Darkness filled my dreams, as they always have since my dad died. And just like every darkened dream, pain followed soon after. This pain was different from any other pain I'd felt before. It was worse than being stabbed, or burning to death. This pain was more excruciating than any other pain I've felt in my life. And every time the pain becomes too much for me to bare, I wake up screaming.
My mom doesn't even bother coming in to the room anymore, she knows I'm just having another nightmare. Every once in a while, I'll call for her, just so I can have her warm arms hugging me. Tonight was not one of those nights, so I just glance at the clock before falling back into the darkness and pain once more.
The high-pitched squeals from my alarm clock wake me. 'Monday, the first day of my junior year.' I think to myself. I groan as I rise from my bed, still feeling a little of pain from my dream. I slowly stumble in to my bathroom, where I shower and get my raven black hair under control. God, this thing was so hard to cope with. After ten minutes of trying to straighten it, I shrug and put it into a ponytail. I allow a few bangs to fall infront of my face, loving how they hide my eyes and emotions.
I look in the mirror as I put on my black mascara and eye liner. They both seem to darken my brown eyes, making them look completely black under my lashes. I decide not to add any blush to my pale body and go straight to my blood red lipstick. I check my teeth to see if they're red from the lipstick and I seem in the all clear.I look again in the mirror at my face. Pale white skin with dark brown eyes and straight white teeth. I don't smile that much anymore, I have no reason to. My father was my life, and my soul, the only man I ever loved. Now that he's gone, I see no reason to live.
I hurry back into my room to put on my new outfit I bought just for today. I took off my black t-shirt and shorts and quickly replaced them with ripped black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt that reads in red,'Fuck my life.' My teachers know better than to say anything against my outfit. They think it's part of how I'm dealing with my dad's death, which it is, sort of. I pull on my black leather boots and grab my black leather jacket before heading out the door. I don't even bother eating breakfast or saying bye to my mom, knowing it won't help my day anyway.
School is only two blocks away from my house so I simply walk as always. Other kids in my neighborhood are walking around me, but they always keep their distance. Only my best friend, Betty walks up to me.
"Hey Diana, what's up?" she asks a little bored. I pull my jacket back a little so she can read my shirt.
"Ah, it's one of those days." she remarks, smirking at the words. I keep a small frown on my face but on the inside I'm smirking as well.
"Yep, I'm just going to try to get through this day with out any problems." I tell her.
"You know that's impossible with the blonde hoe's around." she whispers and as if on cue, I see a bleach blonde walk past us. Two regular blondes follow close behind her and I roll my eyes at them. All three dressed in skimpy clothes and bright make up. I nearly gag at the smell of their perfume. The bleach blonde, Martha, glances at me before turning and whispering something to the blonde on her left. The blonde grins and slows down, keeping out of my line of vision. I feel the urge to turn my head but go against it, trying to act disinterested.
I barely even know what happens before I end up on the ground, scraping the skin off my knee and palms. I gasp at the pain but don't cry out. After all, I've felt worse pain than this. I look up to see Martha and the two blondes laughing at me. Betty kneels down at my side and tries to make me stand up, but I just sit there. A few other people around us look and start to laugh along with the stupid whores. Betty again tugs at my arm, and finally, I raise up into standing position. I barely even realize what I do next until it's too late. I lash out at Martha and end up punching her in the nose.
She squeals in pain and yells at me, "You stupid bitch! I just got this redone! I hope you enjoy your first day of school because your second day will be pure hell." I see her glare at me through her fingers and I can't help but smirk at her. I hear Betty's laughter behind me and we both walk away from the scene. I didn't feel like taking shit today, so it felt good to put Martha in her place for now.
"Damn, I've never heard Martha squeal so loud. I couldn't believe the look on her face when you punched her. I should've taken a picture." Betty says to me. I nod agreeing with her, knowing full and well what my plans would've been for that picture. I look back to see how the scenes changed, but I can't seem to focus when my eyes locked on the boy behind us.
His eyes were a perfect mix of gray and blue and his skin had a small tan to it. His hair was dark brown with bleach blonde highlights. I could see the black eye liner he used and it popped his eye color out even more. He wore a black shirt and showed off his biceps and abs underneath. Perfectly fitted jeans hung from his hips and he had black motorcycle boots to finish off the masterpiece. He looked at me and smirked, before looking ahead and returning his lips in to a hard line.
I inhaled sharply, and Betty noticed immediately. She turned her head around and glanced at him. She whipped her head around and glared at me. "It's the bleach blonde hoe's boy toy. Don't even think for a second that you'd have a shot with him. He only goes out with the girls who want to fuck. Virgins like us are nothing to him." 'But I want to fuck him' I think in my head.
I was walking to school when I noticed the large crowd across the street. My body felt numb from last night's shots so I was feeling confident as I walked over to the crowd. I didn't like large crowds so I started telling people to clear out. As always, they listened to me and started walking away. When the crowd was noticeably smaller I squeezed my way into the middle. Martha, Holly, and Lola, were in the middle. Martha held her face and I could see the tears slipping through her fingers and on to the concrete. I wanted to laugh at the sight, but went against it, knowing it'd be bad if I did so.
"Jesus Martha, what the hell happened?" I asked her. She glanced up at me for one second then she was spontaneously in my arms. I took a couple steps back from her, but she clung on like a stupid tick.
"Oh Josh! Thank God you're here! A stupid bitch punched me in the face and broke my new nose!" she sobbed into my shoulder. I grabbed her arms and pulled them off me. I looked at her face and sure enough, her nose was at an unsettling angle. She covered her nose again and tried to cry on my shoulder but I pushed her away.
"Sorry Martha, but I can't be seen cuddling with a cry baby." I told her dully.
"What? But Ithought on Saturday..."
"Saturday was just a one night thing. Sorry babe. See you around." I walked away from the crowd then.
"You asshole! You're just like that gothic whore Diana!" Martha screamed at me. Diana? I've never heard of her, and I don't think I've ever fucked her. Must be some new chick. As I'm walking down the sidewalk, two girls are infront of me. One girl is in all black including her hair. The other wore a white tank top with black skulls all over them and black shorts to show off her pale legs.
I see the black covered girl turn her head around and lock her eyes on mine. Her face seems to be in awe, as if she's never seen me before. I smirk at her and know that this must be Diana, the new girl. I only smirk for a second before turning my attention ahead of them and see Alex, my closest friend. He always waits at the front doors for me, probably wanting to tell me how his last girl was. The other girl in the white tank top looks back to me and glares. I ignore her and the other girl and keep my eyes on Alex.
I reach the school doors and Alex is at my side in a second. "J., you're never going to believe who I fucked last night. It was Martha, can you believe it?" My eyes harden at him and I whisper, "Martha and I fucked on Saturday, what do you mean you fucked her last night?" Alex squirms uneasily under my gaze and he knows he's in trouble. 'Good, the little ass needs to feel fear every once and a while.' I think darkly to myself.
"Sorry man, it was at a party and we were all drunk. I don't think she would've remembered it, she was so wasted." He told me. I nod at him. Well that changed things a bit, but I'm glad I wasn't around her anymore. Alex and I walk into the school and I see the two girls again. I elbow Alex and point at leather girl. "Who's that chick over there?" I ask a little interested.
"Who, little miss 'Fuck my life' ? That's Diana, Betty's best friend." he tells me.
"She new?" I ask.
"No, I think she signed my yearbook a couple year ago, but she was much brighter back then. Ever since her dad died, she's been all gloom and doom." he reports.
Hmm, so she's not new, and I've never met her before in my life. "She a virgin?" I ask Alex, taking him by suprise.
"Um, Well... I... don't... really know that. I think she is, but you never know." he tells me. I nod and continue walking. I suddenly feel a slight strain in my pants. I glance down and I see my erection. 'Damn, just what I need. Every girl seeing that I'm turned on.' My frown deepens and I try to slide my shirt over it. Did Martha do that? No, I'm pissed at her from fucking my best man. Diana maybe? She is pretty hot but I shouldn't interested in a virgin. 'If she's a virgin.' my mind says to me. I shake my head butI have a small smirk on my face as I walk into my first class.