"Why you asked me to come over, Autumn?" Bethany signed to me the next morning. I sat up in my bed and I sighed. She is the next person to ask about me hearing again. I just need to see how they would react so I can make my decision.
"What if I began to hear again? How would you react to that?" I asked her by signing.
"Well...I would be happy because my hands can have a rest!" She said and I laughed and she smiled. "No really, I would be happy to see you happy. I know lately you want to hear again. I would be very happy, and you can hear my awful voice!" I giggled and my mom came in.
"You are talking about hearing again?" Mom signed to me and I nodded. "Well honey, it's your body and your mind, so if you want to hear again then go ahead! Your dad and I would be happy if you go with it!" Mom said and I laid against my pillows. Beth and my parents want me to hear again for me. Ben... he is inconclusive. I think he wants me to hear again, but I don't know.
That night, Ben decided to come over and meet my parents. I got so nervous that I wanted to throw up. I heard the door bell ring and I ran down the stairs to the front door and Ben is standing there. "Hey baby!" He said and I jumped into his arms and kissed him. He let go of me and my parents are behind me. I turned around and smiled.
"Ben, did you use to work for me when you we're like sixteen?" Dad said and Ben nodded. What a coincidence this is... I never knew Ben worked for Dad!
"Yeah, you got me started on working, and now I am a lawyer!" Ben said and Dad smiled at him and we all went into the dining room and Mom already had the food ready for us. Ben sat down beside me and we began to eat. I seen my Mom raise her hands to talk to me.
"So, what is the deal about you wanting to hear again?" Mom asked me and I sighed.
"I just... want to hear again that is all," I signed to her again and Dad translated for me to Ben.
"I really don't care if she hears again, I am happy the way she is now but its up to her," Ben said and I bit into my roast and just ate as I watched them talk. I need to hear, it doesn't matter what others feel. I want to hear again.
After dinner, Ben decided to take me on to his place and I hugged my parents and when I hugged Mom, she looked at me. "Ben doesn't want you to hear, baby," She signed to me and I looked behind me and Ben is talking to Dad.
"He seemed hesitant when I asked him last night," I signed and she rolled her eyes.
"I don't want to ruin your relationship, but I don't like him. He is too conceited. He mainly talked about himself at the dinner."
"Well, I think I love him, and he will just have to accept that I going to hear again eventually. Good night Mom!" I gave her another hug and walked out the door. I didn't see her response when I told her I might love Ben. For some reason, she really made me mad, she is not trying to ruin my relationship...she tried to! She wants me to leave him because she doesn't like him!
On the way to his house, I just stared out the window and watched the buildings go by. I kept thinking, I made my decision...I am getting the implant in my ear. In less than a month, I will hear. Ben touched my arm and I turned to him and grinned. "What's wrong?" He asked me. I grabbed my notebook and began to write.
"Nothing, just tired. I want to go to bed once we get to your place," I wrote and he nodded.
"Me too...Me too..."
There is something wrong with Autumn. She has not acted right for about a week now. She acted more distracted since that doctors appointment in Gloucester. She is going around and asking about the what if's...what if she can hear again? Is she hiding the fact that she is able to hear? Why would she do that in the first place? We are home and like she wrote, she is going to bed. I opened the door and peeked into the bedroom and she is dead asleep. I need to sneak in and see if she can hear. I grabbed a stereo from my dresser and put it right beside her. I put in a heavy metal CD in it and turned it on loud as I think her ears can stand it. She didn't even flinch or move or wake up. Well... she is still deaf.
Is she also thinking about getting something done to hear again? Everybody wants her to do it for Autumn...but I really don't want her to hear again. I love her the way she is now. I actually fucking love her. I can live with reading her responses on paper, watching people sign to her and make sure she can see my lips.
I went back to the entertainment room and Joe is in there. "So, how was her parents?" Joe asked me and he flipped through the channels.
"Nice people, but Autumn has been acting strange. She keeps asking what if she can hear again?" I said and Joe sighed at me.
"The woman wants to hear again, what is the big deal with you?"
"I love the woman, okay? I love her the way she is now."
"Will you not love her if she began to hear again?"
"Y-yes, of course I will!"
"Dude, you are hesitant! You are a fucking ass hole. You only fucking care about yourself. What if it's you that is deaf and decided to get something done to make you hear? What if Autumn left you because you began to hear again? Would you be hurt?" God, if Autumn left me, I would die!
"I would be hurt and want to die if she left me," I said and Joe lifted his hands up to make a point.
"You will hurt the woman if you leave her because of you being an ass because she wants to hear again. Think before your actions!" Joe has a point, but still... I love her the way she is now.
Okay, I need to announce to my parents, Bethany and Ben about the implant. I just called the place and told Dr. Schwartz that I am going to do it. My appointment is in two weeks from today, on a Wednesday. I have to go to his office on Monday to go through with the details of the surgery. I text Bethany to go to my house and be there in twenty minutes. Ben is getting ready right now and I am still in my underwear.
Before I got the chance to get dressed. Ben grabbed my waist and pushed me onto the bed. He didn't move his lips at all, but put them on mine. He kissed me and his hand went to my sex and cupped me. I pushed my hips up to him and he rubbed harder and harder against my clit. This feels so good! He pulled my panties down and then his pants. This is going to be a quickie! He slid inside me, without a condom, and it feels good bare. I can feel everything on him, every vein...everything! He began to move inside me and I grunted and wrapped my arms around his neck. I already feel my release coming and he moved quicker, and he moved his hips around in a circle and pulled out. This is just too much! I cried out and my whole body is shaking and he also found his release too. I can feel his sticky cum fill me and to me that is...hot! He kissed the side of my neck and threw my clothes at me. "Let's go to your parents place!" He said to me and I nodded. Wonder how he would react to my little...announcement.
When we go to my parents place, Bethany is already there and she just waved at Ben. I asked everybody to sit on the couch. Ben sat between my parents and Bethany lit a cigarette. I really like to have one right now! "Okay, you probably wondering why I got all of you here," I signed and Bethany decided to translate today. Everybody nodded.
"Well, I went to the Hearing Institute of Gloucester a few days ago. I told Ben that I had an OB/GYN and I told Beth and my parents that I had a meeting. They done some tests on me and I am a candidate for the Esteem implant. Its a implant where they surgically put something in my ear to make me hear again. With this, I will hear as clear as you do. I made the decision to get it." I just stared at them and all four of them has a shocked expression on their faces. Ben leaned over and cleared his throat and Beth is the first one to speak up.
"Autumn, you sure you want this? It's surgery, there are risks..." She signed and I raised my hand up to stop her.
"I want this, and I want all of you to understand that twenty years without hearing anything has gotten to me. I began to date Ben, my first actual boyfriend, and that's what made me realize how much I wanted to hear again..." I began to cry and I wiped my hands before I sign some more. "I want hear his voice so bad, it's killing me. I want to hear him laugh when we joke around!" I sat down on the lazy boy recliner and cried. I never cried over anything like this. I have not cried over being deaf since I became deaf in the first place. Ben stood up and lifted me and sat me down on his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair as I cried and he kissed the top of my head. I looked up and my parents are staring at us. "Well, when is the surgery?" Dad signed to me.
"Two weeks from today. I go on Monday to get the details..." I looked up at Ben and wiped my tears from my face and grinned a little. "Do you want to go to this appointment?" I signed and Bethany translated.
"Yes of course..." He said and I leaned against him. Why do I have a feeling that this is not the end of this discussion with Ben?