The Daily Torrent of Shit
SUNDAY,May 20, 1724
AIDS is a prevailing problem in our fine country.We must do something to put a stop to this deadly illness.
Anyone with AIDS must be hung by the kneck and killed.
Katarina read the headlines of the morning paper.The article that caught her eye was the one about AIDS. "Hang anyone with AIDS?!" She thought. "Oh no! My mother and I are both stricken with the illness now. We'll both be hung!" Fear rushed through her body like cold wind of anal gas. "I have to save my mother and myself!" She thought and thought and finally came upon an idea. Her idea was that if she could find a cure for AIDS, no one would have to worry or be hung because they were ill. "The only problem is that I do not have enough money," she thought. "Wait!" She exclaimed, "I can have a fundraiser- a benefit for my mother and me, to cure AIDS!" She leaped up out of her straw filled matress where she had been reading the paper, her squirrel fetus titties smacking her in the eye.
Katarina decided that if she was going to make enough money to cure AIDS she had to invite a lot of guests. She jogged down the cobblestone street with a spring in her step, on her way to the printer's shoppe (not to be confused with the word shop, these are two totally different words). She was happy to realize that no one was harassing her about her breasts any longer. Although they were flopping everywhere, they did not attract the same attention. In fact, people looked away in horror and vomited as she jogged past. Her squirrel fetus titty operation had only been last week, so blood and puss was still leaking out of the open wound. Not to mention that the head of the premature squirrel fetus implanted in the skin of her left breast was beginning to pop out of the incision where the nipple had been sewn on.
When she arrived the the printer's, the bell on the door rang. "Hello there Katarina," an old bearded man called out from behind the counter. He wore round spectacles and had a long white beard. He looked like a jolly and intellectual fellow. "What can I do for you?" He asked warmly. "I need some invitations printed please," Katarina replied. The old man stepped out from behind the counter revealing that he was not wearing any pants. He was completely naked below the waist. His hot dog and dingle berries floated freely in the temprate air of the print shoppe. Katarina was taken aback by the sheer hairyness of the old man's crotch rocket. His sausage was erect and ready for battle. The old man seductively motioned at Katarina with his pointer finger, beckoning her to come closer. Katarina, horrified at the perversion of the old man, grabbed a nearby computer, lifting it above her head, and slamming it onto the the old man's cranium. The old man was immediately knocked unconcius and blood was everywhere. Katarina, terrified by the gravity of the crime she had just psychotically comitted, scrambled to find the materials she needed to assemble the invitations, before she decided to dispose of the old man's body. After finding all of the materials for her invites, she found a paper cutter machine and dragged the old man's body over to it. First she started by putting penis into the paper cutter, then his individual fingers. All of a sudden the old man let out a groan. He was not dead yet! She decided the best course of action was to put him out of his misery as soon as possible. She took his groaning head in her hands and placed his neck underneath the paper cutter blade, like a guillotine. Chop! The blade went down. It did not sever the spine on the first attempt, so she lifted the paper cutter blade and chopped again, finally severing the spinal chord. She dragged his head, various chopped body parts and the rest of the corpse to the back of the shoppe. She located the fireplace that was used to heat the print shoppe. She quickly threw the individual body parts into the flame, adding paper she found in the shoppe to fuel the fire. The fire grew and grew and began smelling strongly of pork. The smell wafted through the air out into the streets. Passersby were enticed by the delicious scent and followed it into the shoppe. Katarina noticed the people coming in the front door and exclaiming how delicious the meat smelled. Katarina became nervous and her vagina became wet and sweaty. Her dress blew upwards from the draft of the people entering the shoppe, revealing a stanky, moldy, fish odoured, warty vagina. The people lined up behind the print shoppe's counter. Excitedly exclaiming how delicious everything smelled. "Old Man Print Shoppe! What is that delightful smell coming from the building?" A young, blonde woman exclaimed. Her blouse and corset fell down revealing adorable, voluptious, perky breasts. The man next to her licked her nipples with delight. Another man became jealous and stabbed the other in the throat with a letter opener. The stabbed man yelled, "Oh no you didn't boy! I will cutchu! I will cutchu so bad you won even know I cutchu so bad!" Blood leaked out as the man staggered backwards to his death.
Katarina was increasingly nervous as more and more people wandered into the shoppe smelling what they thought was roasted pork. She popped her head out into the front of the shoppe to see how many poeple were gathered. There were nearly twenty people. They chanted, "We want pork! We want pork!" There had been a shortage of food in the town recently. Poverty and starvation ran rampant throughout the villages. People were clamouring to get a bite to eat. The only people who were not hungry were the nobles, who lived comfortably in their castles and mansions driving their Cadilacs, with servants waiting on them, and x-box 360s to play through the dark lonely nights . The hungry villagers shouted. "Give us food Old Man Print Shoppe!" Katarina came out to the front of the store. She addressed them, "Hello everyone. Old Man Print Shoppe is not here right now, but I have meat cooking in the back. I can give you all a bit in a moment, just let me bring it to you. I'll be quick." One of the anonymous villagers shouted, "What about Old Man Print Shoppe? Why are you making pork chops in his store?" Katarina nervously replied, "Motha fucka, ain't nobody guna get nun dem pok chops if yo ass keep talkin." She rushed to the back. Gasping nervously pulling the charred human meat out of the flames. She took the blade used to dismember the old man's body and wiped the blood off with her dress. She then took the cooked human flesh and brought it to the paper cutter, using the paper cutter to chop the meat into portions, making sure that the portions could not be recognized as human remains. She brought the portions out on a wooden plank, serving it to the hungry villagers. They gasped and drooled greedily consuming the meat. Some of the meat was undercooked and blood leaked out. Their faces were covered in blood and meat scraps. Katarina laughed at their idiocy. She left out the back door, still laughing at the starving idiots eating the old man's bloody, roasted corpse.
Katarina danced merrily all the way home through the forest, with her invitation stationary in hand. Her saggy squirrel tits suddenly revealed themselves glistening in the sunlight. Katarina then got very wet after glancing at her own breasts and began masturbating amogst the trees. The scent of the masturbation attracted a forest local. Katarina heard foot steps and rustling amongst the ferns of the forest. The noise was coming closer and closer. There was a dragging soound on the forest floor. All of a sudden, out of the brush, came what appeared to be half man, half horse. However it was not the typical centaur. It was a reverse centaur. The upper body consisted of a horse head supported on the neck and body of a human. The head was so heavy that the reverse centaur had to drag the head on the ground most of the time. It occasionally would attempt to lift the head but gravity would once again pull the horse head down. Katarina was strangely aroused by the reverse centaur and pitied his struggle. It was at that point that the reverse cenetaur and Katarina made eye contact. This was difficult for the reverse centaur. His head was practically upside down resting on the forest floor. The reverse cenetaur neighed erotically and approached Katarina, dragging his heavy skull. Katarina held eye contact with the reverse cenetaur, her eyes twinkling in the beams of light coming from the green canopy. The reverse cenetaur rested his body on a bed of flowers. He slowly removed his loin cloth, revealing a long, wide shaft. Katarina held his gaze and approached him on the bed of flowers. She kneeled down by the poor beast and rubbed his horse head compassionately, gazing into his eyes. His long horse mouth and square teeth leaned in toward Katarina, coming closer for a kiss. The sunlight from the canopy illuminated them on the bed of flowers. The large trees were like pillars surrounding them and the ferns blew gently in the wind. Dust particles sparkled in the rays of light. They kissed. It was like no other kiss. The kiss was soft and gentle. The reverse cenetaur's coarse, hairy lips met hers. His horse mouth fumbled around as if he were grasping for hay. His breath smelled like a barnyard. The reverse cenetaur's large human cock became hard and erect because of the gentle kiss from Katarina's mouth. The reverse cenetaur whinnied in delight. Katarina took this as a signal to mount his human meat stick. He slid into her warty, fish odoured, pussy easily. She was uber wet. It was at that point that he began thrusting quickly and passionately inside of her. She sighed with delight. They maintained eye contact. He then nibbled on her neck with his herbivore teeth. After twelve hours of passionate love making the reverse cenetaur finally came. It was the load of a horse. An enormous amount of semen exploded into her tight, yet warty vagina. She screamed. The release was so excellent. "Get me pregnant!" she screamed at him. Afterwards, they rested on the bed of flowers. Katarina finally told him, "I have AIDS."