Chapter 12: Unable to breathe
"So what is she called again?" I asked Alee. My Latino friend.
We were in human form walking through the woods.
I had on clothes and so did she.
"You have an intense attraction to her when your wolf comes out. She's called your infatuate mate."
"But I don't want to have an intense attraction to her."
"You're in love with her though aren't you?"
I nodded. No point in hiding it.
"Yeah, but every time I see her, I go crazy…literally. I raped her."
"She's probably forgotten by now."
"Or she hasn't. I have to go apologize to her."
"That's just going to make you go crazy. The fact that you mated with her, you're able to detect where she is at all times."
"Fucked her." Alee said.
"But I didn't fuck her." I said.
"Fuck, rape…whatever." Alee rolled her eyes.
"I have to go."
"I should go to keep you in line."
"I'm fine though." I said.
She gave me a look.
I assured her with a smile.
I walked out through the woods and found myself quite comfortable in the environment.
I found myself running though, just because I felt comfortable with it.
Things have been weird since I transformed but things has also became fascinating.
The way things are. My vision, my hearing, the taste. Everything is different.
And the intensity in my hormones are out of control. And I know it's the hormones. Not because Leena is my infatuate mate or whatever Alee called it.
I walked out into the street after finding my way out of the woods.
I knew Leena's house was only a couple of blocks away and I decided to sprint there.
I just hope my ass don't get out of control like always when I'm around her.
Upon arrival, I went into her yard and knocked on the door.
No one answered. Yet I saw her car in the driveway so I knew that she was home.
"Leena." I called.
I banged onto her door until there was a hole through it.
"Leena!" I yelled.
The door forced open and there was a red eyed, sloppy haired Leena in the doorframe. "What?" She asked in between clenched teeth.
Jesus, she's looked a lot better.
"For one, you keep stalking and assaulting me, plus you raped me. For two, my brother died, and for three, my relationship is over." She was about to slam the door but I stopped it.
She walked away not caring and I walked into the house with her and then shut the door.
She turned only slightly and wiped her eyes.
"What happened to Nick?" I asked.
"This vampire that was after me killed him. And its my fault. And I hate myself and it should have been me. The only reason I didn't die is because I was with Christian."
"Was?" I asked. Hope sparked and I wish it hadn't.
She nodded and slid the ring off her finger and placed it on a desk I the corner. "This is going back to him."
I raised my eyebrows. Damn, she's serious. He'll be pissed but who gives a fuck? I sure as hell don't.
"Damn, I thought you two were all over getting married."
"We're not compatible. When I'm with him, people I love gets hurt. When he tries to protect me, people get hurt. I can't have that. So…." She shrugged and ran her fingers through her brunette dead hair.
"Sorry about Nick."
"Having a funeral?"
"Had it. He's buried in my back yard."
What the hell?
She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Christian's idea."
I rolled my eyes. Of course.
She wiped her eyes and sighed. "So you…"
"I wanted to apologize for doing what I did and scaring you off. It wasn't me, I swear."
She nodded. "I know."
"Uh…and also, you're my…infatuate mate."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Your what?"
"I mated with you so I always know where you are. I guess you're supposed to be like…my future or something."
"Mated with me?"
"Well I raped you but any sexual contact between a wolf and another person, binds them together."
"So we're like…supposed to be together?"
"Something like that."
"Uh…no. I have way too much shit to worry about."
For some reason, her response made me angry. I balled my fist up and could feel the tinted red come in my vision.
I blinked twice and shook my head and the clearness came back.
I didn't want her throwing me out.
"So…you have everything under control?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I even have the creepy eyes under control and my anger." I think.
A wolf's eyes are bright red when he first transforms. But later on, they become white.
I licked my lips as I stared at her. I just wanted to attack her.
Distraction. I need a distraction.
"Can I say some words to Nick?" I asked.
She looked at me and nodded.
I followed her out of the room and through the back door.
She led me to the backyard and stopped.
I looked down just seeing grass. "Where is he?" I asked.
She shrugged. "They disguised the hole good."
I watched him. Some part of me was beyond glad he was here.
And that he wanted to say words to Nick although Nick hated him for what he did to me.
Aiden sighed. "Nick, uh….we didn't know each other for real but…I guess you were a cool guy.
We watched two games with each other and you kept my secret of being a werewolf although you didn't believe for real. Uh…you were really protective of Leena and I," He shrugged and paused. "I wish I had a brother that was that way."
I wanted to cry but at the same time, as I stared into Aiden's blue eyes….something else awakened inside of me.
A feeling I didn't expect.
"Anyway, you were a pretty cool dude….nice hair….um," He shrugged. "Rest in peace." He said and then looked to me.
I stared back at him biting down on my lip and he had a look of lust in his eyes.
I swallowed and walked away and went back into the house.
I could hear Aiden behind me.
What was this feeling? I don't understand.
Aiden forced me to turn around and forced his lips against mine as he aggressively pushed me against a wall.
I gasped in surprise and tried pushing him away. But I couldn't, he was way too strong.
"Don't fight me." He breathed.
I was breathing hard as I looked at him.
He stared back at me.
"Don't." I whispered.
He didn't listen, instead, he placed his lips on mine again and I didn't fight this time because for some reason, all I could think about was this.
Maybe I was doing this to distract myself from the inevitable.
Aiden's lips traveled to my neck. To the same place Christian bites whenever I'm close to an orgasm and for some reason, Aiden kissing me there had me wanting to melt.
I think he felt this. He had his body against mine. Still caressing me with his lips but I knew he wanted to do more.
Way more and I wasn't stopping him because maybe I've wanted this since the beginning.
I whispered his name and he stopped to look at me.
While looking into his eyes, I unbuttoned his pants.
He was straining against them. I can see and feel it.
"I've wanted this the whole time." He whispered.
I nodded. I knew he did.
His fingers caressed down my body. Down my breasts, my stomach, to my thighs and he bent to kiss me again.
I let my hands crawl up and under his shirt to feel him.
He was still a hot temperature but not like that other night.
He felt good beneath my fingers and I let my fingers clutch and explore his soft, dark hair.
I was in full lust mode and I know I'd regret it. I was doing it for my selfish happiness. I won't lie about it and Christian will be aware once he comes here to pick up the engagement ring.
Aiden stopped kissing me and grabbed my hand.
I knew he wanted to go upstairs and I nodded.
He led me upstairs and I showed him in the guest room.
He pulled me in there with him and shut the door.
I pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor and left kisses on his chest.
His breathing was hard.
It was hard and rough.
Just like I wanted him to be.
I let my emotions pour out.
Every ounce of lust in me just so I wouldn't have to think about that scene where Svetlana pulled Nick's heart out of his body. And fucking smiled about it.
I shut my eyes and felt him pulling my bed pants down.
I stepped out of them and pulled my shirt over my body.
Aiden picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him and continued kissing his soft and warm lips.
He sat me down on the bed and made me lay back as he took my panties off.
I bit my lip, that scene of that night he raped me filled my brain but I pushed it away.
He pulled his pants and boxers down and climbed onto the bed with me.
I laid back as he climbed on top of me between my legs. We were both quiet accept for our breathing.
My fingers went to his shoulders, his neck, through his hair and then to his back.
He entered me and I threw my head back against the pillow as he filled me with one sharp thrust.
A moan escaped my lips and Aiden closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.
"You okay?" I breathed.
He nodded. "You just feel….really really good." He whispered and then opened his eyes to look at me.
He felt good too.
Aiden raised himself up and started rocking with me back and forth.
And although, this felt unbelievable, I knew that it was no connection like the one I had with Christian.
But that didn't mean I wasn't enjoying this….so much.
I panted hard into Aiden's neck as he moved hard and fast.
My nails dug into his back as I moaned and shut my eyes.
Aiden was panting hard with me and kissing my neck and then my lips over and over again.
I didn't want him to stop no matter how much I knew this will hurt Christian, I didn't want this to end. Ever.
It was an escape.
Not from supernaturals. But from the things that are being removed in my life.
Aiden got me close to my orgasm within seconds and I felt it ball up deep inside me.
And I exploded and cried out as his member became coated with my juices.
Aiden thrusted hard. "Leena! Fuck!" He groaned and started to slow down.
And soon, he stilled as I felt him cum inside of me.
At the moment, when we both released, we just stared at each other. Saying nothing.
Aiden rested his head against mine and then sighed.
He stayed inside of me, not moving.
So I just held him.
I don't know if we fell asleep or what happened but I opened my eyes and I was cuddled in his arms.
I don't know if I did it myself or he made me do it.
I looked at him. His eyes were closed and he was sleeping peacefully with quiet snores.
Oh damn….the guilt. Not regret. But the guilt.
It's here and its angry.
I don't know what to do. If I get out of bed, where to go.
Why did I have sex with Aiden again?
Oh…a distraction…but surely, planting a garden or watching TV could have been distraction enough.
But I went to the maximum.
I didn't cheat because I made Christian aware of how I felt about us.
So what to call it? Being a slut?
Seems pretty damn close.
I watched him, our faces too close but I didn't move.
How did I feel about him?
I didn't know. I still felt numb and maybe thought this would bring some feeling back but it brought back nothing.
I felt lustful and sadness, and anger but not love or passion for neither him or Christian.
What was happening to me?
Was Nick's death really that traumatizing?
I slightly moved and got out of his arms.
I got out of bed and grabbed my towel.
I got in the shower and washed myself off and washed my hair and my face to get the dead look out of my eyes.
When I got out of the shower, I went down the hall to get some clothes out of my bedroom and when I went in, everything seemed back in order.
Bed fixed, window fixed.
Cracks in the walls, fixed. What the hell?
Enough with the damn weirdness.
I walked to my dresser and threw my towel on the bed after drying myself off.
I grabbed a pair of panties and a pair of shorts and a plain black t shirt.
I decided to let my hair air dry.
I didn't really care anymore.
I walked by the guest room and went downstairs and made me a bowl of cereal.
I haven't really ate since Nick died so I brought the whole box with me as I sat in the living room and watched some movie that was supposed to be scary.
'Silent Hill' I think was the name.
Through a part when this girl was reunited with her mother, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
I braced myself.
I slowly looked to Aiden as he came downstairs with his clothes back on.
He didn't seem to feel awkward and oddly, neither did I.
I gave him a small smile. "Hi."
He smiled back. "Hey." He grabbed the cereal box and sat next to me on the couch.
I watched him as he started eating some from the box.
"Nick use to do that." I said.
Aiden stopped and sighed. "Sorry."
"Its okay." I said nodding.
He smiled lightly and looked at the TV. "Had to get a new one, huh?"
"It was another in the basement….so." I shrugged.
Aiden sighed and then put the cereal down. "We should talk."
I nodded and put my bowl down. "I know."
He licked his lips. "I know you're going to tell him. I just don't want him to be mad at you."
I shrugged. "He knows that his life is too difficult for me. And that I can't be in it anymore."
"So you're not doing any relationships right now?"
I shrugged. "I can't."
He nodded. "So, what we did….."
"Was just a one time thing." I finished.
He nodded. "Because you were feeling vulnerable."
I nodded with him.
He smirked. "So I can't brag about it to-"
I shook my head.
He chuckled and nodded. "So its forgotten."
I nodded. "Forgotten." I said.
As night approached, I knew that either Christian knows or I'll have to tell him and I was dreading his appearance.
I felt the guilt but not the regret.
I took long breaths and watched as the sun went down.
I'm about to get the world's longest lecture.
I braced myself again.
There was no getting away from what I've done.
Christian probably won't look at me again in the same way and neither will Remy.
I wasn't in the mood to argue though.
A fist banged on the front door and I braced myself and exhaled.
I stood to my feet and went to the door.
I unlocked the door and slowly turned the knob.
To my surprise, it wasn't Christian at the door. It was Remy but he looked furious.
I knew he viewed me as a traitor now.
"How could you?" He asked.
"How could I what?"
"Um…fuck a motherfucking werewolf, Leena."
"Shouldn't me and Christian be having this conversation?"
"I don't give a fuck! He's out on a fucking rampage right now as we speak."
Remy's anger slightly disappeared and he smirked. "He's out to kill your little side boyfriend and I don't blame him."
"He can't kill him. He needs to blame me not Aiden."
"Too late." Remy shrugged. Oh shit. I can't let this happen.
I ran upstairs and went into my old bedroom and grabbed my gun and ran back downstairs.
Remy grabbed me and pushed me hard against the wall and grabbed the gun from my hands.
He threw it to the other side.
I tried to run out of the door but he pulled me back.
I fought with all I could. I took the chance and bit into him.
He groaned but not in pain.
He pushed me back against the wall and glared at me as his fangs shot down. "Do not do that."
"Then back the fuck off me." I said.
"What're going to go do, shoot Christian? You serious think I'd let you do that to him?"
"He cannot kill Aiden."
"Because he doesn't deserve it. He's just pissed because I'm giving the ring back now move."
"Why are you doing this to him?"
"I already told him I could not do this. Move , Remy!!!" I screamed.
He shook his head and I tried to push him. It was like trying to move a wall.
He crossed his arms and smiled.
I raised my hand and slapped him, he didn't move. He just looked shocked as if he didn't expect it.
"Move or I'll kill you."
"I'm not moving."
I dodged him and ran as fast as I could out of the door.
He followed me.
I couldn't let Christian go after Aiden like that.
I got into my car and got the extra keys out of the glove compartment.
I shoved them in and turned.
Aiden spends all his time in the woods. I'll go there first.
Remy was behind my car.
He wasn't going to move. "You fucking prick." I muttered.
I'm sorry but I had to do it, he'd heal anyway.
I reversed hard and heard the thump as I backed over him.
Fuck, I wanted to cry.
"I'm sorry." I whispered as my car got onto the street.
I sped off without thinking.
If its not one thing, its another. That's what seems to be going on with me lately.
Death, pain and sadness and I feel it so hard at all times when something like this happens.
I'm confused of my feelings for both Christian and Aiden but I cared about them both enough to try to stop them If one of them killed the other.
And Remy will be mad. Remy will be mad.
And I apologize although I know it won't be heard.
I swear it is so fucked up this is happening.
The car screeched as I came to a halt in the middle of the street.
I got out of the car and quickly ran into the woods.
Yeah, I'm scared shitless and the woods are huge but I'm surely going to find them one way or another.
I ran as fast as I could through the darkness and tried to keep my eyes open for anything. "Christian!" I called.
I called Aiden's name. And again.
I was heading towards the edge. I knew it.
I called his name again and a growl answered.
I stopped and looked around me.
I didn't see anything. Just the dark trees around me.
"Hello?" I asked.
Another dark growl.
"Christian?" My voice cracked.
It felt like everything around me was pitch black now.
"Aiden." I breathed.
A pair of red eyes appeared. Looked like Aiden's eyes.
Another growl from behind me rose and I swallowed.
I'm fucking terrified now. Where's Christian? He should feel my fear.
"Christian?" I asked.
Something, breathing hard ran towards me and I attempted to run but was pinned down by something with dark red eyes.
He growled loudly in my ear and I began crying in fear.
I knew what it was.
I just hope it isn't Aiden.
"Aiden?" I whispered.
The dark figure looked up at the full moon, threw his head back and howled loudly.
And got a few answering calls from others.
I sniffed and kept my eyes locked on it.
The wolf looked back down to me. It's mouth opened and it seemed to be full of sharp teeth.
"Oh please." I cried.
The wolf growled and spit and slob landed on my face but I ignored it.
It slowly backed away yet my fear didn't let up.
Yet, I slowly sat up but was pinned down again and I felt it's teeth clamp down on my flesh.
I screamed out in pain.
I watched it tear the flesh from my skin.
And from another area, I felt my flesh being pulled.
I cried out again and I felt two more pairs of teeth clamp down on me, tearing me apart.
All I could do was look up in the sky, at the full moon.
My screams didn't quiet down nor could they cease.
A wolf with white eyes looked down at me and I stared back up at it….not really seeing.
It opened its mouth and clamped down onto my throat and teared it all away.
I gasped and started gurgling and choking on my blood.
I gasped for air but I wasn't getting it.
All I could say was a slight squeak but nothing else would come out.
I took my last breaths as I saw dark holes filling my vision.
I knew what had happened before it did and I felt myself falling heavily into oblivion.