I sit in the shadows of the bar. Ashley and Samuel are out and so are Yori and Rachel. And apparently so is Jerolin….. again. I woke up to Korren crying, but no Jerolin. I comforted Korren and got him to sleep again, but again still no Jerolin. I tap the counter of the bar with my fingers, waiting. I'm not even sure how long he has been gone. I stopped looking at the clock. I never wanted to be one of those wives that waited like this, but he is always gone now. I don't understand why either. He won't talk to me. I'm not even sure what to feel. I'm pissed but I'm also worried and upset.
I hear his key in the door as Jerolin walks in gently closing the door behind him throwing his keys in the dish. Shrugging off his coat slamming his head into the wall a little sighing.
"Wow it's nice to actually see you," I say before I can stop myself. I meant to go about this in a better way but sometimes my mouth just starts moving. I stand up and cross my arms over my chest.
He groans,"Hello Pryena. Hows Korren?" He walks to go behind the bar pouring himself a drink but he just stares at it. Not once does he look at me. My stomach knots together, and here come the suspicions again. I glare at him, not that he actually sees.
"You would know, if you were ever home," I sneer. "Are you going to tell me about it, or do you want me to guess? I promise you, you won't like what I guess Jerolin."
He snorts softly,"I highly doubt you can guess the truth."He sounds almost bitter like talking to me is a requirement. Tears burn in the back of my eyes and I slam my hands down on the bar. The liquid in the cup Jerolin poured slouches onto the counter.
"So there is something wrong! What is it Jerolin! You're so distant now. You rarely play with Korren and hell you don't even kiss me as much anymore. Are you bored or something?!" I'm not yelling, but I'm pretty damn close.
He laughs a little bitter grabbing a water bottle and drinking it instead of his alcohol. "Trust me I'd be relieved if I was bored." He dumps the drink into the sink slowly down the drain. I grab his arms and try to get him to look at me. It's getting harder to blink back tears.
"Goddamnit! Then what's wrong Jerolin! Why wont you talk to me?"
He grabs my arms and pushes me away alittle his eyes....his eyes are...aren;t normal...their pitch black,cold, unwanting. "Do you wanna know what's wrong Pree? You wanna know? Fine." He turns and decks the wall as hard as he can only barely leaving a dent. "That's what's wrong." I flinch and stare at him. A few tears roll down my cheeks and I turn from him and put my forehead to the wall.
"Jerolin, I don't understand." I sigh. "I really just want to understand, because I'm hurt and worried. I mean you didn't even notice that I got new lingerie. I thought you were getting bored so I even got handcuffs and other stuff I don't think you noticed. And Korren….." my voice cracks more. "He's been having nightmares. Apparently he thinks Vollen is a monster. And he asks for you all the time."
He snorts,"I don't blame him thats a good analogy." He sighs and rubs his head before turning me to face him rubbing my arms a little. "I'm not bored.......I'm turning mortal." I don't look up at him. I can't. I wipe my tears, but it doesn't seen to help.
"Then why are you pushing me away? And what does that mean exactly?" I ask, trying to keep my voice even. Mortal….means he won't live as long as me, right? The thought scares me more than I want to admit. I clench my fist and unclench them
He groans and starts pacing,"I can't....I don't know...I don't even understand...I can't drink without getting sick, I've had a cold, I don't understand how this works. I've been so lost and I get so frustrated that I start lashing out at what's ever near me. I've gone to the gym everyday and I owe them like a thousand dollars in reimbursement, for destroying punching bags, windows walls....but now I can't even break a wall..I...I..."He slams his head into the bar. I flinch and hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. I'm so scared he will push me away. I swallow hard, trying to keep the lump in my throat from choking me. This can't be happening.
"And why, Jerolin, would you not tell me this kind of thing? Don't you know how worried I've been? Do you know how scared I was that you were not interested in us anymore. Me and Korren. Why didn't you tell me?" I demand in a harsh whisper.
"I couldn't....I....I couldn't let you see...." I squeeze his shoulder gentle. I sigh again, and my head falls so that my forehead rests on his shoulder. I drop my hands and just lean my head on him. At least he's not pushing me away. Thats a good thing.
"Why not…." I ask. There's bitterness in my voice. "I'm your wife. You're suppose to be able to talk to me." It hurts that he didn't come to me.
He tenses, he starts shaking as if he was trying not to cry in frustration,"I didn't want you to think of me being weak."
"Jerolin," I hiss. I slap his back, not too hard, and grabs a fistfull of his shirt. "You will never be weak in my eyes! I don't care if you can't pick up a pencil, or if you cry at Spongebob, you are never weak in my eyes. You wanna know something. I know it's bad of me to think this, but this whole time I thought you were cheating on me! I thought…. I thought…. I just wasn't good enough anymore. I'm ashamed I thought that, because I know you wouldn't do that, but I couldn't help it. You should have come to me. You….you aren't weak." My voice cracks again and I clear my throat. I laugh bitterly and shake my head. He turns the bar stool to look at me and grabs my hands.
"Pree....I just...I didn't know how to....I...I can't think straight...I can't even...."He groans and slams his head back into the bar counter. "I can't even talk right!" He yells in frustration. I almost yank my hands away, but I don't. I even think about just screaming and screaming and screaming until my voice gives out.
"Why not? I don't understand Jerolin! I don't understand what's going on? I want to help you, but I don't even know where to start. How does someone lose their immortality?" I demand. I do yank my hands away then, and like he did before, I start to pace. I knot my hands in my hair and literally want to pull my hair out.
"It happens when A god becomes attached to a family. They lose their immortality so that they can live out a normal life with them. This isn't happening to you because you are the Goddess of Family. It's your job description." He explains. I freeze and I think I even start backing away I little. I'm not sure. But his words crash into me, and my ears start ringing. I feel like I just woke up with the biggest hangover ever. I wrap my arms around my stomach, like I always do when I'm upset.
"This…. This is...is because...of Korren?" I ask. My voice sounds far away even to me. I feel a little dizzy too. I shake my hea, and more tears trek down my cheek. They are like boiling water on my now ice cold face. I even wonder if they are making my skin sizzle.
"No no Pree please..."He stands and cups my face,"Please don't blame yourself please...this is my fault. I was trying so hard to make everything so perfect for you I didn't see the signs." He wipes away my tears with his thumbs and for the first time in weeks gives me a loving kiss. I almost moan, but I don't. "I'm so sorry Pryena...please forgive me." I close my eyes, taking a few deep breaths. I feel like I might throw up. He kisses me again. "Please?" I lick my lips. Selfish of me to want more kisses at a time like this. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly. I bury my face in his chest.
"I...I…. We have…. We can fix this right? We can figure this out," I gasp. We have to. I need him, and not just because of Korren. He makes me a better person inside and out. No one has or ever will make me feel like this.
"I've been talking to Apollo we haven't figured it out yet....but we have a theory." I rub my face in his chest and hug him tighter. My knees buckle, but by some miracle I stay on my feet.
"What is it?" I ask sofly. "Lin I lost you once….I can't lose you again." I flinch remember when Ares killed him. I still owe him a knife in the gut for what he did. I still plan to do it too, but at the moment that doesn't even matter to me.
"You are the goddess of family....we think...if you meditate in your temple....you can figure out what saves me." I'm quiet for a minute or two, I don't even know. I just welcome his embrace. Wishing he was holding me, just to hold me, and that we didn't have to deal with this shit. Would we even tell Korren? I mean what would we say? He wouldn't understand. Just like he doesn't understand that Vollen isn't a monster, it's much worse than that.
"I'll do it. Anything to help you Jerolin. Like I said, I can't lose you again. I don't think I'd even be able to function," I say. My voice is muffled in his shirt. He kisses my head softly.
"I love you Pree...Apollo will come get you in the morning....I'll make up for lost time with Korren..."He pulls away to cough a little. I frown and blink hard. Thankfully the tears have stopped, but I still feel like I might fall on my ass. I cup his face and tiptoe to kiss his cheek.
"I love you too. From now on tell me these things….please Jerolin," I plead.
"Yes my love...I love you...I will in the future." He pulls away to cough harder."I can't get rid of this cough." I sigh and peck him on the lips.
"You should get some rest. I'm sure Sam has something for a cough." I tell him.
"I know what I should be getting. But it's got too many layers on it." he says with a small grin. Another miracle, I smile at him and hug him tightly.
"I didn't last night. I was actually sleeping naked to try to get your attention," I tell him. "Butt, ass naked." I draw circles on his chest and lean my head on his shoulder. I had even thought about handcuffing his ass to the bed
"Don't.Remind. Me. Very cold shower was needed." He hisses a little. tracing my hands down his back."And that...actually sounds kind of fun." I shudder and decide, what the hell. I run my hands down his chest and barely graze the front of his jeans before reaching behind grabbing his ass. He smiles softly reaching under my jeans and grabs my ass, "No underwear? Sexy."
"Who needs panties when I'm trying to get your attention," I gasp. "Now tell me, should we move this upstairs, or should I just head to the showers." I bury my face in his neck, brushing my lips against his neck softly. I can't help myself and smile and bite down on his neck gentle.
"Let's go get those cuffs, I owe you big time." He says nibbling the top of my ear. I smile and wiggles my hands into his jeans, I grab him and then look up and kiss him passionately. I pull away and run upstairs before he can catch me. "hey! Cheater!" He laughs jogging up after me. He must be mortal cause normally he'd just poof in front of me instead of chasing after me. I frown a little, but I and determined to fix this. And tomorrow I'm going with Apollo. I start stripping on the way the the room, and plop down naked on the bed. He grins coming over to our room taking off his shoes as he kicks the door closed locking it. He takes off his shirt and pins me to the bad.
"You my love are the sexiest woman on the planet." I smirk up at him, and cup my own breast. I wrap my legs around him to pull him closer and kiss his chest. I nibble lightly on his skin.
"I'm your sexiest woman on the planet," I say. I close my eyes, and inhale his scent. I smile up at him.
"Ain't that for damn sure." he grins rolling us over and pulls me down to suck on my breast, as he pulls on my hair a little. I let out an embarrassing loud moan, and grind into him. I pull his face to mine and kiss him roughly, my lips crushing his so much, I'd be surprised if we didn't have bruised lips tomorrow. He pulls on my hair and wraps his own legs around me slamming me into his chest with everything he has. He bites my bottom lip pulling on it a little bit. He grins rolling us over. "Handcuffs? You or me?" I smile at me.
"I'm a little afraid to say me," I tease. "But its up to you. I got the cuffs for you to use, so you decide," I say. My voice is thick with desire. I almost moan with anticipation.
He grins,"You have every right to be afraid if I chain you to a bed it's gonna be more joyable for me than it is for you...."He thinks about it rolling us back over putting his arms over his head. "Do you worst boss." I grin and snap the cuffs on him. I then yank off his jeans so that we are both naked. I straddle his waist and for just a moment, I just stare at him. , meeting his eyes.
"Really want me to do my worse?" I ask, deviously.
I see him swallow hard a little but he smirks,"Go ahead, I can take it." I grin, and start by running my hand over my body, just to see how he reacts. He glares a little at me, watching my hands very carefully. I start at my thighs, and run my hands slowly upwards, making sure to trace all of my curve. I smile at him and then lean down and kiss his very lightly and tenderly. He shudders softly kissing me back passionately, his tongue tracing my lips. I pull away just so I'm barely out of his reach.
"Anything you want me to do to you?" I ask in his ear. He growls softly tilting his head so that he playfully bites my neck.
"You, that's what I want." His voice is thick with his own desire and need. I flutter my eyelashes at him and grin. I grind into him hard and get off him. He lets out a groan. I sit next to him. I grab his manhood and stroke him very slowly. He leans his head back biting his lower lip softly. He takes in a shaky breath. I smile to myself and then lick him slowly as well, before taking him into my mouth. I take him as far as I can go, and then pull away. I climb back on him and nibble his neck.
"You...tease.....you big...fucking tease." He breaths tilting his head groaning softly as he tries to wiggle his way so that he can enter me but he can't move that much. I lift up and position myself to let him enter me, but then I grin at him and shift around as that I don't. I go back to kissing his neck and chest, nibbling and sucking as I go. He groans loud softly tilting his head trying to move out of the cuffs.
"How bad do you want it?" I ask, panting. It's torture for me too, but it's fun to see him squirm.
"Really...really bad Pree....please...." I nibble on his earlobe, and then kiss his jawline.
"Please what?" I breathe. I grind into him again and smile. He groans fighting the handcuffs a little. Biting his lip as he grinds into me. I gasp in pleasure
"Let me take you....I need you." He groans softly. I smiles and lift up, I slowly let him enter me, but I don't move, I just kiss him hard. He lets out a groan louder than I've heard him groan before. He kisses me hard as he starts to roll his hips. I moan loudly, but grab his hips to stop him from moving.
"I love you," I tell him, before I start moving. I claim his mouth again and kiss him roughly but passionately. I roll my tongue with his, feeding him what I know he wants, and well as trying to sate my own hunger. He growls softly trying to break the chains of the handcuffs. He thrashes his tongue with mine, sucking on my bottom lip.
"I love you too Pryena..... My Pryena." I moan against his lips, moving faster. I reach up and uncuff him wanting everything from him. He rubs my breasts harshly rolling us over as he pins my arms above my head with one of his hands. He makes his way down my jaw line nibbling softly but kissing the sting away every time till he gets to my neck. I tilt my head back, and wrap my legs around him. I rock into him, and moan softly. He groans in my neck grabbing my thigh thrusting into me hard but he goes slow about it. He keeps his face hidden in my neck as he starts nibbling and sucking on the tender part of my neck.
"Jerolin…." I moan loudly. "Oh Gods…." I move with him. This man is amazing. I can almost forget about everything that happened earlier and what's going on his him. My fear of losing him is still there, but I'm too lost in passion to allow myself to worry. This is our moment now, and all I want to think about is, me and him. He groans picking up the pace pulling away too look me in the eyes cupping my face, His eyes were a wonderful blue with just the hint of passion purple. I moan and knot my fingers of my free hand.
"Your eyes…." I gasp. He crushes his lips onto mine letting go of my other hand to cup my neck. I moan into his mouth and kiss him savagely. I rock into him and knot my hand hand into his hair. He slides his hands under me and lifts me up so that we're both sitting up together. He kisses my breasts thrusting into me as he holds me up. Purring in my chest. I scream out his name softly, moving with him faster. I nibble his neck and shoulder. He groans my name in my ear as he starts to go faster and digs his hands into my back holding me closer to him. I moan louder, moaning his name each time he thrusts. I love this man more than my own life.
"Can't lose you," I pant. He groans as if an answer."Need you." He groans louder and I can feel him tensing up as he starts to thrust harder and faster before taking us both over our climax. He collapses on top me breathing hard on my chest. I run my hands through his hair, trying to catch my breath. I hug him tightly, as if afraid to let go.
"Never....again....are we handcuffing me.....that was hard." He breaths holding me to his chest.
'Thought it was hot," I smile softly into his neck. I kiss his neck a little.
"Then...birthday only."He breathes softly, rolling over so that he's laying next to me. I curl into him, laying my head on his chest. I snuggle closer and pull the blankets around us. I kiss his cheek, and play with his hair. I sigh softly and hug him.
"We will figure this out," I whisper. "I wont give up until I find a way to fix you." There's no way I can give up. Because I can't stand the thought of one do waking up without him next to me. I can't bare to think about him not being around. I've already lived like that a few days, and it was the worst thing I've ever gone through. Aside from watching him die and being tortured on that stupid rock. He doesn't even hear me I don't think. He's snoring softly clutching to me. He never falls asleep after sex. He's always ready to go another round or go cook or...anything...but he's...sleeping...Like he'd just passed out from exhaustion. He even looks a little older from when I first met him. He always looked well ageless but now...I can probably say he looked almost...thirty. I sigh and rub my face in his chest. I feel close to tears again, but I hold them back and just hold onto him tighter.