Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight franchise and am making no money from writing this. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning: Contains graphic descriptions of sexual situations and should ONLY be viewed by adults. By continuing, you're consenting that you're of legal adult status in the country in which you reside.
Rated: NC-17 or MA
Author's notes: The timeframe of this fic takes place within Twilight/Midnight Sun, sometime after Edward starts regularly spending the night in Bella’s bedroom – after she becomes aware of his nocturnal visits, of course. Edward POV.
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I knew, in retrospect, that I should have turned around and left as swiftly as I’d entered. As I landed soundlessly in her small, untidy bedroom in my usual graceful manner my senses were immediately assaulted by the potent scent of her blood, her hair, her skin, but it was somehow more . . . heady, more staggeringly dominant this evening.
Instead of turning around and leaving the way I’d come, however, I swallowed back the venom that had automatically pooled in my mouth and forcefully ignored the painful burning in my throat.
I am in control. I am not a slave to my thirst.
Confident that I would not harm Bella, I glided across her bed, forcing myself to breathe in the heady aroma on her pillow in preparation for her entrance. Having nothing better to do as I waited for her to finish showering, I reached for the dog-eared and tattered paperback copy of Wurthering Heights left open on her nightstand.
I snorted to myself, once again pondering her fascination with this novel as I began reading on the page where she’d left the book open. I was forever curious about the mystery that was Bella Swan’s mind. What, exactly, drew her to this book in particular?
Downstairs, a small part of my brain noted, the sounds of a game issued from the TV, and Chief Swan’s loud snores could be heard issuing forth from the couch where he’d fallen asleep.
In the bathroom down the hall I heard the shower shut off and the sound of Bella humming to herself as she undoubtedly dressed in one of the new pajama sets she’d bought since my nightly visits had become routine. She didn’t know that I knew she bought them expressly to replace her ragged sweats for the purpose of my visits. It was tempting to tease her on this matter, but in the end I had decided it best not to embarrass her. As entertaining as her kittenish outrage could be, I generally preferred her in a good mood.
As the bathroom door opened and the sounds of her footsteps drifted up the hall toward me, I couldn’t help but smile. She was still humming, and it was the lullaby that I’d composed specifically for her.
A moment later she entered the room and several things registered at once: Her luminous smile as her brown eyes met mine; the way her heartbeat automatically sped up at the mere sight of me, her blood quickening in her veins as a result. I registered, vaguely, that I’d been correct. She was indeed wearing a new set of pajamas: plain, blue cotton pants and a matching blue camisole that, when it came down to it, didn’t leave much to the imagination. The fabric clung to her enticingly, showing off the perfectly round shape of her small but firm breasts and the creamy, delectable skin of her rounded shoulders, throat, and chest, which was heaving from her accelerated breathing. A decidedly human instinct arose in me then; a decidedly male human instinct at that, so powerful that it fought and struggled against the other instinct that had arisen in me at the exact same time: the less human, more monstrous instinct that caused my throat to burn uncontrollably and the venom to pool in my mouth.
As I fought to control both extraordinarily powerful urges, I realized the reason that her scent, upon first entering her bedroom, had seemed so much more commanding than usual: She was menstruating. The scent washed over me like a tidal wave, blinding me, tossing me, pulling me into its depths.
I’d been around her while she was menstruating before, obviously. Those days I had chosen to absent myself using hunting as my excuse. However, this had been unexpected. I’d just been with her at school today and her scent, while always ridiculously potent, hadn’t seemed any more alluring than normal. I was caught unawares, frozen like a deer in the headlights, so to speak. Should I leave? Did I trust myself enough not to hurt her with the aroma of her feminine blood emanating from her, saturating the very air around her?
All this I cataloged in a matter of seconds. She was just now moving toward me, her arms outstretched in greeting, that enticing smile lighting up her face. The confusion of wanting to stay more than anything but needing to go more than anything, for her sake, tore through me, freezing me to the bed.
Control. I am in control. I will not harm Bella, my life and my love.
As she reached me, seemingly oblivious to my dilemma, slipping her lovely, silken arms around my waist as I set up on the bed, I knew that I would not leave. I was a selfish being, but I was not weak. I would not leave, but I would not harm her, either. I had promised myself that I would make myself safe for her, and I was not about to let something as mundane as her menstrual cycle undermine my efforts. I would simply have to make myself immune to it.
Swallowing back the venom, I gently wrapped her small frame in my arms, placing a kiss on her still-wet head and forcing myself to inhale deeply. I could do this. I was in control.
“Edward,” she murmured against my chest, causing my lips to pull up in a tender smile against her hair. No matter how recently we’d seen each other, she always greeted me as if we were reuniting after a particularly extended separation. It was something I would never tire of.
“Bella, my love,” I replied with a low chuckle, pulling back so that I could peer at her face.
She was gazing up at me with that look that I had come to know as her “dazzled” expression, all wide eyes, slightly parted lips, and hitched breathing. And I merely had to say her name.
We gazed at each other for one pregnant moment before she impatiently stood on the tips of her toes, pressing her soft lips against my marble ones. I responded, tightening my arms around her ever so slightly, returning her kiss, molding my lips more fully against hers.
Her scent was intoxicating; overwhelming. She was intoxicating, and in more than one way. Gently, hesitantly, I pulled my lips from hers, carefully extracting her arms from around my waist. If I continued to kiss her I wasn’t sure how well my resolve would hold. I couldn’t afford to make any mistakes – not with Bella.
I could see the disappointment in the way her lip pouted out slightly as I gently distanced myself from the heat of her body and the scent of her blood. That pout would’ve been my undoing if she’d still been pressed against the length of my body. “Let’s not test my limits tonight, love,” I said with a low chuckle at the petulant look on her face.
“Maybe I’m trying to test your limits,” she replied with a sigh, moving to sit on the end of her bed, curling her arms around her knees like a child.
I sighed in return. We’d had this conversation more than once. She still didn’t seem to understand that I was a potential danger to her. I simultaneously reveled in and abhorred her trust in me. I didn’t want her to trust me – no, that wasn’t true. I wanted her to trust me, but I knew that she shouldn’t. As much as I promised myself that I’d be safe for Bella, I still didn’t trust myself enough to test the boundaries of my self-control with her.
“Bella,” I started slowly, wondering how I could possibly word this another way – a way that it would finally get through to her, “you know I love you, and that I desire you – ”
She interrupted with a snort, but didn’t say anything, continuing to glare in the opposite direction.
I felt an unexpected surge of anger at her irrational behavior. Didn’t she know how much I wanted her? That every time I touched her I desired nothing less than to claim her in every way imaginable? And yet that was the very reason that it was essential that we maintain boundaries. It was to keep her safe – to keep her alive. One miscalculated touch and I could crush her fragile human body.
“Bella, you’re being absurd,” I stated, unable to stop the stab of anger from leaking through to my words. “Of course I want you, silly,” I went on, softening my tone, “but can you just try to understand that I’m trying to keep you alive?”
She looked at me then, a resigned smile on her face. “Of course I understand that, Edward,” she responded, shifting on the bed so that she was facing me. “I’m sorry I make it so hard for you sometimes. It’s just . . . I want . . . it’s frustrating, y’know?”
I smiled what I knew to be her favorite crooked smile. “Believe me, love, I know,” I replied, picking up her hand absently and placing a gentle kiss against the back of it.
She shivered noticeably. “In my defense, though, you make it damn hard for me sometimes.”
I chuckled at that, sliding back against the headboard and reaching my arms out for her. In the two seconds it took for her to sashay across the bed before situating herself in my arms, my body had instinctively reacted to the sight of her gorgeous breasts bobbing beneath her thin top.
I stifled a groan as I wrapped my arms around her warm body, humming with life, thinking that this one tiny, magnificent creature was all it took to awaken human instincts in me that had been dormant for at least eighty years, possibly longer. I really couldn’t recall my human life in great detail, other than the intense desire I’d had to be involved in the War.
Now, the inevitable lust for Bella’s blood, along with the newfound lust for her body and the inexplicable, all-consuming, irrevocable love I felt for her, all combined in a deadly, intoxicating mixture that would be my undoing. Or Bella’s, I thought with a grimace, willing my thoughts not to wander into that dark direction. I already knew I didn’t have the strength to stay away from her, so there was no point in even dwelling on the fact that I should be running as far from her as I possibly could.
As Bella’s head settled against the crook of my arm I kissed the crown of her head, drinking in the feel of her warm, soft body against mine, but simultaneously suffering because of it. The scent of her feminine blood was as strong as ever, if not more so because of the proximity of our bodies, and I found it necessary to stop breathing. No sense torturing myself needlessly and putting Bella at risk.
We were silent for several minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. “Did you hunt with Emmett this afternoon?” Bella asked, finally breaking the companionable silence.
“No, I was by myself,” I answered, wishing for about the millionth time that I could hear what she was thinking. “He and Rosalie needed some ‘quality time,’” I added with a snort.
Bella laughed at that, her body shaking against my chest, but after a moment she suddenly became very still. I didn’t have to read her mind to know that she was wishing that we could have what Emmett and Rosalie had: a physical relationship. “So what did you do this evening?” I asked, genuinely curious, but also attempting to distract her from her train of thought.
She shrugged, looking up from my chest to meet my eyes. “Same old. Made dinner for Charlie, cleaned up, started on that English paper that’s due on Monday. Mostly I waited for you, though.”
I smiled, fully pleased that she’d looked forward to our nightly routine with anticipation. “I hunted as quickly as I could,” I admitted. “Being away from you – even for short periods of time – pains me.”
“Ditto,” she remarked, returning my smile. “So did you kill any mountain lions tonight?”
“Just an elk,” I said with a wry grin. “I didn’t go far. I was too eager to get back.”
“Well, that’s disappointing,” she teased. “I expected something a bit . . . manlier.”
I laughed. “Manlier, huh? Well, then, next time I’ll try to live up to your expectations.”
“Please do.”
We continued to banter lightly in this manner for the better part of an hour. Gradually, I was able to breathe again, the fire that burnt in my throat easing its grip and the venom slower to flood my mouth with each heady breath that I took. My body, however, was less cooperative. I remained very aware of her physically, her soft body so warm and inviting, pressing so enticingly against the length of mine.
Her breathing began to deepen as her words became slower and fewer. I knew it would only be a few minutes until she was fast asleep. She rolled over on her left side, facing away from me, and I followed suit, wrapping my arm around her delicate waist as I spooned against her, humming her lullaby into her ear, my breath whispering across the delicate skin there and stirring her chocolate hair.
“Edward,” she sighed, her eyes fluttering shut. If I could cry, I probably would have right then. The sound of my name coming from her sweet, sweet lips was almost more than I could bear.
“I love you, Bella,” I whispered, my voice almost cracking, and I saw her lips curl up in the barest of smiles.
“Me, too, Edward.” And then she was breathing deeply and evenly, the corners of her lips locked up in that little half-smile.
Gently, I placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear. After that I’m not sure how long I simply watched Bella, contemplating her beauty; contemplating the unexpected, unfathomable love we shared.
Inexplicably, three hours slipped by as I simply gazed at her. Somewhere around midnight her usual muttering had begun. For a while I simply listened to her, contenting myself that her dreams were relatively pleasant. When, as usual, she began murmuring my name, I knew that if my heart were not dead in my chest that it would be soaring.
I knew when she arched her back, effectively rubbing her cute little backside against the most sensitive area of my body, that if I had a pulse it would be racing.
At that moment I became aware of several things at once. A fresh, staggeringly potent whiff of her feminine blood hit my nostrils at once, rendering me almost incapable of thought. Startled, I pulled away slightly to examine the source of the sudden onslaught, my eyes taking in the patch of deep crimson spreading out in a wide arc on the bum of her new pajama bottoms. The next thing I became aware of was that there was another scent intermingled with the already-overwhelming scent of the blood; a tangy, sweet aroma that I immediately recognized as the scent of Bella’s arousal.
I’d picked up that particular scent of Bella’s on many occasions, always in response to me. It was a heady, intoxicating thing, especially knowing that I was the one stirring those erotic feelings in her. However, in combination with the smell of her fresh blood it was beyond overwhelming. No words could describe the urges that were coming over me in that moment. My mouth was flooded with venom and my throat was burning beyond belief, never mind that I’d hunted this evening.
On top of that I was suddenly, unbearably aroused beyond the bounds of endurance. To make matters worse I realized that Bella was moaning my name, and not in an innocent way. Suddenly she rolled onto her back and I saw the moisture glistening on her slightly parted lips, the flush of her cheeks, and the blood thundering just below the surface of her soft flesh.
“Edwaaard . . .” she moaned, her chest heaving. Her nipples were erect through the thin top, enticing and inviting.
I had to get out of there. I had to right now. I was losing control.
However, my body wasn’t responding to my head. I was lost in a lust so all-consuming and powerful that I didn’t know if I would possibly be able to break free. Lust for her blood and lust for her body were clawing their way to the surface in equal ferocity, both fighting for dominance over the other. Who would win out, the monster or the man?
Run, Edward, you have to leave, now! You’ve lost control!
My body still not cooperating with my brain, I realized my hands were reaching for Bella as if of their own accord. My thumbs dragged almost roughly over her rounded breasts and across the taut peaks of her nipples, my hands coming to settle on her hips. My erection throbbed almost painfully in my loose trousers while my mouth swam with venom, my two insatiable appetites driving me onward while my brain screamed at me to stop.
Before I even realized what I was doing, my hands were dragging down Bella’s pajama bottoms, taking her panties and the thick pad attached with them. I think I might’ve ripped the material in my haste to remove her clothing, but I couldn’t be sure. The next thing I knew, Bella was wide awake, a mixture of confusion and arousal on her face that I might’ve found amusing had I not been so focused on my task.
“Edward, wha . . .?”
Her question hung in the air as I pushed her knees apart without preamble, and I was hit full on with the ridiculously delicious intermingled scents of her blood and arousal. I could see both liquids glistening in the dark curls of her sex and on the swollen folds just beneath the hair.
Glancing up, I saw Bella’s face flush with embarrassment, combined in equal measure with arousal and confusion. However, she didn’t protest or try to pull away. On the contrary, she looked . . . eager as she watched me, the way her fists clenched at the sheets and her chest heaved uncontrollably as she waited for my next move. It was the most erotic, sensual thing I’d ever seen in my life.
When she licked her lips in anticipation I knew I was lost. It didn’t matter how loudly my brain screamed that this was a mistake.
Experimentally, I swiped her sex with my hand, a feather-light caress. Her hips thrust up off the bed violently, a loud, strangled moan escaping her lips.
I froze as she clamped her hand over her own mouth, stifling her moan. Charlie was still snoring soundly downstairs, completely oblivious to what was going on in his daughter’s bedroom. Even if Charlie had awoken, I realized that I wasn’t sure if I could’ve stopped even then, not with the heady scent of Bella’s arousal and blood mere inches from my face, taunting my senses, overpowering my self-control.
No longer able to stop myself, I spread Bella’s trembling, milky thighs apart even further, dipping my tongue to lap up the blood that was already pooling against her buttocks. The taste of her blood was what I imagine a shot of heroine to be like to a human, only a hundred times more potent; a hundred times more all-consuming and powerful.
My throat burned with it and my mouth dripped with venom as I lapped up the blood, dragging my tongue in long strokes up the folds of her sex, seeking every last drop, the tangy flavor of her arousal mixed in with the blood only adding to its indescribable flavor.
There was nothing like this; there had never been anything like this. None of the evildoers I’d done away with during my vigilante days had tasted like this. There was absolutely no comparison.
Dimly, I was aware of the feel of Bella’s fingers gripping in my hair, encouraging me, low moans escaping from her mouth despite her attempts to stifle them with her fist. Her fist that had been clutching my hair suddenly moved up her body to knead at her own right breast through her thin shirt.
I groaned against Bella’s hot flesh, once again very aware of my persistent erection. However, the taste of her feminine blood, sweet on my tongue, was enough to drive thoughts of that other need out of my head. For now, anyway.
As my tongue finished lapping up all the blood from her folds, I sought her core, delving my tongue inside her tight passage, seeking out as much of the sweet nectar from her womb as I possibly could. As I did so, Bella’s hips bucked violently beneath me.
“Edward, Edward, Edward,” she was now chanting, her fist that had been shoved in her mouth now clutching at her own hair while her other continued to knead and pinch at her own breasts. I groaned again, overwhelmed, as a sudden image of Bella appeared in my head, pleasuring herself, touching her own breasts and sex while she thought of me . . . I couldn’t help but wonder, even as I sought the blood from her womb, whether she ever pleasured herself while thinking of me . . .
Snaking one hand through the curls of her sex, I sought out the bundle of nerves nestled right above her entrance. Once again her body rocked violently as I touched this particularly sensitive area. I applied a steady pressure while stroking it in a rapid motion. At the same time, I concentrated less on lapping her blood and more on fucking her with my tongue in time with the strokes of my fingers on her clit.
While it was true that I had no experience with this sort of thing, I had had plenty of time for reading about it. Although admittedly, before meeting Bella all things concerning sex had been purely an academic curiosity. Now, I was more than happy to be able to apply my knowledge.
I continued with the pace, fucking Bella with my mouth, periodically licking up another trickle of her sweet blood as it found its way out of her womb. She was moaning quite loudly now, and I had to concentrate to make sure that Charlie hadn’t stirred from his place on the couch downstairs, and more importantly I had to concentrate on applying just the right amount of pressure to her sex while I stroked her to completion. I cringed to think what would happen if I lost my concentration and applied just a miniscule amount of too much pressure . . .
The next thing I became aware of was Bella’s muscles pulsing and squeezing around my tongue, and my name falling from her lips with an even greater fervor. Glancing up, I saw that she was now gripping her breasts and hair even harder, a lusty, abandoned look on her face that I found to be maddeningly sensual.
I continued to stroke and lick until her body stilled and her trembling thighs relaxed on either side of my head. And then there was no sound except the still-wildly beating of her heart, her labored breathing, and the blood pulsing through her veins, louder than ever.
I pulled my head from her center, licking my lips and tasting her blood and arousal, the two sweetest tastes on earth. And that’s when my eyes caught it: the pulsing blue vein on the crook of her leg where it connected to her hip. The taste of her blood still so fresh and sweet on my lips, I found this other access to that intoxicating blood irresistible. I had but to sink my teeth into that oh-so-supple, creamy flesh, and I would feel her fresh, hot blood spilling once again over my tongue, my lips . . . spilling over my very being . . .
I kissed that vein, feeling it pulse with life beneath my open-mouthed caresses. My mouth flooding with venom, I snaked out my tongue, tracing that purple streak that stood out in stark contrast against her creamy flesh. So utterly decadent . . .
Bella! That voice that I’d been ignoring screamed in my head. This is Bella! Get a hold of yourself!
I pulled my head away abruptly, sliding up her body and pressing a kiss to her lips as I attempted to regain control over myself. I’d almost bit Bella . . .
But I didn’t. I stopped.
Bella kissed me back hungrily. If the taste of her own menstrual blood and arousal disgusted her she didn’t show it. Far from sated, that lusty, heavy-lidded look remained on her face. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“Edward . . . please. I want it . . . so bad.”
Abruptly I became aware that her legs were clamped tightly around my waist, my erection pressed against the wet, tantalizing heat of her opening. I’d been so concerned over the fact that I’d nearly bitten her that I’d failed to register this fact until just now. I didn’t even remember taking off my pants. Odd.
I groaned lowly, burying my face in her neck. “We can’t . . .” I groaned weakly, my resolve already dissolving into nothing. I knew it wouldn’t take much on her part to break my defenses down completely.
“Please,” she whispered again, a bit desperately, thrusting her hips against mine and consequently the head of my arousal slid into her heat by a centimeter.
She groaned in an odd mixture of pleasure and frustration at the feeling, biting down on her lower lip. All it would take is one thrust, and I’d be buried to the hilt in her slick, wet heat. Just one little movement is all it would take. It would be so easy, and then I’d know true bliss . . .
You could crush her. One slip in concentration is all it would take. One miniscule miscalculation of pressure and you could destroy her womb; crush every bone in her lower body, as well as her internal organs. You could break her as easily as if she were made of porcelain.
“Edwaaard . . . .” she groaned, practically in tears of frustration.
I groaned in a frustration of my own. To feel what it’s finally like, to move inside her, her slick walls tight and exquisite around me . . .
You could hurt her. You could kill her. Don’t you think you already pressed your luck tonight? You already almost bit her.
With the absolute last tiny thread of my remaining resolve, I tore myself away from her, flinging myself across the room while simultaneously pulling up my trousers. I had to get out of there. If I didn’t I would kill her. I couldn’t lose control with her like that. “Bella, I’m so sorry,” I said as I backed toward the window.
She was sitting up in bed, a look of confusion and lust on her beautiful, wide-eyed face.
“Forgive me, my love,” I said before throwing myself bodily from her window, not stopping long enough to give her a chance to react. I couldn’t afford to linger. The room was heavy with the perfume of her blood and her arousal.
I ran as fast as I could all the way home, the foliage racing by in a black blur. I saw nothing. My thoughts were blinding me. I lost control. I nearly killed her. In that moment I’d never felt more revulsion, more self-disgust and hatred over the nature of what I was, and remorse over what I couldn’t be for Bella: human – a normal human man who could make love to her without the risk of killing her.
She doesn’t want a normal human man. She wants you.
I sighed in disgust. It was a well-established fact that what Bella wanted and what Bella needed were two entirely different things. I was poison. This could only end badly.
When I arrived at the house I could immediately hear the thoughts of the others. Carlisle was in his office reading a medical journal. Alice and Esme were talking quietly in the family room, a sitcom that neither woman was actually watching on the TV. Jasper sat at one of the computers, his fingers racing over the keys at a preternatural pace. I tried to tune out the thoughts of Emmett and Rosalie, locked upstairs in their bedroom, where they would likely remain for the next several hours before it was time to go to school. It was times like this when I absolutely hated being able to read the minds of those around me.
I slipped in through the garage entrance, making my way silently toward the staircase. Both Esme and Alice looked at me as I passed, mutual expressions of concern on their faces. I saw in Alice’s thoughts immediately that she’d seen what I would do, and I was floored with a sudden, intense anger that she hadn’t tried to warn me.
I knew you wouldn’t actually hurt her, she thought apologetically at the expression on my face. You know I would’ve stopped you if I’d seen you actually hurting her.
I gave her a disgusted look before deciding to ignore her, heading straight up the stairs. I needed to talk to Carlisle, and yet . . . I found myself bypassing his office and heading straight to the bathroom across the way from my bedroom. I could always talk to Carlisle later.
I laughed humorlessly at myself, realizing that I needed a human moment. I stripped off my clothes, turned on the water, and stepped into the ice-cold downpour. I barely felt it. I probably should’ve known that a cold shower would be ineffective on a vampire, I thought grimly.
Feeling disgusted with myself, I realized that I was about to do something that I hadn’t felt compelled to do in the last eighty-something years. I braced one hand against the cold tiles, my other hand grasping my still-erect penis in a firm grip.
A part of my brain, as I began stroking myself, felt shame as it wondered if Alice knew what I was doing right now, in the same manner that I knew what Emmett and Rosalie were doing. I tried not to dwell on this, or on the disgust I felt for myself that I could lose control so easily.
And all it took for my undoing was one exquisite, extraordinary creature with big brown eyes and the creamy skin of an angel. I groaned, stroking myself harder toward my release as I remembered her writhing beneath me, her hands clutching at her own breasts, tangling in my hair. My name spilling from her lips in breathy, lusty gasps . . .
It didn’t take me long. With one final, guttural moan, my toxic seed spilled on the cold tiles to be washed away by the icy water. I braced my forehead against the tiles, reveling in the relief I felt at having the tension released, but at the same time feeling shame wash over me at the thought of how weak I was. How utterly lacking in self-control. I could have killed Bella tonight.
With a sigh I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying and dressing quickly. It wouldn’t happen again, I vowed. I knew that I didn’t have the strength to stay away from her, but I would not put her life in jeopardy like that again. I would simply have to be more careful from now on. No more mistakes.
I decided, as I absently scanned the titles of my CDs, that I would pick her up for school as usual, and prayed to God, if He truly existed as Carlisle believed, to please, please let Bella forgive me for my appalling lack of self-control. If I had to get down on my knees and beg her forgiveness, that’s what I’d do.
The selfish part of me, which was quickly proving to be the dominant part, craved her forgiveness – needed her forgiveness. While the other part of me, the part that was becoming quieter still as the days in her presence passed, silently begged her to keep as far away from me as possible, for her own safety.
Selecting one of my favorite calming CDs, I placed it in the stereo, turned the volume up loud, and spread out across the floor as I allowed the music to wash over me. It was a balm, soothing and calming my tumultuous mind. Restoring my control. Restoring my sense of self.
***
End Notes: I hope you enjoyed. For those readers who were disappointed that Edward and Bella didn’t actually make love in this fic, I wanted you to know that it was simply because I wanted to keep it as canon-compliant as possible while still making it smutty, and we all know (Breaking Dawn spoiler alert!!) that Edward and Bella don’t actually consummate their relationship until their honeymoon on Isle Esme.
I got the idea for this while reading the partial manuscript for Midnight Sun posted on Stephenie Meyer’s website, and partly from a scene that I read years ago in one of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I believe it was Memnoch the Devil.
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