~~We lay wrapped in each other's arms for a few short moments before pulling ourselves apart and putting our clothes back on. We walked out to the car and I reluctantly got in. I didn't want our time together to be over so soon. My heart grew heavy as he started the engine and began to head home.
"Do we have to go back right away?" I said hoping my voice didn't sound as desperate as I felt.
He reached over and squeezed my hand. "Why Ali, where do you want to go?"
I sighed heavily. "I don't care, just not back to the house yet… I want to just be with you a little bit longer".
I was surprised at the sudden wave of nervousness I felt wash over me. Geeze Ali, you weren't so nervous with him a little while ago… The truth was that I was much more comfortable with Delaney while we were having sex than I was when we were just talking. When we were making love I knew without a doubt that he wanted and desired me, but as soon as the clothes came back on I became so awkward and insecure about his feelings. I was annoyed at my constant need for reassurance from him. It seemed childish and my rational mind knew that he wouldn't do any of the things he did for me if he didn't truly care about me. But the irrational female part of my mind couldn't stop focusing on the fact that I was with someone way out of my league
"Are you hungry?" He asked his voice breaking through the rambling going on in my mind.
"Starving" I said realizing that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.
"Good we'll go grab a bite before we go home then." He pulled out his cellphone and called Norma letting her know we would not be joining them for dinner.
A short while later we pulled into a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant in a rather questionable part of town. The building was tiny and weathered. The parking lot was a mixture of dirt and overgrown grass. There were also large pieces of wood scattered around marking the spaces. I was surprised that he even parked his car there.
He took one look at my face and started laughing. "Ali, don't make that face this is hands down the best Mexican food I've ever had."
"I didn't make a face" I replied defensively, knowing damn well that I probably did.
He took my hand as we walked into the restaurant. The inside was shabby but clean, and the place was packed. We were seated right away in the last empty booth they had available. I was absent mindedly munching on the chips and salsa as I took in my surroundings.
Tacky sombreros adorned the walls along with some interesting pieces of Mexican art. The music was a tad too loud and the other patrons were even louder than the music. I wondered how Delaney even found this place. It was a far cry from the fancy restaurant he too me to a couple of weeks ago, but it did have a certain kind of charm and I really enjoyed all of the organized chaos surrounding us.
I looked over at Delaney admiring how handsome he was sitting back in the booth with his shirt unbuttoned at the collar and his hair tousled from our earlier escapade.
"Do you do that on purpose?" I asked.
He looked at me questioningly "Do what?"
"You know, look sexy even when you're just sitting there?"
He smiled "Actually I was just wondering the same thing about you. I've never seen anyone eat a chip seductively until now"
I immediately blushed. "Delaney I am hardly sexy, and certainly not in the same realm of sexiness as you. I wonder what you even see in me most of the time." My tone was light, but there was definitely a hint of honesty behind my words.
He put his beer down and leaned forward. "Have you looked in the mirror lately Ali, you are gorgeous. There is not one part of your body that I would change. I love every inch."
My felt my cheeks begin to burn and took a sip of water in a futile attempt to cool down.
"Say it Alivia."
"Say what?" I asked innocently
"Say whatever it is that's making you that crease in your forehead. You always do that when you have something to say to me that you think I may not like. I'm observant remember."
I took a deep breath. I needed to be honest with him… keeping secrets only led to trouble.
"I have tried to put it together in my head… and asked myself one thousand times WHY you would even be interested in anything with me. You're sexy, handsome, rich, and successful. I'm just an ordinary girl about to graduate high school. We don't match up. Surely there are droves of women who would jump your bones in a moment... why me? "
I immediately looked down at my drink unable to look directly at him. My heart was pounding and my face was on fire. Why did I just do that ... I immediately regretted the words.
He was silent for a few moments trying to get his thoughts together obviously a bit shocked at my directness. "Ali the day you walked into my office asking for money to go to Mexico changed the way I looked at you. I remember watching you walk towards my desk in your denim skirt and wondered how someone so short could have such beautiful long legs. I found your nervousness cute, but what really got to me was the anger that flared up in you when I told you no. I saw it flicker across your face, I knew you hated me at the moment and as sick as it sounds that turned me on. Nobody fights me Ali, and I liked the fight that I saw in you. I liked it so much that I had already mentally fucked you all over my office by the time you left."
I gasped covering my mouth with my hand and thought back to that day. I would have never guessed what filthy things were going on in his head at the time.
He laughed at my reaction "Ali baby, you made it quite difficult for me to concentrate for the remainder of the day. So imagine my delight when you busted into my office in the middle of the night half naked with an attitude. It took all of my strength not to completely take you that night.
I slowly moved my hand away from my mouth. "You know I would have let you if you wanted to"
He smiled. "I know you would have, but I didn't want you to let me. I wanted you to want it. Besides I knew there would be no going back once we crossed that line… I almost hoped you wouldn't be waiting for me in my room that Friday night.
"Why? Because I'm so young?"
"Well yes, I'm only a man Ali, and once you walked into my office that day there was no going back for me. I wanted you so badly… I felt this need to make you mine, to be the first to explore your beautiful body…" He paused for a moment taking my hand across the table.
"I want you to know that you mean much more to me than that now …I have real feelings for you that surprise me. It's been a long time since I have felt more than a physical attraction for a woman. I certainly didn't expect this. But those are my own demons to face, not yours. I don't want you to doubt yourself. If anything, I don't deserve something as innocent and good as you in my life. "
My heart was swelling to the point of bursting. How did I get so lucky? "I'm so glad that I waited in your room that night Delaney, it was one of the best nights of my life. I've heard girls talk about their first times…and it usually isn't like the first time you gave me. I wouldn't change a thing…well except for the whole secret road trip to Georgia thing."
He burst out laughing, happy for the lightening of the mood. "Me too Ali."
"Are you still mad at me about that?" I asked jokingly.
"Yes, but especially at night when I'm by myself in bed."
"I'm mad at myself at night too."
He winked at me as our food had arrived. We ate our dinner, which I hated to admit was the best Mexican food I had ever had. The conversation was light and easy. It was nice to see him relaxed for the first time in days. I silently prayed that this whole ordeal would be over soon so we could have more dinners together like this.
We finished and were really headed home this time, except my heart wasn't heavy. I held his hand and rested my head on his shoulder the entire ride, completely content.