Neithard Horn > The Truth About Mermaids
>The Truth About Mermaids<
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Classa Minor > Magic Physics > The House of Water > Mermaids
Accepted, approved, and highly recommended
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The Dean of the Faculty for Magic Physics
The University Of AtlantaCaldera
The Truth About Mermaids
An Ultimative Guide, illustrated with 36 drawings by the Author
Kapa'a, Kaua'i, Summer 2008
About the Author
>The Science of Magic Physics is a Province in the Empire of Fantasy where by sheer
human will-power, patience, and systematic training fantasy becomes reality, which is
called Magic. This is valid for everything humans ever dreamed up and made real,
including rockets, computers, religions, arts, and Mermaids.<
Because: How could an artist - being a Scientist of Magic - paint Mermaids if they were
not real? Or do Mermaids become real only because an artist dreams them up and
Some people say the artist created this chaotic work only because he needed something
to entertain himself with during a long hot summer and nothing else came into his
addled mind. And they are right.
Others say he created it as a cheap justification to draw nude women which he loves to
do very much, as it is well known. And they are right, too.
Again others say, he draws nude women only to provoke women who have a hang-up
about their bodies and deny it. And they are right, too.
So please enjoy it and remember: For an artist there is no Taboo and nothing is sacred to
him except truth and honesty, as shown as one example in this major work.
The Truth About Mermaids
The Elemental Houses of Air, Fire, Water, and Stone are inhabited by Elemental Beings
typical and unique for the House. Mermaids are the Elemental Beings of the House of
Water, not to be confused with Fishwaifs, who are actually Deva of Fish, only for one
example. Deva are crystallized Energy of Biological Life; they are attached to individual
living animals - when the animal dies, the Deva de-crystallizes.
Mermaids are not attached to biological life forms, and they have no Energy of
Biological Life, although to the Scientist they appear as solid beings, as is shown by the
faithful renderings in this work, and they interact with the Scientist like sentient
individuals - if pretty limited. They exist out of themselves, that is why they are called
elemental, and that is why they are considered nearly eternal - they can't die and they
can't be killed.
Footnote: Walt Disney's main figure of his movie "The Little Mermaid" in spite of the
title is a Fishwaif and she behaves just as silly as Fishwaifs do, but you would never
catch a Mermaid singing and dancing like that.
Hans Christian Andersen's protagonist is a very humanized Mermaid, about as real in
the Mermaid-world as Mickey Mouse in the human world would be; and here must be
said: What is generally known about Mermaids are the legends humans tell each other
about Mermaids - in the InterNet and otherwise - but not the legends the Mermaids tell
Mermaids came into being when water was created by the interaction of Space, Matter,
and Energy during the progress of Time - and that means they are much older than
Biological Life on Planet Earth and thus much older than those silly Fishwaifs, or any
other Devi or Deva, for that matter. They are Magical Beings like Dragons, or the
Phoenix or the HellHound, or the Little Folk, but not Spiritual Beings like Gods, or
Angels, or the Ancestors.
One Legend tells:
Mermaids are born when rain hits a body of water. When the rain hits saltwater, the
true Mermaids are born, when the rain hits a lake or a river Nixen (FreshWater-
Mermaids) are born.
The difference is: Nixen are smaller, seldom more than 2 meters, and the end of their
body is formed like a snake with a long and narrow fluke, which sometimes is serrated
that it appears to be three to five separate flukes. True, or Blue Water Mermaids are
much bigger - 8 meters have been repeatedly reported - and the end of their body
resembles more the aft end of a dolphin, except that Mermaids have a dorsal fin closer
to the end of their bodies than the dolphins. Or whales, for that matter.
Both races are pretty vicious and they hate humans - for reasons that will be explained
later, and about the manifestation of a third race of Mermaids, called Sirenas, we'll also
Some Scientists reject the idea, that Mermaids are born in the rain, because that would
cause over-population, considering since how long a time rain is afalling on the Planet.
They claim that Mermaids came into being with the creation of the Elemental House of
Water, and thus they are just as old as water, and along this line of thought they
conclude: As long water exists Mermaids exist - and that would mean they are just as
eternal as water can be. Naturally, when a lake dries up or a river runs dry the Nixen of
that lake or river evaporate, too.
But the Scientists can't explain, how come that when a lake fills up or a river starts
flowing again, the lake or river is instantly occupied by a healthy population of Nixen,
long before fish and other life forms adapted to life in water with their respective Devi
or Deva re-populate the area.
And the last news from the scientific front assures us that the density of a population of
Mermaids is a good indicator for the state of water-pollution; but science can't tell yet
whether pollution kills Mermaids or just forces them to ex-migrate to cleaner waters.
The Science of Magic Physics is a province in the empire of fantasy where by sheer
human will-power, patience and systematic training fantasy becomes reality, which is
called Magic. This is valid for everything humans ever dreamed up and made real,
including rockets, computers, religions, arts, and Mermaids.
There is even a theory that without humans the Universe of Magic would not exist - in
short: All manifestations of Magic, ergo Mermaids, too, are an entirely human mind-
construct, made real on the material plane by acts performed in public or in secret, like
elaborate rituals, prolonged meditations, rigorous exercises, and the like.
Neithard Horn > The Truth About Mermaids 5
To the Scientist the magic world is as real as the non-magic world - commonly called
reality - is real to the non-Scientist, and the Scientist feels a profound and helpless
sorrow for the one-eyed non-Scientist, because - only as one example - they can't see
and interact with Mermaids, something, they claim, comes as close to the Cosmic
Orgasm as you can get.
The Scientists have a long tradition of indoctrination, teaching and technologies which
in the process of time became more refined, which in turn made the results of the
teachings more predictable and precise - so when you succeed to enter the House of
Water you're bound to see Mermaids, no matter what ...
... because they are there! as the Scientist claims -
... because you are told they are there! as the non-Scientist maintains.
The non-Scientist jumps in the ocean and enjoys himself - God bless him - but sorry to
say: No Mermaids! except maybe in the overheated fantasy of his stoned mind, and in
most events he imagines something he has never seen but only heard about, more often
wrong than right. (See Walt Disney's so-called Little Mermaid).
The Scientist, on the other hand, after long years of rigorous training prepares himself
by carefully applying the teachings and enters the House of Water, and there they are:
Mermaids all around you, more than you care to handle, and every single one more
than eager to kill you.
All Elemental Beings try to gain power over the visitor of their House by different
means but for the same reasons. Mermaids openly threaten to kill him; Airmaids - of a
different anatomy - try to make him grab for their openly displayed sexual charms thus
to enslave him; and those of the House of Stone offer him the most intricate jewels for
the taking. And them sweeties, to make it more attractive for you to grab, drape the
precious treasures on their bodies in the most erotical manner and you may have it,
even take it home - as they seemingly sincere promise - as long as you can pluck the treasures
off their bodies without touching their skin. If you do you are lost and once you are
caught in one of the Elemental Houses, there is no way back to your beloved ones in the
every day reality. They, as non-Scientists, park your body in an asylum for the insane
and forget about you.
The serious Scientist naturally is far beyond those cheap trinkets. He seeks deeper truths
and higher pleasures, and at the time of print nothing was known about the behavior of
the Elemental Beings of the House of Fire.
So naturally the teachings and technologies differ for the different Houses, but all of
them agree on the one and most important rule: Never, ever speak to an Elemental
Being first! Never, ever reach out for them first! Never, ever answer any question until
they ask you what you want of them. Then in clear and simple words (remember:
Mermaids are - well, not stupid, but very simple and single minded) state your wishes
and they have to obey within their limited means and capabilities, and everything
should go well for you until you want to return to the non-scientific reality.
And all Scientists agree that the more often you visit the House the better the Mermaids
get acquainted to you, still eager to kill you but equally eager to please you, in which
schizophrenic state of the Mermaid-mind the Scientist wields his power in the famous
By the way: Once you mastered the entrance to your own House you'll find it easier to
enter the other Houses and interact with the inhabitants - but it is never a piece of cake.)
Some doubtful minds say that possibly there are only reports about Mermaids because
all the Scientists of Magic are male. They say that if a woman could be trained (see
footnote) in the Science of choosing a House, opening the Gate and entering the House
to communicate with the Beings therein, she would probably meet only Merboys - in her
case beautiful juvenile males with a wild sex-drive and totally impotent ... as must be
said about the Mermaids, too: a wild sex-drive but no genital split to speak of, and they
can't spread their legs, anyway. And that is the reason for their viciousness and why
they hate humans: they are envious about human sex-life which they imagine much
more elaborate than it usually is.
Footnote: The reason why women can't be trained in the Science is that they strictly
refuse to be trained. Most of them consider the Science of Magic Physics a "stupid male
game", impossible to compare to true Witch-Craft. And the rest of them are "too busy
running our society".
That opens the following question: Since Mermaids have no memory because they are
elemental, how come they know about human sex life and are able to be envious,
jealous, hate and hold a grudge, which without memory is impossible?
The newest enlightenment about this matter is that the Mermaids are able to pick up the
mental images of the visiting (male) Scientist - and then they know what's going on in
his typical male mind, (according to self-appointed human psychologists he thinks
every 10 seconds about sex and he constantly dreams about having his way with the
most beautiful women - the more the better) and the sexually colored mental images of
the Scientist seem to push a heavy button in the simplistic mind of the Mermaids
triggering off hate with helpless raging jealousy.
But as long as the Scientist applies his science correctly and disciplines his mind with it's
mental images the Mermaids can't do anything against his wishes. Wishes are no more
than mental images, the Scientists explain, so be careful what you wish for, they advise,
and they keep stressing the point of mental discipline.
And here is another fact that is little known, even denied, in the non-scientific reality:
Shamana and Kahuna use the powers of the Elemental Beings of all four Houses for
their healing activi-ties, although they have a different explanation for their successes
than the Scientists have.
When interviewed the healers told without ex-ception, that they go into the underworld
to free the captured parts of the spirit of the patient from the terrifying malevolent
demons dwelling therein. (It is easy to replace underworld with Elemental House, and
demon with Elemental Being which are terrifying and malevolent, indeed, especially the
Mermaids, and the meaning is clear.)
However, some Scientists are convinced that Elemental Beings can't contact the human
world through their side of The-Veil-That-Separates-The-Universes - which they want
you to understand like a one-way-mirror: Humans can step through (when they enter
one of the Houses) and Mermaids (and all other Elemental Beings) can't - at least that is
what the theory is, (and were there is a theory there is no firm knowledge.) Thus they
claim, based on their theory: Elemental Beings can't step through The Veil and steal
parts of a human spirit and thus make him sick!
On the other hand, the scientific community isn't really interested in the explanation
why a person becomes sick and how he becomes healthy again. If a healer's explanation
works for him: ok, nothing wrong with it ... and it must be said that the healers have an
amazing rate of success.
But be that as it may, the scientific facts are: (The following description refers to the
Mermaids, but is likewise true for the Beings of the other Houses).
The healer grabs the wounded spirit of the patient and enters the House of his
inclination and choosing. Furiously weaving sacred pattern through the water with his
spirit-dagger to protect his patient, he confronts the patient with the awesome powers of
the Mermaids, which triggers in the patient's troubled Mind-Soul an intense feeling of
elation and relief. The patient experiences face to face the Powers-Greater-Me and
submits completely unto them. He feels totally helpless and out of control of things and
events - which is the healing process in itself, plain and simple, because trying to be in
all-powerful control of all things at all times made him sick in the first place.
Even in the non-scientific reality the healing powers of swimming with whales and
dolphins are well known and widely used for therapeutic reasons, especially with
children. But it is little known or accepted, that it is not the healing powers of the whales
or the dolphins, that does the miracle, but the healing powers of the Mermaids who love
to fool around among the pods.
Shamana, Kahuna and other spiritual healers who chose the House of Water as their
battle field keep repeating that the Gate of Water opens only below 1000 meters under
the surface of the ocean, but even there it is small and difficult to find, which means: the
deeper you go, the easier it is to find and to open the Gate. And that again means:
Petting a dolphin in a marine park or viewing it through a acrylic glass-dome might be
interesting and educational fun, but has no healing value to speak of because there are
no Mermaids around. Even contacting so-called wild dolphins in shallow waters is
pretty pointless because again: No Mermaids around.
But when you jump overboard and swim with them in deep blue water - at least 3000
feet straight down to the bottom, than it is a completely different matter: The feelings of
elation and release of clogged-up negative emotional energies (which made you sick in
the first place) are sometimes - very often - so intense that people are moved to tears.
And now imagine you swim with Mermaids, face to face and side by side as you would
with a dolphin ... and the healing powers are ten- and a hundredfold compared to those
induced by a pod of dolphins or even a mother Humpback with her baby in the midst of
The history of the interaction of Mermaids and humans is based on the reports of
humans interacting with Mermaids, because, as said before, Mermaids have no
memory, ergo they don't have a history. And in the case of the Mermaids not the winner
writes the history, but the loser, because nearly every human is the loser should he meet
a Mermaid unprepared, although there are reports of humans - normal non-Scientists! -
catching a glimpse of a Mermaid, and who lived to talk about it.
The most recent report tells about a "gigantic" (educated guess: About 8 meters.)
"Mermaid rising halfway out of the water like a breaching whale, two or three waves
away towards the horizon. She was gray of color and looked so sternly at me that I
made myself very small, and averted her eyes, and slowly moved backward away from
her to the shore."
When asked about more details concerning the Mermaid's looks, the (male) person did
not mention especially wellformed breasts, or sweeping hips, or a dream of a hair-do, or
anything of that sort. He just repeated the gray color and the stern look in her eyes and
him creeping away like a scolded puppy. Nor did he mention that the Mermaid covered
her breasts - especially her nipples - with her hair-do, or awkwardly positioned arms, or
had glued some silly flowers over them, like the mis-informed layman is made to be-
lieve by all those paintings by (non-scientific) artists who have a hang-up about the
womanly body but still want to paint a Mermaid.
From the VeryBeginning humans attached to water like sailors or fishermen reported
meeting with Mermaids, which in most cases ended with the unseemly early death of
the human. The ones that survived the meeting returned safely if somewhat shaken to
the ordinary reality. The spiritually advanced among them talked story (maybe
exaggerated), trained apprentices, and wrote thick books about Mermaids (like this one)
and laid the first stepping stones of the Science of Magic. which by now is well
advanced and quite safe, although not for the feeble minded.
The reports of the Scientists about the viciousness and hate of the Mermaids motivated
early professional story-tellers to invent the following legend:
Mermaids do not hate the human men when they kill them, but the human women, be-
cause they can spread their legs for the pleasure of men. Mermaids kill the men only be-
cause they are more readily available being sailors or fishermen, but mainly because
they want to make the human women feel sorry.
So this whole Mermaid-issue might well be no more than the sexually overloaded
projection of horny but sadly frustrated men in general and Scientists in particular,
which is the point of view of the Guardians-Of-The-Right in the City of AtlantaCaldera.
(Some men call them IronMaiden and whisper they're either lesbian or frigid).
The Scientists oppose this point of view as the sexually overloaded projection of horny
but sadly frustrated women in general and the IronMaiden in particular, and when the
dispute threatened to disturb the Peace-Of-The-City, the matter was brought to
LilithYggdrasil. According to the records she said: "I wonder whether Carl Jung put the
Mermaids among his archetypes. If not, we need to find someone who channels that
idea to him."
The records say nothing about her opinion on what the Ur-Mermaid archetypically
stands for, and since Carl Jung's archives are inaccessible to the Scientists they had to
dream up their own explanation about what an archetype is and what a Mermaid does
in there. After years of profound deliberation they declared:
(The following text is encrypted and open only to serious scholars because this work is intended for
family entertainment. Transcript see Appendix)
Transcript of the encrypted text on pages 13/14
Archetypically the Mermaid stands for the human woman who does not want to, or is
not able to (for reasons that are buried in her mind) spread her legs for the sexual
pleasure of a man, no matter what. A woman inflicted with this disease also denies that
she herself denies her own body the sexual pleasure induced by the full sexual contact
with a man. The only way she is willing and able to satisfy a man is with her mouth,
with her hands, and between her breasts; and she herself does not want to - cannot - be
satisfied by full genital contact with a man.
(For the reasons and motives of "does not want to", "is not able to", and "cannot" see
the works of psychologist, behaviorists, sociologists, and sexologists in your
Since Mermaids are dream-ups of sexually frustrated men (sailors on long journeys on
male-overcrowded ships) they point clearly to the homosexual practices of the men who
dreamed them up - but the feminine upper body with the breasts point to the open or
hidden desire for the sexual company of a woman.
The Mermaid frustrates both: the hetero- and the homosexual man because with her is
neither genital contact (for the hetero) nor anal contact (for the homo) possible - and
since sexually frustrated men are vicious and in constant killing mode, they gave the
Mermaids the same characteristics.
This Is Our Opinion, Amen.
... and then follows a long ladder of not readable signatures and stamps in all
According to the Scientists the Mermaids have nearly no social life to speak of. There
are some reports that they hunt fish in packs, but not for food (since they have no bio-
logical body to feed) but for the pure fun of it. (But the Scientists assure us that Mer-
maids in no way are sadistic, they say it is just their nature.) To be precise: Mermaids
don't hunt fish, but the Deva of fish or Fishwaifs, and the terrified Deva forces it's bio-
logical life form into erratic behavior like madly zigzagging or swimming in hectic cir-
cles for no obvious reason at all, as can sometimes be observed. This hunting in packs
seems to be more accidental than intended and organized, because they hunt just as well
and successfully solitary. And the Scientists assure us that Mermaids never harass ma-
rine mammals. (Which makes them a little bit more sympathetic.)
It is also told that a mob of Mermaids hassle a shark until she pleas for mercy and in
return she has to promise to kill the next available human being - male or female, it
doesn't really matter - and suddenly we have a so-called killer shark on the prowl out
there, which is no more than the terrified Devi of a black tipped reef shark who knows
that the Mermaids will hunt her down and punish her beyond endurance all her long
life until she fulfills her promise.
One Scientist reports of Mermaids playing "WashingMachine", as he roughly translates
the name of the game. He tells of hundreds of well built Mermaids in a long row
pressing their backs against the water while vigorously agitating their flukes until the
water in their backs builds up to a tremendous wave. When they can't hold the wave
anymore it tumbles over, rolling the Mermaids in roaring white water foam.
Conjectures of the observing Scientist made it nearly almost more than certain, that the
story of some sailors in a little ship about a gigantic MonsterWave or KillerWave
(FreakWave wasn't a strong enough word to describe it!) is true because time and place
are too close-ly related as to be accidental. The sailors told when they saw the wave
building up behind them "like the Himalayas" they scrambled arse over kettle below
decks and sealed every opening while furiously praying, and "suddenly the ship
dropped about 60 feet straight down because there was no water anymore under her
keel - it was all up there, overhanging like the *** breasts of those *** Mermaids, and
then came the fast gear of an industrial washing machine for extra dirty rags, and we
were lucky that the masts snap-ped off above decks and were taken clear off the hull,
including spars, sails, and every inch of standing and running gear. And we wedged
our bodies into the angles between keel and ribs and we got rolled over and over,and through our observation domes and
port holes we saw only white foam, with no direction up or down or bow or stern, and
in there - we swear to OurGod, our Ancestors and our GrandChildren - there was a
bunch of them *** Mermaids having the greatest time of their *** lives."
Around-The-World-Races have also been reported, but they are slightly different than
human races, because nobody is trying to be first. Every Mermaid tries to stay in line as
best as her enthusiasm allows. No human knows where the race started, that means: At
which point exactly the two groups of approximately 2000 Mermaids each set out in
opposite directions around the Planet. Obviously the goal of the race is to find out where
the two groups crash into each other, wreaking havoc.
It generally assumed that the race course was staked out by the Empress of the Elemen-
tal House of Water around the frozen Southern continent because it is relatively free of
obstacles, excepting icebergs and flows, and the occasional shipwreck. Some sailors say
the finish-line is at Cape Hoorn, but others disagree and say that at Cape Hoorn it is the
Daughters of Air that make life difficult for the prudent sailor, but the true finish-line of
the Mermaid-Around-The-World-Race is slightly NorthEast of the South point of Africa,
where the currents of the southern Atlantic and the Indian Ocean meet.
Sometimes, in their more vicious moods the Mermaids succeed in waking up their
cousins in the Houses of Fire and Stone, and them naïve dearies place a smart kick
against the next continental plate, and here it comes: A mega-tsunami with a thousand
joyfully screaming Mermaids (one Scientists compared it to a bunch of hysterical kids on
a merry-go-round) riding in, in their bliss not aware of the human life and property they
plow under - and if they were aware they couldn't care less.
The Mermaids themselves consider the tsunami-game as much more satisfying than the
tropical-cyclone-game, where they are more or less the passive toys of their cousins of
the House of Air. But when they meet a ship they become very active, indeed, and do
their best to tip that stupid little thing over.
According to the Dogma of the Church of AboraMana, written down in the Chapter
Magic Physics, the Elemental Houses are ruled by Empresses. As her title suggests the
Empress of Water rules the House of Water - but does that mean Her Majesty is
responsible for the erratic behavior and doings of the Mermaids?
Audiences sought after by a delegation of the most senior Scientists to clarify the matter
are (until now) strictly refused because - as the Mermaids, who obviously acted as Her
Majesty's body guards, very reluctantly told the Scientists:
"She's somewhere out there, surfing", and they refused to define the precise location of
Her Majesty's favorite surfing spot.
It is well known that Her Majesty's residency is somewhere in the Pacific Ocean,
somewhere around the Hawai'ian Islands. This somewhere is pretty big out there, so the
exact wave she's surfing is hard to find, even for the best of the Scientists. And it is also
known that this area is literally packed with Mermaids - some Scientists already speak
of a Mermaid-pest, and call for better Mermaid-control. So obviously the more he homes
in on the Empress the more obnoxious Mermaids hassle the Scientist.
Thus the question remains open: Are the Mermaids the daughters of the Empress ergo
princesses, or are they Her people ergo commoners, or are they Her servants, body-
guards, or slaves, which would be an entirely human concept-of-society, as those
maintain who oppose this whole idea and hold that the Mermaids are the Daughters of
the Empress, notwithstanding the Scripture where it says: "The Empress of Water has
four Daughters: Spring, River, Lake, and the special one: Rain." But not one word about
Mermaids, not even Nixen (freshwater-Mermaids of springs, rivers, lakes) are
mentioned. But the Scriptures also declare Music as a Daughter of Water, which is a nice
esoteric touch but without any value in serious Mermaid-research.
And here is the place to state a fact that is not disputed anymore, but lingers as a
superstition in the minds of the un-educated:
Mermaids never, ever touch terra firma, period. All those pretty pictures showing a
Mermaid erotically draped over a rock or in the sand of a beach with a nicely done
background of a peaceful ocean are scientifically not correct because they mix up the
two races: Nixen do drape themselves erotically over rocks and in sand, that has
been repeatedly observed, but they never touch saltwater, so the skillfully painted ocean
is out of place. And you wouldn't catch a (saltwater)-Mermaid dead lolling on a rock or
in the sand of a beach like a minor life form, like a monk seal, or a human, for example.
They might hang out there over the reef, heads down, teasing Fishwaifs or those cute
little coral-thingies, or dream away in a hidden seawater cave about having two legs,
but this is as far as they come to the solid matter of the Planet.
(Saltwater)-Mermaids do pose erotically free floating in water, that is also well known.
But whether they pose erotically free floating in water to follow their own agenda
concerning humans as Nixen do, or whether they free float in erotical poses in water
because they have nothing else to do the Scientists haven't figured out yet, but they are
working on it, as they keep assuring the public when they need new funds.
There is another thing to be known about Nixen, and the NixenFreaks, as nutty as they
might be about their chosen subject of study, sincerely recommend that their advice is
heeded by the non-Scientist who is determined to swim in Nixen-infested bodies of
water: Nixen in secluded brooks and creeks, cascades and waterfalls, hidden ponds and
waterholes are especially vicious because of their restricted habitat. They are solitary
beings and usually drape themselves erotically on a rock or in sand (above water or
below, it doesn't matter) and dream about having two legs. So don't jump in the water
but glide in as a Nixen would do, and no screaming and shouting if you value your
mental balance. Otherwise you wake her up and, rudely interrupted in a dream about
spreading her legs she is twice as vicious as usual. And then! when she sees! that you
are one of those insignificant life forms that can spread her legs not only in a dream but
in reality - well, nobody ever came back to tell the story about what happened, not even
the most knowledgable NixenScientists have a clue.
If you are lucky you catch a glimpse of her in the corner of your eyes, like through
shimmering air, because she gets so hot by her rage. Consider this as your last warning.
Before she becomes so hot that she is pushed through the Veil, and then: See above. So
grab your things and split as quietly and quickly as you can, and DON'T COME BACK!
Some time ago the scientific community exploded with a disagreement that shook it's
very foundations. Old World Scientists stubbornly maintained that the Sirenas (saltwa-
ter-Mermaids that populate the Mediterranean Sea somewhere in Europe) are a third
race of Mermaids besides Nixen and (deepwater)-Mermaids. Their mainstay of argu-
ment was: They are repeatedly reported to sing very loud and sweet to lure trusting
sailors into their spheres of influence with the obvious intend - being Mermaids - to kill
them. And since neither Nixen nor Mermaids sing, it follows that the Sirenas are a
different race, indeed. And they are smaller than the bluewater Mermaids, lighter of
color, fool around much closer to the shores of the Greek, Spanish, Italian, Turkish, etc,
coasts and islands, and are never seen beyond GibrAltaris, and they sing, and they seem
to co-operate in pairs and small groups to achieve their goal of killing humans, as it is
known of Scylla and Charybdis, as the Scientist Homer recorded ... thus ... so it was de-
cided that there are Mermaids and Sirenas and Nixen, and the peace of the community
(Part of the problem was that some Scientists mixed up the singing of the Sirenas with
the singing of the Humpback whales. How that mix-up came into his mind the Scientist
could explain when he was interviewed for this work.)
The anatomy of the lower body of the Mermaids baffled the Scientists from the very
beginning because they had nothing to compare it with. (This is the so-called
PlatypusEffect where nothing at all fits nothing at all.) But they soon found that halfway
in between the (generally well formed) hips and the fluke there is something they call a
rudimentary knee joint. The two upper thigh bones are fused at this point and become
one bone thereafter to the fluke, but the joints were the legs meet the hips stayed as
flexible as the human hip joints. The bones of the legs became flexible, the knee joint
stiffened with sinew and cartilage and at the same time became flexible in the all
directions, the muscles of the upper inner thigh merged, the feet and toes flattened to
flukes, so the Mermaids now have a uni-fused, within limits flexible and twistable lower
body from the hips to the fluke, which is common to all three races.
Footnote: Naïve artists still paint Mermaids with a distinct, sharply bent knee joint
which makes very erotical poses possible, but is anatomically not correct and is severely
reprimanded by the Scientists. (See illustration.)
Nixen move their aft ends (see footnote) in a soft undulating motion like a water-
serpent, but vertical. Mermaids and Sirenas propel themselves in short whipping
motions like a dolphin, for example (the down-stroke is the power-stroke). They can cut
corners left or right or up or down at speeds that still are the envy of every marine
engineer, they are very fuel-efficient, (nobody knows were they draw their boundless
energy from) and they are noiseless. (That is the true reason why the military-industrial
complex puts so much effort into Mermaid-research - under the cover of one or the
other Sonar Defense Improvement Activity (SDIA).
Footnote: Biologists discovered early that the aft end of whales and dolphins (and all the
other marine mammals) are altered and adapted tails. But both, Mermaids and whales
and dolphins share Mother AboraMana's invention of the fluke.
The habitat of all three races of Mermaids is well charted, especially in the Old World
since they have had more time to develop Mermaid-research - and they being the better
teller of stories, as their colleagues from over the pond at every convention do not tire to
point out, no matter how hard the Old World Scientists stress that the Brothers Grimm
never have been Scientists but only collectors of stories. A third group of antagonists
points out that all the stories about humans encountering water dwelling beings reflect
the scientific education of the original story tellers, thus the Brothers Grimm passed on
something they clearly did not understand.
Nixen-sightings and un-explainable accidents and disappearances of children are repor-
ted in central Germany and the British Isles since long before Christian times but the
chart of reliable and confirmed Mermaid- and Nixen-sightings in the New World still
bears a lot of - according to the Scientists too many - white spots. More Nixen-research
needs to be done in those areas, but finding solid government funding is difficult
because all the money is secretly funneled into the Mermaid-research of the military-
True Mermaids populate every saltwater body of the Planet - as said before: The
densest populated area is the ocean around the Hawai'ian Islands. But the Atlantic
Ocean is pretty populated, too, especially around the Canary Islands and the Azores.
Nothing is known yet about a permanent Mermaid-population in the waters around the
Antarctic continent. The temperature of the ocean obviously doesn't matter to the
Mermaids as much as to the Scientists. We have reliable reports of Mermaids hanging
over a tropical reef harassing Fishwaifs, and we have equally reliable reports of
Mermaids draping themselves erotically over icebergs around Greenland and Alaska.
When the first report of this phenomenon came in, it was laughed upon by the whole
scientific community as a hoax, like sewing the torso of a woman to the tail of - say - a
parrot fish and sell it as "Mermaid". But then cross-disciplinary information exchange
established without doubt that some icebergs and floes are frozen salt water and thus
very well suited to serve as a prop for the erotical poses of a Mermaid - (to the great
relief of the painting artist who had regained his artistic freedom: If he wanted to paint a
Mermaid posed erotically on a solid prop without infringing the scientific truth he just
had to change the rock into a floe.)
And here is something else that seems to be important: The so-called LochNess-
Monster is definitely not a Nixen, how close the resemblance might be and no matter
how hard the NixenScientists laugh when the paleontologists declare the monster a lost
and lonely water dwelling and very evasive dinosaur.
"No, the Monster is a Nixen!", they maintain with the foolish pride which is known in
the community to be the hallmark of the NixenFreaks. But they can't explain, why - for
the first time - it has been possible to photograph it, although it is an established fact that
neither Mermaids, nor Nixen, nor Sirenas, can be photographed, not even digitally. And
binoculars, even when they are fitted out with low-light-enhancement, are equally
inadequate to let the image of a Mermaid pass through the lenses, prisms, and
microchips into the human eye. And no spy-satellite, no matter how secret and
advanced, has ever been able to pick up the signature of a Mermaid, which pisses the
military-industrial complex very much, indeed, because they keep sinking zilliones of
dollares in Mermaid-research without strategically, tactically, and not even - in the long
run - civilly usable results.
So the fight goes on between: Is it a Nixen? Is it a leftover dinosaur? Is it a hoax? Is it an
optical illusion created by too much whiskey? (which makes sense, the LochNess being
situated in Scotland).
But this unsolved argument is nothing of importance compared to more pressing
matters like keeping Mermaids out of the turbines of hydro-electric power plants.
It is generally accepted that the DeadSea is void of Mermaids of whatever race. The
reasons for that fact are still not known. Some say the Mermaids died out when the
formerly very deep lake started to dry out and became too salty, others say it is too
small to sustain a healthy Mermaid-population; and it is completely cut off from any
other body of saltwater which makes migration impossible. And those Scientists with a
strong religious inclination maintain that since God smote Sodom and Gomorrah
because them guys tried to rape the Mermaids at that time living in the now dead sea,
which was not approved by the HigherPowers. And with the wipe-out of Sodom and
Gomorrah, as acceptable collateral damage, the Mermaids where wiped out, too. (Which
turned a lot of Scientists into atheists.)
The serious Mermaid watcher also should keep the following fact in his mind before he
sets out searching for a good spot to watch Mermaids from: All three races need at least
two thirds (better three quarters) of their natural habitat to be unobstructed by Human
Improvements Of God's Creation and the offal they produce while improving. For that
reason Mermaids never travel through the Suez- or Panama-Canal, or any other artificial
waterway; and Nixen are never found in canals or dams.
It remains to be said that the biggest Mermaids can be spotted somewhere in the ocean
around the aforementioned Hawai'ian Islands where they love to play hide and seek
amongst a pod of whales or dolphins, and for the untrained eye they are not easy to tell
apart because of the likeness of their flukes.
The best place to look out for Mermaids - especially for the non-Scientist - are still the
NE-facing beaches of the islands, when the trade winds are lazy and there are no white-
caps out there over the reef, but a big slow swell coming in. Rocky promontories serve
Neithard Horn > The Truth About Mermaids 22
quite well as lookout provided they are not too high; the high cliffs are pretty useless
because Mermaids are nearly translucent and they can change colors faster than a
chameleon. But because the color change is slowest at the fluke, this is what you have to
look out for and that is what you see best at low elevation.
So what you need to do is to hang loose at a beach you like and be aware of the play and
the sound of the ocean: The shore break on the sand, a bit further out before they break,
that's where the little Mermaids hang out; observe also the waves wandering in slow
procession across the lagoon; and the white break of the swell along the reef (this is
where the big ones amuse themselves harassing Fishwaifs and those cute little coral
thingies. They hang head down over the reef and in the excitement of the game they
sometimes forget to hide their flukes); and don't forget to observe further out to the
horizon the swell coming in, from here to Alaska coupla 1000 miles with nothing in
between except ocean and clouds.
This is the area you need to observe without paying attention to it. You just scan the
surface of the water out of the corners of your eyes. There is no need to discourage you
but this takes practice and patience, but be assured: They are out there! You might think
it is a wave a little darker because it is a little higher than the others, but what you think
is not what you see. What you see is a fluke and what you think is the reef break is just
the white aft ends of the flukes of Mermaids hanging head down over the reef hassling
Fishwaifs and those cute little coral thingies.
In the religious life of humans Mermaids play only a minor role. Excepting naturally
the Scientists, and among them most especially the MermaidFreaks. They went so far in
their religious zeal that LilithYggdrasil saw herself forced to publish a
CommuniqueExCathedra about "the spiritual diarrhea you spill all over the City, and I
am not prepared to clean up after you!" Signed and stamped LilithYggdrasil. (With the
purple ink of her office.)
The issue was the question whether the Mermaids developed into their present day state
of being, or whether they were created that way by an entity called God. The evolution-
theorists now have to find the being with two legs that developed into Mermaids (that's
why they probed into Ayer's Rock Uluru!); and the creation-theorists have to find a God
who created the Mermaids from scratch, (but all they have are thick books about it).
Mermaids, as formidable and beautiful as they are, are definitely not some sort of
Divine Beings with creative - or even destructive - powers, except maybe destructive
for the mind of the unprepared stepping into their sphere of influence.
There are some tribes dwelling on small islands in the ocean who have an
OceanGoddess formed like a woman with a fluke. But since the indigenous neither
carve nor paint images we have no comparison to the confirmed sightings and correct
renderings by the talented and able hands of artists of renown (like the one who created
the illustrations for this work). And their native talk stories, and chants, and dances
leave light years of space open for the imaginative mind.
So it is easy to see how it came to the following misunderstanding:
Frustrated missionaries of different belief-systems nearly unisono reported to their
ChapterHouses on the MainLand: "The natives are totally immune to our values of life
and after-life. They never come to Church, not even when we serve coffee after prayer.
All they do is hang out at the beach playing music and watching Mermaids - at least that
is what they tell us - and can you believe it?: For them watching Mermaids is a religious
duty because it keeps body, mind, and soul together ... them superstitious fools!".
To replace Mermaid with OceanGoddess is to understand this misunderstanding.
Obviously the natives were not watching Mermaids but the OceanGoddess which is -
contrarily to watching Mermaids - a serious religious activity, indeed.
And to the dismay of the same self missionaries Mermaids have no religious life of their
own, at least nothing the missionaries would call a religious life because it is so vastly
different from their own ideas about things spiritual. Whether they have a spiritual
consciousness (knowing to have been created by a Higher Power and knowingly playing
their determined part in the Cosmic Net), can't be proven, but most Scientists agree that
they have something resembling that.
Keep Out Of Hands Of Children!
Adult content, sex and blood.
Some early explorers reported about frequent Mermaid sightings around the Caribbean
coasts and islands, but closer scrutiny proved the Mermaids being manatees, a perfectly
harmless species of about 2 meter long marine mammals. The females of this species are
reported to have mammary glands resembling those of a female of the human species;
the explorers also reported that the hungry and horny sailors shot those harmless beings
dead, heaved them aboard, and, before they reduced the carcass to meat, they f***ed
them, which they declared to be quite satisfactory, but - given the choice - they'd prefer
the real p***y of a real woman any time, but the situation being as it is, they had to make
do with what was available at that time.
And that manatees sometimes emit sounds like a woman in heat (as reported by horny
sailors) doesn't turn such a simple life form into one of the formidable Mermaids. And
being able to emit those noises doesn't turn them into sweet singing Sirenas, either.
The iconography of the charts the explorers used often depicted beings dwelling in the
realm of water, but the illustrations can be pretty deceptive about the appearance of
Mermaids. (And about the appearance of whales, dolphins and other water dwelling
beings, too.) It must be remembered that the ordinary sea chart for everyday use has
four corners only because we have Four Elemental Houses, and the artist, being
commissioned to draw a scientifically correct chart had to depict the round disc of
Planet Earth as a circle in the middle of the paper, and that leaves quite large areas in the
corners open, which had to be filled in a convincing manner, which is pretty hard to do
as every artist knows.
And well, there you have more fantasy than fact: Sea serpents pulling a square rigged
ship down into the depths of the ocean (what they cannot do because they are too small
- 10 meters max. but seldom more! They might snatch one or the other unaware sailor
off the ship and pull him down, but that's all a sea serpent can do.)
And you will see round cheeked Airmaids shown in explicit erotic poses blowing the
Four Winds from the four corners of the paper from their mouths, agitating the atmo-
sphere (what they never do! Airmaids sometimes fool around in the clouds and than a
wind blows, as the Scientists keep explaining to the lay public in seminars and work-
shops - obviously without success in their lofty goal to educate the un-educated.)
And - again to the great dismay of the scientific community - you see Mermaids with
two tails (ridiculous! because it means: Split legs - the forever unfulfilled dream of every
The explorers even adorned their ships with carved images of Mermaids, again with
split legs. How this regrettable neglect of scientific truth came to pass is unknown.
Probably one artist with more fantasy than knowledge started this foolishness and other
artists followed blind and kept repeating this grave mistake again and again, as often
can be observed, especially in this profession.
Some justify the image having two legs because every ship has two bows (starboard and
port) and leaving one bow unadorned would force the ship into a circular course, which
wouldn't do if you want to reach a harbor on the other side of the ocean. That might
well be right, but seen from ahead (that's where the Mermaids hang out trying the
hinder the ship in reaching her destination) the image clearly has two legs (see
illustration out of an artist's SketchBook), so the sorry try to deceive the Mermaids into
believing that the ship is a Sister-Mermaid and because of that leave her alone comes to
naught. Instead the Mermaids get really jealous and raging mad. As simple and single
minded Mermaids are, they are certainly not stupid, and it has been confirmed that
most of them can count till 2 (because of their dream about 2 legs, maybe), and with
proper training and infinite patience some of them can even learn to count till 3. (But
there it stops for unknown reasons.)
Fossils of Mermaids have never been found. Even the most thorough examination of
Uluru Ayer's Rock - a pre-life formation of sandstone - by the leading Scientists of all
Houses (except those of the House of Stone who refused for religious reasons to take
part), equipped with the most advanced technology revealed no fossils or other
evidence of the existence of Mermaids, although they must have been around when the
rock was formed because only the interaction of water with the solid matter of a planet
can create sandstone. And the basic postulate of the Science has always been:
(Unpolluted) Water equals Mermaids, and at the time when water formed Ayer's Rock
Uluru, the water for sure was unpolluted, not even fish had peed in it yet.
And exactly this discrepancy motivated Einstein to note in his secret journal: "Them
bitches are hard to nail down in a mathematical formula, because they are closest to
God." (Here, according to the Science of Magic Physics, errs Einstein because the
primary effect of the Creative Cause is Space-Matter-Energy and only these three effects
in the progress of Time can create water and thus create Mermaids.)
Anyway, in their final report about their probing into Ayer's Rock Uluru the Scientists
declared to have proven the point that Mermaids are Elemental Beings because of not
finding any fossils. Those Scientists who had chosen the House of Stone as their field of
research and who had refused to take part in that "sacrilegious activity", complained
bitterly about "those MermaidFreaks", who needlessly probed into Uluru, disturbing
not only the Elemental Beings therein (which they consider much more precious and
entertaining than any Mermaid any time), but also Her Majesty the Empress of the
House of Stone, whose winter residency - as everyone knows - is this very Rock Uluru.
(But the MermaidFreaks didn't want to dig in the summer because it is too hot and it
rains too much). And there was no need to dig up no fossils to prove that Elemental
Beings are exactly that: elemental ! as has been known since times immemorial.
In spite of that some time ago the scientific community was presented with "the first
ever found fossilic evidence that the Mermaid-legs are flexible at the hips and fused
solid at the knees and further down", as the lengthy paper accompanying the pretty bad
illustrations of the find declared. Once again the community exploded in unbridgeable
"Fossils can't be found because Mermaids are elemental! Thus: No bones" yelled the
"Yeah yeah. You just look here at what we've found!" yelled that faction who
considered themselves as progressive.
And what they had found was the breast bone (the so-called wishbone we all know
from BBQ-chicken, but much bigger) of the extinct Imu-bird of a zillion years ago.
So the fact stands: There are no fossils of Mermaids because they are Elemental Beings,
as it was postulated by the Three Sages of MermaidLore, some thousand years ago.
End Of Story