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New Moon Remix Part I

Short story By: Sparkles McGee

This story mixes the literary excitement of the 17th and 18th centuries with modern twists and erotic action. There is a plethora of erotica, humor, and science. The author, Sparkles McGee, has also incorporated 17th and 18th century prose into the literature, along with some modern twists to entice readers. The adventures of Mary Katarina will enthrall, excite, and arouse you. Stay tuned for part II of this amazing and unique series.

Submitted:Feb 10, 2012    Reads: 183    Comments: 9    Likes: 4   

The causes of the apparent daily motions of the sun and stars across the sky are that the Earth is orbiting around the sun, but since we are standing or located on Earth, observing the sky, it appears that the sun and stars are moving across the sky above Earth. In reality, the Earth is spinning around the sun, so the view or perspective we have of the sky is constantly altered. It is like being on a moving train and feeling like the trees and scenery are moving but the train is the thing standing still. The moon also appears to be following the Earth. That is because it is! The moon orbits the Earth with only one side facing the Earth at all times. The other side is invisible to observers from Earth. It seems to move across the sky and wax and wane. This is because the angle that the sun shines on the moon effects the ability of the moon to be observed from Earth and also effects how the moon appears to viewers. When the moon is situated between the Earth and the Sun the moon is not visible from Earth and is called a New Moon. (As in Twilight motha fuckasszzz.. LIL WAYNE IZ BACCKKEEE)

When the new moon is in the night sky, the tides change. Werewolves begin to emerge from their dens to hunt and feast on innocent blood. Mary Katerina was a young girl back in the year 1704 and she was out in the fields on the night of a NEW MOON. She was picking flowers for her sickly mother Anya. Anya had AIDS. Mary Katerina picked the flowers daintily and slid them into her apron pockets. Sliding a few in between her young, supple, sweat glistening, perky breasts. All of a sudden, out of the woods came a low growl. She spun her head around, wondering what could have made the threatening sound. As she spun the flowers flew out of her breasts. Hitting a bystanders penis. The man cried out! Why KATARINA!>? WHY!? I was just standing here watching you put flowers in your DD breasts and you hit my penis! You bitch! Katarina looked confused, flustered and completely taken aback by this hunky man's presence. She was a bit angry though that he had been watching her stuff the innocent floral arrangement in between her saggy, voluptious, freckly breasts. The entity that had growled had also been angered by the man with his penis out. The shadowy beast dove out of the woods, mauling the penis man. Ripping his anal cavity open and feasting on his intestines and feces. The penis man shouted to Anya, "Run GODAMMIT! RUN!! Save those BREASTS!!!! AHHHH!!" These were the penis man's last words as, what could now be seen as a werewolf, tore apart the man's organs bathing in his fecal matter and blood. Mucus seeped out of the dying mans nose and blood from his half torn off jaw. Katarina ran and ran, not looking back. She didn't even stop when she noticed that the flowers had fallen out of her apron pockets and her hairy breasts. When she arrived at home to find her suffering mother, she slammed the door and barred it shut with a slab of wood.

Her mother cried! "What the fuck you little bitch! WHo di you thinkz you izzz comin into maz house with none of dem dat there flowas?" Katarina said, "Sorry mother. I was attacked by a beast! It tried to kill me!" The mother scoffed and hockered a lugi in Katarina's direction. The mother sarcastically quipped, "Sure you were attacked by a WEARWOLLFF. I bet you were attacked by a giant penis you hoe. AND, I BET YOU LOVED IT. FUCKING SKANK." Katarina ignored her mother and finished barring off all of the windows and doors with wooden planks. She tended to the fire and watched as her angry AIDS ridden mother fell into a deep slumber. That night Katarina barely slept. She kept picturing the anonymous masturbator watching her pick flowers who was mauled by the werewolf. She couldn't bear to shut her eyes. As the night wore on though, sleepiness overcame her and she fell into a light coma.

The next morning she awoke to a banging at the door. Her mom shouted, "Wake up you bag of venerial diseases! Wake up you dirty scum ridden, stanky vagina hoe!" It was morning. The light slid through the cracks in between her eyelids. She opened them completely and stood up to answer the knocking at the door. She opened the door a crack and poked half of her face out. One of her breasts popped out of the door crack too. To her surprise it was a man dressed in a strange uniform. It was black and had a red band with a swastika on it. He said, "Guten tag fraulein." She responded, "I'm sorry sir but I know not the language you speak." He laughed and said, "Show me thy boobies." Katarina was not surpried by this request, as men asked her to see them all the time. Seeing as how she was a woman and felt inferior to these males, she promptly flashed her stretch mark ridden breasts. A bit of milk leaked out and the man screamed at her to put her breasts back where they belonged or he would have to chop them off. The Nazi asked if there were any sick people in the house. Katarina denied that there was anyone else in the house. All of a sudden her mother, suffering from full-blown AIDS let out a cough. The Nazi smiled a sinister smile and pushed open the door full force, sending Katarina flying backwards onto the dirt floor of the tiny house. "Ich going to kill whoever that cough belongs to!" the Nazi shouted. The Nazi saw the mother laying in bed. The mother was fat despite her full-blown AIDS but had black circles around her red eyes (the mother was an albino). The mother had died her hair red though, so her red eyes matched her fire red hair. Truth be told she looked like the devil himself. (If the devil had the final stages of AIDS.) She also had veins showing through her skin, since her albino skin was so fair. She also had a tiny arm that protruded out of her side. In the olden times, back in the 1600's, her mother had been revered as an angel sent from God because of the tiny third arm. Now though, in modern society (the 1700's) she was ridiculed and insulted. As a result of the ridicule and insult her self esteem plummeted and she began sleeping around. Most men would not have sex with her so she would go the local apothecary and buy a sleeping tincture and have her way with men in the village. One time she even had sex with the local musician's pet monkey. This is how she acquired AIDS. Everyone called her Three Arm Angelina. That was her name without the "Three Arm" part.

The Nazi was so taken aback by the woman's hideous face and body that he immediately vomited. He then, so confused by her grotesqueness, got an erection. He then began raping her. As he was raping Three Arm Angelina, or Katarina's mother, Katarina found a shovel and bashed it over his head. She hit him so hard that her breasts fell out of her dress. It also cracked the Nazi's skull open and his brains flew everywhere. Landing on the walls of the house. The mother, Three Arm Angelina, screamed, "NO! He was having sex with me!!! Why would you kill him!!!!" "Mother!" Katarina replied, "He was raping you! He was going to kill you afterwards too!" "You bitch!" the mother cried, "If I could stand up, if I was less obese, I would kill you, you dirty crab infested snake." Katarina was angry now. Her boob fell out of her top again and she put on some Sketchers and went outside. She couldn't take her mother's angry screaming any longer.


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