At the end of my lesson I head out to the school grounds for lunch but pause at the square window of a history classroom. Mr.Schu is sat behind the desk. His hands run through his bouncy curls as he narrows his eyes at the paperwork in front of him.
I knock on the door and his head lifts. I smile and push the door open a little.
"Can I have a word?" I ask.
A worry line creases his forehead but he reluctantly nods me in.
I push the door shut behind me and wander over to his desk, leaning against the side of it.
"Watcha doing?" I ask, peering over the desk.
"Grading papers" he mumbles with his eyes on his work.
I let out an overdramatic huff and lean back a little on the desk, popping out my chest and crossing one knee over the other. I decided to go for more subtle sexy today. A pair of skinny jeans, wedges and a tight navy vest top.
"I'm sure I can think of something better you could be doing-"
I tap my finger on the piece of paper he is reading so he finally looks up at me. I cock my head with a smile.
"I'm grading papers" he says and looks back down.
I glance at the square window in the door. "I mean, I know there are no blinds but I'm sure we could find a blind spot over-"
"Gabby" he cuts me off, clearly frustrated.
I flip my head back to him and raise an eyebrow. He has this haggard look on his face.
"I said, I'm grading papers"
I roll my eyes and push myself off the desk, "Fun sucker"
"Wait, Gabby" he calls me back when I reach the door. I turn. "I actually do want to talk to you about something"
"Oh?" I come closer, intrigued.
"Yes" he clears his throat. "About last night. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. That wasn't me. I've never acted like that before. I'm sorry" he rushes.
I laugh. "You're sorry? Don't be sorry, I should be thanking you. Last night was incredible" my eyebrows almost shoot to my hairline at the memory.
His eyebrow arches, "Really?"
"Hell yeah!" I laugh, "I guess I like it rough...who knew?" I bite my lip with a grin.
He shakes his head and blinks hard as if to shake off my words.
"Well...that's a lot off my mind"
"But, I did mean what I said about me losing my career over this" his voice suddenly becomes serious and his eyes seem to pierce right through me.
"I know" I manage to say through a whisper.
"And right now, my career is my life. Sad, I know, but it's true"
His words hit me like a fist in the stomach.
"What are you trying to say?"
He props his elbows on the desk and laces his fingers, holding them just under his chin like he's in a business meeting about to settle a deal.
"It means that this" he tilts his entwined hands between us, "needs to stop"
I let out a cut-up, breathy gasp.
"At least for a while" he continues with wide-eyes after noticing my reaction. "I need to clear my head. I need time to think this all through"
"It's just...a bit of fun, Will" I say, trying to sound like I have everything under control but my voice comes out shaky and I have to move so I can prop myself up on a student desk.
"I know" he nods then runs his fingers through his hair. "But we did it in the choir room, Gabby. That was stupid and reckless. We could have been caught so easily and that would have been it for me. For God sake, we haven't even been using protection" Red rings form around his eyes as if he's about to cry. "You're like a drug, Gabby. I can't seem to stay away. I need...I need to learn to control myself around you and I need you to be in on this with me. No more advances, Gabby, I mean it"
A shiver runs through me like ice down my back. The look on his face almost makes me want to cry. A drug. The words cut into my heart. I've been described as a drug before and it did not end well.
"Okay" I nod because that's all I feel that I can say and almost run out of the door. "I'm not pregnant by the way" I manage to add, staring at the door with my hand on the handle, "I took a test last night"
"Oh..." he says, "Well...good"
I nod and leave. I press my back into the wall and clench my eyes shut. I know that this is a good thing. Self control is vital. At least one of us has to have it for this to work. I learnt that the hard way.