The things you forget while immersing yourself in another often tend to seep back into your consciousness after a couple of minutes or sometimes hours. For our two lovers, it took no more than ten minutes. The most apparent cause for this rather short period of bliss was the amount of thinking the two men did silently while lying in each other's embrace. Raul was struck by an unpleasant feeling of guilt. He shouldn't have taken advantage of a troubled teenager, however gorgeous that teenager was. Benjamin on the other hand, didn't think so much about his current situation, rather what this meant for his future.
What have I done, what the fuck have I done? Raul thought to himself. Benjamin was lying in his arms, soft to his touch and still sweaty from their lovemaking. Or no, not lovemaking, this couldn't be love. Feelings of sinful guilt mingled with unreasonable lust and regret that he would never be together with Benjamin like this again. He couldn't.
Benjamin was not even nineteen, and although Raul wasn't that many years older it still felt wrong… Also, they had been thrown together by the whims of his father, whom would freak out if he ever found out what their "talking" had amounted to. They had ended up fucking each other after barely exchanging more than a few sentences.
Benjamin moved around in his arms, making small hushed sounds in his relaxed state. Raul caressed him softly across his back before he realized what he was doing, he shouldn't be doing this. He stopped his hands in that same instant as his thoughts took over. Benjamin looked up in response to his sudden retreat and the young man's eyes turned from glazed to raging in mere seconds.
"You're regretting this already, thanks man." Benjamin's angry words cut into him. No I don't. He responded with his thoughts, but he couldn't voice the words. What could he say? Benjamin struggled out of his hold. "I should have known you were an idiot." Benjamin spat out his words like venom. Raul felt himself shrink back. Who was this young man, where did all that anger come from?
"I'm an idiot because I feel like shit for using you?" he answered back as his temper flared. "Using me? You think you're using me? Like I said, you're an idiot! Go fuck someone else, I don't care." Benjamin was almost shouting now.
Raul hated the words, they stabbed him all over, puncturing his heart although they shouldn't. Then he looked into Benjamin's eyes and recoiled. They were a torrent of hurt, of emotion and confusion that he couldn't hide behind that black anger any longer. The young man was right, he was an idiot. He had just helped to open this man's Pandora's box, and then he considered to abandon him right there and then? Who but a heartless bastard would do such a thing?
Raul threw himself out of the bed to close in on Benjamin that had begun to collect his strewn clothes. Benjamin turned around just as Raul caught him in his arms. "Shit, I'm so sorry Ben. You're right, I'm an idiot." He felt Benjamin soften slightly in his arms, and then he felt a pair of arms fold around his own back. Thank God! Raul forgot about all conflicting thoughts and emotions right there and then. Benjamin needed him, and he wasn't going to let his mind be clouded by what others might or might not think of them. He should be old enough to know better…
"Don't" Benjamin's single pleading syllable said so much more than his former anger. "I won't" he answered. He wouldn't. He felt Benjamin lean in closer to his body. This was not sexual, this was comfort. He put a soft kiss on Benjamin's dark waves, holding his hand at the nape of his neck. How had he come to care so quickly for someone he had just met? He did, he did care. There was something about Benjamin that called out to him, called him in.
Benjamin let himself relax a little. His insides had cramped when he felt Raul's hands escape his body, as if he had been burned by Benjamin's skin. Now he was standing in Raul's arms again, and he let himself imagine that he was safe, that things would be alright. He didn't want to think about what this meant, what it would mean the second they left this room, this bubble.
Raul traced kisses along his throat, leaving small burning embers in its tracks. He felt his erection quicken, his first taste of sex with someone he desired for real had just left him longing for more. He felt himself take over, he would show Raul who he was, who he could be. He would show Raul that it didn't matter that he was younger. He had finally let himself out of his cage, and now he would take full advantage.
He grabbed tufts of Raul's soft hair to press them both into another kiss. This time he controlled it. He let his tongue dance back and forth, licking and devouring the man's soft lips. He pressed himself even closer to Raul's naked body and felt that beautiful cock increase in size against his own, and it felt so right, so fucking right. He felt Raul struggle to get back in control, but he wouldn't let him. Instead he pushed the older guy down, down on his knees.
Raul looked up at him with a hint of surprise hidden in his heated stare, but just a hint which was instantly consumed by pure lust. He felt Raul take a firm hold of his cock, and then a pair of lips molded themselves over his sensitive tip. The sensation hit him like a summer breeze, hot and moist. "Fuck, you're so damn sexy when you're on your knees." Raul moaned at his words, which reverberated around and inside his unyielding erection. Then Raul began to suck him hungrily, pulling more and more of his length inside. The visual overload of seeing his cock disappear inside the other man's mouth produced yet another "Oh, God!" His fingers got entangled in Raul's hair, stroking and then pulling - determining the pace. "Your mouth is so fucking hot!" His words came out in a strangled voice as his body became more and more tense with every sweet suction.
He felt himself approaching the edge, but stopped himself this time by pulling out and lowering himself down towards Raul's level. They kissed again, ravaging each other's sore lips. He found Raul's cock with his hand and began to stroke it softly, and then with increasing pressure. The response he got was a loud groan against his lips. Then Raul growled "Fuck me Benjamin! Fuck all that anger away."
The words rang in Benjamin's ears for a brief second before he acted. He shoved Raul down on the floor and laid himself on top, kissing the man's neck and shoulders. He closed his fingers around Raul's, fixing them together in an act to hold on to the other man, hold on to everything, anything. His cock found the crevice between Raul's cheeks and they began to move in unison. Lost in pleasure Benjamin bit down on the man's muscled shoulder which made Raul squeeze his fingers tighter. "Quit stalling man, let me feel your cock inside me." Raul's exclamation brought on another rush of red heat, leaving no other choice than to let his hands free to roam the man's body and guide his own cock to the man's entrance. Still a bit slick from Raul's oral attentions he pushed himself inside inch by inch. Damn, this was it. Entering slowly he could feel the man's muscles pull him further inside. It sent his body into another overload and his mind now solely focused on the sensation their union produced. The pulsing around his cock almost made him lose it there and then, but he held it off- determined to let this last. When he was fully consumed by Raul's tight heat the man let out another deep groan.
"You want me to fuck you Raul? You'll have to beg for it." Benjamin heard himself say in a throaty whisper against the man's neck before he began to kiss and bite softly once more. The man just squirmed beneath him, making incoherent sounds. He pushed again although he was as deep inside as he would ever be. "Fuck Ben. Fuck me, please…" Benjamin smiled smugly and began to retreat just as slowly as he had entered.
"Tell me you want me!" Raul heard Benjamin's words breathed against him although they seemed to come from a distance. He had never been this turned on, ever. He could barely hold himself together. The tortuously slow pace was killing him. He needed this young man, needed him as Benjamin needed him. Tell me you want me! Oh yes, he did. He had never wanted anyone more. "Yes, yes I want you Benjamin. I want you to fuck me. Fuck me hard!" He almost shouted, and the young man did. He began to pound himself against Raul's helpless body, taking him to heights he never had explored before. He had never submitted like this, and doing so to this younger man just didn't seem possible - but it was.
"Fuck Ben, you're going to make me cum so hard…" The words came in stutters in between Benjamin's forceful thrusts. "I won't let you leave me" Benjamin answered and Raul believed him. "I won't." He said and felt Benjamin cum inside of him, throwing him over the edge into a wild orgasm.
When he finally landed he heard himself say it again. "I won't. I won't Ben."
Benjamin woke up hours later, still on the floor. They had passed out cold after their second session, bodies worn out.
Raul was lying next to him and he traced the man's body with his eyes. What they had done together was… it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Having secretly harbored his desire for men these last five years had taken its toll. He had never let anyone get close enough to find out. Not even his sister knew, or perhaps she did. Now he was home, he would never go back to having insubstantial sex with a girl. That had never been enough, never been like this.
He couldn't hold back, he kissed the sleeping man softly and felt Raul stir. "Let's get into the bed, this floor is killing me." He whispered and he felt Raul nod, still half asleep. He rose and pulled the other man up, leading them to the bed. They collapsed together once the comforter had been pulled away. Benjamin brought it up over them again and snuggled closer to Raul's body. He felt arms pull him in closer and received a soft kiss before they both dozed off again.
Benjamin's phone started to shriek out its signal. Waking up with a start he answered reflexively. "Yeah?" "Ben, where are you? I didn't think you would stay over anywhere… I became sick with worry when I realized you hadn't been sleeping in your bed tonight." "Mom?! Oh, I'm sorry. I dozed off before I could call you." "Well, you're alive at least. Don't pull that stunt on me again though, I think you would like to see me live for another couple of years…" "Yeah, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." He heard his mom relax, her voice losing some of its anxiety. "Where have you been?" Benjamin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't know what to say, he could easily lie - but what good would it do. He had been honest to himself for the first time in ages, and it felt so completely wrong to start lying again.
"Mom, I've met someone. I'm at his place."
His words were met with silence. He could barely hear her breathe on the other end, the only sign that she was still there. After another few seconds she continued. "I love you Ben. Thank you for telling me. You're so brave. You know that don't you?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Mom?" "I think I've known for a while Benjamin, but I'm so happy you've finally admitted it and have let someone in. I'm so happy for you!" Now he was the one who stayed silent. He felt Raul's touch upon his chest, stroking him. He turned his head to look into the comforting eyes of his lover. He found his words again, trusting his mother to be honest in her intentions. "Yeah, I'm happy too." Raul kissed him softly on forehead when he had finally said it out loud. "Introduce him when you're ready Ben, but now please don't be late for school. I've received too many phone calls from that place already." It was strangely comforting to hear her motherly banter. "Sure, I'll see you tonight. Love you mom." "Love you to."
"She's right, you are brave." Raul mumbled and smiled warmly. Still lying in the other man's embrace he cuddled closer again hiding his face in Raul's throat, breathing in his warm and comforting scent. "I'll drive you to school. You want to borrow some clothes?" "Yeah, that would be great. But I won't leave until you've told me to come back again." He felt Raul tighten his hold. "I won't let you leave before you've told me that you'll come back." Benjamin smiled and lifted his head to gaze into Raul's eyes. "We have a deal then." Raul chuckled in response and began to kiss him lovingly. It was such a different kiss from the ones they had shared in passion, this one held a promise.
"Benjamin, you are to report to the Principal's office after this lecture." What?! What had he done now? He stared defiantly at his teacher, but soon dropped it. He wasn't really capable of holding a grudge right now. Thinking of this during the rest of the lecture made it insufferably long, and he was barely capable of listening.
When it finally ended he dragged his feet across the corridors, not wanting to meet Raul's father. It would be really awkward and uncomfortable. He couldn't not go though. He picked at his phone and saw a new message from Raul. He smiled as warmth began to flow inside of him. #Don't worry. See you tonight!# He wondered about the Don't worry, but became less worried all the same. He steeled himself and knocked on the office door. "Come in!"
He sat down silently in the chair in front of the Principal's desk, actually nervous for the first time in this room. "Raul told me." Benjamin wanted to sink through the floor at his unexpected words. This was the worst thing that could have happened. Why had Raul told him? His mouth went extremely dry, and he couldn't answer. "Benjamin, I love my son but this…well I don't know what to say. I feel it is my responsibility since I was the one who wanted you to meet. Please tell me that you're okay. I can tell him to leave you alone." Benjamin just stared at the man before him, what was he saying?
His silence must have made the man draw his own conclusions. "Alright, you don't have to say anything. I'll call him as soon as you're ready to leave." He tried to find his voice, but he was too shocked. What?! Finally his brain picked up again. "No, don't! I'm sorry, but…but I think I'm falling in love with him. Please…" Raul's father seemed to lose his train of thoughts, he looked absolutely confused. Then he sat down more firmly in his seat. "You're sure about this?" The words were spoken softly and hesitantly which gave Benjamin more confidence. "Yes. Yes I'm sure!"
"Then I know nothing of this until you graduate. But if you keep on with your former attitude in school I will know who to tell." The man smiled when he said this and Benjamin felt himself grow a couple of inches in his seat. He smiled back. "Thank you!" Raul's father nodded in response and released him from their meeting by gesturing at the door.
When Benjamin entered the sunshine outside a couple of hours later he saw Raul sitting on a bench underneath one of the large oaks that was scattered around the school. His insides ignited instantly and a grin spread across his face. Raul looked up and met his eyes. Even at this distance he could see them glisten mischievously. "You could have warned me!" He said when they met. Raul only smiled and tugged him in, kissing him in broad daylight, right in front of the school while others were pouring outside after their last lecture. "I didn't want you to have to keep more secrets." Benjamin answered with giving him another kiss, not caring if anyone, or everyone saw them.
"Now let's go home to my place. I've wanted you back in my bed all day!" Benjamin felt desire rush inside his every fiber and fill him with sweet anticipation. "Yes, I've missed you too. Missed you inside of me…"Raul only chuckled and placed a sweet kiss on his mouth. "My dad said that you'd told him you were falling in love with me." Benjamin looked up, strangely nervous until he saw the absolutely gorgeous expression on Raul's face. "Yes, I believe I am." "Good, then it's not only me." Raul murmured as he began to drag Benjamin towards the car.