Have you ever told somebody to eat shit? Next time, think twice before you say it. Somebody just might. Don't believe me? You might be in for a surprise or two.
Welcome to pica therapy! Where people with all kinds of eating disorders meet to hopefully one day overcome their disorder. And if not, at least meet and hang out with people like them.
Take a look at all these fags. No, not fag with an 'f', fag with a 'ph'. You know, from the Greek root "phage", meaning to devour or consume. I guess it's our little pun on the word "fag" and term of endearment for one another. Phags. Funny right? All of the types of pica we suffer from have "phag" in it. Like, hyalophagia; glass consuming. And then you got me, coprophagia; feces devouring.
I know what you're thinking. I must have some bad breath. But, it's better than a guy with coprolalia. Or, shit TALKING. Anyway, let me introduce you to a few of the phags really quick.
There's our group leader, Greg. Greg had pica as a child, when it is actually more common, but typically more dangerous. His parents had to watch him constantly, because he would often try to eat painted plaster. Which contains lead. Which can lead to lead poisoning. Which can lead to brain damage. But at puberty, Greg grew out of his eating disorder and now lives a normal life; trying to help us stop eating other inedibles.
I guess Greg is your average 30-something year old. Fairly handsome, starting to bald right in the center of his head, six foot nothing, nearly 200 pound something, blue jean and white polo wearing kind of guy. Oh yeah, he just got braces. We're all pretty proud of him. His teeth, not unlike most of ours, were pretty fucked up from eating any random thing he could fit those choppers around. He's still getting used to his braces, so his "s's" sound a smidge silly.
We always sit in a circle, yeah pretty stereotypical help group, and we all have our usual seats. To Greg's right is Trevor. Trevor used to be the pretty lame one in the group, but ever since Anne Rice and Stephanie Meyer and this whole vampire resurgence in people, he's one of the cool ones now. See, Trevor suffers from the pica disorder called vampirism. Yep, you guessed it, he likes to ingest blood. Trevor's disorder is serious, but lately we've been having a bunch of wannabes trying to get help for their blood addiction. Usually these people are a bunch of morons who want to be vampires. I mean, how lame is that, at least strive for something cooler, like werewolves. Just wait, I'm writing my own novel that's going to put werewolves back on the map the same way vampires are right now.
Anyway, back to the asshole Trevor. He's a kiss-ass, a suck-up…get it? Suck-up. We give him shit all the time for stuff like that. Not the same way they give me shit, but that's a different story. Trevor's pretty normal too, for a guy who has a hard on for drinking blood. He's got a kind of blond, European spiky hair thing going on. He's got real healthy looking skin, no surprise there from the blood drinking. His sharp roman nose helps him stand out in a crowd, or on bar nights, when he's usually one of the few of us to pick up a girl.
Unfortunately, long-term relationships for Trevor are nearly impossible. In fact, second dates are just about unheard of for this guy. Yep, you guessed it, he likes to ingest blood. He'll usually bite pretty deep on a girl and start trying to suck out her blood, or he occasionally keeps a small blade with him, and when things are getting intimate with a chick, he cuts the woman and proceeds to suck that blood up. I guess it really gets him going. Sexually, of course, or at least that's what he tells us. We have seen him leave with women before, so we all take his word for it.
One night Trevor says he was eating this girl out, his face buried between her thighs. I mean chin deep in her pussy. He says she was clean-shaven.
"As smooth as a balloon," he said. "Problem is, her muff smells like spoiled milk." He tells us it wasn't too bad though. He'd do anything for his blood fix.
He's not gonna bite her down there, but he has his blade and is gonna just cut her thigh a little so he can get his blood that way.
Turns out he didn't even have to use the knife. The girl had been turning down his advances all night, saying she didn't feel good. Trevor wouldn't be denied. He told her he'd go down on her. And that's all she wrote. Trevor tells us that's all you gotta tell a girl, and if you do what you say, she'll repay you eventually.
But back to the moment. So Trevor's tongue explores around this chick's meat wallet. His tongue rubbing and grinding through every groove. In and out of the creases of her thighs. The saliva from his tongue, now on her leg providing nice, smooth traction from one facet of her anatomy to the other.
The chick starts to get into it. Apparently Trevor's pretty good at cunnilungus. He's told us, he's got the girl to cum every time. If you actually believe in female orgasms of course. She starts moaning and groaning from the pleasure. Trevor starts to get a bit worked up too. He's totally enjoying this. He starts to dig his nose into her clitoris. Her enjoyment only increases his. Trevor goes rabid dog on her. Slobbering on her thighs and around her labia, and then spreading the slobber around on her with his tongue and nose.
Trevor's getting into this more than he should though. He's never gotten going this hard just from oral alone. But, he's swarming her like a shark now. That's when he realizes, he tastes blood in the water. Literally. With his face buried in this girl's pink canoe, Trevor picks up the taste of blood. The blood seeps out of her sideways sloppy joe and down to her perineum. Trevor drags his tongue down across the fleshy and loose skin that's lubed up from his slobber.
The second the blood hits Trevor's tongue, he's in a-whole-nother gear. He's unconscious, unthinking, just relishing in the blood.
But the blood's coming out heavily now. A little too heavily. He's licking his face, licking her, licking his face; back and forth. He's coating his face with her maroon, almost brown blood. The brown blood stains and dries on his cheeks and on her thighs.
He pulls his face up every once in awhile for a deep breath, before heading back down into the deep. Another mouthful of blood. Another breath. On his exhalations, blood cascades over the edge of his lips and down his chin.
The blood isn't leaking as heavily now, so Trevor has to work even harder, to this chick's benefit. She grasps her hands around the white sheets. This girl pulling and clutching as hard as she can, while Trevor pokes and prods at her snatch as hard as he can. Licking clean any small blotch of blood. The girl has finally had enough. The pleasure is too much; she climaxes and orgasms.
With Trevor's mouth around her cunt, she cums. Trevor's throat is filled all the way to the back with saliva, blood, and female ejaculate. Yep, you guessed it…period blood. And now, Trevor's guessed it too. He resurfaces from the ocean of fluids. He snaps out of his bloodlust and realizes what's going on. It'd be enough to make anybody sick, let alone someone who has been drinking tonight.
So, he does what any drunk, disgusted guy could do. He vomits. Right on top of her mons pubis. I mean what do you say to a chick whose crotch is caked with blood, ejaculate, saliva, and vomit all while your mouth is filled with those same things?
Exactly. And then, right before he leaves, she just…shits. Right on the bed. Okay, okay, that's not true. I threw that in there because the story had every kind of human excrement except for feces. It just kind of makes the ends the perfect circle in a way. Plus, I just can't get enough shit!
So, that's the story Trevor told us once. I mean, if you believe it of course. Who would tell a story like that if it weren't true ya know? I've actually got a few other really good stories from some of the guys here. Like that guy over the-. Oh man, look at the time! It's about time for us to break up for the week. I'll have to tell you about them some other time. You'll come back next week right? By the way, what is it you like to eat?