Permotio ran out of the dimly lit chamber. The rain was falling from the stars, in her mind, and from her eyes. She needed to find a place to escape, but she had nowhere. Her whole world was based around these ancient walls. "A home is a house with love." Permotio remembers what her mother said when she was just three years old. "A castle is a house with strong people to protect those inside. A castle is never a home. A castle represents stability, but not love." She did not understand those words at the time; she was too young to understand. Later that year, just before technology raised the war's death toll, the Metueres left their town, and came to live in the castle she called a house. It is not a home; there is no love, just as her mother, her own Mater, predicted.
Never in the entire history of her memory, had Permotio been scared by her own Pater. Wearing purple may not seem a tragedy, but when put into context, it is the greatest shame brought to the Metueres. Permotio picked up the leather bound black diary and her quill. This is what she wrote:
September 18, 2007, 7pm. Meeting with Pater.
Pater is angry with me. I asked to be one of the peace fighters, but I wish to wear purple at my wedding. It shall be the greatest marriage of recent Metuere history; I want to show my loyalties to Metuere tradition. Because of my desire to be a fighter, it would bring shame on my family. Showing my loyalty to both peace and my family's status would bring shame. My heart is with the person my Pater wants me to marry. His name is unknown to me, but he knows all about me. He knows all of my deepest secrets over the past twenty years. I still have no knowledge of his name or his status in the Metuere castle. I fear that my time in the Metuere family is gone, and I must start learning how to care for myself.
Permotio yawned. The moon had not yet taken the place of the beaming sun. She heard a cough behind her. She spun around in her swivel chair and cautiously looked into the eyes of the person behind her. She smiled "Good evening, Libidinosus, has your sister sent you?"
Libidinosus returned the smile. For a teenager as young as he, his mature looks and attitudes towards life astounded Permotio. She had rarely seen someone as young and mature as Libidinosus, and yet... Something was pulling at Permotio's heartstrings. The cords that bound Permotio to Verna made this feeling forbidden. Libidinosus spoke with blind wisdom. "My mistress, how great is this...privilege to see you on this night!" He bowed, following the standard regulations for a member of the servant family greeting royalty. "I do not come on orders from Verna or others. I come from the orders of the fear inside my heart. I wish to tell you of my fear, if you permit, ma'am."
Permotio smiled. She tapped the chair she was sitting on - she stood up carefully as her servant's brother was speaking - and sat on the table. "Talk Libidinosus, talk freely about all on your mind. Here, sit down, and we can talk in privacy. No one will interrupt us. Speak as you wish."
Libidinosus sat, with his amber eyes focused fully on Permotio. "I know not how to speak freely, as I am in too much fear. You are in danger, ma'am, and so is your dearest Mater. If Verna hears of this the consequences...I fear more to think of them!" Libidinosus looked at Permotio with eyes of pure fear.
"Calm, Libidinosus, for I can protect you from all in this castle. Is it a Metuere or an Odium who makes you so fearful? Speak, I shall not tell Verna or anyone else about this conversation." Permotio's words had the intention of calming Libidinosus, but this was not the case. He was not fully cured of his fear; rather he did, at least for that moment, no longer fear the consequences.
"You must, obviously, know of the war, that has been raging for centuries before your father's birth. I have stumbled across this while on my duties." He pulled out an ageing piece of paper, written on it was ancient writing. "I overheard part of your earlier conversation with your father, and his words echo in my brain. I would like to apologize now for listening to your private conversation."
Permotio blinked in confusion. Then a wave of recognition seeped through the confusion. She repeated the lines her own Pater had said many times in her youth: "The words of the ancients flow through your veins."
He nodded, unmoved by the confusion in her voice. "Maybe, these are the words of the ancients that flow through you." Permotio reached for the paper carefully. She examined the text on the paper. Slowly, the pictures of many centuries became words. "Is there something wrong, ma'am?"
Permotio nodded. "I understand this. To me, it is no longer pictures. Look, Libidinosus, they are words, English words!"
Libidinosus had a puzzled expression on his face. "Ma'am, they are still pictures to me. Read out what it says, ma'am. Maybe these really are the ancient words in your veins! What does it say?"
Permotio could hear the excitement replacing the fear in Libidinosus' voice. "I'm not entirely sure, but I'll do my best." Permotio's voice changed pitch as she read:
Once in a full moon as bright as night,
A child was born to serve the fight.
A child who'll work for peace 'till death,
A child who'll utter "peace" in her last breath.
Libidinosus stared at Permotio as she repeated it. "I do not understand, ma'am. What does it mean?"
Permotio closed her eyes. In her mind's eye, she could see the pictures forming a portrait. She screamed at what she saw. "Libidinosus, the child is I." Tears fell for a second time that night. She did not know what was going to happen to her. She was fighting for peace. She was soon going to join the military. She was born on the stroke of midnight on Friday 13th, twenty years ago. The tears and rain continued to fall, just as Cavum walked in.
"Permotio, Libidinosus, I need to speak with you both. It is of high importance." Cavum was wearing his riding clothes; this involved a mahogany cloak and trousers. He was wearing his white shirt with the top two buttons deliberately cut off, unconventionally of course. His riding boots were black leather as standard, but were unusually blood stained. "I am dying. The blood you see on my boots are sleeves...It all belongs to me. I have been so depressed. I know too much for my own good. Take me home, Permotio; take me home to where I belong."
Libidinosus ran over to Cavum the moment he collapsed to the floor. "Help me, ma'am, to take him to the Infirmary. The doctor will know what to do."
Permotio joined Libidinosus by her brother's side. Her porcelain white hands looked even paler in the light of the flickering candles. She reached to touch his neck. "There is no hope. My own brother is dead. Dead and cold, and I didn't say goodbye. Fare thee well, dear brother." Permotio stood up and looked down on Cavum's body. She had seen dead bodies many times before, but only this one had moved her to silent tears since...
At the young age of thirteen, Permotio was forced to help the doctor as part of her experience of growing up. A girl no older than Permotio was brought into the Infirmary. She had been involved in yet another shoot out between the Metueres and Odiums. Her stomach was bleeding heavily from a bullet flying through it. She was unconscious, and her name was unknown. Her Identification Card had been lost in the transition from the battlefields to the Infirmary. Permotio helped as much as she could, continuously packing and repacking the bleeding wound, and checking the girl's pulse. After an eternal two minutes in the Infirmary, the doctor proclaimed the girl was dead. She was named Jane Doe 3,124,891 for the records. There had been over three million unnamed dead females since the war had begun. The doctor seemed unmoved by the death of a minor. That night, Permotio swore to fight for peace.
Libidinosus forced Permotio to the present. "Ma'am, we must take Cavum to the Infirmary for the death to be recorded. Ma'am, we must take the body while it is still warm. It is quickly losing heat in this cold chamber. Shall I call another servant to help me carry your brother? Your hands must not touch fresh blood, for it will make you impure. Touching fresh blood is just as bad as being deflowered."
Permotio ignored Libidinosus's words. She scooped her freshly dead brother into her arms, immediately covering her dress in blood. "Open the doors as we walk. I have lost my purity already. I have been deflowered. Now open the doors. Cavum is not entirely light."
Libidinosus did as she so sincerely asked. He could not hear the words Permotio was whispering into her brother's ear. "Ma'am," he said carefully eventually, breaking the silence between them, "Ma'am, we are here. This is the Infirmary."