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Without You, I'm Lost

Novel By: Nikkibeth

(FINISHED) *Sequel to Hungry for Love and Characters from Baby Let Me In* Carmen McKenna is the daughter of Dylan and Kylie McKenna, and has it made. Perfect parents, her life sorted out, she is missing just one thing, a man. On her Senior year of high school, a new teacher is starting. Jacob Lancaster, English teacher has her in a trance, wanting him. She knows she will do the same thing her mom done over twenty years ago with her father. Carmen and Jacob's relationship gets heated and she is left wondering, will she end up just like her mom, happy and in love for the rest of her life? View table of contents...


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Submitted:Nov 27, 2012    Reads: 888    Comments: 4    Likes: 4   

Chapter 2

Feelings for Him

"Shit, you are one lucky dog!" Ellen said as we sat on her bed at her place. After supper at my house, I immediately went over to Ellen's house and told her everything. "He is even paying me fifty a week!" I said and he just smiled.

"And you get to be close to him after school," Ellen said and then winked at me.

"Ellen, I don't want to fuck the dude! I just have a slight attraction to him. I bet every girl that has him as a teacher does!" I cannot believe she would suggest that, maybe it's the comment I said at school today.

"Get your panties out your ass, girl! It is okay to want a man in a sexual way…"

"Are you talking about me?" Jason said as he barged into the bedroom. His blonde hair is down to his shoulders and he has very bright blue eyes. If was not such a douche bag and want in my pants, I would date him.

"No, Carmen has a crush on our English teacher," Ellen said rolling her eyes. He sat on the bed, right beside me and gave me a cute look and bashed his eyelashes at me.

"When will you just go to bed with me, just one night?" He said and I rolled my eyes.

"When hell freezes over!" I said and he frowned. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Jason!

"Well, I got some babe coming over tonight, see you girlies later!" Jason finally left and I sagged against her pillows.

"Jason can be so annoying!" Ellen said and I laughed, agreeing with her. Mrs. Reynolds, or Tawny, came in with a platter of cookies and my face went into a face splitting grin. I remember my mom doing this when some of my friends came over, which are not my friends now, bitches! "Thought you girls could appreciate some cookies," Tawny said with a beautiful smile. Ellen mentioned that her mom had a rough relationship before she met her father. They met after the breakup and Tawny's friend wanted her to get a workout to get fit. Now, they have been married for twenty years and what Ellen said, still has sex every night and can get loud! I really didn't want to hear that about her parents, but Ellen is pretty open. I can hear my parents have sex, and it sounds rough sometimes, but hey, they are married and in love, they can have sex! "Thanks Tawny," I said and she smiled. For being a little over forty years old, she is a very attractive woman. Both her kids got her blonde hair and their father's blue eyes. "Where's Carson?" I asked her and she smiled really big.

"He is at the gym, he will be home in a little bit. Where did Jason go?" She asked and Ellen rolled her eyes.

"Off to get some chick to fuck tonight," Ellen said and Tawny got very angry.

"How many times have I told you to not use that language, young lady?"

"I hear you scream 'Fuck me, Carson!' all night last night!" I covered my face and I know Tawny is fucking pissed off right now.

"Young lady, I will talk to your father about this! Our sex life is none of your business!" Tawny stormed off and I finally uncovered my face and shook my head.

"Do you purposely make your mom's life a living hell?" I asked her and she lay back against her pillows.

"No, I just very open minded. I really don't mean it, I will apologize to her later. My mom is a very emotional person, I don't blame her, with the shit she went through," Ellen said and I tilted my head to the side. What did Tawny go through over twenty years ago? It's none of my business, but I really would like to know!

The next day, Ellen took us to the mall in our suburb, Ontario. We walked around and rummage through the clothes in the shops, and I bought a few shirts on clearance. I am not a very wealthy person, but we are not poor. I can't afford designer stuff, same as Ellen. We went to the food court and bought a fruit smoothie and sat down. The mall is not as busy as it usually is. As we talked about school, Ellen looked up and she smiled really big. "Why hello, Mr. Lancaster!" Ellen said and my heart went to my throat. I looked behind me and there he is, in blue jeans, a Harley Davidson tee shirt and he has his aviator glasses on his head.

"Hello ladies, what are you two doing on this beautiful Saturday morning?" He asked us and I swallowed a few times, damn heart, get back in my chest.

"Just shopping, wasting time," I finally croaked out.

"I am getting some things for the classroom. Carmen, do you want to come with me?" He asked and I looked at Ellen and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Meet me at the car at three," She said and I looked at my watch and I have two hours. Two hours with Mr. Lancaster! I waved at Ellen and Mr. Lancaster put his hand on my upper back and pushed me slightly to start walking. As we walked, we didn't utter a single word to each other. When we made it to the book store, he finally said something. "You don't have to be so nervous around me, Carmen," Mr. Lancaster said and I opened my mouth and it went dry.


"Call me Jacob, please. Only call me Mr. Lancaster during school hours."

"Jacob, I'm sorry for being nervous. I never walked around with anybody other than my parents and Ellen in a mall before."

"As in a man?" His eyebrow cocked up and I licked my lips. They got unusually dry all of the sudden.

"Y-yes," I managed to say and he smiled. Jacob put his hand on the nape of my neck and we walked into the book store. He rummaged through some posters and I looked through some books, and I found a first edition Jane Austen book. "Ah, Austen, a good choice," Jacob said and I nodded.

"My dad is into math and my mom is into ballet. My mom has her own dance studio and my dad works at the high school, of course you know that. I loved books ever since I was probably eight years old and literature itself," I said touching the book and it feels like leather.

"My father was a welder and my mother worked in a mill factory in Montana. When I left to go to UCLA at eighteen, my parents we're happy at first. When I told them I'm going to be an English teacher, they freaked. They expected me to go to medical school or even law school to be rich. I love literature, like yourself. I haven't talked to my parents since I was nineteen, eleven years ago." Wow, that long ago? That makes him twenty eight years old, eleven years older than me! Shit, what an age difference! My dad is ten years older than my mom, so it doesn't matter with me.

"My parents are very understanding about my decision. My father is happy that I am interested in something other than hanging out with a bad crowd. My mom is just happy with everything I do. She still tries to get me to dance, but I cannot dance! I am in a dance class with Ellen and I feel on my ass!" Jacob laughed and we went though a few more things and he finally bought the items, which was five hundred dollars worth of merchandise. We walked around some more and he talked about Montana and his parents and he has a little sister, Josie. He has not seen her in eleven years also, she is twenty years old now. "I am an only child, I wish I had a brother or a sister," I said and he nodded.

"I love Josie, but she was a pest. I understood that she just wanted to be near me, and I didn't mind that, sometimes. I still remember bringing my date home when I was sixteen and Josie threw a snowball at us when I tried to kiss her…" He smiled at the memory. We walked and talked some more and when it came to ten till three, we knew its time for us to go.

"Carmen, you are a very beautiful woman, and I would like to take you out to dinner Monday, after we work. Care to join me for dinner?" Jacob said and my throat got dry. Jacob is asking me on a date? Wow, is this for real?

"S-sure, I will have to lie to my father…" I said and he shook his head to disagree.

"No you don't, I'll tell him that I will take you to dinner after our first day…well, it's a white lie. I am not taking you out for that reason, I am taking you out as a date." I smiled really big and he leaned down and placed a kiss on my cheek. His warm touch sent signals to my lower body, and I got very anxious to see him. If we are going on a date, will we kiss? I sure hope so!


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