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Novel By: Tenshindon

A short story about a womens Diary about here life as she sleep around with me. (This story is 100% fiction and not based on any real life events) View table of contents...



Submitted:Feb 19, 2013    Reads: 2,286    Comments: 2    Likes: 1   

The Diary of a Whore

I remember that day he came to me full of bliss, waiting for me all these years whilst he was away in war. I can tell you he was existed to see me, he burst thorough my door with amazing strength and an overwhelming passion to make love to me, I could see it deep inside his eyes, the fire burnt deep. He took 4 steps towards me knowing what will happen next, his arms stretched over to me and he laid his hands on my shoulders rubbing them so softly and grasping so hard. I could tell he had been sexless all these years and after reading his letters I know he has had the desire to make love to me because of our distance apart.

He pushed agenst my shoulders, I fell on to the bed giggling and smiling, he lent over to me and I slowly took his shirt off, whilst I was doing this I felt such amazing heat from his body I think it made me wet, after I took his shirt off he slowly ripped off my shirt and unhooked my bra and began chreast my boobs, then he stopped…he put his head down to them, and then he started to bite my nipples ever so gently that it sent a tingle up to my spine and released such an ecstasy that I knew then I wanted him inside of them, I put my hands to his zipper and whispered to him "Fuck me" he stood up and took his jeans off and underwear whilst I watched with a grin on my face and a fire in heart.

I also stood up and felt his body I pushed him to the bed and bent down so my ass was in front of him then I began to slowly take my skirt off. He was so existed he grasped each cheek of my ass and brought his face to my pussy and began to eat me. Words cannot describe how amazing it feels, his long tong certainly has it's benefits, and the fact he can just go for hours to give me pleasure, He threw me back to the bed so I was on my back and crept up to me, he started to kiss my head, my nose, my lips and went all the way down my body till he was back were he started. He started to drive his fingers deep inside of me, he kept going and going, not even the ocean could make me as wet as he could.. I love the way he licks his fingers after he is done fingering me, and it's so much better then the other times I've been fingered because he has the longest fingers I've ever seen.

He slowly took his fingers out licking them one by one and smiling back at me, and at that moment I could not even remember my own name because at the point I could only think of one think and that was wanting him to fuck me, I wanted it so bad but he loves to tease me. He started to he me again but this time he started to play with my clitorises, he gently started to bite it and play around with it with his tong and it was at the point were I grabbed his head and brought it up to mine and told him it's my time to make you feel happy. I really like to do this because I feel greedy sometimes and I want to make my man happy. He told me to sit on the floor and he showed me his dick and I grasped it with my soft hands and began to slowly move my hand up and down, I loved to do this because the look on his face was priceless, an overwhelming feeling of ecstasy. As I kept going faster and faster and licking the drips of cum that came out as he came.

He told me he was about to shoot a load off so he stood up and I open my mouth. I always remember every time we do this because I think of it as a game. How much cum can I catch in my mouth this time was a lot. He came into my mouth and all over my body and after he did this he lied onto the bed after having an orgasm. I crept up to him and told him it was his turn to make me orgasm. He picked me and threw me to the bed and came up to me and started kissing me with a passion as he was feeling my breasts.

Then, then was the moment I had been waiting for, for years I've longed to feel this way, I felt like they was a fire deep inside of me, the thrusting, the screaming, my bed felt like it would brake, he was relentless and not holding back. At that moment the only word in my whole vocabulary was the word "yes" and I screamed it out like there was no tomorrow, I felt like my whole body was in a sea of ecstasy. My heart started to race faster then ever that I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

I put my hands on his back and dug my nails into him like I was going to fall off my bed and die. This feeling was so amazing I started to dribble and almost black out because of sheer pleasure. I felt his dick move in every direction and it felt like his was getting bigger and deeper with every passing second, I could not believe that he was so good, it was god like. By this time I already had two orgasms, it was so amazing that I didn't want him to stop….ever! If he is going to be this good now I want him to fuck me everywhere everyday. He was like an animal, He kept thrusting his dick into me so fast and so hard that my whole body went numb and my body was getter warmer. Forty minutes later and he had not stopped. He was a true solider and I could not help but wonder what his other friends in the army were like. I wondered what it would be like for them to me inside at me all at once. But as for now I would keep let my man keep fucking me. The final came. I could feel him slowing down and he released his cum into me and it cooled me down and my heart stopped for two seconds and then started to beat

Again until it went back to normal. He laid there on top of me. Both out of breath two.

After we could breathe normally again he got up and started to make us both coffee and a meal. I was still on the bed unable to move, just starting to remember my name….Jane….Jane…Jane Cox that's it. After I could move again I got up and sat on the sofa next to him, his name was Ian Joruic. And we began to lay down on the sofa and watch movies and each and drink coffee together and then Ian picked a movie for us to both watch together and then cuddle up with eachother.

Ian was an amazing man. He stood 6 ft tall with long black hair and a face that would make your ovaries explode. His body looked as if the gods them self's crafted it. Sky blue eyes and a sexy British accent. I was just an young American women when I met him, He was not that good back then but he was still pretty good. I met him at a buss station late at name, I was running to the buss and I just missed it and as the buss was taking off it drove past a massive puddle of water and as it was about to splash all over me he came, Ian and shielded me away from the water with his body and got wet instead of me, He asked me if I was ok I said yes, I was engaged at this time by the way. He said they are no more busses for hours and it would takes along time for a cab to come here so he told me I could come to his apartment and sleep more the night. As we walked to his apartment we started to get to know eachother, I told him about my life, what I like and don't like and also I started to flirt a little, I know I was going to get married soon but it was so tempting I just wanted to see him naked and the more he talked about his love for books and his life the less I loved my current boyfriend Mickey.

I grabbed his because I wanted to feel his warmth and he was so warm and I never wanted to let go of his soft genital hands. As we were walking a group of young teenagers came up to us and said "give us ya money or we'll beat you up, you get me man" Ian went up one of them and said "What will you do little man?" the kid started to get scared and intimidated by him and ran away. I could not help but fall in love with him he was all I ever wanted in a man. When we got to his apartment he open up his door and said "here's home" I asked him if it was ok for me to have a shower and he said ok, so I walked to the bathroom and started to take my clothes, whilst I was taking my clothes of I could not help but this about his long hard dick coming inside of me and out of nowhere I found my self fondling my breasts and fingering my self, I slowly moved my finger around and up and down and up and down, then I found some of his underwear in his wash basket so I stopped fondling my breasts and started to smell his boxers and then I got his tooth brush to finger my self with, this was an amazing feeling like no other I could not believe how attracted I was to him and how wet he made me, I kept on smelling his boxers and licking the little stains of cum on his boxers, and then I felt it, I was about the have an orgasm I thought I could hold in but I couldn't

I screamed so loud that Ian came and broke the door down and found me on the floor naked and covered in my own juices. There was a complete and utter silence. I put both of my hands behind my back and slowly took of my ring, and threw it to the side of the bathroom corners. I could tell he was turned on, I told him there was a condom in my purse if you to. As I smiled and winked at him and then bit my lip. Unlike when he was in the army he was a little shy when it came to sex and only wanted to put his dick inside of me, but at this moment I couldn't give a fuck about anything else and this was not the first time I cheated and it was not going to be the last. All I wanted was for his dick to me inside of me.

He said ok, and then only took his pants off which were sad because I really wanted to see his rock hard abs which I am sure he had. As he took of his boxers everything went in slow motion and I watched as his dick slowly came out and I watched as his put his condom on that was meant for some random person but what the fuck, I wanted him inside me now. I could not believe how big he was; it made me want to worship it. As he came down to me and slowly sided his dick into my pussy, I was wondering how I should describe this in my diary which is what I am writing now. He fucked me like a slut on his bathroom floor and I liked it. It started to hurt and it felt like his dick was going into my stomach, but the pain felt so good I didn't care if it killed me I wanted him inside me forever. He didn't last how he normally lasts now but it was still longer and better than what my boyfriend still gives to me, I don't want to tell Ian I have a boyfriend he may get jalousie.

Ever since he sided his dick into me on that bathroom floor I knew this was not going to be a one time thing and that I would want to have him everywhere, After he finished fucking me I was so happy, He picked me up to his bed and then laid me there and that was the best day of my life, And that is how I met Ian.

Whilst we were on the sofa together I thought it was time to tell Ian I have a boyfriend (but not about the fact that I sleep around with anyone I want) I told him I had been engaged to Mickey for 3 years now, he took it better than I thought, It made him more horny and he asked to meet him so I agreed.

The next day I was in the local café with my boyfriend, I told him I had to make a call, I phoned up Ian and told him to come and meet me at the café we have sex in sometimes.

I went back to the table with my boyfriend and started to tell him about my day and he told me about his. I do love my boyfriend, don't think I don't but I want some more excitement. Ten minutes passed I was thinking Ian was not going to come but then he came in and I said "Ian! Hi" he came over smiling; I introduced them both and told my boyfriend that Ian was a childhood friend. They got on really well and they had a lot in common. I made sure my boyfriend drank a lot so he would need the toilet due to his weak bladder, after he went to the bathroom Ian sat next to me and started to put my hands inside my skirt and inside my underwear and started to slowly finger me.

This was so exciting; the fear of getting caught made me want him to keep fingering me. My boyfriend came out of the bathroom and had to sit in a different seat. This was it the moment that Ian wanted, to finger me in front of my boyfriend whilst he was clueless. This was so hot. My boyfriend asked why arm in a weird place is. Then Ian took his fingers out of me and said that he has an injury and has to keep it slow down or it hurts. Then he questioned me about my blushed face, but he's never seen this face because he's never made me feel like that, So I said I am feeling a little ill, I went over to him and whispered in his ear "If you go to the shop across the road now I will let you fuck me in the café bathrooms when Ian goes" He made up some stupid reason to leave and left in a hurry.

Once he had left I got up grabbed Ian's hand and led him into the women's bathrooms where he fucked me like an animal, I wanted to do this again and again, the fear of getting caught just made the sex even better, also I could tell that Ian liked it because it was existed than ever and seeing my boyfriend made him so happy because he told me whilst he was fucking me it's so funny that he has no idea that we are fucking, my back started to hurt because he was endlessly thrusting his dick into my pussy that my whole body was slamming against the wall, I was holding onto him for dear life, I loved the way he fucked me, like I was a slut, that's always how I want to be fucked. He put me down and then I said "have we stopped" He didn't say anything and I just went in any position he wanted to. He bent me over so my head was on the toilets and he began to stick his dick in my ass, I've never done anal before so this was the first time. It hurt so much I started to bleed and scream, but it felt so good. He started to fuck me so hard I just became a lifeless puppet for him to fuck. A whilst after he came in my ass and left me there and said I'll tell your boyfriend you're waiting for him in here.

Ian walked out whilst I was left on the toilet trying to remember who I was and where I am, Ian saw my boyfriend and said "your girl said meet her in the bathroom for some reason, they swiped phone numbers and then he came onto the bathroom whilst Ian walked home. My boyfriend came in and I told him to fuck me, he grabbed me by the ass and lifted me up and drove his dick inside me and fucked me, hard, really hard, but not has hard as Ian. Every time I get fucked by anyone all I can think about is Ian, so I pretend Ian is fucking me whilst.

But before you get all scared and wondered where I put all of Ian's cum just know I got a lot of tissues to soak it all up so I was Mickey's sloppy seconds.

After Mickey fucked me we went out and we went into his car, that's when he started, all questions about did I ever do anything with Ian? Would I? Have ever thought about it? At this point I got mad and said "don't you trust me? And told him to stop. He said he was sorry, I told him to fuck off, I wondered around the streets for while and looked for someone to fuck, I found a guy, I walked up to him and said "how old are you? "24" he said, I took out a condom and said if you want to fuck me you can fuck me which is at this point were he said "I've got a few friends at home if you are interested" I nodded my head and walked with him. As we came to his apartment and walked in I saw three black guys. I've never been with a black guy before and so this was amazing. I never thought I would be with one. I took all my clothes off and lay down on the bed and waited for them to come fuck me, I could hear them outside the door saying how amazing this is and how they are going to fuck me.

They all came in and said "you are our whore now, and you will do as we say" said "ok" they put me on all fours, and one shoved his dick in my mouth and I began to suck it like a lollypop, the other started to shove his dick inside my pussy as the 2 masturbated and kept Cumming on me. They kept switching places and this kept going on for hours, they never gave up, one guy put his dick so deep down my neck that I almost passed out and another one came so much in my mouth that I was honestly drowning, by the end of this orgy I had red marks all over ass, my pussy was sore, my mouth and all over my body even my hair was full of cum. They even fuck me in my ass and pussy at the same time and this was so amazing that I could not even remember who the fuck Ian was anymore and I wanted this because no longer could one man make me feel like Ian did, I needed more like these guys. I got up and went into the shower, but not even in the shower I could be left alone, one guy came in and rubbed the soap all over me and fucked me so hard in the shower I didn't know if the shower was even making me wet and it was just him. After the shower I told them I am on my way home but if I get something to eat I will suck their dicks before I go, and they were good guys and did what I told them so I sucked their dicks just like I suck Ian's licking each and very drop of cum that came out and caught all them their cum inside my mouth.

After that I said goodbye and gave them my number, grabbed my coat and went outside, I phoned up my boyfriend telling him I was sorry and to pick me up outside the café, I waited for twenty minutes before he came and picked me up, I came and in and he asked me what I was doing and I just told him that I was just walking around thinking about things, he smiled and told me he loves me and I told him I love him too. On the drive home I began to look out of the window and gaze at all the lights of the streets, the broken homes, the broken souls, shattered memories and then me, I was a slut, a slut, I didn't know what to do anymore I couldn't take it, I didn't want to do this anymore. I started to cry, Mickey looked over to me and asked what was wrong I said "I am just so happy I am with you" Mickey had the biggest grin I have ever seen, he was even more happier then the time I told Ian I have a boyfriend.

Once we got home, Mickey parked the car the garage as I walked into the house and walked up stairs and just laid down on my bed wondering if he will ever find out what I had done. As I was laying down on my bed I reached over to my night stand drawer and picked up my diary and started to write about everything I did today in graphic detail.

After I was finished I started to have a gander through my book and look at all of the terrible things I have ever done, but also the most amazing feeling I've ever had. I started to read the first page, the first time I ever cheated on my boyfriend it was a few years before I met Ian, I was 20 years old and just moved out of my parents house into new York. I just bought an apartment with my boyfriend and we were going split the rent together and start our new live, but he phoned me up and told me that I will have to find my own way to make the rent for the first month because he had to look after his dad who recently had a heart attack.

I was devastated, I got a job in a café before I moved in but I was worried it was not going to be enough, I told him it was ok and then put the phone down and told him I loved him. As soon as I put the phone down I started to lay down on the floor and brake down into tears because I was not sure how I could pay the rent, I was scared I would have to move out and all of out money would have been wasted. It didn't take long until the skies went dark and I became tired, shortly after I picked my self up from the floor from hours of crying and slowly dragged my lifeless body to the bedroom so I could wake up early in the morning to pay my rent.

In the morning I woke up to shouting, screaming, the cold air and the broken street. I got out of bed and looked out onto the broken street, it was not a nice area but it's all we could afford. I walked into the new bathroom of mine and turned on the shower, the water was nice and warm, I took my clothes off and stepped into the shower and rubbed soap all over my body, my nipples started to erect as the water poured onto them making them all went, I rubbed the soap all over my breasts making sure they were nice and clean, after they were both clean I started to rub my pussy with the shower head, I turned the water on full speed and rubbed it in a circler motion around my pussy whilst I was biting the tip on my index finger and wondering what it would be like to have Mickey's dick inside of me. A little while later I got out of my shower and started to get dressed, after I got dressed I started to walk to work, Whilst on my way to work I started to look around and I got really nerves because everyone looked so scary, there were gangs everywhere, I wanted Mickey to protect me, I wanted him here.

Whilst I was walking I saw in the distance were I would spend most of my life working, As I came into the café the manager came up to me and asked me if I was Jane I said "yes

I am" He welcomed me in and showed me around, introduced me to all the staff and showed my how to wait on tables and what I should do and what I should not do when I am waiting on tables, I could have my brakes at 14:00 till 14:00 and 15:00 till 15:00 and I will start at 10am and finish at 16:00 but I was allowed weekends free for my self to do what ever I wanted, the pay was $20 an hour which was still worrying because to keep my apartment I had to pay $300 a month, and that's just the rent. I thanked him and then I began to wait on all of the tables, the manager told me how good I was at this and waiting on tables was my calling in life, I was not sure if he was going or not but it really hurt me inside but all I did was smile and giggle and tell him how funny he is, hoping he would give me a rise so I could keep my apartment.

Twelve days had passed and nothing interesting happened at all, it was the same everyday, I came in everyone said hello to eachother and then we started to get to work, I did make some friends whilst on my brake but only work friends, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. I started to take night shifts and put in extra hours so I would not have to move out of New York. Now back to the interesting part, one day I was waiting on a table and a man grabbed my ass, I was shocked but didn't do anything out of fear that he would hurt me, he told me if you want some extra money call this number. He slipped it into my underwear and taped my ass and said "have a nice day love" I went into the bathrooms crying and I didn't want to do this anymore I wanted to see my boyfriend, I went home early that day and told my boss I was feeling sick, he deemed I was trust worthy and said you can have a week of with full pay. Later that night at home I was watching TV on my own when all of a sudden the lights went out "Fuck, I forgot to pay the electric bill" then came a knock on my door and a voice said " we are going to need the money early this month and it's $600 a month now. I didn't know what to do, I was there alone in the dark wondering what to do, I couldn't phone up my boyfriend and tell him I was going to have to come back home and it was his fault because he would be depressed and never forgive his self so I did something I don't even regret anymore, I phoned the man up that night and he told me where I should go to. I was shaking I didn't know what he wanted me to do. I came up to his house and knocked on his door, he answered and said " Once you step inside here anything goes" at this point I knew he wanted to have sex with me, but my boyfriend would never forgive his self if we went back to making the money all over again, so I knew this was the only way, I stepped inside scared, he told me to take my clothes off, I did as he said, as I did I started to cry and before I knew it I was naked in front of him with my hands covering my breasts and my pussy.

He told me to walk up stairs and wait on his bed, I went up stairs and found his bedroom and waited there, I wondered if he was going to kill me after he had sex with me. As I laid the bed I started to hear the floor boards creek and then he entered the door naked, It would have be harder if he was fat and ugly but he was very pretty and well built, I was so freighted I was about to cheat on my boyfriend, but I needed the money. In a flash he was inside of me, I was ashamed to say it but it felt so amazing, there was something about cheating on my boyfriend that made the sex so much better, all I thought about was his dick inside of me, he was so genital and so fast, it was amazing, my pussy was dripping wet with my juices as his dick sided in and out of my pussy, it was so good, I wanted this feeling every time, so then the affair started between me and this man who never told me his name. so everyday he came to the café and fucked me on my brake's in the alleyway, in the bathrooms, in my apartment and he also would eat my pussy whilst I was on the phone to my boyfriend and even fucked me whilst on the phone with my boyfriend. But a few days before my boyfriend came back the man who I had sex with everyday went, I never saw him again.

I put my diary down and then I wished I never read that first part of my diary because I think I just fell in love with that man. I fell asleep before my boyfriend came back because I don't think I loved him anymore.

In the morning I woke up before my boyfriend and I said to my self this is the day I am going to leave me, there was something after reading that book that just made me went to go and find that man again and stay with him,. So I wrote him a note telling him that I was going to my sisters for 2 weeks and I said in the letter I will miss him and I love him. I phoned up my sister shortly after I made the note and told her that if my boyfriend rings up tell him I am with you. Then I put the phone down got dressed and drove to the house I first cheated on with my boyfriend, the light were on because it was midnight, it took me hours to drive to the place and also hours to find the place, whilst I was driving I was smiling and giggling and wondering what it would be like to be with him again and he could fuck me again and again and again. As I said I found the house and I knocked on the door, there he was the man I had been driving hours to meet, I said "Hello" and he did not know who I was, I told him we used to have sex all the time and that I came back to be with him, what happened next I could have never guessed, he pushed me away from his front door and I fell down crying, he said "get away from me, you were just a fling, nothing special, just go" I got back up and started to walk away crying, I took my last look goodbye and then I saw a women who I think was his wife come around and hug him and ask was, and he said, "just some stranger, never mind, come on I'll race to bed baby" he shut the door and I herd them run to their bedroom laughing.

I could not believe what just happened, I thought that he was just going to welcome be back and we could be happy together. I got in my car and started to speed off again, I didn't want to live, I thought of all the things I had ever done to my boyfriend, I love him what am I doing? I was going to end it all here I drove off anywhere dangerous so that I could die. Many people do that I do but they do it without love, I just want to not feel anymore, I drove off to a cliff and watched as the car fell down, at that moment I felt nothing, and before I knew it there was just total blackness.

A few months later I woke up in a hospital on life support, I later found out the fall did not kill me and as I fell someone spotted me, it took a while until I could talk and walk but as soon as I got back my strength and I saw a book by my side, it looked so formulary and I noticed it was my diary. My heart started to race my life has stopped, after I woke up I as no longer going to cheat, but after my accident happened my sister told my boyfriend everything about how I cheated on him and she told him to look in my diary, I found out he tried to kill him self and he was saved by a women he is now in a relationship with. Whilst I was on my hospital bed my sister phoned me up and told me all of this, I could not be angry at her I would have done the same. I was to sad to cry I just sat there broken, I picked up my diary and looked at the front page and he changed the name of my diary from "My diary" to "The Whores Diary" I only had one person left to talk to, Ian, I phoned him up and he answered "I said I am sorry" he said "I do not care, you're a selfish fucking whore and I never want to see you again I thought you loved me I thought you cared, I never want to see you again" I couldn't do this anymore, I had no money to go to my sisters as she lived in Germany so I went to the only people I knew in the city. a few months after I was checked out of the hospital I had to have a few brain scans and some physical therapy for a while before I was allowed to go and also I had to tell the police what happened I told them that I lost control whilst I was going on a gander in my car. A few months later I walked out with no one to go to, no money to go anywhere so then I thought to my self the only place I have left to go to is the guys I had an orgy with.

So I turnd up on their door step and they were more than happy to let me in as long as I gave them sex and I said "this was ok"

I stayed for a while, all they did everyday was fuck me, Whilst I was watching TV or making toast, I didn't care anymore but it was quite annoying, but I was now emotionless I couldn't feel anything anymore. I did like them having sex with me everywhere I went, they would finger me whilst I watch TV and I really liked it, it was all amazing but before I knew it I woke up one day and I had been doing this for three months so one day I just got up and left without a goodbye and started to sleep on the streets, for a while with only my diary to write in and the clothes on my back to wear.

I was left alone, no one, nothing in the world for me anymore, it was like god took my soul from my body and put it in the fires of hell it's self, because I always felt like I was burning.

One day whilst I was on the street a man came to me in a limo and said he could help me change my life, I thought he was going to help me, save me, but as soon as I got into them limo he started to undress me and I honestly did not care if he fucked me or not, so he bent be over and fucked me in his limo whilst head my was banging on the door inside the limo, I can't lie, sex still felt amazing and I loved ever minute of it and hated that I loved it. I loved how his big black dick slid in and out of my wet pussy but then he came inside me opened his door and threw me out onto the curb and drove away, I was just left there laying down on the curb. I lifted my head up and what I saw was a strip club, I got up and slowly walked over and then asked for a job, the mange said ok, but he said "go in the shower in the back you smell like shit" I got in the shower and washed my self carefully making sure every part of my body was clean and that my breasts were fresh and vibrant like they sued to be. After I got out of the shower the manger grabbed me and started to carry me I kicked and screamed and he threw me on to the stage in front of a crowd full of horny middle-aged men. The manger said "dance for money you whore" so then I put on a fake smile and pretended it was all an act; I grabbed my breasts and pushed them together started smiling for everyone then I started to masturbate on the stage in front of everyone together.

This felt so good, so existing, also I didn't give a fuck about anything anymore because I knew I would never love, and I would never have Mickey again, and he's gone forever and I can never get him back nor Ian or the man I thought I loved who's name I still do not yet know. I was still one the stage shaking my ass for the crowd and getting on the pole and doing anything that the crowd loves.

After a while the manager came back and grabbed me and took me to the back room were he fucked me, slapped my ass, and treated me like his own whore. After he took his dick out of my pussy he came in my hair threw me out of the building and gave me $70. I crawled away from the building crying, wondering what I had become. I got my self back on my feet ran back inside the building to find my diary, I was looking everywhere for it, I was about to give up before I saw the group of strippers giggling. I ran in and asked for it back and they said "go away you little whore" I got so angry and picked up a metal bat and said "throw it here or else" They threw to me and I ran out of the building back onto the streets whilst I was running I ran into a man I said "I am so sorry" and then he said "do you want to buy some magic?" I thought fuck it, my life is shit and fucked up now anyway.

I spent all my money and took this drug called magic, As soon as I took it I started to have my first trip, I was riding unicorns through a field dancing with marshmallows and singing with pineapples. The trip did not last long I think but before I knew it I woke up naked with my book all my money gone and at a party, I got up in a daze with cum dripping out of my pussy as I tried to get out, I came out of a room into a club with people dancing, I went around asking for help when this one man said he would give me a lift.

He took me out of the club and a drink of water, we both went inside his car he asked me where I was going I just said "anywhere" We drove for hours in silence. All I cared about was the lights we passed, I loved to look at the lights when I was in a care, I loved light. Then I saw a bird, at the moment I wanted to be a bird, I could see anything I wanted to see and go anywhere I wanted to go without being told what I can and cannot do. Before I knew it we had stopped on the same cliff I tried to kill my self.

My whole body was numb, what did he put in the water? He took his pants off and put me in the back seat and fucked me whilst I was in the back seat,

He didn't have to spike me, I would have fucked him anyway, the sex that I had with him was the worst sex of my life, his dick was so small, I could hardly feel anything. Shortly and I mean shortly afterwards he kicked me out and I passed out on the cliff as he drove off.

In the morning I woke up and was fucked up, I didn't want to live anymore; I was wondering if I jumped of this building would I be reborn bird?

I decided I was going to jump off the cliff and become a bird but before I did I would read one final story in my diary.

It was the only story that was not about cheating, and the time I was with Mickey. My amazing boyfriend, I love him so much, I remember the day we first met, I was alone and scared, I had just came to England for a holiday and I got lost and I didn't know what to do, I didn't know anyone and I forgot the hotel I was staying in, then when I was alone on the streets on England thinking I would have to sleep like a hobo tonight he came, Mickey, I saw him in his car, he parked up to me and he asked if I was ok. I said "I am lost, I have come from America and now I am lost" I broke down into tears and then he welcomed me into his car and said I could stay with him for the night and then he can help me, I loved the way he looked, sky blue eyes, long black hair, and he looked very fit and healthy, and everyone was right about British accents, they are so sexy, I think it just made me wet hearing his voice. I told him about how I wanted to come to England for my job, I was a stock broker coming to England because I know how strong the currency is here and I wanted to learn more to become successful (But I gave up everything for Mickey) He told me how interesting that was and how pretty I was, he told me about how he was a writer, a failed writer. He said he really liked to write fiction, I was really interested so I asked him if he could tell me one of his stories's to pass time whilst we drive to his house. So he said this is how it starts

"Chapter 1

The sun broke from the misty clouds and rose into the sky. There is shined upon a world quite different t all the others because this world was filled with magic, fighters beyond superhuman and compassion shared with the land, but don't forget the hero's because with out them there would be no story to tell. Upon this world lived the greatest of hero's and the beginning of legends, but do never forget even in the even in the most kind of lands always resides evil.

Legend beings long ago when Tyuto enslaved the whole of the land, making people dig day and night for the cube, (the cube can grant ultimate power to whom ever posses it) This is why Tyuto wanted the cube and so enslaved the whole of the people to look for it, but before he did this he was warned by the oracle he if carry's on down this path he will surly be defeated by a warrior of the land, but what he did next only scaled his fate.

Tyuto killed the oracle and enslaved the whole of the land, after this happened the warrior of the land rose from the chains that bound him to look for the cube; he was a warrior of great skill. He and Tyuto had a legendry battle that will never be forgotten. Hours into the battle the warrior of the land could not continue fighting he was to hurt, Tyuto was to strong but then the warrior of the land realised an ultimate attack that in one shot, killed Tyuto and ended his reign of terror

But the books about this battle have worn and the name of the hero we so admire is not forgotten for all of eternity but the only thing we do know is that he was the age of ten, and the reason you are only allowed to learn one of these is because the hero beat Tyuto only knowing of these art's, and because no one knows the art that can produce the ultimate attack that killed Tyuto and ended his reign of terror."

I was like "wow" this is very good, you should keep writing on it" he said "thank you" and before I knew it we were at his house. We both went inside, he opened a bottle of wine and we both sat down on the sofa and watched movies, we were soul mates, just reading this makes me want to cry. That night we both looked into eachother eyes and made love, he was so soft and caring, like he has always been when we made love with eachother, I can't remember anytime I've been happier than I have been at that moment when I first met him. I wish he could have read this page first. The next morning I asked him to come with me to America and he said "yes, of course" I fell in love with him that night and he fell in love with me too. He make me eggs on toast and tea with cookies, then came the funniest moment of all time, he went up stairs and came back down with a cane, fake moustache and suit with a top hat and pretended to be a really, really English man. He's so funny, later we spent the day cuddling and kissing and making love, later on he helped me find the hotel and the trade centre I needed to find, I was so thankful that I met him that day, I asked him if he could pick me up later and he agreed.

Whilst I was working in the trade centre I could not stop thinking about him

He was the perfect man for me also all my friends and even my sister will be so jalousie that my boyfriend is British, I smiled all day long and could not wait until the point where I get to see him again. A few hours later I got a text from him saying "here is another story I just made for you" I replied saying "thank you so much I will read it now love you xxxxx" I sat down after finished all my work and I read the story, the story went like this

"Chapter 1: simpa vs the monk

Day rises in the early hours of the morning in the monk's temple, It was time for young Marimitsu to wake up and fetch water for his fellow monks. He woke up and got out of bed and opened his closet to reach for his robe, but as he is about to open his closet suddenly Simpa jumps out and scares him, Marimitsu falls to the floor "You bastard die!!" says Marimitsu, he gets back up and punches Simpa through the wall

"Wow after all these years your still keeping you're silence eh?"

Simpa walks off and heads outside of the temple.

Whilst Marimitsu is getting dressed.

Meanwhile Simpa is lying down outside watching the monks train; a young monk goes up to Simpa and says

"You seem board. Want to fight?" Simpa says nothing, he stands up and bows, then draws his sword. They both walk on to the grass and walk 10ft away from each other.

Simpa storms in with his two swords, while the monk takes out his one sword and does the same, just as the monk is about to swing at him, Simpa jumps over his head and lands on his feet with his sword pointing to the back of the monks head, the monk pleads for his life "please don't kill me Simpa" cries the monk.

Marimitsu comes out of the temple ready for the water run and sees Simpa with his sword pointing to a crying monk heads, "Let him go Simpa" says Marimitsu with a sigh. Simpa withdraws his swords and starts to walk with Marimitsu to the village nearby for the water."

Chapter 2-the water run.

When Marimitsu and Simpa reach the village; they see the well and start to

walk towards it, but when they get there they discover there is no bucket.

"Damn Simpa let's split up and try and find someone with a clean bucket to

Spare ok?" Simpa nods and walks off, while Marimitsu goes over to a merchant.

Marimitsu asks the man if he has a clean bucket or knows anyone

who knows the merchant says "Sorry we do not sell buckets, but there

is an old man who walks around here with buckets try finding him."

Marimitsu said "Thank You" and walked off in search of the old man.

Meanwhile Simpa is walking alone alongside an abandoned building,

he hears a little girl screaming "help me!" Simpa jumps over the wall of the abandoned building and breaks in through the glass.

He closes his eyes to séance the spirits of the building,

he sees a little girl's spirit and a little boy's spirit on the 4th floor,

Simpa runs up the staircase and looks around only to see

the poor little boy and girl hanging from a hole if the 5th floor.

Simpa sighs, jumps in the air and catches the young children

Then he safely carries them outside and takes them over the wall, and starts to walk off in search of a clean bucket.

He sees an old man with buckets walking past,

But he made a vow of silence and cannot ask him

For a bucket so he runs off to find Marimitsu."

I sent him a text back saying "omg it's amazing" and then he replied saying " thank you so much you are the only one who likes them, I love you so much and sorry it's little long I just wanted you to have some of my work and if you want to I will write a story about you one day" Later he picked me up from work whilst we where in his car he asked me about work and all the things I did today, I thought to my self "omg he is the perfect man" I told him I learned a lot about investing and many other things I will need to know because I am still a student of 18 years old and I need to learn a lot more to become rich because I want to become rich" and after I told him about everything he told me what he did today, today he was working on a poem for me because he had a day off work from being a waiter and he said he will show me poem once we get home then he took me back to his house, we would talk for hours and then I started to cry when he said this to me

"My heart will say more than my lips can ever,

Come here feel my heart beat,

It beats for you and no one else,

All I see is you, all I hear is you

And you're all I ever wanted in a girl,

Built to perfection, never to feel my hearts


I stand alone in a world of many

And all I want is you, I want you to

Be with me, my heart is calling screaming

Out for you, it bleeds when it's in pain,

And breaths when you're not talking to


Sometimes am scared you will leave me,

But that will never happen, I know you love

Me and I love you too, and we will love eachother

Till the end of time and beyond.

You're all I want you're all I'll ever

Need, my heart is filled with you,

My puzzle to my heart is complete with

You, my soul entwined with you to forever

Be me and you because you my forever and true"

I started to cry and cry and tell him how much I love him and how I will always love him, a few days later I had to leave, he said he could not come to see me in America he had to stay in England, at the airport I hugged him and said " never let go" I was on that airplane for hours thinking about him and crying, the next day when I got back in America I went home into my apartment depressed but then a knock was on the door, it was home it was Mickey. I didn't care how he got here I am just so happy he is here now

And everyday with him was happy, not one sad moment and the sex was amazing, I just wish I could turn back time and never have cheated on him the first with the mans name I will never know, and just stayed with him and spent the rest of my life with him and not have fucked up his life and my own. But my sister told me he is happy now so that good. And I hope he forgets about me and has a happy life with his new girlfriend and I hope she never ever cheats on him and fucks his like up like I did with his and my own. I guess it's my time to go now, there is nothing left for my anymore, and I don't think they will ever be anything left. Goodbye now as I took my final steps to my death.

That's it, the final story I will read, I love Mickey, and I'm so stupid why did I cheat on him? My love used to be so pure, I've fucked up my life I'm a monster. Fuck my life what have I become?

I guess it's time to jump I took a few small steps to my cliff and welcomed death with a smile on my face. As soon as I was about to jump Mickey came I don't know how and I don't care how he got here I was happy, he said he loves me but, It was all in my head, he faded away in the wind, I leaned off the cliff in hopes I can be reborn a bird because a bird can be free, only with wings can you be free. As a human you are not.

As I fell to my death I was hoping that I would be free, but I was not, Mickey was in my mind the whole time and for the few seconds I was still alive I cried and begged for forgiveness. That's all I wanted from him now, forgiveness that and his heart, but that's too late, I cannot have this anymore and as my life slips always from this world just know that I will be reborn as a bird and then, then I can finally be free of everything once I am reborn I will forget who I once was and then I will be happy.

I don't know what happened after I died, I wonder if anyone will cry, or come to my funeral? Will they forgive me for what I have done to all of them? You know after I read that part about Mickey I could no longer live, what I did to him was inhumane, he is write I am a whore and this is the whore's diary and I was born an angle and I will die a whore. Born an angle die a whore I guess this is how my life is to be, no happy ending because I fucked up my own life and now I put pay for the mistakes I have made and the wrong I have done. I am sorry. I'm a bird now let me be free


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