Upon walking into the house, I was confronted by the sight of five naked sexually affluent forms enjoying their feminity in front of each other and dancing around to Gym Class Heroes. Normally, this wouldn't turn me on, because it's a reoccurring theme here, because this house is a den for freedom and spiritual expression the likes of which I've never witnessed. Fuck, it's the only reason I come here sometimes, but these are five of the best friends I've ever known. We can all sit for hours completely skyclad, just talking about whatever is on our minds.
"Come on and join us already, Kevin, don't just stand there gawking, get naked, motherfuck-a!" Sally said in her normal gangsta bitch tone, hanging the end of that statement into a single girl howl. She was a sexual being in every sense that you read about in social studies books, of societies long gone, she wasn't skinny, but she had curves for days, great breasts that despite being in her mid-20s were still nice and perky as ever. She was dancing and turning up the volume on the stereo system till the walls shaked with bass and their movements. I obliged her request and got naked with all of them.
"Good to see you all in high spirits today," I exclaimed over the din, then I thought out loud, even though I knew the answer: "So, what's the reason for today's dancing?"
"It's Friday, payday motherfuck-a! I'm stoked because I just paid all of my bills off, I have no worries, and I still had money left for beer and Jagermeister!" Kelcy shouted, and then screamed out her happiness. Kell was a woman who was proud of anything she did, and even more enamored with her chiseled body she'd spent hours each day working out to keep hard and cut, tight and high breasts and legs for days that could suffocate you in a heartbeat. "So what took you so long to get here?"
"I've just been out cruising around thinking about what's going on lately-"
Leslie, the shy one of the group, a body that she seemed ashamed of in public but let ever jiggly bit of her hang out proudly here, cut me off in her famous fashion: "What would that be, the fact that you have a job, great money, and a family who loves you? What about your wife, what's she up to?"
"Actually, that's what took me so long. I just came from finalizing the plans." I said, somberly.
Nora came in from the kitchen with a snack plate and beers in every pocket of her wide-open robe. "What plans? What happened," she asked, curious with a scared tone in her voice.
"A couple nights ago, Liz and Hope were on the way back from Great Grammie's when a drunk driver jumped the curb and broadsided the vehicle," I paused to gather myself, breathe and take a drink. "She was killed instantly, as well as the fetus she was carrying. Hope was trapped inside the opposite door, she got cut out of the vehicle, taken to the intensive care unit, and hooked up to everything that you could ever think. She was just laying their, fighting for breath, and then she just gave up. She died only a few hours after it all happened." I burst into tears.
All of the girls came in to console me, and for once I wasn't thinking about the naked flesh all around me, it couldn't have been further from my mind. After sitting there for awhile, drinking beer, and doing at least a dozen shots in honor of those lost, Nora spoke up, breaking the silence that was deafening and murderous: "So how have you been aside from the obvious?"
"I've been so distraught and there's been so much to take care of that I haven't slept or been sober since I left the hospital. It's just been so exasperating but I can't find the time or desire to sleep, they're in my thoughts when I'm awake and in my dreams when I'm asleep," I sobbed.
"You need to sleep; you're not even going to make it to the funeral!" Sally pointed out, pausing, she added: "When is it?"
"Monday at 8am, at the funeral home on the south side. I'd be deeply indebted and honored if you would all come, dressed I'd hope!" I chuckled, breaking the tension in the room.
"We'll be there, for you," Kelcy chimed in. "I've got a bed, there's five naked women here, and you need rest. We'll help, in any way we can. You name it; we'll help if we're available!"
"How can I sleep with five naked women running around?" I exclaimed sarcastically, and then I stated: "I'll be fine; I'm going to lie down."
The bed was the most comfortable I'd ever laid down on, it was quiet, as the ladies cleaned up the empties and went about cleaning the house. I lay thinking about how I didn't want to be a buzzkill on their party.
I walked into a white, really brightly lit room, and there stood my family, looking at me, and my daughter ran up to hug me, but she couldn't. As I stood standing at my family for what I knew would be the last time, I couldn't help but break into tears, this was the life I'd had for seven years, and a considerable portion of memories that were still vivid even from the first time I met Liz. The next thing I saw was a bright flash of light as they disappeared. Then I walked into the morgue where I saw their bodies, post autopsy, laying on cold grey tables. I had to identify both Liz and Hope; it was like reliving the past two days all over again, in every vivid gory detail. I snapped awake in tears, realizing I was sobbing into Nora's fleshy chest, wrapped up in my body as her naked form lost itself in mine. Apparently, I'd wound up naked during my slumber.
"How long was I out? It was noon when I came here, and it's still light," I said groggily.
"Actually its eight-thirty, you've been out for some time. Last night we were watching the late show, and you came out of the bedroom, hit the kitchen, then the bathroom, came out naked and went right back to bed," Nora pointed out.
"Shit, I haven't slept that deep in a long time, and the worst part is, the dreams I had sucked balls!" I stated, telling her about the dream the night before.
She lay silent, as did I; we laid there with Candlebox on the radio for what seemed like an hour. Finally, we got up, put the CD in the living room radio, and danced naked as we turned it up and drank some beers left from the night before, giving a wake-up call to the house. Kelcy and Sally came out, and followed us in grabbing beers. Anna and Grace, who woke up fresh after their night at work together, each got a drink, dropped their robes in a pile on the floor and joined in the festivities. Dancing with these naked goddesses was incredible, watching the sun dance off their naked bodies through the open curtains, while a couple of neighbors across the street watched intently while raking leaves. It was like being let in on an ancient ritual, celebrating what they already had, and thankful for what they were yet to receive. These were women who weren't shy about themselves here. A couple hours later, we tossed on robes, I pulled up a blanket, and we watched the news. There was a story about a drunk driver in town, and I told Anna to turn up the TV. We watched, and sure enough, there he was. The asshole that ended my happiness. The dickhead who took away the people who meant most to me aside from these five great women who looked over my reactions to the story unfolding on the box in front of me. Grace took the remote from Anna and turned it off.
"We don't need to upset him any more than he has been. We're not that type of people. Are you okay, Kevin?" Grace asked, her tone turning motherly, though it was sisterly just a moment earlier.
"I'll be okay, I just don't know about that fucking douchenozzle if I were to get my hands on him." I said angrily: "I just don't know how I feel exactly yet, but I'm going to get out for a bit, go for a drive, clear my head."
"Okay, you need anything, you call us!" Kelcy stated.
"I'll be sure to, I might stop back later tonight, I'm not sure if I really want to go back to my house right now. If I gave one of you a key, would you go get a couple changes of clothes for me?" I asked of them.
"Sure, I'll do it," Nora gladly obliged. I tossed her my door key and walked to my car. The engine purred loudly as I turned the key, also bringing to life the stereo, complete with my iPod hooked up, which had the same Candlebox album playing. I took off down the road to the gas station. As I left the radio going in the car, I filled up the tank while the brisk air coursed over me, and taking some leaves along the ground with it. I thought about the dreams the night before, the thoughts of the women who consoled me, and haven't seen me this bad in a long time. I also thought about all the feelings that I had while watching that news story. I also remember the last text message she sent me: "I have something I want to tell you about, I can't wait!" The only thing I could think about, knowing about the life that had been growing in her now rancid womb, was that was what she was excited to tell me about, because I had noticed some differences, and yet she still hadn't told me even when I'd asked her flat out about it. The gas nozzle clicked off, I put it back on the hanger, walked inside the store. The heater was already on and greeted me at the door with a blast of hot air that was so dry I couldn't even mist up at the events of the past few days. I grabbed a couple Mountain Dews from the cooler, paid the attendant and walked back out into the cold, harsh, real, air. Getting back in the car and driving off, I lost myself into deep thought about what could have happened that night, but didn't. I drove past the cemetery where my grandmother was buried, thinking about everything I'd experienced in this neighborhood. I turned left at the light like I have many times before, not even thinking about the turn I'd just made. I drove alongside the cemetery to the stop sign, not even thinking I turned right, and still driving along the cemetery I snapped out of my thought, and instantly knew where I was going, I was going home. But I couldn't, I drove right past it, and turned on the street in front of my house to get away as fast as possible. I kept listening to the album, faced forward and kept driving until I got to downtown. I sat at that stop sign for what must have been several minutes, before I finally started off driving back to the south side of town. I drove past the downtown area with the three churches in two blocks, driving past the houses in various states of disrepair or being repaired. Took a right past the flower shop I used to get anniversary flowers for Liz, and drove on that street, past all the houses that seemed to tower over the street, looming down at me. Driving past the middle school I just couldn't help but think about the people I knew through my wife that I didn't even tell anything to yet, just the five women I've loved and held so dear as great friends for over a decade. I drove over the tracks, and past the houses with the expansive yards that seemed to be more suited to a football field than a house. Snaking up the hill past more of these insanely large lots, and resting at the stop sign, thinking about the times we had where Liz, Hope and I would drive around aimlessly to pass the time and enjoy each other's company. I turned right onto the main road out of town in this direction, driving faster than the speed limit just to get to the gravel road that was being turned into a concrete thoroughfare, I took it past the bend in the road, to the old highway, and another right turn, to my favorite park, as I bounced across the ruts to come to a stop in the parking lot, I got out and started walking, looking at the expanse of nature sitting here, despite the distant sounds of heavy traffic on the new highway, I walked to my favorite tree to sit in, and just sat there and pondered about life, and how this was going to change me.
I got out of the car in front of Kelcy's house, and walked through the screened in porch, knocked on the door, and right past the ladies, into the bedroom where I was earlier. I lay in the bed sobbing myself to sleep, hoping that I wasn't heard. But I was, and to comfort me, Anna, Kelcy and Grace came in and curled up with their naked flesh pressed against me in comfort. Grace started nibbling my shoulder, and took off my shirt. Kelcy started at my pants, and despite my many protests, she slid them off with ease, I realized I was ready to pass out again, so I didn't fight anymore. Anna sat with her womanhood right over my face, to which I started licking with a fervor unseen in many moons from me. As Kelcy started playing with my throbbing member, Grace started kissing Anna and rubbing her crotch over my head. Anna's moans of passion set off Kelcy's drive to please, and she started running her mouth up and down my cock, this was the most furious blowjob I'd ever received, and these were from women who I held in highest regard as friends, but with this relaxation settling over me, I wasn't going to complain. Kelcy hopped on and started grinding my crotch with her dripping wet pussy, while Anna and Grace switched places, while Anna lay at the head of the bed, and Grace lay bent over my head in pleasure, started licking Anna's pussy, tasting all the sweet juices coming from it. Kelcy then got off my dick, trading places with Anna, so Grace could taste her work on getting sopping wet off the action. Grace was so hot that she came all over my face, dripping down my chin and onto the bed, so wet that she had to stop for a minute to towel her soaking wet vagina off. Anna started licking Kelcy's juices off my cock, then got her own on it while riding me reverse cowgirl style. She moaned and came so hard she shuddered on me. A little more work and she turned around, sliding a pair of fingers in Grace's dripping crotch, which made her come harder all over me, and she had to take a break, so she switched with Kelcy, who sat her wet crotch on my face, burying my nose in her clit, and with that motion she came as well. Anna's fingers buried themselves in Kelcy's twat, which made her shudder in another powerful orgasm. I got up, held Kelcy against the wall over my head, and ate her out while Anna was under me getting pounded with my throbbing cock, ready to explode. Grace stood over Anna and right next to Kelcy so Anna's licking could get both of them wet at the same time. I kept pounding away and Anna so hard I couldn't believe it. I'd never felt this at ease with a woman, let alone three, I was fucking like a pornstar and loving it. So this is the kind of freedom they tell me about? I thought to myself. I pulled out, and got all the ladies on the bed, and blew a hot load in each of their mouths while they sucked on my cock like it was never going to end. I kept coming so hard that I kept filling them until finally I shot out everything I could muster. I passed out on the bed, with three satisfied women, myself fully sated.
The sun broke through the gaps in the blinds as morning came to knock on my face. I didn't want to climb out of bed, because I knew what lay before me today. Not a time I wanted to be alive. Looking at my clock, it was already 630, and sunny, damn. Not the way to start the day. I dragged my naked ass to the shower, turning on the steaming hot beam of water, ready to cleanse away the day before, I thought about what had occurred last night. The transfixation of all of us together was something to marvel about. While I lost myself in thought, I didn't hear Nora sneak in. She ripped the shower curtain back and climbed in with me. Her voluptuous form glistening with the spray that got on her sexy form, the way it does when she puts glitter on to hit the clubs, the water rolling off her thick, aroused nipples, falling over her belly, rolling down her legs to the basin, to the drain awaiting the kiss from the blessed dew.
"So, are you ready for the day?" She asked, knowing the answer that awaited her.
"No, not at all. I'd rather be anywhere but here right now," I replied with a feeling of pain unlike I'd ever experienced before, while washing my legs.
"It could be worse, although I don't imagine how. You need to stop thinking about the unknown and face it with everything you've got. It could be the best thing you ever do. You should go to the funeral, stand up, and say everything that makes you miss them with your heart, but don't cry, show that you can sidestep the shit on its way to the fan," she reassured.
"I guess I can try, but I'm not guaranteeing a damn thing," I replied, still wondering about the day ahead.
I got in the car, Anna, Grace and Kelcy rode with me, with Nora and Sally following, I put on an album and started to listen to it to get in the mood for the events ahead. "I'm gonna get ya, Satan getcha, Hells bells! They're comin for you, Hells bells-. " Sally cut me off:
"Yeah, it's a farewell of sorts, to the ones I loved, and the one I barely knew. May I always drink to you," I sang.
I had to change the subject. The thoughts about last night were killing me.
"So," I paused a bit. "About last night, I had a great time, and I've never been so turned on by what took place."
"Last night was a great thing, we all acted on sexual tension that had built for some time. We saw you needed comfort, and we, being sexual beings, were happy to oblige," Kelcy started.
"But," Anna added. "We're not just there for your sexual pleasure; I personally enjoyed last night, and might do it again with you, just because I've never cum like that before. I hope you still think of us as great friends."
I had to state something, before this got off in the wrong direction. "I had an amazing time too, for once, for at least an hour, I got my mind off the pain and suffering of the last few days, and focused on what makes me happiest, bringing sexual pleasure to women. I love you guys, and you are the best friends I've ever had, well, best female friends at least. Can't count out my best bud."
"We're glad you feel that way, Kevin, we're happy to be there for you at any time." Grace said, adding quickly: "I also have never cum like that before. Anytime you want to fuck the hell out of me like that, I'm glad to be your subject of pleasure."
Pulling up to the funeral home didn't help the matter any. The canopy of the drop-off area was towering over me, looking down in its warm color upon my sorrow. Walking through the doors, I realized there was no turning back, as my grandparents, mother, father and brother were there, as was his wife and both of my parent's significant others. The greetings weren't comforting whatsoever. All six of us sat with my parents in the front row, uncomfortable if not by the outstandingly hard benches as the moment we'd gathered for. The preacher came up, said some words, which were comforting for my mother-in-law. She'd always told us the story about the birth of my wife, but I won't go into that here, lets say it ends up that she gave Liz to Jesus to forsake the pain of childbirth. Then her dad stood up, and told many great stories about her, many things that I didn't know, for she had never told me. These would have made my heart pine for her more, which thinking about it would have probably made this worse. And then came time for the eulogy from me. "Oh shit," I thought. "What will I say?" Just then, Nora's comment in the shower stood out. Although not how she probably meant it: "Tell them what makes you miss them with your heart." So I started:
"I stand here before you, everyone who has ever come in contact with myself or my," I stood stone-faced, trying not to quiver under the immense grief, "wife, those who miss her, her spirit, her body, her friendship. But I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that all of you here forget one thing. The simple fact that even the honorable Reverend forgot up here: Liz was a Pagan. She has been for many years, and many of you have forgotten that, just to keep a small bit of your normalcy intact. Those of you who did know that and celebrated that fact are at least off the hook here. I miss these two, and the one I didn't even know about, because of the fact that they chose what they wanted to be. Not because of what everyone else wanted, nor requests made of her that were selfish in intent. Yes, mom, I'm talking about you," I pointed at my mother-in-law. "You couldn't just let her be her own person? You had to give her up to your god in the hopes that he would take your pain away? How selfish is that? Am I the only one thinking that is selfish? The whole thing I realize now is that while I celebrated her sexuality, her womanliness, everything that happened to her and the bad stuff as well, you didn't. I celebrated everything that happened to her, because it made her who she was until she died. And that is why I fell in love with her. You know what, I can't fucking be here anymore, I'm going to the bar, anyone who wants to join me is welcomed," and with that, I stormed out the door, past the carport that loomed overhead, into my car, with the girls in tow, and we got out of there like our asses were on fire.
Tuesday. Fuck. I have to go back to work today, and I'm not even sure how to do this. All the way there I could only think about Saturday night, and the funeral. The air in the car around me was bittersweet; on one hand I had the most awesome sex of my life without Liz with three women who get me. The other, I've lost my wife, child and unborn. The snow on the ground was a reminder of how cold the world is at this point. Pulling into the cracked blacktop parking lot, I reminded myself that I have to do this to make money. I'd just received the money from my wife's life insurance policy, kind of a nice thing to remind me I did the right thing in getting her that extravagant policy. $200,000 seemed a lot to pay for monthly, but I realized how much worth it to have it was. I not only put the house, both cars, and all other debts in check, but I also covered her final expenses, and the hospital bills. And I still had a nice chunk leftover; only thing that gave me pause was the cost of said chunk of change. Walking inside I didn't even speak to anyone in the parking lot, the events of the weekend laying on my mind as much as still working for this company that draws my ire everytime I walk through the doors. The corrugated steel giant looms over me, reminding me of how pent up and kept under thumb I feel. I walked in, and the first words I said were to my boss, enough to get my paycheck, a schedule for the day, and some earplugs. I walked to my workstation, plugged in my music player and turned up the tunes. I put on some of the darkest heavy metal I could find and just let it play. This was going great until Sam came over, and turned down my music. She was a woman approaching middle age, but had the fight and attitude of most of her younger counterparts, her silver-grey hair stretching from her head to the middle of her back, a larger woman whose teeth shown much wear.
"Why the fuck do you have that junk up so damn loud?" She yelled over my music.
"It cleans my head, and with the shit that happened this week, I'm in great need of it." I replied with force in my voice, something I normally never show to her out of respect.
"John told me about that, he said you lost your wife and kid."
"And my unborn one, apparently," I added, quietly, given the din of the factory.
"Oh damn, here," she sympathized, turning the music up to a louder, yet tolerable level for her. "I'm sorry for your loss," her words grew louder to be heard over the music. Then she reached in for a hug, something I'd never expected from her. This tough exterior, yet soft when called for?
Upon waking, I felt well rested, and I decided to get in my car and go for a drive, just driving, for no reason, something I haven't done in many moons. I turned up the music as I drove past my work, and onto the main road that would lead me south of town, and to the highway. Driving through town I wondered about what lay ahead of me, suddenly, I realized I didn't care. I don't know what came over me, but I realized I didn't want to be in the same place I was anymore than I wanted my wife and children gone. I stopped in a parking lot of a desolate mall, almost empty aside for the department store, the rent to own place, and the drugstore. I picked up my phone, called my boss and waited. Every ring in more anticipation than the next, waiting for the voicemail, when it did come on, I left a message:
"Hey, Steve, I'm not coming into work today, and I'm not sure if I ever am, but I'll let you know. If you can give me vacation, let me know, you have my number."
I hung up, put the phone down, put the music back on, and flew out of that parking lot as fast as those six-cylinders could take me. Driving down the main highway through town, its four-lanes of fury taking the lunch rush various locations all over town, in the buzz of consumerism and capitalism. I got past the sea of stoplights and cars, finally to the exit ramp, one more right turn and out of town I go. Hitting the thoroughfare, I had one thing on my mind, get as far away as I could. I rolled the window down, even though it was twenty degrees outside. I lost myself in a sea of music, wind and engine noise, and it couldn't be any better at this moment.