Before I start Chapter 5, I want to point you guys in the direction of what I think is the beginning of an amazing story. It's nothing close to the subject of this story. There's only one chapter up so far, but show her some support!!! :D It's her first time publishing one of her stories. Check it out and comment!!! Here's the link ----> http://www.booksie.com/romance/novel/laylawest/breaking-her-barriers/chapter/1 I'll post it again at the end of the chapter!!!
Breaking her barriers
Ellie Stevens used to be an
ordinary little girl, with a perfect family, great friends and a
life full of happiness. But that life was shattered when a
scarring event occurred and her happiness soon turned into an
emotion that no child should have to feel. Now, at the age of
sixteen, Ellie is very guarded after having her heart broken
repeatedly since the age of ten. She is bullied by nearly
everyone she knows and she only has one friend. Having had her
trust being broken by numerous people she never lets anyone else
into her life as she is scared of being hurt again.
Logan Trent has had a pretty good life, with his two parents happily married with jobs that means he has lived in many different countries and he's only sixteen. When his parents are transferred to England he starts the new school year at Nightingale High School and Sixth Form College, now used to starting a new school as he has done so many times.
When the two meet, Logan instantly feels overprotective of Ellie as he soon witnesses the bullying himself. But as much as he tries to help, she just pushes him away. Will she keep on pushing him away or will she let him into her life and share her dark secret that haunts her to this day?
PS- Thankyou all soooo much for your support. I hope to see JUST AS MANY comments this chapter *hint hint* ;D lol. Go read the chapter if you haven't skipped my rant by now :D
We swam around until it
started getting dark out. If possible, it was even more beautiful
at night. By the time we made it back up to the top of the
waterfall, thousands of stars shone down on us, and the pale moon
left its reflection on the water below. I got in the car. The
temperature had quickly dropped so I was trembling violently by
the time Alex got in the other side.
"Wrap this around you," he said, handing me a blanket from the back seat. His hair had nearly dried on the way back, but mine was clinging to my face, still soaking wet. I quickly did as he said, clutching the blanket tightly while buckling my seatbelt.
The heat was blasting and after a few minutes, so I started to warm up. "Thanks," I muttered, pulling the blanket up around my neck.
"No problem," he said, flashing me a smile. We lapsed into another silence. As we pulled up to the house, he finally said something. "What do you want for dinner?"
"I dunno. Can we just have a salad or something? I don't feel like eating meat today," I said.
"Sure," he replied.
Half an hour later, we were sitting at the table eating. "Aren't you even wondering?" he asked all of a sudden.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused, and quite frankly, tired. I just wanted to go to bed at this point.
"I told you that I would show you that I can control myself," he said pointedly.
"And?" I asked.
"I haven't done anything," he said, smiling triumphantly.
"Congrats," I muttered dryly. "You've gone a few hours without doing anything inappropriate." I stuck a forkful of lettuce in my mouth.
He was quiet for a few moments before he said, "You could be happy with me Jamie." He almost sounded sad.
"I don't want to be happy with you," I said simply. "I want to be with my family. I want to go home."
"Jamie, this is your-"
"-home now. Yeah, I got it," I said. My eyes stung and brimmed with tears. Every moment I spent here was a step closer to my end. I was scared, and afraid, and alone... I looked down at my plate, refusing to look at him. I heard his chair scrape against the white tiles of the kitchen floor.
"Look at me," he said gently. I felt his rough fingers lightly grasping my chin. I looked up, unsure of what else I could do. He was on his knees beside me. After I had maintained eye contact with him for a few moments, he said, "I love you, and I want you to be happy, but you have to try. Please, just try to be happy with me. Stop fighting me one hundred percent of the way. Stop thinking, and just feel what I have to offer you. I love you. That's what you wanted. What you've wanted for a long time, but you're scared, and that's okay. But, please, give me a chance to make you love me."
"I don't want the kind of 'love' you're offering okay?" I hissed at him. "If I was interested in that kind of love, I would've lost my virginity a long time ago."
"Is it a crime to want to have sex with you Jamie?" he muttered, sounding annoyed.
"That's not the only kind of love I'm offering Jamie. I want to take care of you. I want to make you smile. I want to give you everything you've ever wanted. I want your heart. I want you to love me as much as I love you," he said very softly, ending with a whisper.
"But I can't do that," I said quietly, my voice breaking. He wiped away a tear that had somehow escaped.
"I'm not asking you to do it all at once," he said. "Just one step at a time." He went back to his seat, and we finished eating. I took a shower and got into bed while he stayed out in the living room.
I was nearly asleep when the door opened. I didn't bother opening my eyes. If I did, I would never be able to fall asleep. The bed dipped as the covers lifted. I felt him get closer to me and put and around my waist. "Jamie?" he whispered.
"Mmmm?" I sighed, sleepily.
"I want to prove to you that you can trust me," he said softly in my ear. His warm breath tickled my skin.
"Tomorrow..." I mumbled. "I'm tired." I laid there, sinking into the coolness of the blankets. Alex's lips pressed lightly against the back of my neck. I sighed contentedly. The act was comforting. His hand caressed my shoulder softly. As his lips trailed across my shoulders, his hand traced down my arm, to my waist. It felt nice in this dreamy state to be close to someone. The simplest brushes of skin against skin left my body feeling relaxed.
With the lightest amount of pressure on my shoulder I was lying flat on my back. His lips never once left my skin. Down across my collar bone they trailed. I started drifting back to sleep, the affect of his lips on my skin was so calming. The slip of fabric against my skin woke me up just the slightest bit. I was now aware of my nightgown being pulled over my head. I felt drowsy. I should be wide awake. I should be stopping them. "Alex?" I managed to get out, now scared.
"Don't worry love. I put something in your drink to relax you..." he mumbled, fumbling with the clasp of my bra. I'd worn one to bed ever since the first night.
"I don't want... you to..." I slurred out. I could feel everything he was doing. I was aware of it, but I couldn't seem to form a clear thought.
"Remember what I said. Just relax," he muttered, slipping the bra off of me. My breathing deepened. My head felt fuzzy, like it was buzzing. I almost felt sick, but not quite. "I'm going to prove to you that you can trust me, that I can control myself."
I could do nothing but lie there as he stripped me of my underwear. I could feel his erection pressing against me. "Please....... Alex.... Don't.... Don't do this.... to me..." I forced the words out, though he probably couldn't understand them.
His lips pressed softly against mine. Honey and vanilla. It tasted so sweet on my lips. With some coaxing, his lips separated mine, and he deepened the kiss. His fingertips brushed against my sides, again and again where there was no longer clothing to stop his fingers' incessant search. His hands brushed against the curves of my breasts. I gasped.
I reached up, placing my hands on his shoulders, weakly trying to push him away. My clouded mind grasped certain details. The way his shoulders felt underneath my hands. Strong, warm. I could feel his muscles moving, just beneath the surface. The earthy, yet clean smell of his skin. The rough, but gentle way he handled me. His love. That was undeniable. His passion was easy to see. It wasn't just lust. He honestly believed that he loved me.
His mouth made its way down to one of my breasts. He drew on the nipple, adding just the slightest amount of pressure with his soft lips. I whimpered. How could I refuse him when he had drugged me? How could I fight back when I could barely move, yet feel everything that he was doing to me? His tongue curled around the, now stiff, bud. He let his teeth scrape against it before switching to the other one, giving it the same treatment. I sighed in pleasure, but at the same time, I was trying not to cry. He couldn't do this to me. As nipped at my flesh I whimpered, managing to say, "I hate you." It came out sounding more like a gasp, but I knew he had heard me.
"That's okay. Hate is a passionate emotion," he whispered against my flesh. "I love you, though. Nothing can change that. You can hate me all you want. People say all the time that the line between love and hate is a very thin one."
It occurred to me that he thought I had been waiting for the right person to love. He was wrong. I had my own reasons for not dating. I didn't want to fall in love. I hadn't since the time I was fourteen, when my parents had gotten a divorce. It was really hard for me at that point. My father had never been a great man. He hadn't hit us or anything. He wasn't and alcoholic or a drug addict. Like I said before, my life wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either. He gambled though. I'm not talking about the kind in Vegas where you drop ten dollars a machine. No, my dad liked to play poker. Sometimes with his friends, but mostly online.
Within the last three years of my parents' marriage, he managed to make our family go from 'out of debt' to '15,000 dollars in debt'. He was horrible to my mom during their 16 years of marriage. He always talked down to her, made her feel stupid, made her feel like she wasn't worth anything. My mom stuck with him through everything because she believed that she made a promise to God when she married him, and she would do her best to see it through. My dad ended up leaving her, and on that last day, every hurtful thing you could imagine came out of his mouth.
It wasn't just my mom either. He used to call me stupid all the time. I was never good enough for him. He had always wanted a boy. Someone he could watch football games with. He had tried to get me involved with sports from an early age. Soccer, softball, and the more he pushed, the more I resented it. The only time he supported me in anything I did was when I did something that he could brag about. However, when my grades were at an all time low and people were making fun of me at school, my dad was right there to make things worse. All in all, he wasn't the worst father, but he wasn't a good one either.
I didn't want to end up like my mom. Yes, she eventually found someone who loved her, and treated her right, but she had to go through so much heart ache. She had been treated like dirt by someone who was supposed to love her unconditionally. I refused to let myself get close to anyone. I told my family that I didn't care, that I didn't want to get married at any point in my life. It was a lie, but it wasn't as simple as that. I didn't want to be hurt, and right now, I knew I didn't want any of this. And, it wasn't because I was scared.
Yes... Alex was gentle, sometimes. He was kind, once again, sometimes. He loved me, that much was easy to see. I did... enjoy, to some extent, when he touched me. I wanted to hit myself for even forming that though, but it was true. My body enjoyed it, but my mind screamed for me to get away. If only I could get away.
It was about then that I realized the effects of whatever he had given me were starting to wear off. He resumed soft, yet persistent kisses against my lips. I realized he was naked, and that he had been since he had gotten into bed with me. When this thought had finally come to me, his knees were already between my legs, spreading them. Panic flooded my mind. The time had come. He had decided not to wait any longer. I was quiet, but a single tear leaked out of the corner of my eye.
No amount of screaming would stop him from taking what he wanted. I felt his hot, stiff flesh poise at my entrance. I squeezed my eyes shut. I was afraid of the pain. My friends said it hurt the first time, and that was when the guy was being gentle. I didn't want to be this close to him. I didn't want this memory of being with him. I knew that argument was a ignorant one though. I'd never forget him, even if he let me go this instant and I never saw him again. No, he was burned into my mind, like a scar that would never heal.
I waited for him to thrust. I waited for him to take what he had wanted for a year and a half. I waited but nothing happened. After a minute or so, I opened my eyes to see him staring at my face, observing it. "Are you calmed down now?" he said gently, seemingly worried about me.
"No," I said, my voice breaking. It was hard to speak. The lump caught in my throat kept getting in the way. Although I had told him I wasn't ready, I closed my eyes again, still waiting for that painful moment where he took my virginity. I could still feel his hot flesh against me. I could feel him throbbing for release, and yet, he didn't move
"Open your eyes and look at me," he said, his voice soothing. I did as he said. "Do you trust me?" he asked. I shook my head no. He sighed. "Do you trust me not to hurt you?" I shook my head no once again. This time, a tear streamed down my face. His gaze was piercing as he looked into my eyes. "Do you trust me not to hurt you on purpose?" he asked. I stayed still, staring straight back at him.
My eyes held a simple question. 'When are you going to hurt me?' He still held my gaze. He reworded the question. "Do you think I'll hurt you on purpose?" he asked. I shook my head no. He sighed in relief. "Then I'm making some progress."
"What do you mean?" I whispered, speaking for the first time in what felt like ages.
"I wanted to prove to you that you could trust me. I told you that when we made love was your choice. I'm not going back on my word Jamie. You said that I couldn't control myself. I'm showing you that I can. You don't have to be afraid of doing something that will set me off. When it comes to this point, as much as I want to continue, I'll stop if you tell me to," he said.
He laid back on the sheets, his body separating from mine. Cool air replaced his warm body. "Alex?" I said.
"Thank you," I mumbled.
"You have no idea how tempting you are," he growled lowly.
"Sorry?" I said hesitantly.
"Don't worry about it. I like it," he said. I could almost hear the grin in his voice. He pulled my body against his, groaning, but calming down. I didn't complain. I had somehow, once again managed to escape with my virginity. He could hold me all he wanted to.
COMMENT!!!!!!!! (I want to see what you think! I want to know that you're reading, so comment, even if it's just "KMU :D", okay??? :D)
LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Me likes the likes :D)
FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I dunno why, I felt like I had to put it in there :D)
this was about 7 pages long. I'm exhausted... I know you guys waited 2 weeks for this update. I'm not gonna use the "christmas break is coming" excuse. Sadly, I'm going the use the "Midterms are next week and I have to study". SORRY!!!!!!!!! I know, I suck. But after New Years, there are no more liable excuses!!!!!! :D Don't panic. I didn't mean that I wasn't going to upload until after New Years. I don't know exactly when at this moment, but it will definitely be before christmas. Once again, I don't know when. I'll comment on the chapter when I find out :D
sorry for the long author's note at the beginning. I just think that the story is WONDERFUL so far. Go check it out :D
CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D