yeah, shit." She said.
"I bet he didn't expect you to go balls out."
"I didn't expect me to go balls out, it just befitted the situation."
"Cut the shit." He said. "Yes, he may be trying to trick you into confessing true feelings for him, and yes, he may be an arrogant asshole who commands all of your attention-"
"Sounds like somebody else I know." She said smiling.
"But he's an actor. They're all like that!"
"And some big shot lawyers, I might add." Lourdes cracked.
"But you...your trying to make this boy fall in love with you."
"That is not what I'm doing!" She exclaimed.
"Then what the fuck are you doing?"
"I just want us to be on even footing. On the same page. So nobody get's hurt!"
"What fucking fairy tale are you living in? Somebody always gets hurt!"
"Well I'm sure you can give me pointers Albear, being that you've had tons of experience."
"Lourdes, it's an unavoidable situation. Someone always ends up wanting more than the other person can give them, and someone always leaves."
"That's great!" She said. "That's what I want, for all of this to run it's coarse and then we can all go back to normal."
"And you think that when it's all said and done, that you will be able to walk away Scott free?"
"You bet your sweet ass I do." She said. "Just watch me."


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