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The Virgin Club - Openings Now Available

Short story By: lobsterpotmayhem

Membership guarantees you a lifetime of disease-free, consequence-free sex with as many other members as you like, as often as you like. Care to join?

Submitted:Feb 29, 2012    Reads: 2,746    Comments: 6    Likes: 6   

'Are you sure it's perfectly safe?'

'Of course it's perfectly safe,' he smiled, unbuttoning his shirt and watching her slip her lace panties off over her high heels. 'That's the whole point of the Virgin Club. Hence our motto: "Safety first".'

She dropped the panties onto the tiny, silky pile of her other clothes, still frowning. 'Look, i know you explained it to me already at the restaurant, but... i was a little tipsy then, and... Could you just go over the main points again?'

He admired her main points, nicely perky and adorably pink, and decided it was no trouble to indulge her.

Plus, he liked laying out the logic. It was, after all, his own invention, his own brilliance.

'Well, as you know, there's many, many horrible diseases out there,' he began, careful to keep his voice from becoming sing-song, so the beauty of it didn't end up sounding like it was a sales pitch, something he'd recited too many times already. 'Venerealdiseases.'

She shuddered.

'Sex is the single most enjoyable thing that two - or more - adults can participate in... but, if you catch a venereal disease, that life of pleasure is all over for you.'

He watched her imagining her sex life being over, and the took off his shirt, flexing his pecs and giving his guns just the slightest pump.

'One in four people has herpes, for example. and two out of three of the Infected don't even realise they've got it. Their genitals are literally dripping with viruses that will happily take up residence in the warm, moist interior of anyone that they touch, and then...'

He unlatched his belt and pulled it out of its loops, for a split second holding it as though he was going to strap her with it; punish her, as though she were one of the Infected.

'...regular as clockwork, the newly infected person's genitals break out in ugly, weeping, painful sores. Over and over again, like the phases of the Moon. Then, all day long, no matter whether they're at work, on the beach, or at their mother's funeral, they have this uncontrollable urge to itch, itch, itch their privates raw...'

He noted the concerned way she looked down at her own privates, which were fresh as a just-opened fig and neat as a new sock.

'...And then, of course, once you've got herpes, no-one will ever want to have sex with you ever again.'

He unzipped his pants and dropped them, revealing his bulging boxers.

'Ever. Again.'

She ran a hand through her dark, wavy hair, still clearly a little tipsy from all that chardonnay. He could see her working it all out. He loved watching them working it all out.

'So... the motto thing,' she asked, her voice only the slightest bit slurry. 'I get how the idea is to have sex only with a virgin, and that since they're the first, you don't have to worry about... herpes...'

'Or syphilis, which rots your brain and drives you mad, or chlamydia, which destroys your ability to have children, or gonorrhea, which leaves you feeling like you're pissing razor blades, or AIDS, which just plain kills you...'

'Yeah, yeah,' she said, waving her hand at all that misery, trying to swat it away, 'but i'm not your first, and you're not my first, so...'

'So that,' he interrupted, taking her hands and lifting her to her feet, 'is where the Virgin Club comes in.'

He admired her openly, raising her hand above her head and slowly turning her, like the ballerina in a music box. She was truly gorgeous, and he couldn't wait to be joined with her, to feel that warm, healthy flesh moving against his...

'Everyone who is admitted into the Virgin Club,' he went on, leading her to the bed, 'has only ever had sex with one other virgin. Club rules strictly forbid sex with people outside the Club. So it's a closed loop! If there's no contact with the Infected, or even the Possibly Infected, there's absolutely no chance that any of those horrific diseases can get in, correct?'

She sat on the bed where he had led her, and looked up at him as he removed his boxers, his stiff cock coming pointedly into the room.

'So, this is perfectly safe, purely recreational sex,' she said, reciting - he was pleased to note - almost exactly what he'd said to her over the dessert course.

'Indeed,' he agreed, trying to sound like he wasn't giving her top marks on her test. 'Pure. Don't you just love that word?'

'But,' she asked, her brow again forming those same vertical lines he'd been trying since he'd paid the dinner bill to smooth away with his careful logic, 'how did you... find me?'

'You know about Facebook, of course?'

She lay back on the bed. He knelt between her legs which gracefully parted to allow him to draw closer.

As the word 'Facebook' sank in, he saw her breath catch. But he expected that. He was prepared for that.

'My relationship status? You... what? You tracked my status update? The one about Bobby?'

He gave a reassuring laugh - like he always did at this point in the interview - and he lowered himself gently onto her, his erection leaving a trail of slickness on her right thigh.

'I didn'ttrackyou, silly! A friend of a friend of one of your friends...recommendedyou as a potential member of the club. As founding president, it's my task to check out new members.'

He brushed his hand through her wine-crumpled hair in a way that could almost have been mistaken for love. But they were not doing this because of love. Or, at least, not the normal sort of love.

'I'd been with Bobby since High School,' she said, a little tearfully. 'We were high school sweethearts...'

'Yes, i know,' he smiled, kissing her perky nipples one by one. 'Seven years, just the two of you. And now, here you are.'

Here she was indeed! Her skin smelt like warm milk and she was completely blemish free. One owner, original condition.

'It's not often we get twenty-four year olds who've only been with one virgin, you know,' he congratulated her, licking playfully between her breasts. 'You're going to be very popular.'

She closed her eyes as he slid his fingers inside her. Her wetness pleased both of them equally.

'So does this mean i'm... in this club of yours?' she asked, her voice dropping half an octave and then rising again as his fingers found her hidden pleasure pads. Places Bobby had never located in all his seven years between her lips.

His breath hot in her ear as he drove her into uncontrollable squirms with his skillful fingering, he said, 'Just one or two more questions, and you're in.'

And, he thought to himself, so am i.

'Are you sure,' he asked in a husky whisper, his thumb playing on her clitoris, 'that Bobby never cheated on you?'

Her eyes were squeezed shut as he brought her closer and closer, and her jaw dropped open in the way that women's jaws always dropped open when he did... that... special...


'Oooooooooooooh, fuck! FUCK!' she moaned. 'No! No! He never cheated on me... He was so into sport, it was hard enough for him to spend time onme,' she said, 'Let alone any other girls... Yes... Do that...'

You poor, neglected child, he thought, calculating whether or not she would be OK with him inserting his thumb into her anus as he fucked her.

'Last question,' he breathed, feeling himself straining, ready to penetrate her. 'You've never cheated on Bobby, have you?'

She giggled. She blushed. He couldn't be sure if it was from embarrassment or from sexual arousal.

Then the blush spread from her cheeks to her entire body, and he knew that it wasn't from embarrassment.

'No, Mister Founding President, i've never cheated on Bobby.'

Naturally, this was only a formality. He'd had her and Bobby carefully checked out. She would never have made it to the dinner table if there'd been any doubt.

Now that she'd sealed the deal by her own pledge, she was officially a member of the Virgin Club.

His penis found her ripe vulva without a moment more's delay, and then he was inside her. The warm purity of her was like a blessing upon him. His cock feasted upon her...

'This is the first time...' she said, her voice dreamy, 'the first time i've had a naked cock inside me... Bobby always used condoms...'

He stopped his thrusting as though someone had slammed a door on his erection. Always used condoms? What did Bobby have to hide?

'Why would he do that?' he asked, careful not to hiss.

'Oh,' she said, reaching up and touching his cheek, not recognising the hesitation as potential revulsion. 'He just liked it to be tidy that way. He didn't like me leaking, he used to say.'

That made sense. Yes, that made very good sense!

So here was a double bonus: not only twenty-four and only been with one man, but twenty-four and never felt naked cock before!

What a find!

'Just so long as neither of you ever cheated,' he said, and he began thrusting into her with a renewed passion. Imagine, never to have felt the pure friction of skin on mucous membrane...

'Hang on,' she said suddenly, as though just remembering something. 'There was one time...'

He froze. He could literally feel his balls drawing up inside himself. What was this? What dark secret had escaped him and his investigative team? A fling with a stranger in a bus station? A blow job given to someone at a night club? Some filthy hobo who may have been carrying christ knows what pestilence? Or maybe she had it off with an intravenous drug user...

'Do girls count?' he asked, her voice quivering.

'It depends. What, exactly did you do with this girl?'

Girls were worst of all for harbouring diseases and not realising it. If there'd been any oral, his veins could be filling with herpes right now, even as her deceptive warmth wrapped around him...

'We just... kissed. On the mouth. It was a Uni thing. You know, experimentation...'

He could feel his balls re-descending.

'You've never had any Cold Sores?'

She shook her head, sheepish.

'Then i think that's fine,' he said, and once again her interior was a delightful place to be.

He pumped into her so hard, imagining her lesbian '"phase", kept secret from condom-wrapped Bobby, that he expected she would find foam, as well as his juices when she wiped herself for the first time ever...

Delicious now, but, he thought to himself as he jetted his hot semen into her, how awful those few moments had felt, those terrible moments when he'd thought it could have all been over for him.

Thank goodness for the Virgin Club!

Keeping him safe from all those nasty venereal transmissions.


He didn't see her for another two months. She was still as gorgeous as she'd been that time of her audition. In fact, she was now even more gorgeous, if that were possible. She seemed to glow.

Curious, though. He'd expect her to be that full of life if she'd been taking part in all the freely available purely recreational sex that the Club offered, but he knew, from the Club's immaculately kept records, that she'd not been with anyone else since that afternoon with him.

He hoped she wasn't crushing on him. The only thing as bad as a venereal disease for cramping your sex life was a relationship.

She sat at the table opposite him and smiled a charming smile at the waiter as he took her order for a macchiato. He ordered his usual fair trade organic decaf latte and the waiter began to leave when, of a sudden, she called him back and changed her order to an orange juice. He took the opportunity as she turned to get the waiter's attention, exposing her long, supple legs from beneath the table, to drink in her exquisite beauty.

'So,' he began, hopefully. 'What would you like to talk about?'

He smiled, and expected her to laugh. Surely she wanted to ask him to once again play his magic fingers and talented cock over and inside her...

'That time,' she said.

'Yes,' he agreed, sure now.

'I caught something from you.'

He blanched. Not because what she was saying was possible - it wasn't - but because it meant that she had developed some symptoms that had been previously hidden, and that meant that he, too, now was carrying something! But what? Surely not any of the obvious diseases... So what? Trichomoniasis? Hepatitis B? HPV?

The bitch! What the hell had she done to him?

'There is no way...' he said in a slow and steady voice, one that threatened to leap to a shout, 'No way whatsoever that you've "caught" anything...anything... from me.'

'Well, yes. I have. I've had it checked by a doctor, and i have a sexually transmitted condition, and i got it from you.'

Lies! Damned lies!

Confront the whore! Yes, catch her in her lies! Whatever it is, have her name it, and then his own medical records, kept with the attention to detail of a Swiss accountant, would disprove it.

'What then,' he asked. 'What. Then.'

She smiled. 'I'm pregnant.'


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