The Misadventures of Fucks Funny and Gassy Duck
It was a warm summer day and Fucks Funny was just heading home from spending the night with a female bunny. On the way, he met up with his friend Gassy Duck. "Hey Fucks. What are you doing out walking this morning?" Gassy asked, burping his way toward his friend. Fucks sighed and replied," Hey Gassy. I am just on my way home from a cute bunny's house. I stayed the night there."
Gassy grinned at his friend and nudged him as he let a silent fart loose. Fucks wriggled his nose and said nasally," Damn, Gassy. Couldn't you give me a warning that you were going to let one rip? You barely gave me time to cover my nose." Gassy shrugged his shoulders which made his feathers slightly ruffled and replied apologetically," Sorry, Fucks. I never know when it is going to happen. So how did it go at the hot bunny's house? Did you have fun?"
Fucks let his ears droop and he sat down on the side of the road. "I thought it was going well until it came time for us to head into the bedroom. We were laying on the bed and when I started, she ended up laughing and couldn't stop. I asked her what was so funny about making love and she laughed so hard, she was crying. When I got up this morning, she left me a note saying that last night's comedy act was fun, but she doesn't want to do it again."
Gassy nodded sympathetically and patted his friend's arm with his wing. "I understand buddy. I have been there too. Not with the girl laughing, but with her rushing into the bathroom to throw up." Fucks nodded as well and moved over so Gassy could sit down. They sat in silence for a moment and out of nowhere, Gassy let another fart loose. This one smelled so bad, the grass turned brown. "Uhoh.." Gassy said, alarmed and embarrassed. Fucks jumped up real fast and took a giant leap to the other side of the road, holding his nose.
Fucks looked at his friend, confused for a moment. "What's wrong, Gassy? Your fart turned the grass brown." Gassy seemed quite flustered as he replied in a shaky voice,"That isn't brown grass, Fucks. I had an accident when I let one loose that time." Fucks covered his mouth as the smell hit him full force and he gagged for air. "Man Gassy! What did you eat? Twigs and seaweed?" Gassy looked thoughtful and said,"Actually, that was my breakfast. I am hungry now."
Fucks shook his head violently, trying to clear the smell out of his nose and mouth. Gassy covers the accident with dirt and heads down the road, walking slowly so Fucks could catch up to him. When Fucks walked up to his house, he saw that the front door was open and turned to Gassy. "Gassy, did you come to my house earlier and leave my door open?" he asks his friend. Gassy shook his head and said,"I would remember to close the door if I had, Fucks. Maybe you have a visitor. I am going to go home and take a bath. I will see you later." With that, he turns and walks away as Fucks walked into his house.
First, Fucks looked around the living room. No one sitting down in there. He headed to the kitchen. No one there either. He heard soft laughter and walked down the dirt hallway to his bedroom. As he eased the door open, he heard the laughter a little better and opened it all the way. To his surprise, he saw a female bunny sitting on his bed, as comfortable as you please.
She looked up as he entered and smiled at him. "Hey there, Fucks. I hope you don't mind my being here. I heard about you and wanted to see if the rumors were true," she explained to him. He smiles at her and closed the door behind him. Walking over, he fussed over his ears, making sure there were no stray hairs standing out of place.
As she reached up to him, Fucks jumped onto the bed and landed on top of her. As they started to go at it, she started to laugh. Oh no, not again! He thought to himself. She laughed so hard, she ended up making a puddle on the bed when they were finished. "I guess the rumors were true. Thank you for such a wonderful and comedic time, Fucks Funny," she said, her eyes shining brightly with tears from laughing so much.
She got up and headed to the door as he sat up and stared at her. "Can I see you again?" Fucks asked, hoping she would say yes. She turned to him and replied tartly," I would love to do this more often with you. You are definitely a lot of fun." With that, she walks out and leaves the house. Fucks grinned and realized that he found the right bunny for himself. He ran to the phone and called Gassy up.
Answering on the first ring, Gassy answered with a loud belch. "Buuuuuuuuurrrrrrrppppp! Hello?" he said. Fucks cleared his throat to keep from laughing and replied,"Hey, Gassy. It's me. I just had the most amazing time with this bunny. She actually wants to see me again!" Gassy chuckled, happy for his friend. He let out another belch and said,"I am happy for you, Fucks. I will call you later. I have a female visitor here and she is worse than me! I think I finally met my match." Fucks laughed as Gassy hung up. He was so happy, he almost forgot to change his sheets. After doing so, he headed to the kitchen to get something to eat. As he was hunting down a small piece of carrot cake, the girl bunny walked in and sashayed over to him.
She moved in with him that same day and Gassy's girl moved in with him that night. Gassy and his new love belched and passed gas all day and night, happy to be in each other's arms. Of course, they also had to wear clothes pins on their beaks to keep the smell of their raucous gas from making them sick to their stomach. Fucks and his love had a wonderful time making love and laughing all their days together.