“But wait…there’s more! We not only give you two sponges for the price of one, if you call now at 5-5-5-4-3-2-1, we will add another sponge totally free of charge. Yes, you heard me right, three sponges for the price of one!”
Beverley jumps up from the couch and runs to the phone in the corridor.
“Remember, call now! 5-5-5-4…” and the voice drown out as she punches five, five, and five on the phone.
“Bob, what was the rest of that number! I only got 5-5-5!” she screams as she looks around the corner frantically.
Bob tries to ignore his wife’s voice. She must stop with this obsession with television shopping! It is slowly driving him over the edge.
“Bob! Did you hear me?!” she screams again, almost at the point of insanity now.
“I heard you just fine the first time. I did not listen to the stupid ad, get it?! I don’t know what the dumb number is!” He throws the newspaper he was reading on the coffee table and walks to the kitchen slowly, grumbling under his breath.
Almost wailing, Beverley says, “You just could have told me that you don’t know.” She puts the phone down slowly and follows Bob to the kitchen. She watches him as he takes a spoon out of the drawer.
“Honey, don’t you think those sponges would have looked great in the kitchen?” she bats her eyes coyly.
“We already have sponges in the kitchen.”
He slowly flips on the kettle and grabs a red mug out of the cupboard.
“I think you must seek help, Beverley. This buying TV stuff has become an obsession now. I do admit, at first, the stuff you bought were really nice. But nowadays…” and he looks at his wife somberly.
“Face it love, you are addicted to the stuff.”
“I am not!” she cries indignantly. “I just love buying stuff I need, the same way you buy stuff for your computer over the internet.”
“Let’s not go down that road again”, and he puts his outstretched left hand in the air just as she was about to reiterate. He starts wiggling his middle finger and thumb and slowly brings the two tips together, their universal signal to shut up. She just glowered at his back as he left the kitchen with his cup of coffee.
She knew that moment what she had to do as she saw his firm butt move up the stairs slowly.
Bob came home to an eerily silent house the next evening. He was standing in front of the door practicing in his mind how he was going to apologize for the fight they had the previous evening. As he opened the door, a musky flavor tickled his nose and he could see a faint glow appearing. He stood dumbfounded as he saw candles all over the floor, placed in strategic places to give a romantic glow.
Tantric music started playing in the background and in the middle of the room stood Beverley. Beverley, as he never ever saw her before. Her thick, chestnut colored hair waving around her face, draping all over her shoulders. Her brown skin was melting with the brown of a leotard. A leotard that had holes in very strategic places, places he so loved and it just barely covered the rest of her body. She was swaying to the rhythm of the music. He was entranced!
“Where is my wife and what did you do with her?” he says as he finally manages to move air through his croaking throat.
“Relax Bob, tonight you get everything you wanted. You will get two”, and she points with one hand to her mouth and the other to her pelvis, “for the price of one.” She turns around on the last word, making him fully aware of the fact that the leotard was not just cut in the front.
Bob knew he should resist the sudden welling of heat in his pelvis, he knew there would be a catch somewhere, but he just could not think straight! He was feeling extremely dizzy at that moment. Darn the blood that did not go where it was suppose too!
Beverley swayed closer and closer. He just watched, a statue fixed in the center of her performance. She used him as a pole, sliding up and down, caressing her body as she moved. Whatever happened to his wife could happen to her more often he thought now fully aroused. Beverley looked at his erect state and smiled.
“Are you ready baby?” she asks as she bends in front of his legs and start caressing him with her rear. Bob almost explodes! He grabs her rough against him and start moving with her, relishing in her sighs.
“But wait, there’s more…” she almost sighs.
“More?” he asks, now only focused on this warm body in front of him that he just had to have.
“You can have this also” and she pushes her butt deeper into his pelvis. “Three for the price of one, do you want?” and she starts gyrating her pelvis, knowing he would not be able to think anymore.
“Yes, I want!” he almost screams in her ear as he tries to pull her closer to him.
With that acknowledgement, Beverley turns around, puts her lips softly against his and says, “You can have it all if you just call 5-5-5-1-2-3-4.” And she winks at him and walks away to the bedroom, leaving a dumbfounded (for the second time that night!) Bob staring at her naked backside, cursing himself for not apologizing sooner that day!